Chapter 23

Flashback – Ben – Charlie's apartment – early morning day nine

A commotion in the living room woke me and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Charlie must have snuck out of her bedroom to visit 'me' on the couch - just like I knew she would. But I wasn't on the couch and now she and Jack were getting better acquainted...

Flashback – Jack – Charlie's apartment – early morning day nine

I was tired as hell, fell right to sleep and had a great dream about Mira. When I was rudely awakened by – shit maybe my dream was for real because someone was touching me in a very personal manner. I opened my eyes and foggily announced, "Mira, I knew sooner or later you'd be back for more."

Charlie (what the fuck – oh shit now I remembered I'm in her apartment with Banzai) yelled, "Jack, what the hell are you doing on the couch!"

I laughed, "It's more like I should ask you what your hands are doing?" Then I relearned an important lesson: Don't smart mouth a woman who has your family jewels in her hands.

After inflicting injury on me (and it wasn't even my fault this time) she stormed back to her bedroom! I swore I heard Banzai laughing from the floor of the second bedroom...

Flashback – Ira – Early morning day nine spook school

I must assist my sister in her search for her L.Cpl. Blaine! My ineptitude caused his untimely departure from her domicile. We hastened to Sgt. Reynolds room to interrogate him but L.Cpl. Blaine and Sgt. Reynolds had departed and we encountered only Kai who was restrained to the chair.

Mira discovered a note. Her face became ghastly white and her hands quivered as she opened and comprehended the note. She sharply inhaled, released the note from her hands and as it fluttered to the floor she slumped and released a heart-wrenching wail!

I queried, "Mira, what is the problem."

She refused to answer me, assumed a fetal position and continued to weep. I dropped to the floor beside her, unsuccessfully attempted to comfort her, acquired the note and read:

Mira,

Your sister Ira's arrival here and the actions she's taken have shown me that without meaning to, I have come between you and your sister. Being an only child, I always wished for a brother or a sister to share my life, and I can only imagine how much stronger that bond is because you two are twins.

I will not allow myself to continue to separate you and your sister. So I have moved out of your room and found another place to live until the school is over in a few more days. When those days are gone, we will both leave the school and life will return to normal between you and your sister.

I'm sorry Mira that I must break up with you; I will miss you and will always look fondly on both the good and trying times we shared together.

Ben

Flashback – Mira – Early morning day nine spook school

The ... the ... the dreaded note to complete all dreaded notes! My ... my ... my boyfriend had terminated our love, thereby inflicting a pain worse than death! And, we never even...

Oh cruel, cruel fate! To arrange such a circumstance whereby his honor required him to sacrifice his recently energetically emerging emotions toward me (a faint trace of his sweet last kiss lingered on my quivering lips) to preserve the sanctity of our sisterly bond! Fate, I hate thee and curse the day you were conceived!

There is no joy left in life, there is no reason remaining to live. Cruel fate, who rived my heart from my chest, terminate my life also!

Flashback – Ira – Early morning day nine spook school

This ... this ... this was a most inopportune and impertinent manner in which to terminate the relationship with my sister! I was astonishingly, amazingly, acrimoniously angered! I leapt up, slapped Kai awake, proceeded to extricate him from his restraints and ordered, "Kai, we must immediately find and terminate L.Cpl. Blaine! He has grievously and gravely insulted my sister and must pay for his impertinence with his worthless life!!!"

Many hours later...

Flashback – Major M – Early evening day nine spook school

I was just getting ready to head to the spy school for a meeting with Sgt. Reynolds and L.Cpl. Blaine to debrief them about yesterday's mission when my phone rang. I picked it up and Sgt. Reynolds said, "Major M, we have an issue." I thought, not again - what the hell has happened now.

I controlled my anger and questioned, "Sgt. Reynolds what seems to be the problem?"

He answered, "Sir, I don't know how to put this, but we've lost Banzai."

I shook my head, wondered and then asked, "Sgt. I think you need to explain yourself better."

Sgt. Reynolds explained, "Well Sir, Banzai and I showed up at the school together this morning. Then we were separated for today's training. Neither myself nor Mira have seen him since and to be truthful we're worried something has happened to him."

I attempted to clarify, "Are you sure the L.Cpl. hasn't gone AWOL?"

Sgt. Reynolds countered, "AWOL? Oh no Sir, we all had plans to meet for lunch and then for dinner and he's missed both meetings. I know Banzai and he would never miss occasions like this."

Ms. Sedankina (she must have taken the phone from Sgt. Reynolds) yelled in an extreme state of agitation, "Mike do not grow a bush around the beet (it took me a moment to decipher she meant beat around the bush)! L.Cpl. Blaine has not Left With Out Absence - someone has absconded with his cute corporal derriere."

I heard a huge fight and then Sgt. Reynolds was back on the phone, "Sorry about that Sir. Mira grabbed the phone away from me. Not to tell you what to do, but if you don't get here soon, I'm concerned Mira is so upset she's going to make this an international incident."

I questioned, "Can't you stop her Sgt."

He replied, "Sir I'm doing my best but by the time I caught up to her, she'd already beaten half the instructors in this piece of shit school senseless trying to find Banzai. Now she has her sights set on the Commandant..."

I heard Ms. Sedankina yell in the background, "Stinky Sgt. Reynolds, remove your malodorous ministrations from my corporal body. My lower bipedal extremity has an appointment with the Commandant's posterior orifice."

Shit! Once again more went on here than I had been told. I gave Sgt. Reynolds an order, he replied, "Sir, are you certain you want me to do this? You do know what's going to happen if I do as ordered."

I commanded, "Sgt. do as I ordered and I'll be right there." Dammit! What the hell had gone on!

Many hours earlier...

Flashback – Mira – Morning day nine spook school

I anxiously awaited the arrival of my absent boyfriend. After I comprehended the note and collapsed and then Ira threatened the demise of my L.Cpl., I leapt into action! Ira and I had a not so compassionate or gentle discussion last night about the situation and she now understood a fact which my L.Cpl. might not comprehend – yet! He was my boyfriend until I adjudicated differently!

The culmination of our not so little sisterly altercation was when I forced both her and Kai to ingest tracking devices before they departed the school. I did not trust they would not still attempt in some manner to return and damage my L.Cpl. Being forearmed is being warned four times. Now they were headed back to the Hades they groveled from in markedly different condition than when they arrived. No one, not even my loving and naïve sister could muddle with my boyfriend without suffering Mira's wrath!

I was succinctly and scintillatingly smug as I awaited my swain's arrival at school for two reasons: First I had for once defeated my sister in combat because I was properly motivated; and second now it would be my swain's turn to become equally enlightened – ending his endless irascible, irrational, irritating notes!

Flashback – Ira – Flight back to...

My cranial unit was assaulted in amazing anguish, terrific turmoil and prodigious pride! Anguish from the multiple marks upon my corporal self, inflicted by a massively motivated Mira. My only solace was Kai appeared to be utilized worse than me. In turmoil over the fact that I no longer had sole possession of my sister's love – I was now forced to share it with her L.Cpl. This was a circumstance which she forced me to tolerate for the present time. And pride because at endless last, Mira found the proper motivation by which to defeat even me.

I metaphorically applied my taste bud repository to the aforementioned wounds and cogitated on the many mistakes which precipitated my predicament - pondering to perceive the perfect resolution to an irresolute position.

Mistake one – I postulated, was allowing Mira to undertake this mission. I had not recognized her emotionally endangered state when she left – her endangerment due to the demise anniversary of our parents.

Mistake two – I failed to immediately recognize the obvious signs (partially due to Mira's cunningly extreme deception) of her impending emotional entanglement with the L.Cpl.

Mistake three – I assumed her reports about the aforementioned L.Cpl.'s skills were greatly exaggerated. He was a man who mastered motivation and applied such motivation masterfully.

Mistake four – was my failed attempt at a full frontal assault to terminate the terrible circumstances which troubled Mira. In hindsight and in the future such attempts needed to be wrapped in the invisibility cloak of intrigue and deception.

Now to devise a delicate demise for this deleterious debacle...

Flashback – Jack – Morning day nine driving to the spook school

Banzai grinned like the fucking Joker in a Batman movie at me and teased, "I thought I heard some funny noises from the couch last night? Did you and Charlie have a liaison?"

I griped, "You sure as hell know we didn't you smug SOB. You knew that was going to happen."

He laughed, "Jack I knew Charlie was going to come out for a visit and I hoped you'd pull out some of that famous charm of yours and work the pants off her. To be truthful I'm not comfortable having a real relationship with her or anyone else right now. So what the hell went wrong, because she's a woman so she is your type?"

I confessed in embarrassment, "I was having a dream about Mira and accidentally called her Mira when she woke me up."

Banzai laughed so hard, he almost lost control of the car and answered, "Jack, you need to get Mira the hell out of your mind. She's got a one track mind: She's tied me to that track and is trying to railroad me."

Now it was my turn so I teased, "Okay mister smarty pants, how do you plan on handling Mira, her sister Ira and Kai."

He grinned and smugly remarked, "Jack it's already taken care of. I left Mira a very logical note last night and I told her I was breaking up with her so I wouldn't interfere with the relationship she has with Ira. Ira coming here worked perfectly into my plan."

I looked at him and demanded, "Were you fucking born yesterday? There's no way in hell Mira's going to swallow that load of bull – no siree Bob! All you did was probably get Mira really pissed off – you should know better than to ever break up with a woman using a note. You either need to do in in person and take the pain that follows or take the coward's way and do it over the phone. Notes always lend themselves to misinterpretation."

I grinned as the smile disappeared from his face. Imagine, Banzai trying to teach me about women...

Flashback – Ben – Morning day nine driving to the spook school

Shit! Jack had me concerned that I possibly fucked up with Mira! What if he was right and I was wrong, what if I really did just get Mira pissed off at me. I remembered all the times she kicked Jack's and other's asses and hoped mine wouldn't be the next ass she kicked!

As we drove into the school parking lot, I saw Mira waiting for me and my concern grew as she saw the car and made a beeline toward us ... She reached the side of the car, then smiled at me and I felt a little better but I wasn't sure I wanted to open the door...

She rapped on the window, I rolled it down slightly and Mira cooed, "My long lost boyfriend..." I couldn't hear the rest because Jack laughed like a fucking hyena...