Chapter 9: Transit of Venus

The movie theatre, located on the main drag of their home town, was completely sealed to anyone not a member of the Sheill clan, their guests or specially selected staff. Mitch and Amelia sat in positions of honour, dead centre in the seating, their daughters on either side and their daughters' boyfriends next to them. In the row behind sat the preacher, his wife and two young boys from the family's church.

Uncle Charlie McInroy got up to the podium. Clearly nervous, he winged his speech. "So, folks. We're ready to show you what so many have worked so hard over the past six weeks to achieve."

The audience stirred nervously.

"When we started this project, we knew what we wanted to accomplish, and what we needed to. We NEEDED to show kids that nudity was nothing to be ashamed of, and that it was OK to be so where and when appropriate. We NEEDED to show kids that their bodies were normal and natural, and that they should ignore those stupid fashion magazines with their photoshopped, impossibly perfect images. We WANTED to create a show that moms and dads could be happy at letting their kids watch, and we WANTED the shows to be popular with our usual target audience, those under 14." He paused and adjusted his prescriptionless glasses perched precariously on the tip of his nose. "We think we've accomplished that. If you agree with us, then after this show we'll send a copy to the President herself, and set up an audience of kids and their parents to see if they like it too. If they do, then the marketing starts."

He shifted his body from behind the podium, and pointed to the audience. "I'd like to thank Tanya and Kim for all their efforts, for being good sports, and for helping keep the set relaxed and full of laughter." The audience clapped and cheered.

"And I'd like to thank all of you for giving us permission to start this little experiment. And with no further ado, on with the show!" He waved at the projection boot, and the video began to play across the screen.

As the closing credits from the final episode rolled up the screen and disappeared, the cheering and clapping began. Uncle Charlie came out on stage again.

"You all have two strips of cardboard, one green and the other red. If you think this is OK for prime time, hold up your green card now.

A sea of green, enough to gladden the heart of any Irishman, flowed into the seats.

"Thank you. Now, if you don't want this on prime time, hold up the red card now."

Not a hand went up, aside from two 6-year-olds sword-duelling with their green cards.

One of the cousins yelled out, "Hey, Tanya, why you not holding your red card up?"

She yelled back to everyone's amusement, "Two months ago, I would have."

Uncle Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. "Great, thank you all, ladies and gentlemen. I think this will be another wonderful season of 'Candy Canyon'. There's refreshments waiting for us in the lobby. See you real soon!"

Press announcement: "Sunshine Studios announces new Candy Canyon series"

Variety headline: "Candy goes Dandy!"

Television ad for the new "Candy Canyon" show:

A head shot of "Candy", showing her from the shoulders up and hiding in a bush: "Hey, kids, you won't believe this. Daddy and Uncle Jim decided to buy this resort and run it. But a surprise to me, it's a naturist resort! And, I'm going to be living here like full-time! I knew Uncle Jim and my cousin Cindy Canyon were nudists, but still, what a surprise!! Watch all of us as we learn all about living in the nude. It'll be a blast!!"

Print ad for "Candy Canyon": a shot of Tanya on her horse, with a naked 4-year-old delightedly patting the horse's nose as Tanya and the child's mother look down at it, both smiling happily, both completely nude.

Uncle Charlie and the Board of his company were ensconced in plush seats in the Sunshine Studios' theatre, reviewing advertisements to be shown on both the satellite channel and on the Candy Canyon time slot on the ABS network. Upon Uncle Charlie's signal to the projectionist, the lights dimmed and the first ad began playing.

Ad #1:

Product: Baby skin care products from Kinder-Care Baby Care.

Mother, face out of camera shot but definitely nude, changes baby's diapers using company's products, then picks up and cuddles her child. Slightly fuzzily out of focus, she sits in a rocking chair and starts to breast-feed, while on the left-hand side of the screen the product's logo and a picture of the packaging are displayed.

Ad #2:

Product: Milk, from the national marketing board.

Kids run up to Mom in their house for an after-school snack. Naked mother pours glasses of the product in question to cheers from her naked brood.

Ad #3:

Product: Family restaurant Arizona Anne's