Doctor, Doctor

(290 words)

"Ah, Mrs. Morris. Here for your check-up?"

"Yes, Dr. Burns."

"Good, Good. Well, let's get started then, shall we?"

The examination took half an hour. "Mrs. Morris, I'm pleased to tell you that you're in excellent health for your age. Is there anything else I can do for you while you're here?"

"There is actually, doctor." Mrs. Morris looked embarrassed.

"It's okay. There's nothing you can say that I won't have heard before."

"Well, it's my husband. He's been having a little difficulty in the trouser department."

"You mean his impotency. Yes, yes, I know all about it. Didn't the pills I prescribed work?"

"He won't take them. Flat refuses. You know how he is. He won't even take aspirin for a headache."

"There is one thing you could do, but I really shouldn't suggest it. It's not exactly ethical."

"Please, doctor. I'm getting desperate."

"Well, I shouldn't really suggest crushing the tablet into a fine powder and sprinkling it in his cocoa. I mean, he'd never know, and slipping someone medication without their knowledge ... it's just not right. Even if it is for their own good."

"Oh. Okay, doctor." Mrs Morris tapped the side of her nose and winked. "I understand."

Two weeks later, Mrs. Morris returned to the surgery for a follow-up appointment.

"Well, how did it go?" Dr. Burns asked.

"I did as you didn't suggest, doctor. He doesn't drink cocoa, so I crushed up the tablet and put it in his tea instead."

"And?"

"It worked. He drank his tea, jumped up, stripped, tore off my knickers and shagged me right there on the table."

"So why the frown?"

"Oh, it's nothing really. I just don't think I can ever show my face in McDonald's again."