Chapter 9

I turned back to Ellie after I hung up from talking to Brother Shepherd. "You have a job interview Tuesday morning, say at eleven. You're going to need to be on the road early, because Flagstaff, the county seat, is on the other side of the Grand Canyon."

She was crying again. "I've wronged you every step of the way, since I first set eyes on you, David."

"Well, I know what might help."

"What's that?"

"Going to bed. Sleep will have to take care of itself."

Our first time Ellie was clearly the aggressor, needing something from the sex. I didn't mind. She was wrong about one thing; I had looked a couple of times when she wasn't aware. I knew she had small breasts and small nipples, and I found that they were in fact, the perfect size. I smiled to myself when I realized she wanted to be on top; only Susan had wanted that of the other Maidens.

That first time was quicker than I liked, but I made up for that with staying power, when Ellie clearly wanted a quick release. It wasn't exactly teasing, because there was nothing teasing about the way I moved in her, but still, I made it last well past what she wanted.

And when it was over, I surprised both of us by putting my hands on her bottom and pushing her north, positioning her over my mouth. I proceeded to eat her out vigorously, and if there was sperm mixed with her secretions ... well it wasn't as though I'd expected women not to be put off by the same tastes.

After she had two powerful orgasms, by mutual consent we flipped over and her legs wrapped around my back and I set a pace that I knew I couldn't keep up for long. Still, it was long enough for her to come again and leave me drained.

I rolled off her and cupped one of her breasts in the palm of my hand. She smiled at me, then her eyes closed and her breathing evened out.

I kept expecting to fall asleep myself, but I didn't, instead I lay awake wondering just how many twists and turns my life was going to take from here on out. After about a half hour, Ellie hadn't stirred, but I felt her nipple come erect beneath my hand. I hadn't been doing anything to stimulate her, and my first thought was that she was cold. We were sleeping under just a sheet and the room was a little on the chill side, so I pulled up the comforter on the bed and then settled back down next to her.

The movement hadn't interrupted her sleep; now both nipples were erect and she had a smile on her face. How do you tell a woman you love that she frowns too much when she's awake, and that when she smiles, she is a very beautiful woman indeed?

I was still contemplating that when I did fall asleep.

Again I was on the hillside, with Joan a few feet away. She seemed to spend nearly as much time staring into the distance as I did.

Finally she took a breath and turned to me. "I love the country, Brother David. Life isn't as hurried as in the city and frequently, but not always, it's less complicated."

I smiled. "I've found it complicated enough. I prayed this afternoon. An agnostic knows he's in trouble when he turns to prayer."

"It's not hard."

"No, and that's probably why people have so much trouble with it. How can something that simple be useful? If God is all powerful, why would he want to intercede on our behalf?"

"Sometimes the intercession isn't to our liking; most often we don't even recognize it."

I smiled. "There's that."

"I'll be able to spend more time with you over the years, David, but just now I'm nearly out of time. I have one problem and one small thing."

"I'm ready."

She shook her head. "The problem is gays, Brother David. God isn't the sort of person who discriminates against people for who they love -- only that they do love. Still, homosexuality was a sin in my time and while the toleration is improving in your time, it still leaves something to desired -- particularly among fundamentalists like Brother Brooks. He is struggling -- that's the sign of a good man, Brother David. It means he is searching for truth and is unwilling to let his old beliefs dictate to him simply because that was what his grandfather believed.

"What God wants of people, Brother David, is for them to love each other. Fully, deeply committed love. The eternal love the Faith is so fond of. Those who are deeply committed to each other have to be deeply committed to their families and children and the children of other families. The children are the bedrock of our future and families are what underpins the bedrock. It is a charitable act, worthy of the best of mankind -- and womankind -- when a family adopts a child. It is made easier when one partner is the mother of the child, but it is still difficult.

"God is about love, Brother David. Love, family and children, are the underpinnings of duty and faith. If you have those, Brother David, you are on the right side of God and he's willing to give some leeway in other areas.

"Decide for yourself if Sister Catherine and Sister Abigail are committed for eternity."

"I was going to do that." I paused. "And gay men?"

Her face darkened. "Lust is one of the worst sins, Brother David. Too many gay man are interested in the sex; they wouldn't know love if they saw it. They are interested in themselves and their own pleasure. Few have children. Yes, there are a few, but they are a tiny minority. One day in not so long, God will send a messenger to gay men to tell them to get right with God. They have free will -- they can ignore the message or pay attention."

She grinned at me. "You aren't the messenger, Brother David; he hasn't been born yet."

"Do you see the future?"

"The future, Brother David, is a series of infinite possibilities. I see those possibilities. I see things that I can do that make some of those possibilities more likely than others. As long as you have free will, nothing is certain. For right now, counsel gay men as you will come to counsel others who have lost their way.

"There remains but one thing, Brother David. Fortunately, it is a small thing and won't take long. Ellie has a surprise waiting for you."

She was gone and I was awake. Ellie had rolled over on her side, facing me. She was weeping softly.

"Ellie?"

"David." She sounded so sad.

"I have to tell you something about me; something important," she told me.

"That's up to you, Ellie. I promise, anything you tell me isn't something I'll pass on unless you tell me I can."

"You're the second man I've ever slept with. The first time was in high school; it was a terrible experience. In spite of thinking I was an adult and ready -- I wasn't ready. He was a clueless young man, like so many his age. He came, rolled over and went to sleep; it did nothing for me. The next day he was bragging about it to his friends."

I hugged her. "Not all men are like that."

"In my heart I knew that. But then I went into the Air Force and ended up in the Air Police. I liked that a lot; I met Ann there. She and I were together -- for a long time. When we were discharged we learned a hard truth. She is a big city girl, and I'm a country girl." She laughed bitterly. "She thought of Austin as a little town.

"Since then, I've had a few flings, making sure to keep them a lot further than a hundred miles from the flagpole. Nothing permanent. Honestly, I've been a lesbian in my mind for a dozen years. You snuck right up on me."

"I wasn't trying to."

"That's what was so sneaky about it," she said with a laugh. "I'd probably have ignored you if you had tried to hit on me."

"I wasn't as disinterested as you think," I told her.

She shrugged. "I figured that out, kind of. That's when I realized you were one of those 'keepers' they are always talking about in women's magazines."

She ran her hand over my chest, heading for points south. She stopped short though. "Is that going to be a problem?"

I shook my head. "I take it that in your discussion with the Maidens of the Faith you never got around to talking about kindling sparks."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"The Faith expects young women to be celibate after their first sex, so there are no unwanted pregnancies. That's if they want sex in the first place. Then, when they are more mature, they can have sex with a 'Father of the Church' so they can get pregnant. The belief is that the children of such unions are specially blessed -- like what happened with Mary, Jesus and Joseph."

"That borders on sacrilege."

"And tell me, what do the Christian faiths teach about someone who gets another man's wife pregnant? Is that acceptable behavior?"

"I gave all that church stuff up a long time ago."

"Well, you are going to have to face the fact that if you're going to be with me, you're going to be in the middle of 'church stuff.'"

"You've really bought into the whole thing?"

"Ellie, if someone you knew well came up to you and said she'd decided to make a vocation of the church and become a nun -- what would you tell her? That it's all claptrap and bunk -- that she was being fooled?"

Ellie was silent. "I don't know what I'd do. My first instinct would be to try to argue her out of it. But now I realize that was presumptuous -- who am I to tell someone how to live her life?"

"A friend, Ellie. You have to be careful, but if you think someone is making a mistake, you're obligated to speak up."

I returned to the original topic. "Women of the Faith are permitted sex once with a Father of the Faith to show them what sex is about. Once ... and I know you don't approve, but it has to happen before her first period starts."

"You're right, I don't like that at all."

"They aren't coerced, no matter what you think. There is some peer pressure, I suppose, but the Faith forbids coercion, even in it's mildest forms. They don't believe in missionaries, because they think that's too coercive."

"I still don't like it."

"Well, think about it with someone like Rebecca."

She sighed. "Go on; I have this feeling there is more."

"There is. After age sixteen, again if it is the young woman's wish, she can go to a Father of the Faith and try to get pregnant. While I haven't asked because it's too personal, I do think the young women know where they are in their monthly cycle; evidently it usually works."

"I'm not happy about that either."

"Well, understand that if a man wants to marry her, he has to be willing to adopt the baby and acknowledge it as his."

"I thought you said they weren't into coercion."

"Was Joseph coerced into going along with his wife's pregnancy? Raising a son who wasn't his? Again, this is all voluntary; I get the impression that maybe two-thirds of the young women go to a Father of the Faith in the beginning, but far fewer desire to get pregnant. Usually one baby per girl; after that she's supposed to have sex with no man but her husband."

"No man? Does that mean what I think it means?"

"It means that from the earliest age the women of the Faith teach the young women how to pleasure themselves and each other. They aren't permitted to have sex with men who aren't their husbands, except Fathers of the Faith -- but there are no strictures about other women. I get the impression that most of them 'kindle sparks' with each other. That's what the two young women were here about this afternoon. The got to kindling too many sparks, according to Brother Brooks. Now they want to get married and live together forever and have lots of babies. Blessed babies."

She was clearly surprised. "That's ... just short of incredible."

It was something I'd overheard among the Maidens. "I get the impression that once a woman is married and has a family, it happens less and less. But good friends stay good friends, even so."

"All along you were telling me I didn't know what I was talking about. Rebecca was ... awesome. There were so many things I thought that are wrong! She says she'll be an Elder one day herself."

"A woman can be whatever she can achieve in the Faith, Ellie. There are no gender strictures."

"Are there women Elders now?"

"Again, I don't know as many details as I could. I'm essentially the new kid on the block. I'm fairly certain there is at least one and maybe two."

"You seem to have learned a lot on that drive."

I grinned. "I don't suppose you saw who was sitting where?"

"No, I didn't. Is it important?"

"Most of them are shy around strangers, particularly shy around men. I would not call Sister Rebecca shy. She sat in the seat across from me," I told her.

"She questioned me about my beliefs, and corrected me with hers whenever we disagreed. After a short time I thought the trip would last forever. At Camp Verde I hated to see her go."

"She converted you."

"Like I said, the Faith isn't into coercion. I asked questions of her and she asked them of me. I was curious about the stories about the Faith that I heard from the media. My mother was Brother Jerome's sister; adopted sister as it turns out. I couldn't believe she'd accept some of the things I heard Brother Jerome accused of, brother or not. It was an education, not a conversion."

"They're the same thing, I think," Ellie told me.

"Then I wish I could be educated more," I told her. "I still have trouble with dogmatic acceptance of 'gospel.' Fortunately, Rebecca is long on theory and short on dogma."

"I can attest to that," Ellie said with a laugh. "I don't know if I could take it for a solid day, though, as a captive audience. I didn't manage very long on my own."

She bit her lip. "I suppose I'm a hypocrite."

"In what way?" I asked.

"You hear people say, 'I'm a breast man, or ass man, or thigh guy. I've never been aroused by someone's physical characteristics. Still haven't been. But the young girl -- Rose. I can't put it into words. I felt awe in her presence. It was beyond being impressed with someone. I ... God help me ... I was attracted to her. Sexually. She's eleven. Yet it didn't seem to matter at the time."

She bit her lip. "You'll think I'm crazy."

"I won't think you're crazy."

"After we were together and I fell asleep. I dreamed. I was in a place; I don't know what place. It was a little like where I grew up in East Texas, where the prairie stretches out for miles, but I got the distinct impression it wasn't anywhere around there or even around here. I was with a woman.

"I looked at her and she looked at me, and the next thing I knew we were rolling around in the hay making love. I thought I was a terrible hypocrite when we were done and laying in each other's arms. It had been sweet, one of my better times. But you, David, were light years better.

"She saw I was unhappy and talked to me. 'You wish I was Brother David, and the two of you were together, and that you weren't here with me.'"

"I told her yes. It had been nice, but you'd been better. 'Love, ' she told me, 'is what makes it better. You love Brother David and not me. I understand this. Do you?' I told her that my concept of love didn't involve getting up from the bed of someone I loved and going to the bed of someone I didn't, enjoying the sex and then expecting a warm welcome on my return.

"She told me that if I loved another than one I left, that would be a bad thing. But that God is love, and that there isn't enough love in all the universe to use it all up. People, she told me, have hang-ups about it, but God didn't. She told me we were only going to have the one time together like we'd had, and after we were done I was going to have to get up and walk away. That it was easier for everyone if it was only once. The purpose was to show me what was possible, not to entangle me.

"Then we got up; I hadn't realized I was nude until we were in the hay. We went to the hay-loading window -- the big door upstairs in a hay barn where you bring in the hale bales to keep them off the ground. We looked out across that flat prairie in the moonlight. It seemed to go on a long way, but way out there, dim in the distance, the lights of a city glittered.

"'It is a terrible thing, ' I was told, 'to see that city out there and know that our kind isn't welcome there. Oh, we can visit, but not to stay. Someone has to show others the way ... the others being those in the city. We love as they do, but not in the way they do. It will take a special person, Ellie, to show them that love is what's important between people and that nothing else comes as close in gaining God's regard and love in return. You can help Brother David and others in this. Please, this is a critical time for your people. You have glimmerings of the right path forward, but too many people can't see it and have lost their way.

"'Love your husband, Ellie. Love others. Show people the way. It isn't a sin to love someone and it isn't a sin if they love you back.'" Ellie sighed. "That was bad enough. She told me that I had to go but that I should remember that while Sister Rose had kindled sparks in me ... that I'd kindled sparks in Sister Rose and that sparks are terrible things to waste.

"And then I was awake again, here with you."

I sighed in frustration. "Rebecca not only skipped the whole 'kindling sparks' lecture with you but didn't talk about bringing someone to the Light either."

"I thought that was about when you experienced rapture or something, like the Baptists do. When you come to God."

"Well, sort of. The Faith believes that when two people make love, at the moment of orgasm they become one with God. They call that 'bringing someone to the Light.' Fathers of the Faith bring young women to the Light so that they will know the joy of God that their husbands will bring to them. Later some of the young women choose to have babies by Fathers of the Church and they believe in that moment they and their child are blessed by God. They believe that there is something special and holy about sex that transcends the usual rules.

"They limit an unmarried women from having sex except with a Father of the Faith, and then twice is usually it. Like I said, the women of the Faith have been taught it's okay to bring each other to the Light. The Faith feels that it's unfair for a women to have to wait as long as she must after she's sexually mature to get married, thus the dispensation."

"Okay..." she said slowly. "What about the young men? What are they supposed to do?"

"They mature a few years later and don't have to wait as long. The Faith believes that too many young men are subject to lust and not love, and in their desire for their own pleasure, would spoil the experience for a young woman. The Faith wants women to be able to grow up, knowing the joy of sex and marriage and children.

"Young men are supposed to spend their time and energy not in sex, but in education or work; preferably both. When they learn some discipline and self-control, then they can think about getting married. That's why so many of the marriages have age differences."

"I suppose it makes sense. God, there's a lot to think about."

"I know; I've thought long and hard about it. It's a lot to accept."

"You don't think it's strange that I had a vision of -- someone -- holy?"

"No, such visions have long been common, although they are out of vogue in our society these days. Ellie, I looked at the weather report before I headed from Phoenix to Texas to do the errand for my uncle. There was no storm of any sort in the offing. In Texas, before I went out to Brother Jerome's temple, I knew what he wanted me to do. I grew up in the southwest, Ellie. Checking the weather report is second nature to me."

"And that I've never bothered to look at the weather in my life nearly got me killed."

I nodded. "The point is, there was no hint of a storm in the forecasts I saw. Yet Brother Jerome knew about it in advance and had made preparations for it. He told me when the power was going to go out and he called the morning of the day I found you and told me where you were and how far from the house you were. Ellie, I had no idea you were out there until he told me. None. I didn't go for a walk in that storm of my own volition. I nearly died out there myself when the storm closed back down when I was returning. If Brother Jerome hadn't provided a GPS, I'd have gotten lost and we both would have been killed."

"So my survival was a miracle?"

"I don't know what else it was, Ellie. But I don't think it was an accident."

She sat up in bed, and wrapped her arms around her knees. "I've told myself for as long as I can remember that I'd be happy to accept God, if I could just see him for myself. Twice now, I think, I've seen him. I think a Missouri mom must have switched me in the hospital -- I'm just too hard-headed." She glanced my way with a strange smile. "When I became a policeman, my mother cried for days. My father told me that no fascist pig would ever be welcome in his house; that I was to get out and never come back. Yet for me, it was something interesting that I thought I'd like to try. I liked it from the start.

"David, I was losing my way; I was becoming like the people that once disgusted me on the job. Twice you've saved my life and I didn't even notice the second time! Talk about being a detective! You'd think I'd notice!"

I reached out and ran my hand over her breast. "There are certain rewards that are traditional for knights who save damsels in distress."

She wanted to be on top again; honestly I didn't mind. I had an easier time reaching the parts of her I wanted to reach. Her body was lithe and muscular; I didn't want to think about how much I hoped to be in that good of shape in few years. I could feel her bottom beneath my hands, I could run my hands over the smooth skin of her back and around to the tight points of her breasts. I could reach down and finger her clit.

This time she was slower and more deliberate, and again I let her control our pace. Then something came over her and she leaned down and kissed me harder than I've ever been kissed before. She twisted and writhed over me, driving my erection into her deep enough so I felt her cervix, something I'd never done before.

When it was over, she looked down on me. "David, are you a man of your word?"

"Yes."

"If I ask you to do something and never tell a soul -- would you at least consider it?"

"I will at least consider it. Ellie there isn't much that I wouldn't do for you, just so long as it doesn't involve hurting someone."

"There are those would assume that what I wanted was prima facie evidence of my intent to harm."

"While I don't abjure all the statists laws and regulations -- I plan to keep driving on the right side of the street, for instance, but the rest I will take under advisement."

"You said that you were going to get up from our bed and go to a young woman and bring her to the Light. Do Fathers of the Faith ever marry those women?"

"Yes. Obviously, not often. The Faith isn't into giving men free rein. They realize sin is a real temptation. Men are limited to three wives."

"Would you object if I got up one day from our bed and went and brought a young woman to the Light? One I wanted to marry nearly as much as I want to marry you?"

What had Rebecca said, aside from herself she thought I'd end up with Susan and Rose for wives?

"I don't have a problem with that, so long as you agree to the things I asked for earlier."

"I agree to them. Would you ... would you help me meet her? Get to know her?"

I didn't want to sound like I knew the answer off the top of my head. "I don't see why not. Do you want a match maker or duenna?"

"The last is a chaperone?"

"Yes."

"If it is okay for me to be smitten by a nubile pre-teen, it has to be okay for you too. How about a partner in crime?"

I swallowed, remembering what Rose had said. "Ellie, I'm sure about one thing. I will be happy to help. But I can't be a partner in what you wish for some years to come. If she's eleven like you said, she can't even ask to get married until she's sixteen. You and she can kindle all the sparks that you want until then. It's even okay with the Faith if you let me watch. But no man of the Faith can participate."

"You could if it's her first time."

"Ellie, it would have to be her free wish. Fathers of the Faith aren't supposed to talk to the young women about such things until she asks him. If it was truly her will, Ellie, then yes. But you will have to be careful not to sway her opinion."

She laughed low. "And here I thought the old men of the Temple lived to get as many of those girls into bed as often as they could. Instead, you talk about how you're supposed to get up and walk away ... and never come back."

"I told you before, that the stories you've heard about the Faith are from people who left. They have made a cottage industry of telling stores about the Faith. The more lurid the story, the more TV stations, the more the media, particularly book publishers, are willing to pay them for their stories."

"And we believed them because it made us feel so much more heroic, rescuing innocent children from slavering old men. I'm sorry David; I swear I will never again let other people tell me the facts of the case and accept it without checking first."

"Then I have one last hurdle for you. Do you love me, Ellie? With all your heart and soul, for all eternity?"

"You want to marry me? Yeah, we spent ten days together, but still..." She chewed on her lip. "Yes, I love you David, like no other in this life."

"Will you be able to get up from a bed with Rose in it, and come to mine and still love me?"

"Yes."

"I swear to you I will still love you, no matter who I sleep with. So yes, I'll help."

A little while later we were spooned together, me behind her. I tried to think about everything again, but I was exhausted and was asleep in an instant.

We made love again in the first light of dawn, me coming from behind her. It was slow and languid, neither of us in a hurry. After an hour the pace was still slow, but Ellie pulled forward and away, and then rolled over. The next thing I knew she took me in her mouth.

We showered separately before we dressed. Breakfast was better by far because Ellie had brought some real eggs, some bacon and some orange juice. We spent a couple of hours in the living room, just snuggling on the couch in front of the fire.

About 9:30 we heard something outside, although it sounded like a distance away. I went to the window and saw a huge SUV headed up the road towards the house, with a tow truck back down the road with men working around it, tiny in the distance.

"Company coming, Ellie. If the size of the SUV is a measure of who this is, it's going to be the FBI."

The temperature outside was in the twenties, the sun was bright and clear, and so I settled for a parka with a hood and gloves. I was waiting on the porch when two men disembarked from the SUV. The man who was a step in front of the other one I recognized from the day before.

He nodded to me. "Mr. Strom, we weren't formally introduced yesterday, I'm Carlos Montoya, the Special Agent in Charge of the Phoenix FBI office. I'd shake your hand, but it's too damn cold."

"It is at that," I agreed. "What can I do for you?"

"Is that Detective Ellen Grace's rental car? We went to visit her last night and the hotel said they hadn't seen her."

"Yes." On cue, Ellie came out.

He nodded to her as well. "Detective, a situation has developed in Sequin, I'm sorry to say."

"What sort of situation?" she asked cautiously.

"A party of agents arrived to secure DA Sheffield's office. It was pretty routine, until they were shooting the breeze and one of the local officers mentioned that they finally had an explanation of all their headaches of late. The speculation was that they had all been PMSing. One of our agents was a woman and she wasn't happy with the nature of the comment at all, but Joe Clark was there; he's a good man and a good agent.

"The thing is, six months ago his wife hit a speed bump too hard in a grocery store parking lot with her Subaru -- the bottom of the car still had yellow paint on it. It broke the exhaust pipe where it comes out of the engine. To make a sad story short, she was coming home from work one afternoon a day later. At first they thought she fell asleep at the wheel, but one of the EMTs saw the blue color on her face and took a blood sample. Carbon monoxide. These days Joe has a real hard on about carbon monoxide leaks -- his wife is dead and he had to explain to his six-year-old daughter that her mommy would never be coming back.

"He walked right outside, suit and all, and crawled under one the squad cars. The muffler looked to be a hundred years old and was rusted through in many places. It appeared to have been badly welded on and didn't fit the car.

"They looked at the other county-maintained cars and found numerous example of bad maintenance. All of those vehicles are death traps, Detective. You were luckier than you know. So Joe tore into the maintenance records..."