Chapter 5

About the time David and Bob met, June let herself into Abby's kitchen. She spotted her friend in her usual chair with her usual mug. What worried her was the unfocused look in Abby's eyes.

"Abby? Honey? What's the matter? Did I see Aaron with a cast on his arm? What happened? Abby? Abby! You're scaring me, Abby."

That was enough to nudge Abby from her fugue. She looked at June and started to weep.

June dove into a chair and held Abby to her chest. She rocked her friend until Abby quieted.

"Talk to me, Abby. What's going on?" she murmured.

"Everything's wrong. It's all upside down."

"Tell me everything real quick, like yanking off a bandage."

"Aaron broke his arm. Then David lost his job because he came to the hospital. I thought I could get David back, but I realized I must not love him and I ... now David hates me. Oh, June. What am I going to do? Everything I thought I knew is all wrong." Abby began to cry on June's shoulder again.

"You poor dear. You must feel awful. Just cry it out, dear."

When Abby had quieted again, June poured a fresh cup of coffee for each of them.

"Aaron looked fine when he was walking down the driveway."

"It doesn't hurt anymore. It's a greenstick fracture; it just broke partway, so it should heal fine. I think he's looking forward to showing it off. He chose that bright yellow himself. The doctor thinks three weeks till it comes off."

"So it's not a real big thing. He just has to work around having just the one arm to do things."

"Oh, yeah. He'll be fine."

"Great. I was worried. How did David lose his job? I know he's good, and he works so hard."

Not realizing how June was splitting her insurmountable problem into manageable bits, Abby told her how David had confronted Dennis and walked out. June was as stunned as Abby had been.

"David stood up to his boss? David walked away from his job? Wow! When he told you, did you get wet?"

Abby shrieked, "June!" and swatted her so-called friend.

"Well?"

"Maybe a little."

Both women giggled in a most decidedly unladylike fashion.

"With everything you've told me, I'm not surprised. You've been mooning over him since he moved out and all of a sudden he does exactly what you always wanted him to do. So, tell me then, what is this BULLSHIT about you not loving him?"

As planned, the volume and mild obscenity shocked Abby.

"Well I don't."

"I have sat here for three years, pushing you to date, to find another husband, or at least go out and get laid. For three years you've bitched and moaned that you can't. 'I'm not ready, ' you'd say and 'I just want my old David back.' What part of 'still loves him' don't you get?"

"If I loved him, I wouldn't have thr ... thrown him out. He still loved me. I may not like how he treated me, us, but he showed his love every day by working so hard for us."

June was listening carefully and paused to digest this new line of reasoning.

"So that's how you feel now? We're good friends, you and I. Friends support each other and help each other out. Abby, I've done my best not to judge, but I'm going to now.

"You were unhappy with your life. You had a partner who was stubborn and inflexible. You didn't see an end to your unhappiness. You were frustrated and couldn't see any other way to change your life, so you took the only option you saw. You divorced David."

"And I shouldn't have."

"Probably not. The divorce wasn't really what you wanted and it didn't make you happy, but after that, you had no more options. Sweetie, you never stopped loving him. You were frustrated and unhappy and you lashed out the only way you could think of. At worst, you messed up. Even now, admit it, you still think of him as your husband."

"Oh, you're right. Maybe I didn't like him for awhile, but I still loved him. But it still doesn't matter. He hates me and I'll never get him back."

"Did he say that?"

"No, but how could he not?"

"Abby, Abby, Abby. You are the only person I know who could get in a fistfight with herself and knock herself out. What exactly did David say last night?"

Abby strained to recall the conversation.

"I was trying to see if he was angry, or still angry, about the divorce. He said that he never really understood why I wanted one. I tried to explain what I was thinking, what I felt, and he was looking at me like a confused little boy, and then he started to look disappointed. I started to cry and he looked scared, and I cried some more. He asked what he could do and I told him there was nothing he could do, and then he looked really disappointed and he kept looking at me.

"I couldn't stand to have him just looking at me, so I told him he should go home, and I ran to my room to cry. He just let himself out and left. That was when I knew I'd lost him for good. He hates me now and he'll never come back."

"Sweetie, you sure don't do things halfway."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll take it easy on you, but you are not thinking straight. You were upset and frustrated with David and you divorced him, right?"

"OK."

"Last night you were upset and frustrated with yourself and you did what?"

"Oh, my God! I sent him home!"

"Not very bright, but you sure are consistent."

"He saw I was upset. Why did he just go?"

"I swear you must have slept through Men 101. When you say something to a man, he'll hear one of five things; sex, food and liquor, sex, whatever the hell he wants to, or just what you said. Honey, you told him to go, so he went. You should know by now that men don't do hints."

Abby sat quietly and thoughtfully while pieces started to fall into place.

June interrupted her. "You're one of the smartest people I know, but you've fallen into a gully, or a trap, or something, and you can't see your own life clearly."

"A gully or an express train. I put myself on a track and there's no way off."

"Well, then. What do you say we derail that train?"

"We?"

"I love my Lou and wouldn't cheat on him, but I need some excitement in my life. If I can't seduce a man myself, at least let me seduce one vicariously."

Abby actually laughed at that. "OK. You've got a deal"

"I see three rules for how we can rescue your love life. First of all. Go for it. What's passed is in the past. Know it and understand it, but don't let it hold you back."

"Got it."

"Two. Keep him close. Face it; he's a good looking man and seems to get better looking every week. There are two parts to this one. A: don't let another woman get a chance, and B: the more he's around you, the better chance you have to pull him in even closer."

"No problem."

"Three. Give it time. He's confused right now and he can't turn on a dime. He has to have a little while to understand that the bad times are over and heaven is right over here. Just keep the first two rules is mind, so that he doesn't find heaven somewhere else, or even some-wheres. It could happen, you know. There aren't any guarantees."

"I know, and it has me more than a little scared."

"Rule number one?"

Abby laughed again. "Go for it, even if I'm scared."

"By George, I think she's got it."

"Rex Harrison, you're not, but thank you so much. I was a total wreck, but now I have a handle on things. Matron of Honor?"

"Now you're thinking positively! I'd love to."

"Rule number four."

"Number four?"

"Support him. I have to prove to him again that he can rely on me, that I'll always be there for him, no matter what. I won't be mindless and servile, but I don't have to be. David would abhor it. But I let him down; I let him down badly. Twice I sent him away. I can't afford to do it again and keep him, so I have to make it a rule."

"I'll agree, four rules. Now where do we start?"

David returned to his apartment from the diner and called to make an appointment with the Service Corps of Retired Executives. He spoke briefly to one of the assistants who set him up for the coming Tuesday at 10:00.

He then called both Paul and Jack. After shuttling between the two, he set up a Monday meeting in Paul's office at the usual time.

With trepidation, he called Abby, sighing in relief when the answering machine picked up.

"It's David. I just wanted to thank you for supper and to say that I'll see the boys in shul and pick them up as usual on Sunday. I hope you're OK. Bye"

'That may have been cowardly, but I could kiss whoever invented the answering machine.'

After cleaning and doing some laundry, he was hungry so he had a quick dinner. For the first time in a while, there were no loose teeth and only one gap. Twenty-three of the thirty-two teeth had fallen out and been replaced. Thirty-two included the wisdom teeth, but he hoped those wouldn't be coming. He was enjoying the respite.

After dinner, he drove to the main branch of the library. He snagged one of the public computers and began his research into choosing a workstation and software for his new business, should that be his course. Before he knew it, the librarian was reminding him that it was closing time and his stomach was reminding him that he'd missed supper.

In shul the next day, David kept his distance from Abby, avoiding eye contact and responding to some of the boys' comments and questions with non-committal grunts. Abby, for her part, was still embarrassed by her outburst and didn't want to face the consequences in public. 'Rule three ... give it time. Tomorrow will be soon enough.'

Aaron, on the other hand, was lapping up the attention. All the adults asked what happened and all the other kids wanted to either sign the cast, or smack it. Never shy, he was, nonetheless, not accustomed to being the center of attention and gloried in it.

That afternoon, Abby sat relaxing in the den. Just like 'All in the Family', she had her chair and David his, a recliner. Though she didn't stop others from using the recliner, she herself would not. In her mind, it was still David's.

She was reading the newest bestseller when she heard her boys come tumbling down the stairs. They slid to a stop in the kitchen and, over the top of her book, she could see Nathan's face peek through the open doorway.

The boys whispered noisily for a minute and then quieted. Nathan, still in the kitchen, spoke to his brother loudly enough for Abby to hear.

"Dad sure is handsome these days."

"He sure is," Aaron agreed. "Nicer, too.

"Not like before."

"Nope, not at all. I really like spending time with him now. He's funny, too."

"I wish we could spend even more time with him," Nathan continued.

Abby, of course, had stopped reading when the conversation began. As it continued, she was having an increasingly difficult time keeping a straight face.

"Yeah, me too," Aaron answered.

"Of course, if we spend more time with Dad, that'll mean we have less time with Mom."

"That wouldn't be good. I like spending time with Mom."

Nathan replied, "Me, too. I wish there was some way we could spend more time with Dad and not have to leave Mom alone."

"Well, they could... "Aaron began.

Abby heard a light smack, followed by an "Oww" and some furious whispering. Quickly, she put the book on her chest, closed her eyes and feigned sleep. She heard the rustling of at least one of the boys moving toward the den. Though continuing her ruse, for a brief moment she cracked one eye a sliver. She saw Nathan peek at her again and pull back. The next thing she heard was his report to his brother.

"The whole thing was a waste. She was asleep."

"What are we going to do now?" Aaron whined to his older brother.

"I don't know yet, but don't worry. I'll think of something."

David couldn't remember feeling as refreshed and energetic as when he picked up the boys that Sunday morning. For a change, Abby escorted the boys and walked around to the driver's door. As she approached, David stood in the open doorway.

"I need a 'do-over'. Will you stay for supper tonight? Please? I promise not to throw you out again."

In the briefest pause, he thought, 'Thursday night dinner was a little tense, but she seems fine now. And I'll get to spend more time with the boys... '

"Sure, I'd be happy to. Do you need me stop and pick anything up?"

"No thanks. I have everything covered. See you later. Have a good time, boys."

The weather had remained warm and the town had dodged the rains of the night before, so a day in the park was the plan. They brought both baseballs and a Frisbee. In deference to Aaron's arm, while Nathan threw the ball to David, David was tossing the ball a few feet in front of Aaron so he could practice fielding grounders one-handed.

There were lots of errors and chasing down missed balls, but no one cared. After dinner, the baseballs went back to the car and the Frisbee came out to play. Especially for playing one-handed, Aaron was doing well. His smile never faded.

Finally, a toss from Nathan curved the opposite of what David anticipated and he overran it. Stopping in his tracks, he reached behind his back and snared the disk.

"Woohoo!"

"Alright, Dad. Way to go."

David took a bow and gave the toy a soft flip to Nathan.

"You boys keep going. The old guy needs a break."

He walked over to the water fountain and took several small sips. Luckily, the water wasn't too cold since that last missing tooth was erupting. There was an older man, in his early sixties or so, on the nearest bench and David approached.

"Do you mind if I share the bench."

"Not a'tall. Handsome boys you've got. No need to guess if they're brothers."

"Thanks. They're great kids. I'm very proud of them."

"Divorced, I guess."

"Pretty obvious, huh?"

"Hope you don't mind that I mentioned it. Some folk are more sensitive than others. I see a lot of that."

"Are you a counselor of some sort?"

He cackled a bit. "Yeah, of some sort."

He reached out and offered his hand. "Michael Sullivan, Mack to those who don't owe me money. I've tended bar at the 'Derry Tap' on Elm for near thirty-five years now. I think that should qualify me for a Ph.D., don't you think?"

"David Stein. I'm a graphic artist. Thirty-five years listening to people's complaints and worries? Cleaning up after their spills and, I imagine, worse? That should qualify you for sainthood."

Mack found that raucously funny. Nathan and Aaron looked over, but David waved them off.

"I don't think there are many who would see Mack Sullivan and think saint." He wiped his eyes on a crisp linen handkerchief.