Chapter 53

Flashback – Jack – Undisclosed location

I was amazed at the transformation to the truck, examined it at length, laughed and said, "Well doctor Frankenstein, you certainly have created a monster."

Banzai laughed, "Thanks Jack that's a great name for her: She'll be our Frankentruck! Now jump in and let's go blow something up."

When I took my seat and saw the seatbelts Banzai rigged up, I should have known what was coming. He looked at me, grinned and announced, "Buckle up tight Jack, we're going for a ride."

My initial thought was 'oh hell no!!!'

I was shocked when Banzai reached down, came up with a cup of coffee and handed it to me. I said, "Thanks, I could use a shot of caffeine right about now."

I placed my coffee on the dash but Banzai warned, "Jack, you might want to hold onto that cup or at least put it in the holder."

I looked at him and replied, "Come on Banzai, this is the truck not a jeep."

As he gave me that shit-eating grin, I remembered what the truck now looked like and fought like hell to grab the cup. I was just in time because... Holy shit! Banzai started the truck, floored it and the fucking engine sounded like a swarm of those giant bees on The Lost World! And this truck certainly didn't lumber anymore! I was pressed back into my seat and spilled the hell out of my coffee.

We flew (literally) out of the ravine, landed like a ton of bricks, bounced for about fifteen feet and I spilled the rest of my coffee in my lap. I swore, "Dammit to hell, that's hot!"

Banzai laughed, "Jack since you made a mess in my Frankentruck you get to fucking clean it up."

I realized the coffee was just a ruse and complained, "Like hell I will, you planned this."

He laughed, we hit a big assed bump, launched into the air and Banzai whooped, "Now that was fun!"

We slammed into the ground, again bounced like hell and I was sure we were going to tip over.

I yelled over the din of the engine, "Just what the fuck did you do to this truck?"

Banzai grinned, reached over, pulled a choke looking knob on the dash and it was like day and night: The truck was almost silent. He replied, "Sorry Jack, I couldn't hear you. Now that we're in stealth mode what did you say?"

I yelled, "Just what the fuck did you do to this truck?"

He grimaced as if in pain, "Damn Jack, you don't have to yell! Oh I made a few improvements in her. Don't you love our Frankentruck?"

I thought, a few improvements my ass! The transformation in this truck was a greater accomplishment than Dr. Frankenstein's movie experiment so I concluded, "Frankentruck my ass, we should call this Frankenmonster."

Banzai pushed the knob back in, the noise inside the cab became deafening but I still heard him laugh and yell, "She's alive! She's alive!"

I held on for dear life and realized that ... Oh Hell not again!!!

Flashback – Ben – Undisclosed location

Hell, let Jack complain all he wanted. He killed my GAZ and now he could pay the piper. There was no way in hell I was going to ride around in this country in that slow-assed truck. Shit the tanks would have outrun us in that old piece of shit.

The first thing I did was lighten the hell out of our Frankentruck by removing any unnecessary weight. Then I went to work on the engine: It was amazing what this engine could do if all the crap was removed (like the governor). I also cranked up the injection pump so it was kicking the maximum amount of fuel into each cylinder. Now when I floored it she blew black coal out the exhaust. Ah yes, the exhaust - having a cutout pipe really let this engine breath! I did keep the muffler so we could sneak up on the targets as needed – that was my stealth mode mod.

Then I made a few more secret mods that were going to scare the hell out of Jack just like Frankenstein's monster scared the people of the village. If I was lucky, he might really crap his pants. Now that would be funny!

The only thing I couldn't fix was the damn suspension. Yeah, the Frankentruck was fast, but she wasn't the ballerina my GAZ was. When she hit the ground, she really hit the ground...

I put the Frankentruck in stealth mode and asked, "Okay Jack, where's our next target?"

He pointed and yelled, "Banzai, I think we're fucked!"

Flashback – Ira and Mira – Undisclosed location

Mira tilted her cranium while gazing at me and questioned, "Ira, do your auditory units detect a noise?"

I concentrated and expounded, "Yes Mira! Perhaps it is the arrival of the harlequins!"

We anxiously prepared our weapons! Then sadly determined it was not the harlequins, however we were in extreme danger.

I forcefully expounded, "Quick Mira, to our motorcycles!"

Flashback – Jack – Undisclosed location

We were fucked! I saw the motorcycles headed right at us followed by a formation of attack choppers and yelled, "Banzai, I think we're fucked!"

Banzai didn't seem too worried as he calmly ordered, "Jack get in the back, hook into the harness and ready the manpads while I do the voodoo I do so well."

I wasn't sure about this bullshit so I countered, "Banzai..."

He interrupted, "Jack get your ass back there now and ready the manpads. Don't worry I won't throw you out."

I hoped like hell he wouldn't because if the fall didn't kill me then Mira and Ira would!

Flashback – Ira and Mira – Undisclosed location

The lucky lady raised the corners of her lips toward us again. Through our superior operational skills we kept our motorcycles just ahead of the Soviet Hind helicopters. But I couldn't believe my ocular units: We were headed right toward the strangest looking vehicle I had ever perceived. It addition, I perceived that it locomotivated at an unprecedented velocity. The cacophony it produced even at this distance was frightening. It crested a large earthen rise and the wheels departed terra firma when something magical happened.

Flashback – Ben – Undisclosed location

I almost laughed my ass right off as we were headed right toward Mira and Ira who were having the hell chased out of them by four damned Hind MI-24 gunships. Well, now was a good as any time to see if my Frankentruck was worth a damn.

I finally got Jack into the back of the truck, made sure he was in his harness, and turned on my music player. We then hit a big-assed bump, caught the most air I ever had in my Frankentruck and I flipped a switch on the dash! Let's see if this mod worked...