Chapter 18

Two weeks later I was sitting in my front room talking to, and cuddling, Petra.

Those two weeks were a repeat of the first few days after leaving hospital, the only variance being the degree of movement that I had and the accompanying pain. Oh, and I only had two regular visitors.

Petra stayed about half a dozen times, each time in my bed. The sex improved but I felt our connection didn't. With Natasha it was the opposite, I felt closer to her than ever and the sexual side was awful because there wasn't one. I knew, and totally accepted, the reasons but that didn't remove the growing desire.

I actually saw Natasha more often than her cousin, though she only stayed a couple of times in the first week, both times in the upstairs bedroom. Knowing that she was in bed, just above my head, ensured a couple of restless nights. After so many years of intense dislike, if not actual hate, I found it very disturbing to be so drawn to Natasha. Of course, she had always had the equipment to attract any man but now her character was starting to match her body. It was an almost irresistible combination.

I had thought about Lyn but had heard nothing from her and had decided, again, that she was no longer part of my life. When I mentioned it to Petra and Natasha they looked at me with totally different expressions. Petra looked smug whilst Natasha had an almost knowing look.

'David, you've helped me tremendously lately so I feel I need to be frank with you.' Petra told me.

'Oookay!' I said hesitantly.

'I've found another lover.'

I jerked away from her so that I could see her face.

My shock was obvious and her explanation did little to relieve it. 'Don't worry, it's not another man.'

She paused waiting for me to comment but when I didn't, couldn't in fact, she continued. 'You know of my love for Nat? I had to find out if that was for her only or for other women as well.'

Again the pause and look at me and again I was silent.

'I met Erica a while ago but last week after a few glasses of wine we ended up in bed.'

'Was it, is it a one off?' I had to ask. As my mind started to work again, I realised that the news shouldn't really be as big a surprise as it obviously was. Petra had never tried to hide her interest in women and given her new venture into the realm of the flesh, it was, or should have been, predictable that something like this was on the cards.

'No. I've seen her every night I haven't been here.' Petra's voice was nervous but not scared, as if she was not worried about the outcome, just with having to tell me about it.

'You prefer her?' I asked or really confirmed.

She nodded. For some odd reason, I was happy that she didn't blush or hesitate.

'Does she know about me?'

'Yes. She isn't too happy about it but reluctantly accepts it. After all, I was with you before her and as I told her, without you there wouldn't have been a her.'

'Will we still be friends?'

My answer was a frenzied attack on my lips.

'I knew you would understand.' She said as she left me to catch my breath. 'I hope we will always be friends.'

We hugged a bit more before Petra left. Her leaving was something that was just natural it seemed although her parting shot left me speechless. 'You don't need a third girl anyway.'

What did she mean by a third girl. I had to guess that the other two were Natasha and Lyn but I had neither of those. I hadn't even seen or heard from Lyn since she ran out and if anyone should know that Natasha and I were just friends then it was her cousin.

Later that evening, I was sitting listening to some Black Sabbath when I saw the door open. It was Natasha and one look told me that this was not a normal visit. It was clear that she was holding tears back. I moved to switch the music off and as I did so, I guessed what was wrong.

'Your mum?' I asked holding my arms out to her. Mrs. Kopolova's cancer had become terminal and Natasha had told me regularly that her mother's health was deteriorating rapidly.

She didn't answer but ran into my arms, buried her head against my chest and cried. She stayed like that for a long time, so long in fact that my legs started to become quite painful. Remembering what I felt like when I lost my family, I said nothing, knowing that the physical pain I was feeling was nothing in comparison to Natasha's suffering.

Eventually the sobbing stopped but she still clung to me for a good ten minutes before she stepped back. When she did, she did so suddenly, leaving me to discover that I had been using her to support my weakened legs. I didn't quite fall over but it was close with me just managing to reach my chair before collapsing.

'Oh David, I'm sorry. I forgot about your legs.' She cried, her voice still full of emotion.

I pulled her onto my lap and held her to me again, telling her to forget about it. Over the next hour she told me that her mother had finally succumbed to the cancer that afternoon. As soon as she'd arrived at the hospice she'd had to contain her own grief to console her father who was, not too surprisingly, in a terrible state. Eventually, she'd got him home where their doctor had sedated him and put him to bed. Knowing that Ian would look out for him Natasha had come straight here.

'Who's Ian?' I asked.

'Butler, chauffeur and general friend to us.'

I looked slightly puzzled as I recalled someone called Henry.

Natasha guessed what I was thinking and explained. 'Ian is a really nice man but doesn't think his name is suitable to butlering so to outsiders he is Henry.'

As she was explaining this, my mind picked up on something else she'd said. She had come straight to me. That made me feel so special it was incredible. I recalled being so alone when my family died. I hadn't realised it at the time but I had no real close friend, no one with whom to share my grief. That my once nemesis felt that I was that person for her was more moving than just about anything.

For the next couple of hours I listened as Natasha recalled all the good times with her mother. She repeated herself on numerous occasions but that mattered little. As long as she wanted to talk, I was more than happy to listen.

'Can I stay tonight?'

'Of course, you know you are welcome anytime.'

'I mean with you.' She said, looking at me for the first time in over an hour.

'The same "of course" applies and under whatever rules you want.' I replied instantly.

'Thank you.' She reached up and kissed me. It was a tender and loving kiss without even a hint of lust. 'I don't know what "rules" I want, can I make them up as I go along?' She said quietly.

'I thought women did that as a matter of course.' I said risking a joke.

She managed a small smile, which suddenly broadened as she said. 'Come on then, take me to bed.'

There was some hesitation on both of us before Natasha decided that she wanted skin on skin. I got undressed and into bed first whilst she removed most of her make-up. There was no conversation as she undressed and I found it remarkably easy to keep my eyes on her face as she did so.

Once in bed she wrapped herself around me as much as possible. For me it was bizarre, here I was naked in bed with someone whose body I'd lusted over for years, yet I was hardly aroused.

A few silent moments later I felt her crying again. 'Does it ever go away?' She asked softly.

'Not completely, ' I answered knowing exactly what the "it" was, 'but it does get easier.'

I was not at all surprised at her next question. 'Why? Why my mother? Why not some bitch that deserves it?'

Naturally I had no answers other than to hold her tight as I felt her anger rise. I had been so often the recipient of that anger that it seemed surreal holding her naked body and willing it out. Just as I had years earlier, she ranted about the unfairness of it all. Her body was hardly still and wrapped around me as she was it created the expected physical reaction in mine.

It was impossible for me to hide it and I found myself feeling guilty to be aroused under the circumstances but despite all my best efforts couldn't control it.

Natasha froze as she became aware of me. I was just about to apologise when she pushed me on my back and in one movement mounted me. For the first time ever, probably the only time ever, my feelings at entering a woman were not centred on the bit of me doing the entering. I was concentrating on Natasha's face and her reaction. Anger was the only emotion that showed and her body was reacting with all the sharp movements associated with that emotion. She seemed totally oblivious to me.

Physically it was one of, if not the, most unsatisfying couplings of my life yet emotionally it was the strongest by far. I knew why Natasha was reacting as she did and I felt a mixture of emotions that it was with me. Guilt was there, but stronger were pride and even love, that she could let herself go that way with me.

One thing all these strange feelings did was enable me to last until Natasha came, which she did with the same intensity as the build up.

Natasha collapsed on top of me and in just a few moments was fast asleep. It was a long time before I joined her in dreamland.

It was still dark when Natasha's movement woke me.

The moment she saw that I was awake she started to apologise.

'What for? Natasha, you know just how many men would kill to be where I am now. Why do you feel the need to apologise?'

'But I used you. I was totally selfish.' She cried.

'Okay, let's say you did. You needed that release and I feel honoured that you felt that I was the one to provide it.'

'But... '

'No buts! Do you know that I felt more of an emotional attachment to you than to anyone else ... ever.'

She stared at me for a while as she absorbed my words. 'You mean that don't you?'

I nodded and as I did I saw yet more tears in her eyes. Seconds later she kissed me with just about every emotion possible that can be put into just the touching of lips.

It didn't take long before my cock hardened, nor did it take long for Natasha to feel that and make the necessary wriggles to seat me inside her. It's not the best position to make love, the woman lying flat on top of the man, but neither of us wanted to relinquish the feelings that contact brought us.

During the twenty or so minutes it took to reach a mutual climax, I don't think our lips parted once.

I guess I must have been the one to fall straight to sleep because the next thing I remember is hearing a knock on the door. It took a few moments to realise that the knock was on the bedroom door, not the front, and was accompanied by Petra's voice asking if I was awake.

'Come in.' Mumbled a sleepy Natasha.

The door opened and a very subdued Petra entered. My first thoughts were that she didn't like finding me in bed with her cousin but I quickly realised that her demeanour was down to her aunt's death. Petra just about acknowledged me before she and Natasha were crying together.

Leaving them to it, I stumbled into the kitchen to make a good strong brew and some toast.

Someone's timing was good as they came into the front room just as I entered it from the kitchen carrying a tray of tea and toast. I looked up and saw that Natasha was wearing one of my shirts and it seemed little else. I thought she looked fabulous and so sexy but that thought was driven away by guilt. Regardless of what had just happened between us, Natasha was a grieving daughter and such thoughts were inappropriate.

She saw the tray and smiled at me before giving me a soft and tender kiss. The way she did it so nonchalantly reminded me so much of the way my parents would often kiss. I couldn't decide whether the love that I felt shoot through me was because of that memory or just for Natasha.

'Thank you.' Petra said once Natasha had returned to my bedroom to dress.

Just for once, I didn't need to ask what she meant. I knew what her cousin meant to her.

'You need to get dressed too.' She told me and seeing that this time we were back to usual where women were concerned, she explained. 'Nat will want you to go with her.'

I then went to my room where Natasha was almost fully dressed. Almost, but not quite, so once more I found myself admiring her body however inappropriate the timing.

'Do you want me to come with you?'

She ran and hugged me. 'Please. How did you know ... Petra of course.'

Once dressed, I grabbed my aluminium sticks and went out to Natasha's car.

Once we'd arrived at Natasha's home, or should that be mansion, she clung to me as if I was going to run off. When Petra gave her a questioning look she said that I needed the support. I wasn't going to argue either way.

Henry/Ian showed us to Mr. Kopolova's study. As I entered the room, still joined at the hip by Natasha, I saw him sitting in a chair, almost identical to that he'd been sitting in at his club. His face was pale but his eyes looked the worst, devoid of anything. Empty that is, until he saw me.

'David! What are you doing here.'

Seeing the complete shock on his face, I guessed that his daughter's visits to me had been kept a secret, or maybe given the situation with his wife, it just hadn't sunk in.

'I brought him Daddy!' Natasha said softly before releasing me and rushing over to her father.

In seconds they were both in tears and hugging each other.