The Omega Touch - Swimsuit Spectacular!

by Lazarus Valentine

Copyright© 2010 by Lazarus Valentine

Humor Story: This was originally going to be just a silly blog post, but it grew, and grew, and mutated... And then it needed artwork. Following the grand tradition of comic books featuring sexy women, there must be a “Swimsuit Spectacular” issue. In this story, Tricia, Annie, Sandy, and Snow put on bikinis, hang about a pool, and show off their acting skills and other valuable assets in this tribute to SpacerX's “Six Times a Day”.

Tags: Humor   Superhero  

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Dear Reader,

Like you, I too am a huge fan of SpacerX's epic erotic fantasy "Six Times a Day." And like all other fans, I find myself getting just a little impatient about a month or so after a part comes out, wondering when the next part is going to come out. Of course I fully understand that the story does take a lot of time and effort for him to produce, and every moment that passes only increases the quality of the work when it does eventually come out. So I try to be patient.

But like all other fans, my patience does have its limits. And when other fans lose patience and post on his website the inevitable question that triggers the inevitable response ("When is the next part coming out?" "When it's ready!"), I don't do that. No, you see, I have my own resources to draw upon in times of desperation. I have my own actors and actresses, my own imagination, and I know where his sets are. And I figure if I want to see another part of "Six Times A Day" come out, well dammit, I'm going to have to write one myself.

So I did.

So, relax, sit back, loosen your pants, and prepare yourself for another trouser-rousing part in the epic erotic fantasy "Six Times A Day". And even though I did use different actresses to play his characters, pay no attention to any slight character deviations you may see. I doubt you will see anything, as my actresses are professionals, and quite talented in many areas. Any similarity you see in these characters and those you may have seen in my previous writing is strictly a projection of your own imagination.


(p.s. Yes, SpacerX did give me permission to do this. What a guy! Thanks Spacer!)


Part 77.9 : Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

"Oy! Mein yaitser lozt meer nisht shlufn!" Susan Plummer slurred as she lay out in the lounge chair next to the backyard pool, looking gorgeous and stunningly appropriate in anime style. She rubbed herself under her bikini bottom, probing the last place she had left her vagina, and caressed one full breast under the tight cup of her swimsuit top. "Oh Alan..." she moaned. "So horny. Can't sleep," she translated for the benefit of the gentiles.

She delicately pinched her hard nipple, sending a relieving and pleasing thrill through her body. "So hot... Ikh hob tse deer a yaitser!" she moaned. Susan squirmed on the lounge chair, panting and dreaming of her hot son, his hot body, and his hot, hard cock. "Ohhhhh ... Want you! Now!"

She looked over at the back door of the house and seeing no-one there, let out a frustrated moan and grabbed the cordless phone next to her. She punched a few numbers randomly and held the phone to her ear. "Suzanne! Get your tukhes over here! I need to tell you how hot my zindeleh is! And bring a wheelbarrow or something. I don't feel like walking today!" She closed her phone and resumed pleasuring herself.

A few minutes later, as if on cue (because it WAS her cue), Suzanne Pestridge danced out the back door of the house. She was wearing nothing but a skimpy red bikini which barely held on to her voluptuous bouncing breasts. Her long hair whipped about wildly as she swung to the salsa beat that blared from the ear-buds of her IPod, except for one long lock of hair that was duct-taped in a zig-zag pattern over her left breast because ... well, let's face it ... the way those puppies were bouncing, Scotch tape would not have worked.

"¡Hola mi amiga!" Suzanne sang out to her friend, pulling the ear-buds out.

"Suzanne! Get your pasty-white hinterkhaylek over here!"

Suzanne glanced down over her own bronzed body and struck an attitude pose.

"Say what?"

Susan frowned, and peered over her glasses, examining her friend's now-caramel-colored form.

"So? What happened to you? Run out of milk?"

Suzanne scoffed and sauntered over to her friend. "Ahh ... Slight accident with a bottle of spray-on tan and a microwave oven." She pulled up the nearest chair and sat in it. "Nothing I want to talk ab..." She noticed the chair she was sitting in, sheepishly got out of it, rolled it aside, and pulled up a lounger. She lay down next to Susan and stretched out luxuriously. "Nothing I want to talk about. So!" She eyed her friend as she grabbed the sun-tan lotion. "You wanted to say something about Alan?"

"Oy! My favorite subject! My Alan! He is SO HOT!"

"HOW ... HOT ... IS HE?" Suzanne intoned, loud enough to be heard by those readers who are old enough to remember this particular Johnny Carson bit. She casually squeezed out a generous amount of lotion onto her hands and started smearing the cream over her body, completely ignoring the contractual obligation that all sun-tan lotion was to be applied by another person in an erotic fashion.

Susan's mouth dropped open. She glared at Suzanne. Suzanne grinned and continued to nonchalantly apply sun-tan lotion. Susan glanced at her script, back at Suzanne, back at her script again, and back at Suzanne again.

"You're improvising early."

Suzanne shrugged and smiled, smearing lotion over her arms.

Susan sneered at Suzanne. "He is so hot..." she started.


"He is so hot, that when he gets into a hot-tub, they don't have to turn it on."

Suzanne grimaced and shook her head. "Nah. You can do better than that. Try again."

Susan groaned, and glared at her friend again. She took a deep breath. "He is SO hot, he melts through latex condoms and has to use aluminum foil instead."

Suzanne winced and held up two fingers. "Two things: One, meh! And two, ow!" She shook her head again. "One more try."

Susan fumed. Suzanne gave her an encouraging look. "Come on! You can do it. I believe in you! How hot is Alan? Give me a good one!"

Susan took a deep exasperating breath and blew it out. She thought hard, and rolled onto her side. She peered over her glasses and eyed Suzanne with determination.

"Alan is SO hot..."

Suzanne waited. "Yes?"

Susan stared her friend down. " ... that he had to switch from K-Y to Pennzoil High-Performance!"

"BINGO! We have a winner!" Suzanne shouted. "Knew you could do it!"

Susan giggled as she rolled back onto her back. She glanced at her script. "Where were we?"

"I don't care," said Suzanne, smearing lotion over her legs.

"Oh! Here! Oh, where is my tiger? Mein mekheiyeh! This momma needs some hot loving!" She glanced at Suzanne curiously. "You don't suppose he's playing tsing in tsingl with two trollop daughters of ours, do you?"

Suzanne shook her head. "Nah. They're not coming home with him today. In fact, I think they should be here any moment now."

The two sexy and voluptuous women immediately turned their attention to the back door of the house, awaiting the arrival of their two trollop daughters.

And waited.

And waited.


Katherine and Amy suddenly stumbled out of the back door. They were both still inexplicably in their cheerleader uniforms. Katherine bounced out of the house with a "Hi Mom! Hi Mother!" and cartwheeled across the deck, sliding into a split on the wooden floor. "Taa-daa!" she fanfared, and posed. "Is my big battle-staff brother home yet?"

"Not yet," said Susan.

Katherine grumbled and shrugged. "Oh well." She back-flipped, spun around, and suddenly managed to be standing straight up again. "Any more sun-tan lotion?" she asked as she walked around the pool, pulling her cheerleader uniform top off.

Amy, looking a little greener than normal, drifted towards the pool. Her eyes went wide as she stared at the water. Her mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"They have a POOL!!!" she exclaimed.

Everyone frowned at Amy. Susan spoke up. "Um, yes dear. We have a pool. You knew that, remember?"

Amy just let out an intense scream of excitement and kicked both feet up in the air, releasing a flurry of snowflakes in the process. "EEEEEEE!!!" She clenched her fists tight, radiated, and shook in glee. Her cheerleader uniform shattered from the strain and fell from her body, leaving her stark naked.


"Uh-oh..." Katherine uttered as she calculated the splash radius.

Amy leaped about twenty feet into the air, spinning and flipping. She spread her arms wide into a swan dive position, and plummeted.

"IOWA! NO! DON'T..."


"AAAHHH!!" "EEEEKK" "AAAAGGHH" VVVRRAMMM! The others all screamed as icy slush sprayed out in all directions. Suzanne jumped out of her lounge chair, shrieking as the stinging chilly water splashed over her. Susan remained in her lounge chair, cringing behind her script.

"AAUUGHH! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" shrieked Suzanne, her teeth chattering. "THAT'S FREEZING!"

Amy's head broke the surface of the water into several large chunks. "No it isn't!" she called out. "It's great! Come on in!" She playfully splashed some water towards her mothers. The water droplets shattered and skittered across the deck. "The water's fine!"

Katherine, who was somehow back inside the house again, poked her head out the back door. "Is it safe yet?"

Susan shivered in her lounge chair. "C-c-could you g-g-get us s-s-some t-t-towels? P-p-please?"

"And an ice-sc-sc-scraper?" added Suzanne. Katherine nodded and went back inside.

Amy breast-stroked to the side of the pool and pulled herself out. "Oh, you two are no fun!" She casually sat on the side and picked icicles off her leg. "What's the point of having a pool if you don't use it?"

"Could you have at least given us a little warning first?" asked Susan.

Amy gave her an indignant look. "I gave you a warning! Just what did you think 'kowabunga' meant?"

Katherine emerged from the house carrying a bundle of towels. "Here you go," she said, passing towels to her mothers. She turned to her sister and handed her something. "Sorry. Southern California. They don't have ice-scrapers. Here. I found a spatula." Amy took the spatula, frowned at it, scraped it against her leg, shrugged, and started scraping ice off.

Susan looked a the soggy remains of her script. "Well, so much for this." She tossed the script aside. "We'll just have to wing it from here." She started toweling herself off. "So, Katherine. Tell me. Any luck getting that headband off today?"

"No, it's still pretty stuck," she said, pulling on her ever-present headband. "It won't even come off in the shower, which is good I guess. At least it gets cleaned." She frowned and sniffed the air. "Speaking of cleaning ... When do you think was the last time they cleaned the pool?"

"Part 13," said Suzanne. "And it wasn't this pool."

Katherine grinned and sat down next to Amy. She stuck a toe into the pool and shivered. "So, the pool hasn't been cleaned since Alan's dumped a few loads of hot sticky cum into it?"

Amy's eyes went wide.

Suzanne smiled. "No. How many loads do you think are in there?"

"Oh, must be dozens by now," said Katherine.

Amy's mouth dropped open in shock.

Susan chuckled to herself. "That's my boy! Isn't it so hot that he can just dump load after load of hot yummy..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE POOL HASN'T BEEN CLEANED?" Amy shouted. She turned to Katherine. "Did I just dive into a sperm bank? You know how easily I get knocked up! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Relax, Aims." Katherine smiled. "A lot of it was years ago. I don't think his swimmers have been treading water that long."

"And there's a filter," added Suzanne. "And chlorine."

"Plus, it's a different continuity," added Susan. "I'd doubt it would work. He's practically a different species."

Amy breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh ... good!"

Susan continued. "I mean, seriously. Alan could plow us all until next Rosh Hashana, pumping shot after shot of hot, steaming, spunk into our knishes, and nothing would happen. Oy! Why just the thought that my tiger has been shtupn all four of us, plus the entire cheerleading team and a teacher and a nurse ... just makes me ... SO HOT!"

"HOW ... HOT..."

"Oh, stop it!" -SLAP-

Katherine grinned. "So now that we've made a total mess of the pool area, should we all move this into the living room? Alan should be home soon! I can't wait to see my big nail-gun brother when he sees us all naked and assuming the position!"

Susan frowned at her legs. "And just how am I supposed to..."

Suzanne opened up her bikini top and dropped it to the ground. "We'll work something out." She glanced at the others. "Well come on! Whip them out, chicas! Alan's going to be home soon, and you know he likes his women naked and ready!"

Amy burst with joy at the suggestion. "Oh! Alan! Yes! This is going to be just so ultrasuperduperfirr ... ultrasuperterriff..."

Susan mouthed the word "Ultrasuperduperifficallytasicallywonderful" to Amy.

Amy scrunched up her face and tried again. "Ultrasuperduperiffical ... Oh fuck it! It's going to be nice. Let's go inside."

Katherine, Susan, and Suzanne all quickly stripped off their clothes while Amy eagerly chiseled off the last large chunk of ice from her groin. "Up! Up! Up!" Susan chanted, and Amy took her by the hand and guided her into the house, with Suzanne and Katherine following.

"Come on! Hurry up!" Katherine exclaimed as Amy and Suzanne helped Susan take her position next to the stripper pole. "He's almost here!" It took some work, but they managed to get Susan squatting on her knees while she braced herself on the pole. Then they all took their places in a line, squatting on the floor, naked, and waiting for their master.

They watched the front door anxiously. Katherine frowned.

"Shouldn't we be wearing those collars?"

"Bite your tongue!" Suzanne snapped. "I don't wear a collar!"

Amy giggled, and Susan rolled her eyes.

The front door opened, and Alan walked in. He took one look at the four busty (or three busty and one not-so-much) women and choked.

"OH! Um ... Wow! I um..."


As Alan stood in the doorway gawking at the four naked women, a small dog came running inside. Suzanne blinked and watched the dog. "Oh look! You brought ... a dog." She frowned. "Why did you bring a dog?"

"Well, I wasn't going to leave him in the car! It's hot out there!" Alan sniffed and winced. "And besides, he jumped out before I could grab him. He went nuts when we were about a block away. And now that I'm here, now I know why." He sniffed again. "We must have been downwind."

The dog ran around, sniffing and exploring. He checked out the furniture, playfully cold-nosed a couple crotches, and then proudly marked his territory on the stripper pole.

"Oh, no! No! No! NO!" Suzanne shouted.

Susan shrugged. "Ah, don't worry. They'll hardly notice it here. So Alan!" She grinned at her son and shook her shoulders. "What do you think?"

Alan looked back at the four naked women and jostled his head, as if trying to wake up. "Oh, wow ... Um ... yeah! Wow. For me?"

Suzanne winked at him and crooked her finger, beckoning him. "Come on over here, you stud."

"We're all for you," said Katherine. "Big SRB brother!"

"SRB?" asked Amy.

"Solid Rocket Booster. On the sides of the Space Shuttle fuel tank."

"Oh! Good one!"

"Well, um..." Alan grinned and shrugged. "Okay! Let's get this started!" He started unbuttoning his pants.


Everyone screamed, and Alan spun around, for the front door had been kicked open. Standing in the doorway was a buxom blond girl.

It was Christine Anderssen. The real one.

And she was pissed.

"Um, this isn't supposed to happen, is it? She's not in this script I got," said Alan.

"No. We're supposed to have this place until three," said Susan.

"We're busted," said Katherine.

"Hola, Christine!" said Suzanne with a smile. "So what brings you here? You know, we're all big fans of..."

"Just ... STOP IT!" Christine yelled, waving her hand at the five. "You're not supposed to be here, and believe me, you DON'T want to be here."

"I thought we had permission to be here," said Amy.

"No ... Not really," said Katherine.

"Love her hair! How does she do that, with those curls?"

"Not now, Iowa."

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