Value for Money

(286 Words)

Tony had taken up jogging because the doctor had instructed him to improve his fitness levels or risk a heart attack. Every morning before sunrise, he jogged the same circular route from his house, through some of the city streets and the park and back home.

One morning, halfway around his route, he passed a hooker returning from a hard night's work on her back.

"Fifty quid," she called as he jogged past.

Tony was momentarily taken aback at bring propositioned so openly, but he gathered his wits and called back, "Five."

"Fuck off! I'm no bargain basement shag."

The same thing happened every day for the next two weeks. Tony encountered the hooker as she returned home. He jogged by, she quoted a price and he yelled one back. Not once did they agree.

One Saturday, Tony's wife decided to go jogging with him. They left at his usual time, and followed his usual route. Tony only hoped that the hooker had taken the night off.

He was apprehensive as they approached the street where he normally met her. He knew she'd quote him her usual fifty quid, and his wife might think that he'd been availing himself of her services.

They turned the corner and sure enough, there was the hooker, staggering along on ridiculously high heels.

"Look at that," said Tony's wife. "You think she'd have a little more self-respect."

They passed the hooker and Tony did his best to avoid eye contact. He breathed a sigh of relief when she was behind him—he'd got away with it.

Suddenly, the hooker called out. "Oy! Bet you're sorry you didn't stump up fifty now that you see what you get for a fiver!"