I had spent so many nights lying on my bed with my hand on my penis, thinking about men. I had never been lucky with girls so justified my sometimes unforgivable thoughts about guys with 'When I start getting attention from girls I'll stop'. But it didn't stop.

I met a girl called Amanda who went to my school. She was a loud, bubbly and very friendly blonde with the looks of a Victoria's Secret model. She was the type of girl who everybody had to have had sex with.

We went behind a club one Saturday night and she gave me head for five minutes before we had sex against the wall. I managed to ejaculate and everything but for the most part of the experience, I was imagining that I was fucking a guy. That's when the thought occurred to me that I must be gay. I had to be.

I went the next three years without one bit of sex. I was getting quite a few advances from girls but kept saying 'I'm seeing somebody' to try and get out of it. Plus, being a closet homosexual didn't grant you any action at all. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every single minute of being a closet homosexual. I loved it!

The main reason that I loved being a closet homosexual was the voyeur aspect of it. I got to check out men's asses, stare at their bulges, watch them get naked in the showers after football practice, you name it. There had been so many times where I'd be sat with a towel over my erection, just watching these guys chat to one another without any clothes on. I had spent countless minutes jacking off in the changing stalls, ejaculating into my hands and lapping it all up to get rid of the evidence.

My best friend, Jordan, was completely unaware of the fact that I liked guys. I must've been hiding it from him very well. He spent more time sleeping over at my house than he did at his own. We had a very close relationship which is why it killed me that I couldn't just sit down with him and tell him that I was gay.

I only had a single bed so whenever he slept over, I'd kindly offer him my bed to sleep in which he almost always accepted and I'd sleep on my bedroom floor with a pillow and some sheets. The second that I saw he left my house to return home, I'd jog back upstairs and jack off to the scent of his cologne which was left on my pillows.

Jordan was very handsome. Six feet tall, he had a very athletic body and shaggy blonde hair with baby blue eyes. He was very neat and it was impossible to see him without a smooth, shaven face. Whenever I'd speak to him, my eyes would draw down to his pearly white teeth and his juicy lips which I was dying to suck off his face. It was getting to the point where I was completely obsessed with him. I quite often sniffed his boxers when he was in the shower as well as his socks and shoes.

He had to find out somehow that I was gay. Would he still want to be my best friend? Would he want to be more than friends? He was very popular with the ladies so the latter wasn't even a possibility.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was expecting Jordan to arrive at my house within the next hour. As I sat on my bed and watched the television I couldn't help but think about the gorgeous boy who would soon pleasure me with his presence. I felt my penis growing harder in my pants and had to act upon it. I stripped completely naked and lay on my bed, my penis pointing towards my ceiling. I began to tug away, eyes closed and my head resting on my pillow. I reached underneath my bed and pulled out my other best friend, the dildo which I bought online.

I lubed up my fingers and began to finger myself very gently, trying to expand my anus before the entry of my dildo. In between alternating insertions of my fingers, my hand slid up and down my cock which was soaked with my pre-cum at this point. When my anus finally felt relaxed I went ahead and pushed the dildo inside. I let out a loud moan of relief and began to thrust it in and out of my ass whilst I jacked hard on my cock.

As I reached closer to orgasm I heard my bedroom door open and I immediately stopped what I was doing. It was too late to cover up and hide my dildo. In the doorway was Jordan, stood looking at first shocked but then highly amused.

"Dude!" he yelled with amusement.

I fumbled my dildo and slid it underneath my bed before covering myself up with my pillows. "I wasn't expecting you for another hour." I muttered under my breath.

The embarrassment was unbelievable. I sat there on my bed with my head hung in shame whilst Jordan laughed at me. He came over to my and sat down beside me on my bed.

"Listen, man. I totally understand. I anally masturbate all the time." Jordan said to me, his hand now caressing my shoulder.

I raised my head and quietly said "Really?"

"Yeah. I get really curious sometimes. But don't tell anyone, okay?"

I smiled and felt my cock begin to stiffen again due to the sensation of his soft hands caressing my shoulders. Jordan looked down and noticed that the pillows began to rise with anticipation.

He smiled at me and removed the pillows from my lap, revealing a rock hard cock which was hungry for attention. His eyes didn't leave my cock as he reached down and wrapped his hand around the base.