Chapter 13

I pulled up in my driveway, and Stephanie pulled up right beside me. I got out, and routine took over. I opened the door to get Kim out first. By the time I had opened the door to get Brian out, Cyn was there.

She had a look in her eyes and I knew I was in trouble.

"Cyn, this is Stephanie."

"He really calls you Cyn?"

"Yeah," Cyn answered, a lot less sure of herself than I'd heard in a long time.

"He's told me so much about you," Stephanie said. Then she turned to me. "Don't you need to take your two inside?"

"Subtle, as usual," I said and left to go inside.

That doesn't mean as soon as I set my kids in the playpen, I didn't look out the curtains. I wanted to know what was going on. I couldn't see them. Hesitation took over for almost two seconds, then seven steps took me to the front door.

Did I want to look that desperate?

I was reaching for the door knob, already knowing the answer to that question, when I heard laughter. I looked up at the ceiling and groaned. They had to be sitting on the front steps.

There was no way I was going to walk out, and get grilled. I knew how Stephanie could make a guy want to run away. There was only one thing for me to do, and that was to occupy myself with my children. Otherwise I was going to drive myself crazy.

It was only after I changed both of them, fed them, and was giving Brian a bath, that I realized that I was a bit sad that Cyn hadn't come in after talking to Stephanie. I was drying Brian when I heard a knock on the front door, and then her voice.

"Brad?"

"Upstairs," I said, with a sudden feeling of happiness.

She found us in the bathroom.

"Kim have her bath, yet?" she asked.

"No, want to give it to her?"

"Umm."

I looked at her, startled at the hesitation. She was biting her bottom lip.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I think you may be getting email tonight."

"Ok," I said, trying to understand why that might be important.

"Stephanie and I had a real good, long, talk."

"Don't tell me you just finished!"

"Yeah. As we started talking about other things, she told me things about you ... about how you are, were, at work. That's when I realized who she was. You've talked about her, but not by name. She ... I can't tell you, but earlier in the conversation I told her to read Letters Written."

"Oh," I got out, not knowing what else to say.

I finished Kimberly's bath and as soon as I pulled her up in the towel, she reached out for Cyn. She smiled, stepped towards me and took my daughter from my hands. I grabbed Brian and we walked into their bedroom.

"You think she'll like the story and email me?" I said as I was putting on Brian's top. Somehow in-between the bathroom and bedroom things started to click.

"I'm sure she'll love the story. It's so good. Probably your best. No, Brad, she's going to email, 'cause I think she's also going to hate you."

I almost dropped Brian as I turned to look at Cyn.

"What!"

"There's a reason she doesn't let men get close to her. She was hurt."

"I kinda figured that out myself."

"Bad. Real bad. She told me she doesn't think she could ever get that close again."

I'm sure I had a sort of sad look on my face when I said, "I didn't either."

Then I smiled as I added, "But then you came along."

"She told me she hid from you for almost two months. She couldn't stand the pain."

"Did she?" I asked as I thought about it. I had no idea. That time was like thick fog.

"I told her she had to read that one, before I knew the rest. I wouldn't have done it. Brad, that story is ... well it's emotion put down into words." Cyn stopped talking and I looked at her face. It looked a bit pained. "She's not going to like the chapters ... you know ... those emotions when you lost Melody..."

My eyes started to tear up. I did know how emotional those chapters were for me.

"Brad, I'm sorry."

"Hey, you didn't know. It's all right. The worst of it is she will hide away from me for a while."

"You think that's it?" Cyn asked.

I took her hand and she flowed into me. I felt the tension in her body.

"Cyn, She and I also had a long talk today."

"She told me."

"After I ... we ... well you called at work, well she said she heard I laughed at work. I never knew I was that bad off. She told me I was. So today, while we were talking, I told her the same thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. So maybe it's a good thing. She needs to move on, as much as I did. She can help that happen, unlike me."

"What do you mean, unlike you?" Cyn said as she pushed herself away from me so she could look me in the eyes.

"I had," I told her, "the best healer right in front of me and never saw it. You, my dear, took it upon yourself to force that issue. I had little to do with it."

A big smile was on Cyn's face. She answered, "You had everything to do with me falling in love with you. I couldn't help myself."

The moment was nearly perfect. Nearly. I wondered why we hadn't been disturbed yet. I glanced, and then had to take a second look. Cyn caught my gaze and looked as well. Kim and Brian were asleep. I took Cyn's hand and we walked silently out of the room. Moments like this don't happen very often.

In the hallway I placed my hands on both sides of her face and drew her into a kiss.

It was the thump on the wall that woke Brian. He let us know he was awake, too. The thump? I had no idea how much time we spent kissing ... and, well, that lead to touching. Of course, that lead to more touching. At some point I lost my balance when Cyn tugged on me, and we thumped into the wall, both of us laughing as we sort of slid down to the floor.

Brian was the diversion that was needed to keep us from not going to far. I know both of us wanted everything our hearts were leading us to. We also knew that there was no going back, once a barrier had been crossed. I wasn't going to push. She wasn't asking. Things sort of got out of control at times. This was one of them and Brian, unbeknownst, kept us in check.

I didn't get an email, nor did I see Stephanie the next day. At four, I asked around, only to be told she'd left early. I walked into her cubicle, and left her a note.

The next morning, Stephanie was at the edge of my cubicle with fire in her eyes. I had known I was going to get it, and was waiting for the onslaught.

"That was unkind."

"Yes, and petty," I added.

Her eyes narrowed, I knew she didn't like my candid comment.

"It did get you here. So, in that, it was successful," I said.

"Funny."

"How much did you read?"

Stephanie hesitated, then answered, "All of it."

"When did you sleep?" I stammered out.

"You should know the answer to that. I didn't." Then in a softer voice she added, "I couldn't."

This was way over my head and, at least this time, I knew it.

"Maybe you should talk to Cyn, or her mother. I don't think I qualify for the job."

"Oh, great. You can write the stuff, but can't talk about it?" she said indignantly.

I looked down, studying the carpet for a moment before answering.

"Yeah, that's about it. I write 'cause that's how I can say what I feel. It takes time to get those words to come out right. My writing used to be anonymous, so no one knew who I was. If they liked my writing, they would keep reading and maybe send me an email. I am listened to, because when I write I can think about what I am saying. Because of that, my words are important to some people."

At that point I looked up at her. She had this look, one that would be hard to describe.

"You don't think people listen to you?"

"Here at the office, yeah, about my job. That isn't me, though, that's work. Outside of work ... no, no they don't."

"Bullshit."

"Stephanie, you have read my stories ... or a few of them, I gather..." She looked a little pained, I went on. "You have a different outlook on me. Talk to Cyn's mother. Ask her about the car buying expedition. There's a whole lot more to that than what I told you."

I wasn't very comfortable having her stare at me for what seemed like a long, long time.

Then she pulled out her cell phone. "What's the number?"

I shook my head as if I was in a daze, than asked, "Number?"

"It would also be helpful if I knew her name."

She wasn't helping, then it dawned on me.

"Teri. And 'Shepard' is their last name. Let me get the number," I said. As I dug out my phone, I added, "This isn't a conversation to do over the phone."

Stephanie rolled her eyes and answered, "I'm not a man, I know better than that."

"Funny."

As soon as I gave her the number, she walked out, and down the hall.

Today for some reason, I blamed not hearing a thing from either Teri or Stephanie about them getting together in the last two days, for the fact that I was a bit tense. There was only one thing for me to do. Calm myself. That consisted of amusing the kids, and listening to something that would soothe. There was only one thing that I knew that would do that, and it was a favorite of mine, anyway.

I set Brian and Kimberly so they could see the television and popped in the DVD. I turned on the stereo, and waited for the relentless advertising and copyright shit to play through. Then, as the beginning started, I turned up the sound. I was indoctrinating them, just as I had been.

Fast forwarding past the introductions I got to the part the kids would like, and I needed. The first scene started.

Almost at the same time there was a knock at the front door. I mentally started to groan, then the door opened and Cyn walked in. The groan was instantly replaced with a smile. She closed the door, took two steps towards me, and then stopped. Her eyes were glued to the TV.

Her peripheral vision must have been excellent. She never took her eyes off the screen, as she walked up to me. Taking my hand she pulled me over to the couch. Pushing me to sit, she then climbed into my lap. Reaching out, she took my hands and wrapped them around her. Then she laid her head back onto my chest, and sighed.

"My parents saw this in the theater. We have a video of it. I grew up with it. Makes me love you even more. You're doing the same thing with ou ... your kids."

I wondered if she had any idea of what it did to me, when she slipped and called my kids 'ours'? Then I felt her ass wiggle on my lap and knew, that yes, she must know. When she said things like that, it did things to me that I couldn't control.

"Are you going to teach them the real names, or what Disney called them?" Cyn asked as soon as the Pastoral Symphony started.

"I have no idea what they are called. I just like to look," I said with a little snort at the end.

Cyn wiggled on my lap, again, and said, "I know the part you like. Disney was pretty forward putting topless girls in a film. I mean it was 1940 when this came out. You can't even tell there's something different about them until they start walking out of the water. Disney coined them 'Centaurettes' instead of their accepted name of Kentaurides, as the female Centaurs are named."

"I can tell you're very well versed on Fantasia. This part just makes me..."

"Uh huh, I can tell what it does to you. Horny Centaur."