Chapter 2

"Just go out with him once," June urged. "What can it hurt? It's been three years since you threw David out. You need to go on with your life."

Abby perched on a stool at her kitchen island. Her neighbor, June Talbot, sat opposite her. The two women were emptying a coffee pot, one mug at a time. Abby's spacious kitchen was bright, in contrast to her mood.

"I know you're right, but I just can't. I'm not ready."

"If Carl isn't the right one, maybe Sam Ross is," she pushed on. "The point is, if you never start, you'll never find out."

Abby looked at her friend wearily. The Talbots had bought the house across the driveway three months after the Steins had moved into theirs. Though June was a good ten years older, the two women had quickly become as thick as thieves. They were a study in opposites. Where Abby was shorter and well-rounded, June was tall and reedy. Abby was dark while June was ash blonde. Both shared a wicked sense of humor and an insatiable curiosity about the lives of their friends and acquaintances.

David and Lou Talbot hadn't jelled well, mostly because David was so infrequently available.

"I don't really want to find someone else now. I'm busy with the boys. When they're out of the house, maybe then I'll look for someone."

"That's ten years from now, Abby. You deserve to be happy, too, you know. Your kids need a man they can rely on around the house. I can look at you and tell that David canceled on the boys again yesterday. Am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right," Abby sighed.

"I can't believe you're still hoping David will straighten up. Be realistic. He's a workaholic. He always was and he always will be."

Abby cocked her head. "I forget sometimes that you never knew him when we were young. David was my first crush; I only dated three boys. I wouldn't have dated the others at all, except it took until almost the end of high school for David to ask me out.

"The problem was that he discovered girls pretty late. But once he noticed that I had breasts, I dumped the guy I was seeing and sank my claws into him. I had no regrets for over fifteen years. I still don't really regret it, despite the divorce."

"How could you not regret a husband who never even knew you were there?"

"David wasn't always like that. He used to joke around all the time. There wasn't a pun he didn't like. His mind works so fast."

"David? Think fast?"

"That's what I mean. David isn't slow. When he's being serious, he's very deliberate. He thinks before he talks. When he's relaxed and being funny, it's like a laser show. You've never seen him relaxed. In those days, we'd go for walks every night, have casual dinner parties with other couples every week or so. He was fun. Once, he complained that I bought catsup instead of ketchup. He made like he was mortally offended for weeks. It doesn't sound funny when I say it, but it was his whole delivery. God, that was hilarious."

"So what changed?"

"I blame myself partially. We both had college loans. We were paying them off, even prepaying them despite raising two infants and all those costs. Then I saw the ad for this house. It was a bargain, and had everything we were looking for. We were in a two bedroom apartment then. Aaron was just a baby, and it was already a tight squeeze. I calculated that, if we lived simply, we would be able to just afford it. Of course, that was way overoptimistic.

"With every additional expense, David became more and more serious. He refused to let me work while the kids were home. He took on more and more work and stayed in the office later and later. His whole life began to revolve around earning more money, supporting the family. That's the part you saw."

"Couldn't he see that there's more to life than things?" June interrupted. "Surely you tried to change him."

Abby was becoming increasingly agitated.

"Tried? I begged. I did everything I could. I spent practically nothing on myself, but David would. The carpets are the same ones as when we bought the house. Have you ever seen us take a vacation? I could control those. For other things, David overrode my protests and saw that the boys and I got the best. I couldn't make him see that we would rather have him than a baseball glove or a new coat.

"I still can't get through to him. I've tried, literally, a thousand times. Every day, every week until the divorce and, at least twice a week since then. He won't listen. He just won't listen."

"It should be better now."

"I thought it would be better after I asked for the divorce. I thought ... I hoped he would see that we were slipping apart and fight to keep us together. It didn't work. He didn't get it. He still doesn't get it.

"We can talk civilly about the boys in general, but as soon as I say that he needs to do this or that, things get heated. I can tell him what needs doing in the house, but I have to wait until he can pull himself away from the damn job.

"We quarreled when I told him I could work part-time now that both boys are in school. He put up such a fuss that it upset the boys and I gave it up. Now he works even harder to pay for his own apartment and the house. What a disaster I've created."

"You didn't create it. Or at least, you didn't do it alone. Anyway, you're single now. He doesn't control you. You can do as you please. You really need to move on. Let Sam Ross take you out for coffee."

"Oh, June. My head keeps telling me to move on, but my heart digs in its heels. I want my David, but this David isn't the man I fell in love with." Abby softly wept.

Quiet reigned in the kitchen, save for the occasional sniffle. Finally June squeezed Abby's hand. "I'm sorry I pushed so hard and upset you. For all the time we spent talking since the divorce, I never quite understood what you saw in David. Honestly, I still don't. But I won't push men on you anymore. Well, not for a while at least. I'd better go before I put my foot in my mouth again. Don't forget you have that planning meeting for the United Charities this morning. How is it that you can sit on the board there without David shouting, but not hold a job?"

"It's some sort of disconnect in David's mind. He doesn't really know what I do there and since there's no paycheck..." Abby finished her thought with a shrug.

"Call me if you want to talk some more. If not, I'll see you for coffee tomorrow. Come over when the boys leave for school."

She gave her friend a quick hug and let herself out, leaving Abby staring at her cooling mug.

"Hurry up, slowpoke," Aaron called to his brother. School had let out ten minutes ago and Nathan was still talking to his friends. "We're gonna be late."

Nathan looked at his watch. "Gotta go, guys. I'll see you tomorrow."

He jogged over to his younger brother; two years separated him from the third-grader. "Let's go."

The two were among the handful of students who walked to school. The distance wasn't far, a touch over a half mile, and the traffic moderate. While Abby could have easily joined one of the carpools or just run them back and forth herself, she and David had long ago decided the experience would be good for their sons. It would give them a taste of independence and responsibility.

"I'll tell Mom I made us late if she says something."

"Don't worry, Nathan. I'll take my lumps, too."

"Athos"

"Porthos"

"All for one and one for all," they yelled together and laughed.

They walked on and Aaron quieted.

"Nathan, do you think..."

"You ask me the same darn question at least twice a week. I don't know if they'll ever get back together and I'm tired of hoping. Have you seen anything change?"

"No, but..."

"They hardly ever talk to each other, and half the time they do, they end up yelling and Mom cries. It's never going to happen unless they can spend time together when they're not fighting."

"Tommy Evers' parents are getting divorced. He thinks it's his fault."

"Tommy Evers is an idiot."

Aaron turned to his brother and his voice got soft. "Sometimes I think I'm the reason Mom and Dad aren't together."

Nathan punched his brother in the shoulder, hard.

"Don't you ever, ever say that," he shouted. "It's not your fault and it's not mine. It's theirs. We just get to deal with it."

"That hurt." the younger boy whined, rubbing his shoulder where his brother had hit him.

"Good. Maybe it'll help you remember."

"Well, how do you know I'm wrong?"

"If you made them get divorced, they'd yell at you and blame you whenever they got mad, and they don't do that. Whatever happened is because of them."

They resumed walking as Aaron continued to rub his shoulder.

"I pray every day they'll get back together."

"Just keep praying. And don't tell Mom I punched you. She'll want to know why and she'll get all sad again and cry when you tell her."

"I won't tell, but don't punch me anymore."

"Don't listen to Tommy Evers and I won't punch you."

"OK. Was Mrs. Milligan this tough when you had her?"

"She's tough, alright, but she just wants you to push yourself. She hates when you just do enough to get by. Besides, it's getting near the end of the year and she needs to make sure she covers the whole book. You'll be fine."

The boys were nearly home by this time and raced into the house to greet their mother.

Abby let herself into June's kitchen the next morning.

"When is Lou going to let you remodel this room? I thought you talked him into it."

"I talked him into conceding the work needed to be done. Now I have to talk him into getting quotes from contractors. Then I can talk him into actually letting them do the work. I love him dearly, but he is so slow that sometimes I want to throttle him. You sound more like yourself this morning."

"Thanks, I feel more like myself. It's just that sometimes after I talk to David it seems to come crashing down all over again."

"Well then, let's change the subject. How was your meeting yesterday?"

"We got a lot done. I think we'll be able to balance the budget without cutting out any more programs."

"That's good news. But why do I think there's more there?"

"I just wish I could do what I'm supposed to do without getting hassled all the time."

"Hassled or harassed?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, ho. This sounds juicy. Give it up; you owe me. I told you all about Bob and Sandy and the so-called vacation. It's pay-up time."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Like that's going to work. Come on now. Spit it out. Who put the moves on you? Tony Oricci?"

Abby sat silently, avoiding June's gaze.

"Johnny Strong?"

Abby nodded her head.

"Ooh, doesn't all their money belong to his wife? He's pushing his luck. Wait. I know that look, there's more, isn't there? Two guys in one morning? No wonder you're pissed off. Admit it. Come on, who else?"

Abby blushed and mumbled something.

"It doesn't count if I can't hear you."

Abby mumbled again, barely louder than the first time.

"You'll have to do better than that."

"Alright," Abby all but shouted. "Monica DeVries."

"No!" June stared at her confidante in shock. Soon, her mouth turned upward and she began to chuckle. By the time the chuckle turned into full-fledged guffaws, Abby had joined her laughter.

After they wound down Abby took June's hand. "I can always count on you to get me out of a rotten mood. Thanks."

"Think nothing of it. Monica DeVries, huh? Who'd have thought it? Maybe you can introduce Monica to Kristin Strong?"

That set the both of them off again.

David's apartment was too small for him to keep his boys overnight. When he first separated from Abby, he would meet them for Saturday morning services and keep them until dinner time. Months and months ago that had fallen to the demands of keeping up with his work. Sundays until 4:00 remained his sole time to spend with Nathan and Aaron. Rarely did he miss those precious days. He knew that Abby would give him more time with them, but between his work and their school and homework, he took only those priceless hours.

This Sunday, he picked up his sons at 8:00 sharp. They were, as usual, waiting at the front door as he pulled into the driveway. They disappeared momentarily to kiss their mother goodbye, then reappeared, racing each other across the lawn. They jumped into the car, and father and sons exchanged warm hugs and kisses. It was Aaron's turn to ride shotgun, and he buckled into the front seat. The boys were practically buzzing with energy. If not for the seatbelts, they'd have been bouncing about the car.

Having spoken to other divorced men, David was thankful for the relaxed conditions. He'd heard some real horror stories and was grateful Abby didn't pull any tricks with visitation. He also appreciated that he didn't have to face his ex-wife every week in front of the boys. They could talk peaceably for brief periods, but eventually, one would say something to set off the other. The kids didn't need to see and hear that.

He looked at his boys with love and pride. Nathan was a handsome boy of ten, bright and friendly. He had a vivid imagination and was writing fiction at an eighth grade level according to his teacher. Aaron was eight and seemed to have inherited David's artistic predilections.

The boys inherited the best facial features of their parents. They had David's firm jaw and cheekbones and Abby's eyes, long lashed, round, and almost too large for the face. David had more than once joked that they were too poor to afford more than one face for their children. Abby had punched his arm the time he accused her of fooling around with the Xerox repairman. Of course, he'd caught her repeating the joke to a friend later that day.

Aaron seemed to have Abby's shorter than average frame. Her lush, buxom figure would manifest itself in Aaron as either stocky or solid depending on what condition he kept himself in. Nathan had David's slender build, though David had left slender behind thirty pounds ago.

David used his Sundays to keep in touch with his sons' lives as best he could. Though he loved them dearly, his primary responsibility was to keep them fed, shod, and protected from the elements. He was happy with how Abby had raised them and could not, he felt, have done anything to make it better.

"I had a spelling test and math quiz this week," Aaron reported. "I got two A minuses."

"We had a big test on electricity and magnetism. I aced it," Nathan added.

"Wonderful, guys. That's showing them. What else happened?"

Nathan broached what he knew was a sensitive subject. "We had that ball game. We both played a little, but neither of us did anything important."

"I'm sorry I had to miss that, boys. I had a doctor's appointment and got way behind in my work. I'll try real hard to make the next one."

"We know, Dad," Nathan said, knowing it would probably not happen, but refusing to abandon hope.

"Cool looking glasses. I like them."

"Thanks, Aaron."

As they drove on, the boys chattered and chatted, and filled in the details from their earlier sketchy reports. The ball game, grades, friends and bullies were described. David mentioned a few of the projects he was working on that he knew the boys would see in the store or on billboards.

This Sunday was spent at the zoo and playing Frisbee in the park. Walking from exhibit to exhibit, David noticed how many other groups consisted of just one parent and some children. The sight saddened him, and he was further saddened as he realized that he was part of that pack.

The stench drove them from the big cats sooner than they'd have liked. None of them cared much for the snakes, but Nathan would have stayed with the penguins all day. Much as David enjoyed their antics, eventually he dragged them onward.

If the penguins were good for a day, the chimps could keep them laughing for a month. They seemed like little children at times and like grumpy old men a minute later.

Nathan noticed one chimp seemingly using a stick to draw, using manure as his medium. Both boys were giggling and Nathan told his brother, "That looks like you when you draw."

David was not amused. He reached over and, with a twist of the wrist, rapped his thumb knuckle atop Nathan's head.

"Oww!" Nathan's yelp was mostly from surprise. Knowing how his father felt about insulting family members, it shouldn't have been.

"You don't talk like that about your brother."

"But it was funny."

"It doesn't matter if it was funny or not. There are 6 and a half billion people on this planet and there are only—"

Both boys interrupted and finished David's line for him in unison, "—four you can truly count on, and your brother is one of them."

David stared at his sons and nodded his head. "If you know it well enough to quote it, why don't you do it all the time? It may have been funny, but comments like that can become a habit and lead to hard feelings. I know you're good kids, probably the best I know, but this is really important. You have to keep working at it. OK?"