Chapter 19

Present – Stacy – Waking up the next morning

What the hey! If I thought I was having weird Stanley Kubrick dreams Ben must be having fracking¹ nightmares from The Shining² and My Bloody Wedding³ combined. He woke me up tossing, turning and yelling 'no, no, oh hell no' and then something about a 'bloody wedding dress.'

¹ Frack is a euphemism for fuck pulled from the new Battlestar Galactica series

² The Shining – 1980 movie directed by Stanley Kubrick and starring Jack Nicholson.

³ My Bloody Wedding – 2010 movie about a demon possessed bride (Ben wanted to add a comment about 'that's a pretty normal bride').

Sometime during the night Ben had rolled over and was spooning me. It feels really good but I need to see if he's alright. I roll towards him and notice he even has Bo concerned. Bo has his head by us and is snorting - trying to wake Ben. I reach up, gently touch Ben's face and say, "Ben wake up, you're having a bad dream."

His eyes snap open with this crazy wild look in his eyes that I've never seen before. Then he hugs the heck out of me and says, "Thank God it was only a bad dream."

I enjoy him holding me but finally break the mood by saying, "That sounded more like a nasty nightmare to me. Do you want to talk about it?"

Then Bo interrupts our interlude by trying to nose me away from Ben and Ben says, "Hell no I don't want to talk about it - come on let's move it ... daylight's burning." He jumps up and orders me, "Stacy you stand watch while I take care of my morning business."

I grump back, "Hey what ever happened to ladies first?"

He yells back over his shoulder, "In war there are no ladies; besides, you snooze you lose."

I grumpily get out of my nice warm sleeping bag, grab my rifle and SLLS as I was ordered! Whoever said war is hell was sure right because I was really enjoying our activities earlier this morning. And Grandmamma was right: Men are really strange but some of them are also pretty exciting!

Present – Ben – Waking up the next morning

Damn! I just had the fucking nightmare to end all nightmares! I think it was worse than the face nightmare or the captured nightmare. Oh it started out nice enough since I was an observer at my wedding and it wasn't too bad (for a wedding – which is really sort of a bachelor's funeral). I liked my tux since it made me look like 'Bond, James Bond!' But then it shocked the hell out of me when Stacy, not Ms. Donaldson, was the bride – yeah what the fuck was dreamland Ben doing getting married in the first place and then to Stacy Summers, not Ms. Donaldson!

Dreamland Ben must be a whole lot more stupid than actual Ben because he went along with the whole wedding fiasco and even seemed happy about it. Then it all went to hell in a hurry! Jens, I mean Ms. Donaldson, stormed into the church right as the minister pronounced them man and wife, yelled "Nooooooo! You can't marry that skanky little bitch! You promised me!"

She aimed her M4 at Stacy and I couldn't believe it! She unloaded a full mag (less one) into Stacy! Stacy's beautiful white dress instantly turned red!

Dreamland Ben looked at Ms. Donaldson and yelled, "You bitch! You just killed my wife!"

Ms. Donaldson yelled in reply, "You runaway bastard. You promised to marry me first and if I can't have you, no one can have you!"

Dreamland Ben again yelled, "You bitch, I'm going to kill you!"

She taunted him, "Come and get some you lying bastard!"

They ran towards each other and started a huge fight in the middle of the church aisle.

The dream has me really shaken! Do I really have repressed feelings like that for Stacy? If so and I acted on them, would this dream be a premonition like so many of my dreams?

I need time to think, so I leave Stacy on watch and head off in the bushes to complete my morning business. I guess I spend a bit too much time because I hear Stacy complain, "Hey, there are other people that have to use the bathroom in the morning too!"

I come back but I sure as hell can't look Stacy in the eyes, not right now.

Present – Stacy – Waking up the next morning

Something is as wrong as two left shoes with Ben when he comes back. He won't even make eye contact with me! He reminds me of – I know - a skittish as heck horse. Worse than even Knacker (I really hate that name) when we first found him. I wonder ... if you treat a skittish man like a skittish horse, will it have the same effect.

I softly ask, "Ben will you SLLS while I take care of my morning business." I slowly walk towards him and softly say, "Ben I really didn't get a chance to say thank you for saving my life again yesterday. I don't know how many times that makes you have saved my life, but you have my promise that somehow, someday and someway I will repay you." I touch him on the shoulder as I walk past but he even flinches a little from my touch!

Well, that didn't works quite like I thought it would! I start to take care of things and begin to think: What would Grandmamma do?

Present – Ben – Waking up the next morning

What the hell! Stacy is treating me like – well I don't even know what's she's treating me like because it's strange as hell. She talking all soft and sultry to me – wait a minute. Oh hell no – she's trying to seduce me! She even touches me and I just about jump out of my skin.

I'm glad she's busy because it gives me time to come up with a plan for today. I sure as hell can't be getting into a relationship with her or any other woman, not if I can't give them children!

I think hard and come up with the perfect plan for today. Stacy walks out of the bushes, I smile at her and she says, "Well that's the Ben that I know. So what are your orders for today?"

I reply, "We're going to be busy as hell today. First let's have a quick breakfast. Then we need to approach the house again just as if it hasn't been cleared since we don't know if any banditos came back to it last night. And we'll remember to watch for the IEDs everywhere. Then I need to deal with those IEDs before one of us or the horses gets the hell blown out of our legs. I have to figure out what triggers them so I can shut it off, if that's possible. Then I want to give the family as proper a burial as we can, dispose of the bandito rubbish and then have a look at the barn we saw briefly last night. Plus I have some other things for you today."

She smiles at me and replies, "That sounds like a really busy day. What other things do you have in mind for me?"

I grin and explain, "You my young lady are finally going to get to groom these smelly horses you like to complain about. And then it's time, because you did a pretty good job last night but made a few mistakes, to concentrate on your tactical training. This fucked up house is a perfect place for you to practice UC and we need to work on your rifle skills."

She starts the breakfast MREs without even being asked and continues to SLLS. Then she asks, "Is there anything else, because I don't see how we can do all this in just one day."

I reply, "Yes one more thing, one of us will always stand watch today while the other works. And I think if we don't run into anymore banditos we will spend a couple days around here and let my leg heal."

Well, that last statement was a mistake. Stacy comes over and orders, "Ben, forgive me! I forgot all about your leg. Drop your pants and let me inspect your wound."

I start to argue...

Present – Stacy – Waking up the next morning

Son of a gun! With all the excitement already this morning I forgot about Ben's leg. He reminds me and I reply, "Ben, forgive me! I forgot all about your leg. Drop your pants and let me inspect your wound."

Then he argues with me, "Stacy, really my leg's fine and you don't need to look at it."

I notice that he blushes and wonder what the heck that is all about. I sit on the ground and demand, "Like heck! If you're going to act like a child then I will too. I'm not moving from this place until you drop your pants and let me see your leg."

He finally relents and whines, "Okay but I tell you it's fine." Then he finally drops his pants. I look at his wound and it is really good looking but we will need to change the bandages sometime soon. I stand up and notice he's really blushing and I tease, "What's wrong, is the big strong Marine afraid that I might take advantage of him?"

This proves to be a minor mistake on my part when Ben gets a really grumpy look and says, "Stacy don't ever joke about something like that with me!"

Wow he's much worse than a skittish horse – it's sort of like – I know – it's like he's PMS! Now, that I understand. I smile at him and apologize, "Look Ben it seems like everything I've done today has upset you. Please forgive me." Then I go to my pack, pull out a chocolate bar, hand it to him and continue, "Please accept this as a peace offering."

He finally apologizes to me, "Stacy I'm sorry. Now I don't want to talk about it, but that nightmare really shook me up today and it's probably going to take a while for me to settle down."

Hmm, I'm not sure what the heck sort of nightmare it was and I really want to talk to him about it. But I know he's not going to discuss it, at least not right now. I grab the MREs hand him his and suggest, "Perhaps your breakfast and that chocolate bar will make you feel better - bon appetite!"

Ben offers, "Thanks Stacy, I will continue to SLLS as I eat my breakfast so you can relax and take it easy."

Unfortunately, I can't relax. Ben has trained me well and I can't stop SLLSing, not while we still might be in danger...

Present – Ben – New day

I proudly notice that even though I told Stacy she could relax, her head is still on a swivel and she continues to SLLS while she eats her breakfast. It's a good thing because it lets me concentrate on a serious problem I haven't solved yet. You see I think we were damn lucky last night not to have tripped one of the shotgun shell IEDs – shit if it wasn't for Bo I would have already been a victim of one.

Perhaps it was a mistake to leave the house last night, but I really couldn't stand sleeping in the filth and shit the banditos did to that house. Stacy didn't see what I saw in the back bedrooms, but it was brutal: Dead bodies stacked like cord wood. And now because of that decision, we need to safely approach the house and make sure it's clear again. All this without getting the hell blown out of us by an IED. So far the only safe places I know of are the paths leading to the front and back doors – but they are also perfect funnels of death. I know how the banditos took the house - they lost a crap load of men doing it and once the back door was blown (I think the sapper made a mistake when he wired the back door) they had access to the house.

I notice Stacy is still SLLSing when she asks me, "Ben you seem to be deep in thought, what's going on."

I explain everything to her and say, "I'm just trying to come up with the best plan on how to see if the house is clear."

She smiles at me and suggests, "I think we should do it cavalry style. How about if I ride up to the house on Knacker, stop sideways to the house at the front and start yelling. If someone shoots at me, I can duck behind Knacker and ride off. If they come out and chase me, then you can ride up on Bo like you did last night and shoot them."

I think for a couple moments and say, "I sure hate using you for bait again. If we keep it up sooner or later you're going to get caught."

She smiles at me and says, "Well if that happens then I know you will rescue me."

Yeah but that's not the sort of caught I meant, and she doesn't need to be intentionally scared, at least not right now. I think a bit more and say, "Okay I like this plan but it has one big flaw. What if the banditos don't go after the bait? So if no one fires at you, I will come up to the house on Bo and dismount. You will hold Bo while I use Knacker as a shield to approach the house."

She smiles and says, "I like that plan because I didn't think about them not chasing me but you're right. They might wait to see what happens."

I say, "Okay before we implement this OPPLAN, let's start your training for the day..."

Present – Stacy – First training lesson – Mental Preparation

Once again, Ben doesn't treat me like a teenager but lets me not only come up with the OPPLAN, he helps me to see the mistakes I made in my planning. If he keeps this up I might take advantage of him!

Then we start my first training lesson for today when Ben asks, "Stacy how are fights won?"

I think for a minute and respond, "By the person with the best guns."

He smiles and says, "Stacy that's the typical answer and just like many other times, the typical answer is wrong. Try again."

I think a bit longer and offer, "The next thing that comes to mind is by the biggest or strongest person, but I know that's also wrong so please tell me."

He says, "Stacy, fights are won in the mind! It's the person who is the most mentally prepared that will prevail in a fight. The weapons are just tools, it doesn't matter if you pick up a rifle or a pistol or a baseball bat or even a rock. The weapon cannot win the fight by itself, it's the preparation of the person wielding the weapon that is critical."

I reply, "Wow I was way off base in my thinking but now that you mention it I can see you're right. I mean we've had the better weapons in many wars but haven't won them. So does that mean we weren't mentally prepared?"

Ben says, "You must be thinking about Vietnam and the Sandbox. In both those cases our soldiers were for the most part prepared, it was and is the politicians that weren't and aren't mentally prepared to let us win the war. The one thing I can tell you without a doubt is that terrorists do not think like you or me; they see you and view you as a target or a victim, just a means to the end to bring about their social, political or religious changes. If you think you can reason with a terrorist, you're naïve and will become their next victim. Our politicians don't realize or see that."

He then continues with my training, "So tell me what was the biggest emotion you felt last night when we cleared the house."

I chimed right in, "It was fear - I was so scared I almost wet my pants."

Ben nods his head and says, "You're right, when you face an armed conflict the single most overriding emotion you will face is fear. Anyone who says they have no fear is either a liar or a fool because fear is a natural response and we need to teach you to make the fear you feel to be your friend. How you deal with and control fear is one of the biggest factors of whether or not you will survive the confrontation."

He pauses so I worry and ask, "So how do I learn to make fear my friend?"

He answers, "The best way to compensate or overcome your fear is by having confidence in your skills and knowing they will work in a dangerous situation. You develop and refine those skills through constant practice. Remember how hard it was to SLLS when I first taught you? Now since you've practiced it, you have become better at it. In fact even as I am teaching you I notice how well you're SLLSing."

I smile at him and say, "Thanks I have an excellent teacher, even if he's pretty old."

Ben chuckles but continues, "Stacy, there's a hierarchy of threat management that we need to teach you. First: Avoid the confrontation. We are in a war and for the most part this option is off the table. However, there are times, like when the OPFORs hugely outnumber us that this will be the only option we can take which will assure our survival.

I nod my head and respond, "That makes sense to me. But couldn't we have avoided the banditos in the house?"

He smiles and says, "Of course we could have but after I told you about what they did to the family and we both saw what they did to Knacker our emotions took that option off the table. Second: Try to evade the confrontation. If you're SLLSing and have good situational awareness of what's going on around you, then you can evade the situation. I sort of did this on the bus hijacking. I knew that avoidance was impossible so I evaded being captured on the bus. You wisely did the same thing later."

I smile at him and confirm, "I just asked myself what would Ben do and then did it."

He laughed and continues, "Finally: Counter the confrontation. If you can't avoid or evade the threat, then you have to counter the threat as vigorously as possible. It's not the time to play nice. You must think and act not only like the terrorist, you must become even more ruthless than the terrorist if you are going to beat them. Remember, confidence is everything!"

I reply, "Sort of like the old saying if he picks up a rock, I pick up a baseball bat?"

Ben surprises me when he emphasizes, "No it's more a situation where you shoot him before he even picks up the rock."

I think about what Ben has said when he asks, "How does this make you feel?"

I reply, "All that you've said makes sense to me. And I really know you're asking me once again if I could kill someone. I believe what you told me about how they think differently than we do. It's the only thing that makes sense for why they would act the way they do. So yes, if we were threatened and we couldn't avoid or evade the threat I would kill them."

He smiles at me and says with a pretty bad Asian accent, "You learn well young grasshopper. Now let's see how your OPPLAN works."

Present – Ben – Clearing the house – again

Stacy is impressive; she's a hell of a learner and pretty damn logical for a woman. She reminds me of a younger Ms. Donaldson without the annoyance of all the flirting. She did however mention taking advantage of me, which I nipped in bud.

I think I've created a monster, no not Stacy, Bo. He starts bothering me about the peanut butter out of my MRE so I load up a cracker, give it to him and he smacks his lips like crazy. Stacy watches and laughs, "That's still the funniest thing I've ever seen a horse do. But I'm glad the horses are getting something besides the grass they eat. We really need to see if there's some grain for them somewhere around the house." Then Patches starts to bother her and Stacy also loses her peanut butter. Yeah it's pretty damn funny to watch the horses react to the peanut butter.

I instruct Stacy, "One of the nice things about the M4 and AK platforms is they have a pistol grip. So, many of the firearm fundamentals you learned while firing your pistol you can use with your rifle."

She answers, "You're right, but I sure don't like the trigger on my AK."

I had checked her AK and nothing was wrong with the trigger. It's a battle rifle, not a sniper rifle so what it has is a perfectly normal trigger. Then I get an idea, "Stacy, I think I'm going to give you the M4 because it has a hell of a nice custom trigger and I will take your AK."

She's all excited as she erupts, "So I get the cool black rifle instead of this old beat up wooden one!"

I nod my head and answer, "You sure do, now come over here and let me show you how it operates." I take my time, especially with the ACOG sight, but Stacy catches right on.

I order, "Okay, SPORTS the M4."

She asks first, "Should I actually fire it? Won't it alert any banditos that might be in the house?"

I nod my head, "Yes fire at that small rock by the tree over there. And if it does alert them, then they might come outside to see what's going on."

I watch as she does and excellent but slightly slow job, then fires at the rock (which is only about fifteen feet away) - her shot is low. She complains, "Well the trigger is much better on this, and I thought I was aiming right at the rock, but my shot went low."

I smile at her and say, "Yes I knew it would. Look at how high the ACOG sight is above the barrel, that's called sight offset. With the normal open M4 sights, your shots will be about two inches low at ten to fifteen feet. With the ACOG on top of it your shots are going to be more like three inches low at the same distance."

I watch her think and she says, "So the AK didn't have this problem because the sights were right on the barrel. Does this mean I have to aim high on all my shots? If so what the heck is the scope good for?"

I answer, "Stacy, I really like how you're always thinking and I love the questions you ask. The ACOG is sighted in to one hundred yards which means if you hold the dot on the target at one hundred yards and do all the other rifle fundamentals correctly, you will hit exactly where you aim. The sight offset is a close range phenomena and gets less as you approach one hundred yards. Now on shots further than a hundred yards you have to aim higher than the dot. We will talk about this more later but for right now on anything close, like when we're clearing the house, you need to aim about two inches high. Now weapons check and it's time to roll."

I watch her perform her weapons check, then she looks at me and surprises the hell out of me when she says...

Present – Stacy – Clearing the house – again

The M4 is really a much nicer rifle than the AK and it doesn't even kick as much. I didn't tell Ben, because I don't want him to think I'm a sissy, but my shoulder is a little sore from last night. I SPORT the M4 look at Ben and say, "Semper Fi, do or die shot the bastards in the eye."

He chuckles and replies, "Semper Fi Stacy! That's not quite right but in this case it's probably better."

I hold out my fist, we bump fists, I look at him and say, "Watch my ass!"

Ben corrects me (even though it wasn't a mistake), "You mean cover your six."

I lie, "Yeah that's what I meant." I turn away and walk over to Knacker, knowing that after my not so subtle hint Ben is indeed watching my ass. I turn just to make sure he is (yes he is) and hop up on Knacker. Patches comes over, gives me a funny look, I stroke her on the neck and say, "It's okay Patches, I'll be riding you later.

I watch as Ben walks over to Bo, Bo kneels, Ben get on his back, Bo stands up and Ben says, "Okay remind me of the OPPLAN."

I recite, "I'm going to slowly approach the house while I SLLS for any movement. If I don't see anyone, then I stop Knacker at the far end of the path sideways to the house and call for help. If a bandito comes out, then I will slip off the side of Knacker away from the house and leave. If no banditos come out of the house, I wait for you to ride up with Bo and you will use Knacker as a shield and we will clear the house."

He smiles at me and says, "Good job. Now let's roll."

I correct him, "Don't you mean let's ride?"

Present – Ben – OPPLAN

Stacy hits the standoff position at the end of the path and yells, "Hello, is anyone home?" She waits a few moments and says, "Hello, is anyone in the house. I really need some help, I'm injured."

No one fires or comes out of the house so I ride up on Bo, bring Patches and say, "Stacy, I'm changing the OPPLAN, when I do this it's called a FRAGO for Fragmentary Order Change. Get off of Knacker with him between you and the house."

She does as ordered and I do the same, I move over beside her and say, "Okay, here's the FRAGO, I'm going to fire on the house."

She asks, "What will that do?"

I answer, "Well I don't know of many people, other than me, that would let someone fire at the house they're in without retaliation."

She says, "I bet your right."

I put my AK over Knacker's back and let fly, emptying a full mag less one shot into the house, then I do a tactical reload. We wait and nothing happens so I say...

Present – Stacy – Second training lesson – Ready positions

Ben says, "I don't think anyone is in the house, but I'm still using Knacker for a shield as I approach the porch."

I ask, "Should I cover you?"

Ben answers, "Yes but use your pistol and don't fire unless I actually go down."

I sling the M4 over my shoulder and pull my pistol. Ben notices and says, "Okay, we need to do some serious work on your tactical skills. When I get to the porch and make sure the living room is clear, haul your ass up onto the porch as quickly as possible."

I SLLS like crazy as Ben heads to the porch using Knacker as a shield, when he gets close enough to the porch he let's Knacker go and Knacker runs back to Bo and Patches. His ears are back. Now he's all upset so I stroke him as I continue to SLLS. I notice when Ben makes sure the living room is clear and signals for me. I run to the front porch and stand beside him. Ben says, "Okay Stacy, we're changing your role for this mission. You won't have to cover my six, because with the horses out here, they will raise hell if anyone comes up."

I interrupt, "Okay then what am I supposed to do?"

Ben answers, "You are going to watch how I clear this house."

I ask, "Should I use my rifle or pistol."

Ben answers, "Check your pistol and use it."

Ben begins my instruction, "Stacy, since you didn't get to see this last night, I want you to carefully observe the ready positions I use with my rifle and pistol while I clear the house and how I move. I will briefly tell you the name of each position, tell you why I'm using it and give the strengths and weaknesses of each."

He continues, "A ready position is the way that you hold your weapon when you are in a possible combat situation. No single ready position will work in every combat situation. That's why you need to learn all of them and then know which one to use in each circumstance because the positions are situational dependent. They are also similar between pistol and rifle, the biggest difference is there are only three rifle ready positions while there are four pistol ready positions."

I remark, "When I was taught to shoot pistol no one told me about ready positions, they made me concentrate on how I stood, how I held my pistol and how I squeezed the trigger."

Ben explains, "That's because they were teaching you how to shoot at targets and targets don't normally shoot back. I'm sure they taught you the Weaver or modified Weaver stance."

I answer, "Yes they did."

Ben answers, "Well in combat we don't have the luxury to place our feet in any particular stance. So we need to be able to fire with our feet in any position. However we still need to make sure to lean into the weapon."

I recite, "Yes, nose over toes."

Ben says, "That's right, nose over toes. Now watch me."

I watch Ben carefully as he pulls his pistol, holds it straight out in front like he's firing at someone and then lowers it towards the ground at a forty-five degree angle. Then he moves it quickly back up to firing position and lowers it several times.

He says, "This is the most common ready position it's called the low ready position or guard position used by Jeff Cooper during his Modern Technique of the Pistol. You hold the muzzle of the gun down at a 45 degree angle from the eye-target line. It keeps the muzzle off the target and away from non-hostiles but also takes very little movement to bring the gun up on target. The problem is the gun gets heavy and you end up holding lower than you should, then you bring the gun up quickly and it's hard to stop in the exact position and get a quick shot, you almost always under or over travel."

I say and then immediately wish I hadn't opened my mouth, "But on TV they always hold the gun upward towards the ceiling..."

Ben interrupts, "And they are wrong plus they are waving it all over the place in dramatic fashion. So then what do they do when they finally find a bad guy?"

I say, "They chamber a round."

Ben says, "So they go into a hostile situation with and unloaded weapon. Do you know what you call an unloaded weapon?"

I shake my head no. Ben answers, "You call it a club. If they did that in the real world they would be shot. Okay, watch me as I move into the house."

I observe as he brings the rifle up to his shoulder, just like he's going to fire it then he angles the muzzle down towards the ground and turns his head from side to side and says, "This is called the low ready position for the rifle and is the one I use the most. You bring the weapon up on target and drop the muzzle until you can turn your head and look in any direction. The problem with this ready position is if your target is below you, your weapon will obscure the view of the target."

He continues, "Now I'm going to pie or slice the doorway."

I watch as he keeps his rifle in low ready position and slowly moves around the doorway. He reaches the other side of the doorway and says, "Okay, I'm entering the room and will traverse the room and stand with my back against the wall by the doorway into the kitchen. This location will give me the best view of living room and will provide me the best location to pie the kitchen. Once I'm against the wall, my focus will be on the outside doorway, you will come into the room, holding your pistol in the low ready position and head toward me while covering the kitchen door."