Chapter 4: New Friends

Geometry was easy. I didn't know a few of the words like "Pythagorean" or "Euclidean", but as I thumbed through the book, everything was stuff I'd done as a young girl. It was basic.

"This seems very easy," I whispered to Renee. She scowled back.

The teacher was lecturing on parallel lines, and whenever she asked a question, I raised my hand. After the third correct answer, she stopped calling on me.

"Don't be a know-it-all," the dark-haired girl whispered.

The teacher droned on, ignoring me, calling on very stupid girls who stammered and missed the most basic points. I fidgeted. Then I took out a sheet of paper, wrote a note, and passed it to the dark-haired girl: What is your name?

She wrote back: Hannah Conner.

"Hi Hannah." I smiled at her and she smiled back. Her shy eyes darted about. I liked her. I liked her little skirt and her pale legs. And she caught me looking, but she didn't seem to mind. Her smile just got bigger. That made me squirm a little.

She'd been mean to me yesterday. She seemed very nice today.

The clock on the wall reached 9:54. The class put away their books and the teacher dismissed us.

As we shuffled into the hall, I asked, "Which way to our next class?"

"Back across the green," said Renee.

Hannah waved and said, "See you guys later."

"You have a different class?"

"Yeah. I'll see you at lunch though."

"Good."

I smiled, wanting to kiss her – or something – I was confused – but the hall was filled with other girls, and I'm sure it would've been strange. I reached and touched her hand.

"Bye."

"Yeah. Bye."

"Come on. We'll be late," said Renee.

We were crossing the green. Renee said, "So, you like Hannah?"

"Yes. I think so. She was mean to me yesterday, but you two are being very nice today."

"We didn't know you yesterday, and you were in my way."

She stopped and turned to me.

"Tyballa."

"Yes?"

"Don't ever get in my way."

She turned back and resumed walking. I followed.

She went on, "So, if you like Hannah it's cool. She's a nice enough girl."

"She's very pretty."

"She's pretty enough."

"Does she have a lot of girlfriends? I mean, do you all like girls or something?"

She stopped again. She turned and looked at me.

"Yes, some of the girls in this school like girls, and if they like girls, then I know about it. Got it?"

"I guess."

"Look, there are two things: first off, the teachers never find out what games we play. I make sure of that. There are rules. You understand?"

"Yes. I mean – what rules?"

"I'll explain later, just stuff to keep us from getting caught. Okay, also, some of the other girls know, who aren't into it. You can't keep everything secret, and – well – sometimes we try to recruit and the girl proves unwilling."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, if anyone blabs to a teacher, or talks shit about us, or gives us a hard time, she pays. Last girl to fuck up paid hard. You understand?"

"I think so."

"We stick together. If you're one of us, then you have to stay solid. You have to be prepared to do whatever is necessary."

"Like fighting?"

"Yeah, and more."

"More?"

"I won't say now, not until you've taken an oath, but this is a serious place. We're serious girls. Don't get me wrong, we have a lot of fun together, us girls, but when things get ugly, you have to be ready. Do you think you can handle that?"

The yard was emptying. Classes were about to start.

"Let's go," she said.

I walked beside her, thinking about what she'd said, and I wondered what she meant by "more"? Had she hurt girls? Badly?

But still ... Hannah was very pretty, and I wanted to kiss her very much. It would be nice to have friends, to have a place here, to make a future for myself with these girls. Renee was my roommate anyhow. I might as well be on her good side. And perhaps I could serve her well and return someday to my old life, instead of dying.

We entered the classroom.

"Girls, why are you late? Take your seats!"

It was Amanda Christensen. She gave me an unpleasant stare. Renee and I found seats together in the back row.

The class was reading a book called The Red Badge of Courage. I hadn't read it, or even heard of it, but I gathered that it was about a young man who had gone to war. The class discussed the nature of courage and cowardice, and the horror of war.

I'd seen war. I thought back to that day, to the short, brutal war my father had fought against the queen after I'd married her son and her intentions had become clear. I'd witnessed the final battle from high upon a grassy hill, from beneath a blossoming cherry tree, standing next to the queen. Blood didn't flow uphill. The queen had smiled.

"Tyballa!"

It was Ms. Christensen calling to me. I'd evidently not been paying attention.

"I'm sorry Ms. Christensen. What?"

"I know you haven't read the book, but I'd love to hear your comments on courage in war. Everyone else has given their opinion."

"Uh..."

What could I say? I didn't want to utter some banality, but Ms. Christensen stood and waited, and the class waited, each girl turning in her chair to look at me. I spoke.

"Courage is for the foot soldiers, and it's stupid, so you have to fool them with words like glory. If you're smart, you become a general or a captain, and you watch the battle from afar, and if your army loses, you flee and find another way to defeat your foe. Never stand and fight. Courage is stupid."

My father had refused to flee. He stood and fought as his army collapsed around him.

"That's very interesting, Tyballa."

I went on. "We're all the daughters of rich men. If we ever go to war, we must teach the foot soldiers the importance of glory, but we'll be the captains, or the wives of the captains. In pubic, we talk of glory, so the foot soldiers don't figure it out, but among ourselves, we should all know the truth."

The class got quiet. One girl muttered, "My brother is in Iraq." I didn't know what Iraq was.

Class ended and we began to shuffle out. Ms. Christensen spoke to me. "Tyballa, can you stay for a bit. I want to talk to you."

"Sure. But I'll be late."

"I'll write a note."

"I'm following Renee around today. We have the same classes."

"Oh?"

Ms. Christensen looked at Renee standing next to me. Renee arched her brows.

"Fine. I can write you both notes, but Renee, do you mind waiting outside."

"Sure," Renee said. As she left the room, she shot me a peculiar grin. The door closed behind her.

"So – uh – look, I'm sorry about how we left things this morning."

"Alright."

"So, are we cool? Are you okay?"

That morning, before we'd left, I'd chosen her outfit. I'd buttoned up her blouse. I'd kissed her as she pulled up her slate gray pencil skirt, feeling the stiff fabric against my skin.

We stood close, but not too close.

"I met another girl I like."

"Oh?"

"So I don't know what to do."

She looked at me. I tried to read her face, to see if she looked sad or angry, but nothing showed.

"Who is she?"

"Hannah Conner."

"Renee's friend? Oh Tyballa! Look, those girls ... they aren't very nice people."

"Oh? They seem nice."

She went and sat at her desk.

"Renee ... well Renee knows things. She uses them to hurt people. She knows about me, well, a little bit. Enough to make things difficult."

"Oh?"

"There was a girl last year. She ended up with Renee's gang after she'd been with me. I'm pretty sure she said things."

"I see."

"So, anyhow, Renee is getting an A in my class."

I wondered what an "A" was, and would I get one too? Sadness crept over her face.

"Well, Tyballa, I like you very much. But if you're with Renee's gang, you can't really be with me."

I paused for a bit, then said, "Can I think about things? Must I decide right now?"

"Of course not, sweetie. Think about things all you want. But please let me know. And Tyballa..."

"Yes?"

"Please don't tell her anything – about us."

As we descended the stairs, Renee asked, "So, what did you and Ms. Christensen talk about?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, nothing?"

"Yes."

"So, she just randomly asked you to stay after class?"

"She wanted to talk to me about the books I needed to read."

"Ah. Yeah, that's something she'd want me to wait outside for – Not!"

I said nothing.

"Fine. Keep your secret for now, but Tyballa ... I know all about Ms. Amanda Christensen and her – particularities. You can't keep secrets like that from me, so don't even try. Alright?"

"Fine."

"By the way, I'll make sure she gives you an A."

"Oh. Thanks."

We exited the building and stepped out onto the green. The sun was high in the sky.

"It's a nice day," Renee said.

"Yes, it is."

"Tyballa..."

She stopped and looked at me.

"Yes?"

"I know this seems weird, but we're gonna have a lot of fun together. I'm glad you're here."

"Thanks."

She smiled at me. She didn't smile very often.

After science class it was lunchtime. We met Hannah in the student lounge along with two of their other friends, a tall redhead, and a more or less plain looking girl with sandy brown hair.

"How were your classes?" Hannah asked.

"Fine, thank you. How were yours?"

Hannah smiled. "Same as always."

Renee sent the sandy-haired girl to get us all something from the snack machine. Then we sat down, me next to Hannah on a big puffy green couch, Renee opposite in a red lounge chair. The redhead also sat next to me.