Jumbo!

"Listen, Doctor, I've had this problem for a while now. Nothing's worked. Not even Viagra." Ricky was at the end of his tether. The thought of never having sex again terrified him.

"Hmm, well. There is something we could try. It's an experimental operation. We replace the muscle tissue in your penis with that from an elephant's trunk. Don't decide now. Think about it. Come back next week and let me know."

Ricky decided that the elephant treatment was the only option should he ever want to play hide the sausage again. The operation took place two weeks later and he was home within forty-eight hours.

"Take it easy for a while," the doctor told him. "No spanking the monkey if it rises unexpectedly. Leave it for at least a month before you test out the old boy."

Sylvia, Ricky's girlfriend, was thrilled. She'd missed riding the baloney pony and couldn't wait to give the new trunk a test drive. Exactly one month after the operation, she booked a romantic dinner to set the mood for a night of hot lovin'.

During the main course, Ricky felt a stirring in his loins that grew to the point of agony. He opened his fly to release the pressure. To his utter shock, his cock sprang out, slid across the table, picked up a bread roll and returned to his slacks.

Sylvia was astonished. When she'd realised the implications and recovered the ability to speak she said, "That was amazing. Can you control it or does it have a mind of its own?"

"I can sort of control it. But not completely."

"Do you think you could do it again?"

Ricky grimaced. "I think I could," he groaned. "But I'm not sure I could fit another bread roll up my arse!"