Chapter 7

Present – Jack – Truth Network – Washington D.C.

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out where the hell Banzai could be, because Megan's threat shook the hell out of me. I love Masha and would never cheat on her, not even if I had a chance to nail Mira. And I think Masha knows this, but she is still a woman and women can be unpredictable. I remember Mira at the spook school and add – dangerous!

The phone rings and interrupts my thoughts. I answer it and say, "Hello, this is Jack."

Liz replies, "Jack, this is important as hell."

I almost laugh because everything with Liz is 'important as hell' and quip, "What happened, did you break a nail?"

She yells at me, "Jack, now is not the time to be a pain in the ass. We need to change our plans about the twins because..." There's a long pause, I hear Liz start to cry as she comes back on and says, "Mira's sister Ira is dead!"

I sit bolt upright in my chair and yell, "What the hell happened!"

Liz explains everything that happened and then orders, "Look, whatever plans you guys have about an intervention for the twins needs to be scrapped. Mira's going to need a hell of a lot of love and support or she won't survive."

I start thinking about the time I spent at the spook school with Mira, realize Liz is more than correct, start coming up with a plan to help Mira and respond, "Don't worry Liz, I'm the only one here right now but I'll call a meeting and get everyone else on board."

Liz asks, "That reminds me, where the hell is Jens? I've been trying to call her."

I delight in describing Jens' wild night and her day in court, hoping it will cheer Liz and then finish by saying, "She and Megan are out celebrating their victory."

It's shocking when the information further agitates Liz and she yells at me, "I've had my fill of Jens' teenage angst bullshit. She needs to get her head out of her ass because she has bigger problems coming her way."

This time I know better than to laugh at Liz as I question, "Bigger problems than Ira dying?"

She answers, "Jack, Mira and Ira's death will be my and Megan's problem to deal with. Make sure you let everyone know and they should just be non-confrontational and supportive with Mira. However Jens needs to be prepared for these two teenage 'sisters' of Ben's. They are manipulative little bitches and are going to be a huge pain in the ass."

Damn! When it rains it pours and in this case it's pouring problems. I respond, "Okay Liz, I think I know where Megan and Jens are so I will call the place and get them back here ASAP. We were up half the night with Jens' fiasco so I think the rest of the team in crashed at the extended stay hotel. I'll give them a call and get then here too. What's your estimated arrival time?"

Liz replies, "We should arrive in three hours. When you get in contact with Megan, please have her call me so we can get started on working on a treatment plan for Mira. By the way, we found that Mira has a newly found brother, Alexi, who should also be treated. Make sure you send two cars for us because I sure as hell don't want any of us around Ben's two 'sisters' right now."

That last statement seems strange so I ask, "Liz are those two girls really that bad?"

She snaps at me, "No, they are even worse. They knocked my ass out and gave me a hell of a concussion."

I'm glad as hell when she hangs up the phone because she's one pissed off bitch and I'm thankful that my loving wife Masha is never that way. I organize my thoughts, pick up the phone and place a call.

I try calling Jens' and Megan's phones but I don't get an answer from either one. However I have a good idea where they went so I place another call...

Gunny answers the phone and it sounds like things are going full bore at the bar already. I say, "Gunny you sorry old bastard, how are you doing?"

He replies, "Damn Jack who you calling and old bastard! I'd love to chat but I'm busy as hell here cleaning things up."

I get right to my job and ask, "Hey have you seen Jennifer Donaldson lately?"

Gunny swears up a storm before answering, "God damn yes I saw her! I just threw her, her even crazier girlfriend and a couple friends of theirs out of here on their asses. You wouldn't believe what those two crazy broads did!!!"

Present – Megan – Trip to Gunny's Bar – Washington D.C.

Jens wants to 'blow off some steam' after her ordeal and I can think of no better way to get her to relax so I can talk to her about this whole teenage bullshit of hers. So I agree to go along with her.

Jen says she knows just the place, so we grab a cab and the driver asks, "Where to ladies?"

Jens replies, "Take me someplace where I can get a taser and then Gunny's bar!"

The cab driver questions our judgment and comments, "The taser is no problem, but are you sure you two ladies want to go Gunny's? It's a Marine bar."

Jens laughs and says, "Hell yes! I'm a Marine, so I'll be right at home."

I begin to wonder if this was such a good idea after all...

We pull up in front of a police supply store. Jens asks as she opens the door, "Please wait here for us - we will only be a few minutes. Megs, why don't you come in and we'll get you a taser too?" It seems like a good idea - a nice non-lethal option instead of just shooting someone - so I let her drag me along...

We fly up to the counter and Jens rudely demands, "Do you have any tasers?"

The shopkeeper is checking Jens out, ignores her rude behavior and says, "Yes we have many choices, is this for your own personal protection?"

She giggles and answers, "Heck no! If anyone bothers me I just kick their butts. It's a welcome home gift for my fiancé."

He gives us a funny look and I try to explain Jens' comment, "Don't mind my friend; yes, it's for our personal protection."

He shows us a selection of tasers and Jens asks, "Is there any way to get one with more power or to increase the power on one of these. You know like Tim the 'Toolman' Taylor would say, Ur, ur, ur, moooore power!"

The shop keeper laughs at Jens impression and answers, "We are limited by law as to how powerful these are." He motions us closer and whispers, "But I've heard there are places on the Internet with instructions to increase the power. Just remember these pack a pretty good punch and if you crank them up too high it can cause cardiac arrest."

Jens laughs, "You're fricken kidding me! I was tased three times in the last twenty-four hours and I thought it was sort of fun. Anyway give me two tasers, one for me and one for my best friend."

The shopkeeper asks, "Would you like some extra cartridges and batteries for it?"

Jens thinks and says, "Yeah please give me ten cartridges for each one. And what sort of batteries does it use?"

He shakes his head and I'm sure he's wondering just what the hell we're going to do with all these taser cartridges (I have the same concern). But he knows better than to complain and lose a sale so he says, "It uses eight AA batteries."

Jens questions, "Now if I pull the trigger again, it shocks my fian ... I mean the person again, is that right?"

He smiles at her and responds, "That's right, initially the M-twenty-six-c taser fires a five second charge, but should your assailant not go down, you pull the trigger and continue to hold it. It will continue to shock them until the batteries are depleted."

Jens giggles and says, "Good, give me oh ... forty batteries."

I can almost see the cash register going off in this guy's head as he takes out one of the tasers; shows us how to load the batteries and the cartridge; how the red light on the back tells us if the batteries are charged; and adds, "Now the effective range of this is only fifteen feet, so make sure you hold the taser level, not sideways like the stupid gang bangers hold their guns, because the top probe impacts at point of aim and the bottom probe is lower by about one foot for every seven feet of distance."

Jens looks at the taser and practices pointing it around the store then asks, "So what's the purpose of the RJ-forty-five data port on the back on the taser? Can I program it for more power?"

He laughs and explains, "No that's so you can download a record of when it was fired."

She looks disappointed, loads up my taser with a battery and cartridge, hands it to me and says, "Here Megs, put this in your purse."

I comply as Jens pays the shopkeeper. We head out to the cab, jump in the back seat and Jens orders, "To Gunny's Jeeves!" We both giggle, but the cab driver doesn't understand the joke.

Present – Jens – Trip to Gunny's Bar – Washington D.C.

It is s-o-o-o-o much fun buying the tasers: Megs' and the shopkeeper's eyes bulged out of their head about half the time. Oh I know Megs has concerns that I'm going a little crazy about Ben (I'm sure as heck glad she hasn't seen my room otherwise she'd be certain I'm crazy) but the tasers might serve a purpose. They might keep me from having to really shoot and wound my runaway fiancé once I find him. It would really suck if I had to shoot him because nothing ruins a honeymoon more than a gunshot wound!

I haven't been to Gunny's – well, since the last time Liz and I got in the huge fight with Ben's old skanky girlfriend bitch Susan. I whipped her ass and got chased out of the place by the cops and Gunny. Hey, it wasn't my fault! She tried to take my man and got her ass kicked for her effort. I was going to call Maria and make this a girl's afternoon out, but she and Linus left together, and while it was temping as hell to bother them, I figure that Linus and Maria can use the entertainment. So it's just Megs and me...

The cab driver drops us off. I pay and give him a great tip. He hands me his card and says, "You just give me a call if you ever need a ride."

Megs looks at the bar, gives me the evil eye and asks with uncertainty, "So, are we going to be safe in here?"

I laugh and explain, "Megs there's probably not a safer bar in the city for two unaccompanied girls. Oh the men will probably try to flirt us up some, that is until they find out who I am - then they will focus on you. But nothing will happen here unless you want it to happen."

We walk in the door and there's Gunny standing at the bar. He looks exactly the same as the last time I saw him. He sees me and yells, "SEMPER FI!"

Megs almost jumps out of her stockings as I yell back, "ORRAAAHHH!"

Gunny limps over. What is left of his face looks like leather that has cracked from being in the sun too long. One eye is missing but the other gleams. He says in his lisp, "Son-of-a-bitch, if you aren't a sight for a sore old eye. How the hell are you Sergeant Donaldson? Are you still looking for that son-of-a-bitch fiancé of yours?"

I smile at him, kiss him on the cheek and answer, "Hell yes I'm still looking for him Gunny. He's one hard bastard to find! But when I find him, I'm going to teach him a lesson or two for running away from me!" I pull my taser out and wave it in the air.

Gunny cackles and says, "Well for leaving you in the lurch he sure needs his ass kicked!"

The bell rings, interrupting everything, the Marines start barking like dogs and down their shots. I laugh and say, "Shoot Gunny we missed that one."

He sees Megs and asks, "Now just who is this SYT you have with you?"

I respond, "Gunny this is my oldest and dearest friend Megan. It's her first time here and she's a little scared."

He laughs, gives Megs the one eye once over and says, "Shit little lady, nothing much to be afraid of in here. We old devil-dogs don't bite too hard."

I am concerned Megs is going to bolt, but she steps right up to Gunny kisses him on the cheek, whispers something in his ear and for the first time ever, I see Gunny blush! I'm not sure what Megs said to him, but I know I need to rescue Gunny so I toss him some money and say, "Gunny the next round is on Megan."

He stands up and announces, "The next round is on this SYT who's here with Sergeant Donaldson. Now she's a civi and this is her first time here; if you don't treat her with respect, I'll kick your ass and throw you out of my bar!"

The Marines began to clap and cheer. A couple of them, including Gunny, even give Megs a few wolf-whistles. I grab her hand as we head towards a table and ask, "Just what did you say to Gunny to make him blush?"

Present – Megan – Gunny's Bar – Washington D.C.

At first I have concerns about this place, but after Jens' and Gunny's assurances, I know I could pass out drunk here and not be molested (unlike most bars in D.C.) so I relax, enjoy myself and answer Jens' question, "I told Gunny while he might not bite, I love to nibble!"

The waitress brings us some sort of shots, sits them in front of us. Jens giggles at my answer, gets ready to say something but the bell rings and everyone including myself begin to bark and we down our shots! Whatever it is, it sure as hell isn't the wine I like to drink! It burns all the way to my stomach and then feels like fireworks going off in my belly. My eyes are watering as I complain, "What the hell did I just drink?"

Jens laughs, "I'll have to remember that line and try it sometime. Oh that, it was the cheapest bourbon money can buy."

Jens says, "Hang on a second and I'll be right back."