The Accidental Lover

by wordytom

Copyright© 2010 by wordytom

Humor Sex Story: You know how it goes. Mom and son accidentally connect in the shower. Attacks of conscience by her, attacks of horniness by him. She gets pregnant and he lives happily ever after. Now how real can you get?

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including mt/Fa   Consensual   Drunk/Drugged   Heterosexual   Humor   Incest   Mother   Son   Oral Sex   .

The Great Shower Adventure

"Keep a cool tool there, fool. I'm wise to the rise in your Levis," my mom told me. A half hour after we had two unplanned orgasms in my bathroom. She swung around when she said that and almost smacked me in the crotch with the hot skillet.

"Jesus!" I exclaimed and backed up. That was the aftermath of the first time Mom and I changed our lifestyle. The whole change took almost a year...

What had happened was too goofy to explain in any way that sounded believable. It was almost seven AM and Mom's shower wouldn't spray hot water. It had been giving her a little trouble and she meant to have it fixed fix it, but ... My mother's basic philosophy was, "If it kind of works, keep using it till it's broke all the way, then fix it."

The stupid shower had a bad mixing valve. The hot water side of the valve got plugged up a bit at a time until finally it wouldn't spray any hot water at all and Mom is not a cold shower person. The way she figured it was my shower still worked just fine and she could call the plumber later on in the day. No problem.

Like so much of her "womanly logic" she was so proud of, she didn't think things through. She neglected to tell me she was going to use my shower. Rather than wake me a couple of minutes early and tell me she needed to use my shower, she got her things ready and commandeered my bathroom.

It was like she told me later that day, "I just wanted you to get your sleep in. You looked so cute on your back with your mouth open to catch stray bugs I hated to wake you."

Anyway, my alarm went off, I got out of bed with my usual morning hard on and staggered half asleep into my bathroom. My cock never bent down worth a damn when it was hard so I had learned it was simpler and easier on my cock to piss in the shower. Hey, females have gotten grossed out at the idea of guys pissing in the shower for many years and guys just keep doing what's expedient. I knew that at fifteen I was not about to take a chance my favorite pull toy got broke or bent because I forced it down enough to make it possible to piss in the stool.

When I opened the door, Mom said, "Hey."

"I said, "Huh?" and took two steps and bounced her off my belly.

We both fell and I ended up about an inch inside her. "Eeek!" she squeaked and struggled to get up off of me and me out of her. She slipped and sat back down hard. Now I was buried up inside her as far as I could go.

"Mom?" I asked. Too much had happened too fast for my tiny teen brain to process.

She squirmed and struggled to get off me and I got off in her as a result. "Chris!" she yelled when she felt me empty myself inside her. Then she got a crinkly smile on her face and cooed, "Oh Chris."

By the time she said, "Oh Chris," I was wide awake and said, "Oh shit," and went soft.

When I came it got my mom off. They both, her orgasm and mine shocked us both. "Help me straighten my legs out, please," she told me in a prim and proper voice.

I was still in shock and automatically answered, "Okay." Her legs were cramped under me and she needed help to get untangled. I tried to help her and started to get hard again. There I was still buried in her, kind of between hard and soft.

However, all that squirming around while I was still inside her felt real good. I got all the way hard again and she felt the change. She started to get that goofy, crinkly grin again and I got scared. I was in uncharted waters and didn't know how to act.

Hey, let's face it. Guys just don't go around and lay pipe to their own mothers. I hear the Arabs and Mexicans do that shit, but us real authentic American guys don't. Well, at least none of my friends ever admitted they did the deed with their moms.

Well, Jesse Fargo did his sister Sharon regularly. I know that for a fact because I caught them at it and Sharon started to give me some too so I wouldn't tell on them. However that was the only case of incest I ever personally knew about. The three of us fooled around our whole junior year and then their family got messed up.

Any way, when Mom started to get that crinkly-lipped smile again, I felt her cum and it triggered a second orgasm for me. I strained and rose up enough so she could free her legs. I pushed and struggled and got her up in the air enough that she was able to stand.

After we got untangled, Mom got back in the shower. I waited until she had cleaned herself out and left my toilet. In the meantime, I pissed in the toilet after she and I got untangled. After all, after I got off two times in a row, my cock was soft. I showered and tried to figure out what just happened. One part of me wanted to go for a third helping and another part of me felt real queasy that it had happened in the first place.

"Am I a mother fucker?" I asked myself aloud.

"No," a voice in my head said, "It was an accident."

Then a third voice in my head said, "Once would be an accident. Twice makes the accident theory very doubtful. Then the fact I want to go again argues only the first time was an accident."

Then I remembered the expression on Mom's face when I ... no, make that we came together. Her second time wasn't much of an accident either.

"Shit! This is too much for me to handle." I showered, dried off and got dressed. Then I headed downstairs to face the music.

Mom was in the kitchen already. She looked jumpy as a flea in a hot skillet, as the saying goes. "Ah Chris," she tried to begin. Man she looked like a deer caught in the headlights and all those other metaphors thrown in as well.

"Ah ... what Mom?" I probably resembled a few metaphors as well. Then I realized all she had on was her robe and nothing else under it. My wandering mind wandered and I thought again about what happened in the shower. My teenaged hormones kicked in and my hard on returned with a vengeance.

That was when she said, "Keep a cool tool, fool. I'm wise to the rise in your Levis."

"Mom, I'm not wearing ... Oh." I realized she was trying to use a little joking in serious humor to defuse the situation before it exploded in our faces.

"From now on, you keep that thing aimed away from me. You just stay with Sharon and her brother, okay?"

"Oops." I looked down and saw that my cock stuck straight out in front of me and made a bulge in my tennis shorts. Shorts and a tee shirt were my normal school clothes. I didn't realize she knew about Sharon and her brother.

"Oh honey," Mom started. Then she began to cry.

"Mom!" I exclaimed and held her close to me. I tried to comfort her and hug her. I stroked her head and rubbed my cheek against her face. After a while she stopped crying and pushed me away.

Then another thought struck her. "You're not screwing Jesse too, are you?"

After a few seconds, she had another thought and shuddered, "He's not screwing you, is he?"

I could almost hear her thoughts right then. I believe she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and let us have a few more "shower accidents" happen if it would save me from a life of depraved homosexuality with Jesse. My pride answered before I thought things through. "Hell no, Mom."

"Oh," she said. I think she was half disappointed right then. I do believe that Mom wanted a little incest in her own life. At that time she surely wasn't getting laid otherwise. Well, not right then, anyway.

Mom was between boyfriends right then. One of her little secrets was that she also liked to be in between her boyfriends as well. My mother loved sandwiches when she was the filling. I had walked in on her a few times in my young life.

Her last two lovers were married and forgot to tell her about their wives. Somehow the wives found out, compared notes and went after Mom. By the time the smoke cleared, Mom was out of lovers. The two wives got a little turned on at the idea and began a four-way relationship that left Mom alone and with a trashed reputation.

So there we were, all embarrassed, horny and in no way willing to go for third helpings, no matter how much we both desired it. "Mom, I'm sorry. It was an accident," I told her.

Then the phone sounded and broke the moment. "Hello?" I said.

"This is Sharon. My dad caught Jesse and me in bed together. He beat up Jesse real bad and was arrested. Jesse is in the hospital and our mother won't let me go back to school until the bruises on my legs disappear."

"You want me to come over and keep you company?" Other than the sex part, I really liked Sharon.

"No Chris," she told me in a firm voice. I don't ever want you to touch me again. I only let you have some to keep you from telling my folks on us. Since they know, I don't have to let you have any, any more."

That hurt. I really liked Sharon and told her I wanted to keep being friends even if she never let me have sex with her again. "Well shit, Sharon, I thought you really liked me. I like you and well, I still want to be your friend, no matter what."

"Yeah, I like you too, Chris. The thing is I want to save it all for Jesse and maybe have his baby. If you're around it kind of spoils things for us. Okay? Mother has been acting real funny around us this morning." She sounded like she meant it so I agreed. Then I thought about what Sharon said about how her mother was acting "real funny" and wondered if maybe...

When I hung up, Mom saw my sad face and asked me, "What happened? Is everything all right?"

"No, Sharon and Jesse just dumped me. Their dad beat them up and was arrested. Sharon wants to only be with Jesse right now. Shit, but I feel lousy right now."

"Oh honey," Mom said and came up behind me and hugged me. I turned around to hug her back and poked her in the crotch with my hard on. After the episode in the shower, I just couldn't stay soft.

"It was Mom's turn to say, "Oh shit. Honey we have to do something about that thing."

"Yeah?" I asked, a little hope in my voice.

"Down Boy," she told me. "We are not going there again. Let me get ready for work. You eat your breakfast and get ready for school. Let me think about it today."

"Mom, didn't you like it?" I asked, referring to the shower incident. "I know you're my mother and all that, but I liked what happened a lot.

She gave me a sad, loving look and answered, "Honey, I liked it a lot. No, I loved it a lot."

"So, what's the problem?" My brains liked the simple approach to problems. I liked it when I came in her. She seemed to love it when I came in her. So what's the problem? Somehow, me becoming a mother fucker lost all its importance. My cock head never did reason well.

"Chris honey, after I showered and dried off, I came down her and made coffee. I was so ashamed of what I had allowed to happen I wanted to die. Oh, it was so wrong. Can you forgive me?" She began to sob.

Damn! This was not going the way I wanted it to, especially with Sharon out of my life. "Uh Mom," I had to try anyway.

She looked up at me with her sad eyes. "What Honey?"

"Well, could we at least fool around a little?" She gave me a look like I had just peed in her tennis shoes and walked away. I shrugged and sat down to eat breakfast. Hey, I was hungry.

I guess I better tell a little about why there was just Mom and me in out house. Mom's dad started to fuck her when she was nine years old and never stopped until she left the house to go to college. They were the standard Mormon family with a few non-standard items thrown in to liven things up.

Her mother had her and that was it. She refused to ever have sex again, at least with her husband. Mom had heard whispers about grandma and a select few members of the Women's Relief Society and how they got together for mutual relief.

Grandpa was a member of the bishopric and got around among other church members' wives and kept his hungers taken care of until he got caught with the stake president's wife and daughter.

The holy shit hit the celestial fan, so to speak, and grandpa had one hell of a lot of repenting to do. He repented, stayed on as a member of the bishopric and life went on. Mormons are famous for the amount of repenting they do in a lifetime of righteous living. Hell, he even kept his temple recommend.

In fact that's the difference between the Mormons and the Catholics. Mormon priests repent and forget about it. On the other hand, Catholic priests get transferred to greener pastures and new choirboys.

Any way, after a couple of months of abstinence, Grandpa looked his only daughter over and decided she needed to learn to be a good little Mormon. He ate her out, got her to go down on him and swallow until the day he started to have full sex with her. Mom liked it so what the hell?

Life went on and everybody was happy. Grandma went nuts and ended up in the state hospital. She finally figured out that Grandpa figured incest was best and couldn't handle it. I guess she wanted Grandpa to turn queer like her.

Mom told me this over the years, a bit at a time when she had been drinking at home or came home drunk. She never married because her lusty appetites drove most men away. Then there were the few times she brought someone home with her.

This usually happened when she was drunk, horny and had been out dancing. She learned to repent from the best of then, Grandpa. Any way, she always was sorry and swore never again and life went on until the incident in the shower.

After the shower adventure, things slowly got back to normal and Mom began to date again. However, she made me keep my distance. I never hit on Mom again because she made it real clear she wanted no part of my cock, in her or rubbing against her.

Over the years, the memories of her pleasures with Grandpa turned to embarrassment and then to shame as Mom got out of Utah and interacted with mainstream America. By the time I was ready to go to school my mother swore incest was a work of the devil. She became pretty fucked up over the years as her guilt, shame and memories of Orgasms past all merged together.

Then just as life got settled down, shit happened all over again. Another jealous wife caught mom and the woman's hubby in his van fucking up a storm. The woman dragged Mom out of the van naked and took off in a cloud of dust while naked hubby tried to get dressed and apologize and make up for his first intemperate words when wifey caught them.

The guy and mom were going at it like a herd of monkeys with no holds barred when the side door of his van opened up and a woman screeched, "Henry, what are you doing?"

I guess Henry was a bit of a smart ass, because he answered, "getting what I can't get at home, satisfying sex."

She screeched, "I don't have to give you satisfying sex, we're married."

Then the wife, a two hundred pound heifer that looked like she was ready for the pro wrestling circuit, grabbed Mom and dragged her out of the van naked. At least Henry was able to throw her purse out before the van door slammed shut and the van took off. "Bitch," the built like a moose wife yelled as she drove away.

Mom, more than a little drunk, staggered over and got in her car and started the engine. She drove home naked and staggered into the house. She passed out and I found her like that when I came downstairs to see who came in the house. I rolled her over on her back and wondered what to do next.

I remember the phrase, "Waste not. Want not," went through my horny little brain. There my mom was, spread out on her back, legs spread apart, eyes closed and out of it. There I was in my underwear, sporting a hard on. Go for it, I decided.

Mom's eyes opened wide. She looked at me, thankfully still in my skivvies, and said, "Go out to the car and get my purse and keys."

When I got back into the house, Mom was no longer naked on the floor. I figured maybe next time.

The next morning she told me, "Thank you for being a gentleman. I had too much to drink and..."

"That's okay, Mom. I'm only here to serve you."

"Hey, smart ass, I'm still not too old to kick your butt." That made me look at her butt and I decided I'd like to kiss hers and not kick it.

After that incident in the van, Mom settled down and stopped dating for a while. She sold business machines, copiers, business systems and best of all, anti-Microsoft programs that worked without Uncle Bill and his idiot minions' help.

Mom put her pent up energy into her selling instead of romance and began to bring home some great bonus checks. This meant she slipped an extra hundred or so into my checking account and life went on as good as could be expected for a teen who lost his sex partner, Sharon, and couldn't hook up with anyone else.

Two things worked against me. First, since it came out that Jesse and Sharon fucked together, anyone who was part of their sex lives, or even was friends with them, was shunned by the so-called "nicer" kids.

Also, one of Mom's married sex partners, that she had no idea was married, had kids attending my school. The dude's daughter screamed and yelled at me that my mom was a home wrecker and her younger brother tried to whip my ass.

That meant nobody at school wanted to have anything to do with me. Now that sucked big time. I mean that sucked real big time. I'd never been one of the in-crowd and I never wanted to be. However, when Dotty Brown told our physics teacher she wanted another work partner and he said he could understand why. After that she worked alone and I worked alone.

Dotty failed the class and I got a grudging A plus from the asshole teacher. At least he graded fair. "You made me fail," Dotty yelled at me when we got our report cards for that quarter.

"Hey, I can't help it if you're too dumb to learn the material," I yelled right back. So she slapped me and I got suspended for fighting.

Mom went to school with me the next day and laid into the principal. "You suspended my son for fighting when he was the one who got attacked by a fat bimbo nobody."

Mister Higgins tried to take the high road. "There was violence, your son was involved and I suspended him."

"You are in real deep doo-doo here," Mom told him.

"Oh, I suppose you're going to sue me, so go ahead." He looked down his nose at her and smirked.

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