Chapter 3

Even More More Rants

Hmmmm ... I don't know what's going on anymore. I thought I had more rants saved than this. Oh well. It's gonna be a loss for some Internet Lit. major fifty years from now when she's trying to put together a Ph.D. on the "Romantic Period" of the Erotic Renaissance. Bad enough we've all forgotten how to write a real letter and now rely on email shorthand, short-stroking the English language to get half-witted, ill-considered, stillborn thoughts onto our blogs so that other idiots can respond before they think about it too much.

Am I being too hard on blogs? U2 is communicating to me personally via Twitter, Bono asking me why the hell I'm not in Bulgaria protesting illegal logging. Paris Hilton invited me to her celebrity fondu party on Facebook. Lindsey Lohan got drunk and knocked up by a transsexual lesbian after selling her ass on Craig's List for used forty! Is the internet evil? Like a fuckin' donut, man.

But who I am I to talk, she says as she posts another old blog ... You wanna cum in my Rubbermaid Party?

Bored

2010-05-05

I have some time to kill, but nothing much to do really. I'd like to rant about something, but I'm pretty content at the moment, so nothing occurs to me.

I'd post a story, but I left my flash drive in the Rover and I have no idea where Mario went. He's my driver/body guard guy and I told him I needed a new light bulb so he's probably driving 50 kilometers away to find me one. I'd call him to find out exactly where he is and tell him I changed my mind because this internet isn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be, but I don't have any load in my celphone.

So, hmmm ... have you seen the big pedo thing in Lazeez's blog? Now that's a real issue and I've written pedo stories, but only as jokes. Preteens aren't people, they're more like stuffed animals ... especially in porn. I've never read a story with a believable pre-teen character in it yet. I didn't even bother to try in mine. Who needs all that crying?

They could get rid of all the pedo stories tomorrow and I wouldn't shed a tear, but then I'd worry about bestiality and any other fetish that isn't popular and what might happen to those. So censorship is bad in principle and I have to bow to that and wish people who frequent porn sites would grow some tolerance.

I mean, doesn't that seem strange? We're not talking about Born Again Christians, we're talking about some perverted porn freaks who just don't like a certain fetish. Fuck you! I don't like yours either. What do you like? Harem stories? Puke! Mind Control? Vomit! Mind control stories where the sixteen year old boy ends up with a private jet, 50 hot cheerleaders sucking his nuts, and saving the world from aliens while he goes back in time to fuck his own grandmother in the butt?

That's a nightmare and I wish Lazeez would pull all those stories!!

Ah ... Just kidding. I wrote one of those and it was okay. But still, anyone who registers on a porn site and then bitches about content is a moron. In fact, he/she is a hypocritical moron. If it was my site, I wouldn't want you for a customer. I wouldn't want your money because I can always sell blowjobs for foodstamps before I have to sell my soul and cater to freaks like you! You're the porn.

Like War, Religion, Politics, Coca-Cola, and the Industrial-Entertainment Complex ... You're the enemy which can't be fought. Can't be defeated. Can't be negotiated with nor bribed, blackmailed, or beguiled away from your mindless mission. That's right, you're Paris Hilton and proof that Darwin isn't quite as smart as he thought he was. It isn't all in the genes, after all ... I blame your parents and the television set that raised you.

Coming to a porn site and crying foul? I dunno, maybe the stories found here will someday be found in the Cotton Falls Public Library, right between "Charlotte's Web" and "The Satanic Verses" but until then ... We're browsing the seedy underbelly of mainstream America (and elsewhere) and the only thing we're really missing isn't censorship, it's a big, black Pimp Daddy to beat down the fools who never should have left the green pastures of Middle Earth Suburbia.

Okay, my ride's here and I guess that's a rant, kinda. Hopefully I offended the people who deserve it in addition to everyone else. This post will self destruct in almost exactly 16 hours.

rache

Sin Bravely

2009-07-09

Ummm ... Oh!

In the synopsis for this story (at least one version of each) I mentioned the word "critics" and that may have been a slight exaggeration as the only person polled prior to posting was myself, but they say the harshest critic is always oneself, so ... I figured it was okay since that is pretty much my honest opinion. Please also note that I'm assuming the only people fucking in your family are those old enough to view adult materials. If that isnt the case, well ... You have bigger problems than me!

Okay, let's see blog note, eh?

First of all, coming up with a synopsis for this story was a real pain, mostly because it isn't told in a traditional style. I began with first person narrative from Cindy's perspective and used flashbacks to tell the story. Those flashbacks became longer and longer until they actually became the story and the first person narrative fades away. How well that actually works, I'm not too sure. I'm actually typing this before writing the last chapter or two though, so I'm hopeful that it'll prove entertaining enough, and the story is interesting enough, that readers wull overlook my odd desires to do things the "hard way" so to speak.

Second of all, this story is taken kind of from the heart of a much larger piece and some readers will recognize that and wonder if it's deja vu or just a re-run ... a little of both for you guys, but once again, I'm hoping the as-yet-to-be-written ending will make up for that ... The end won't fit in the other, original story, by the way ... Weird how that works. Of course for most readers nothing in this paragraph makes any sense whatsoever, does it?

I do that a lot ... Stop making sense, I mean. Burning down the house too, but my girlfriend is better than yours, especially when she takes me to the river ... but that's a wild, wild life during wartime ... are you keeping up? Most people don't know I'm really David Byrne, but it does explain quite a bit. Don't you think?

Ummm ... Thirdly, just because there should be another point I want to make, uh ... Oh! There is a brief male/male scene and I thought about coding it, but the fact is that I counted all the words and there's 71645 of them and the scene in question is 324 words long and if I divide those numbers ... hold on a second ... That's 00.45% of the total, which means 99.55% of the story has no male-male sex in it at all and if someone gets to those three paragraphs and isn't already invested enough in the story to accept the fact that sometimes drunken men do things to please their girlfriends that they wouldn't normally do 99.55% of the rest of the time ... well, you probably shouldn't be reading porn anyway, much less a story with a real plot.

That's just my opinion. Things happen and rather than code such a minor scene and suggest that the entire story is about male-male sex (which it plainly isn't) I decided to forego the code. See, that's the problem with codes. They can't be weighted, there's no justification, no rationale allowed. And some people insists that it must be coded, every little thing, and this is a perfect opportunity for me to demonstrate why that isn't necessarily true ... God! I feel a rant coming on. Shhhh ... Anyway, I did foreshadow that scene in a previous chapter and so it shouldn't be too great a shock even for the most homophobic closet Rock Hudson out there. You guys crack me up..."Yeah, but lesbians are hot!" heh! Okay, shut the fuck up, rache ... blah blah blah

People are lucky I code my stories at all.

What else? Anything? There may or may not be a Prologue to explain exactly who Cindy is and where she came from, I haven't decided yet and in any case, it's largely unimportant to the story anyway. I kind of like the mystery as it sits, but it depends on how my last couple chapters work out too.

The best defence is a good "So?"

Anyways, uhhh ... Lastly ... I'm throwing this up as "Premier Membership Exclusive" just because I'm sorta into that for some reason. Don't ask me why, I think I just like that shade of yellow. Itlooks really cool. So, SOL is the only place anyone will ever find this particular version of that particular story. Okay?

Love,

rache

I feel a little arrogant...

2009-07-13

Anonymous to me

show details 4:58 am (14 hours ago)

My Reply to that reply - Heh! Actually, I feel a lot arrogant and if I put my arrogance away, I wouldn't have the balls to post anything. It is give and take and I seem to be doing a lot of giving, aside from taking some wonderful emails ... and some not so wonderful emails. I do appreciate those, seriously, but that's the only thing. I mean, I turn scoring off ... No joy there for me. It's a reader toy. I get reviewed once in awhile, but I know all the reviewers anyway, so it's nice, but rare and not amazingly special.

Yep. Emails and caffein shakes really are the only things that I get in return, and since I don't get emails before posting a story, I guess I need a little arrogance in my fuel tank to push me up the steep and rocky road to a cold, grey summit where I think I might actually have something worth putting in public. Yeah, Ego is what drives us to do that. Not just me, but any author. You can write all day long, but throwing your efforts to the winds of public opinion takes ego and the font of arrogance.