Chapter 4

David sat at his desk, carefully and methodically filling a box with more than a decade's worth of personal effects. Pictures of his sons followed his coffee mug and trinkets made in kindergarten.

"Advanced Graphics, David Stein speaking," he said, automatically answering the phone.

"Good afternoon, David. It's Bob McCarthy. How are my packaging changes going? When do you think they'll be ready?"

"Oh. Good afternoon, Mr. McCarthy. I'd better switch you over to Dennis about the schedule. I'm not going to be handling that."

"Why not? You know I don't want anyone else handling my account."

"I'm not ... I've ... I'm leaving the company."

"Where are you going to be working?"

"That's kind of up in the air."

Bob paused. His voice, which had been getting louder and sharper, softened.

"David? Were you fired?"

"Yeah. It's a little embarrassing."

"Nonsense! I want to talk with you. Meet me for coffee tomorrow morning. Can you make 8:30 at the Arcadia Diner?"

"Sure. I can do that. Should I transfer you to Dennis?"

"No, I'll talk to him another time. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

After hanging up, David continued filling the box.

David felt like an errant child standing in the grade school office and felt foolish doing so. Waiting for the secretary to acknowledge him, he mused, 'I wonder what a psychiatrist would say about it?'

"May I help you?"

"Yes, please. I'm David Stein. Nathan and Aaron are my sons."

"May I see your driver's license? You must appreciate that we can't just take anyone's word."

"I understand, but I'm saddened by the change in the past twenty years."

"We all are. May I assume that you're here regarding Aaron's absence? Can you tell me what the situation is?"

"Aaron fell getting out of the car this morning and broke his arm."

"Oh, my! Is he alright?"

"He has a cast on his arm and is in a bit of pain, but aside from that, he's fine. He'll probably be in tomorrow to collect autographs and his 15 minutes of fame."

"Well, if you see him before tomorrow, please wish him a speedy recovery. Make sure your wife sends in a note, please."

"I shall. I'm also here to pick up Nathan. I don't think he even knows about Aaron yet. Where should I wait to make sure I see him?"

"You timed it well. Dismissal is in five minutes. I'll tell his teacher to have him come to the office on his way out. We've prepared Aaron's homework for him. Why don't you take it now."

"Thanks so much."

He waited several minutes. Although he felt conspicuous, as though he could physically feel the stares of the teachers, students and staff passing through the office, he no longer felt like a 10 year old who'd been caught throwing spitballs. Finally, Nathan arrived.

"Dad! What are you doing here?"

"I'm picking you up today. Do you have all your stuff?"

"Yeah. What's going on?"

"Let's walk. I'll tell you on the way."

David related the day's events to Nathan as they walked and then rode.

Aaron was too heavy for Abby to carry, so she half guided and half dragged him into the house. The doctor had warned her against feeding him, so she helped him straight to bed. Perversely, he was awakening a bit.

After helping him into pajamas, she checked his fingernails for poor circulation, and tucked him in to sleep off the painkiller. She kissed his forehead and hugged him.

Aaron returned the hug. "I'm kind of glad I broke my arm," he whispered.

"Why in the world would you want that?"

"Because you and Dad were sitting together and not yelling, and you're not crying after talking to him, and we're all going to have supper together."

Abby didn't know whether to blush or stare with her mouth agape, so she did both. She finally came to her senses and, after quietly wishing him a good nap, stood to leave the room.

She paused in the doorway and looked back at a typical young boy's bedroom. It was a little unkempt with a few posters of sports stars on the walls beside family pictures. There were schoolbooks and fun books, and some religious texts as well. Computers and video games were kept in the public areas.

She beheld the little man she'd thought was a boy lying in his bed. A slight smile flashed across his face as he settled in to complete his interrupted slumber.

'Here I thought I hid it all so well, and I didn't fool them a bit, ' she reflected. 'If Aaron knows a little, then Nathan must know a lot. Oh, dear. I'd better start supper and decide what to say to David.'

When they arrived, Nathan, as usual, went to the kitchen to greet his mother. David trailed behind. After hugging his mother, he opened the refrigerator and grabbed a snack, all the while chatting with her. He mostly wanted to know how Aaron fell, since he had the rest of the story from his father. Satisfied with the answers, he went to his room to start his homework.

David had held back, but smiled when he said hello to Abby. At first, it had felt a little queer, like he was spying on someone. That eased after a short while and a warm feeling of normality replaced it. He smiled again as mother and son interacted, and gave Nathan a hug as his son left the kitchen.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" David asked.

"Not really. I've got everything under control. Maybe you could set the table in a while. Aaron can't right now and I don't want to dump all his chores on Nathan. I'll let him try in a week or so when he's had some practice. Sit and relax for a spell. I'll call you when I need you."

David said, "OK," walked through to the family room, and leaned back in his favorite chair. He closed his eyes and let the thoughts flow.

'I can't believe how ordinary this feels. I should feel anger, but I don't.

'I have to start looking for work tomorrow. Can I file for unemployment? How do I find out?

'What does Bob McCarthy want to talk about? He's too small to have a design department. Maybe he can get me an introduction to another graphics house. We've always gotten along.

'I can't believe Abby asked me to supper. I suppose she wanted to do something nice for Aaron, but I really can't believe how she leaned into me. She doesn't like me. It just doesn't make sense.

'I can accept that she stopped loving me; I'm not the greatest guy in the world. These things happen, but I thought she didn't even like me anymore. But you don't shove your tits into someone you dislike.

'If she still likes me, even if she doesn't love me, why divorce me and not even look for a replacement?

'My father was right. Women are a different species.'

With that, he drifted off to sleep.

Abby had sent David away to continue her much needed think-time. She had to come to grips with her suddenly overturned life. David was acting like David again, the David she grew up with and with whom she fell in love.

She had suffered quietly as David buried himself in his work. Her anger and anguish grew as his entire personality changed. He closed himself off, and she reckoned that there was little difference between him not being in the house and being in it. Divorced, she wouldn't find her love constantly mocked.

'This is what I've wanted all these years, what I've desired quietly. Now that it's here, I need to be sure. Was that love just a dream to hold onto? Should I make it reality? We've been apart for years now. Who can tell what changes have happened since I pushed him out of the house.'

Abby stopped peeling the potato. Her eyes lost focus for a moment and then closed.

'Since ... I ... Pushed ... Pushed ... Pushed ... Him ... Out. I pushed him out. I ... Pushed him out.

'I was looking out for myself, seeing only through my eyes. What about David? Oh, my God. You're supposed to rely on each other. You're supposed to care about your lover more than you care about yourself. He never stopped, not in his way. Me. I stopped. I ... stopped loving David. What else could it be? How much more selfish could I be?'

Her mind was awhirl and one thought ran into the next.

'Oh, my God. What must he think? What must he think about me? He must hate me. He must think I'm the biggest bitch this side of the Mississippi; hell, both sides. I can't just go to him and pick up where we left off. How can I just carry on like nothing happened? How can I be sure I'm still the right girl for him?'

Remorse set in and tears began to run down Abby's cheeks. This time, however, the tears were for David, not for herself. Through her tears, she finished preparing supper.

It was a considerably sobered Abby who sat at the supper table, despite this being the first meal the four had shared in years. She had gone into the family room and found David asleep in his recliner. With a shaky voice she called his name to awaken him. She couldn't bear to touch him, couldn't even look him in the eye.

"David. David. If you wouldn't mind, would you please set the table and get the boys?"

"Sure. I'd love to."

David was completely unaware of Abby's change of mood while he went about his tasks.

The supper conversation swirled around Abby, but never really touched her. She answered with monosyllables when she realized something was directed toward her. She passed things when asked, and helped Aaron cut his food. All the while she frantically anticipated what she could possibly say to her ex-husband.

When told that David was out of a job, Aaron's first thought was, "Does that mean you're going to be around here more?"

Abby froze and stared wide-eyed. David answered, "Well, sport. Maybe a little, but not much more. I still have my own apartment to take care of and I have to find another job pretty quickly so you don't starve to death."

"Am I going to school tomorrow?"

Abby handled that one. "As long as you can get yourself ready for bed tonight by yourself and you're not running a fever in the morning, you can go."

"Cool. I can hardly wait for recess."

A thought occurred to David and he turned to lecture his younger son.

"Aaron, I don't want you running at all tomorrow. You need to learn to balance yourself, what with not being able to swing your arm and with the extra weight. Even when you figure it out, I don't want you running full out. If you trip you won't be able to protect your face."

"Yeah. If you fall and break your other arm," Nathan broke in, "I'm not gonna be the one to wipe your butt."

"Thank you for volunteering to clean up after supper," ordered David.

David sent Abby away from the kitchen while he and Nathan cleaned up. Abby spent that time helping Aaron with his homework. When that was finished, mother and son tried to figure out how he was going to get dressed and undressed, how to wash up a little and how to brush his teeth. Ready for bed, Aaron called downstairs to get his father to tuck him in.

David had already checked over Nathan's homework and the tween-ager was chatting with friends online. Still waiting, David had picked up the newspaper and was idly reading. When called, he put it down and went to his son.

Abby sat and flipped through the same section of the paper, paying even less attention than David had.

"Nathan," she called to get his attention, "I need a favor. When your father comes back down, please excuse yourself and say goodnight."

Hearing the tension in her voice he said, "Sure, Mom." He gave her a smile and turned back to the screen.

Abby went back to not reading the paper until she heard the firm tread of David's feet on the steps. Nathan had also heard it and began to swiftly sign-off. As David entered the family room, Nathan stood and gave his father a hug.

"Good night, Dad. Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Perhaps. If you don't see me, why don't you call me after supper. We'll talk for a little while. Good night." He returned the hug. Mother and father listened to their first-born scurry up the stairs.

When she'd invited David for supper, just hours earlier, life had been simple. She had slid her breasts across her only lover's chest and he'd agreed to come over. She would curl up on his lap after supper and explain that since he was no longer ignoring his family, he should pack up his apartment and move back home and that would be that. Her family would be restored and life would be ideal.

Now, her future was cloudy as she saw how naively simplistic her plan had been. She was uncertain what to do. She wasn't even sure of her own motives and feelings; did she stop loving him three years ago or not? If not, why had she ... She didn't want to say it even to herself. The only thing she was certain of was that David was going to tell her off.