Chapter 5

Revekah lay back on her bed and thought about that statement. Somehow the thought of love was even more disturbing than the thought of sex. "I thought you said that sex was."

"Human sexual pleasure is very intense. But love, it has depth and strength. I have not found a race that does not experience love and value it above all other things."

"Do Traveler's believe in god?"

"Do we believe that there was a single all knowing creator intelligence that is responsible for all that happens in the universe, a creator that made us and you and all other living things? No, that theory never was a part of any Traveler mythos. In fact, we know that there was a creator race. We have found evidence that there was a race that planted the seeds of life throughout the universe."

"What?" Revekah's voice was shocked and incredulous.

"They came through this universe long ago and left behind the seeds. All life has some very basic things in common, some basic building blocks. Some theorists suggest it was in their excretions, other more idealistic thinkers believe it was a deliberate action. There is no way to know for sure. But we have found evidence of their visits and there is too much in common between the life on all worlds to question the fact they existed here for a while and then moved on. Perhaps they are still traveling from one universe to the next, planting the seeds or leaving their shit, it does not matter which."

"You keep saying things that make my head spin. I am asking about this one amazing thing and you casually say 'this universe' like everyone knows there are others. I am trying to get around the idea that there were some aliens that came to Earth and left some shit behind and all life on Earth has somehow evolved from that. And there you go saying 'this universe'. Okay, how many universes?"

"That is a question many would give a great deal to answer. We are just now beginning to realize that the concept of universe is not a singular. In theory there are infinite universes. No Traveler has gone to another universe. That kind of space flight is far beyond our technology."

"Is it too far for the ship to travel?"

"I fear I am going to just raise more questions with this answer, but the best way to express it is that it is too sideways."

"You are talking about parallel universes!"

"Excellent, Revekah, while they may not be parallel in the geometric sense, they do seem to exist side by side. But you need to understand that this is a very complex side by side. Each universe has infinite sides and then each universe that is just beside it has infinite sides with more universes next to it."

"How do they know that they really exist, if you can't go there?"

"Now, Revekah, you have gone beyond this simple Traveler's ability to understand or explain. It is a theoretical physics beyond my ability. I devoted most of my study to alien species and did not spend enough time with mathematics and physics. Suffice it to say that the experts have sent things, tiny things, there and gotten them back almost the same instant. They were able to track that very short trip. It was little more than touching the surface of the ocean with a finger tip, but the fingertip came back wet. It proves the existence of water, but how deep is it and how wide? That is something we may never know. It is a very exciting concept to a Traveler, an infinity of universes to explore."

Cautiously and deliberately, Revekah reached out and touched Xeno's hand, not one of the strong three fingered hands but one of the six fingered boneless hands on the end of his smaller arm that seemed to trigger more instinctive fear. Xeno sat very still and let her explore. It felt warm and just a little damp, but was not like the squid tentacles she imagined. Curiously she manipulated the 'fingers' and felt the rough surface of his palm. It was soft and seemed to very slightly adhere to her skin, like the gentlest Velcro. "You say you taste things with your fingers?"

"Yes, I have chemical receptors on my fingers and palms."

"Do I taste funny?"

"No, you taste salty."

Revekah began to giggle, "Only salty?"

"Salty and a little like chicken."

Revekah's giggle turned to shrieks of laughter. "Chicken? How did you know about that joke?"

"I was on your planet for a few decades. I studied many aspects of your culture. There was a while where I was interested by the phenomena of cannibalism within your species. I am sure there was a lot I did not 'get' but that was one joke that stood out in my memory. 'Tastes like chicken, ' is a punch line for many jokes that have to do with the consumption of human flesh."

Revekah measured her palm against his, extending her fingers out against his; the thumb-like digits were almost twice as long as her thumb but the smaller middle digits were not a great deal longer than her fingers. She interlaced her fingers with his, noting that with six digits he had five spaces in between, one for each of her fingers.

"What do I taste like, really?"

"I can taste the fluid your skin produces for temperature management, your sweat. It has salt in it and pheromones that humans use to communicate with each other. I can taste some of the flavorings that were in your past meals. Under that are the proteins and minerals that make up your skin and body fluids."

"Pheromones I sort of knew about, but I never thought about them much. I can remember how Geoff smelled." Revekah closed her eyes and thought about his pillow, about burying her face in that pillow and inhaling. Then she thought about how his skin smelled and tasted. Revekah felt an echo of that wonderful first shiver of lust that she had always gotten from that first deep inhalation of his smell. It was always strongest in his armpits or his groin. He had always complained when she would press her face there, greedily savoring that scent. He had always wanted to bathe, protesting he was dirty from work, that he stank. Revekah smiled; she had always told him that he 'stank good'. "I wish I could smell that one more time."

"Revekah, remember all you have to do is share the memory with me and I can replicate it. I could make a scent that would replicate the one in your memory. You have shared it very well. You could relive that smell anytime you choose."

"Really? I don't remember what it was like; all I remember is how it made me feel. And I wonder if it would make me feel the same, if he was not there with it. I always believed it was because it was him."

"You do remember what it was like. And in answer to whether it would make you feel the same without his physical presence? Most likely not, it may make you feel good, but the same? It is unlikely. Human memory is often triggered by scent. There are many very strong emotional memories associated with that smell in your mind."

"Yes, he always triggered some strong emotions in me. I don't think I loved anyone before I met him, and I did not think I would ever love anyone else ever again. Perhaps I wouldn't have, but now you say I will live forever. Will I forget him? Will he fade away?" Revekah's voice was small and sad. "Can my brain keep that memory forever? Can you forget love?"

"You are correct in your realization that your brain, even my brain, cannot keep the memories of an endless lifetime fresh and new. Old memories fade and disappear, new memories replace them. Some are recoverable. It is like the brain still has them, but has forgotten how to retrieve them but others seem to completely disappear. I do have images and recordings of your life in the data banks for you to access. But they are only the outside, they are not what you felt and thought while you were experiencing them. Only memories that are used, remembered, re-experienced, stay fresh and accessible. If you want to remember Geoff, you must keep remembering him. Share with me those memories, Revekah, and you will keep them."

A deep shuddering yawn shook through her and she realized she had not opened her eyes again since closing them thinking about Geoff's smell. Her body already had that boneless, weightless feeling that heralded sleep. "I can't stay awake any longer, maybe tomorrow." She reluctantly let go of the alien hand she had been holding for so long. An idle random thought coasted through her fading consciousness, 'tomorrow, ' what does that mean in a timeless world?

This time the dream was on the ship, she was trying to hurry from one chamber to the next. But it seemed like the tubes and fibers were catching on her feet, entangling her, trying to hold her back. The hanging tendrils grabbed at her and she struggled to get through them, wiggling and squeezing her body through what seemed like an impenetrable mass. She was looking for someone and as soon as she thought it, she realized she was looking for Geoff. He had said that the ship had left the planet and he had been there on it. He had to be here somewhere. She called out to him, but there was no sound in response.

A horrible thought shot through her; Geoff was dead. The ship would recycle him. She wailed in panic and fell to her knees digging at the floor with her hands, forcing apart the layers of tubes and filaments. She screamed at the ship to give him back.

His hand on her shoulder and his voice in her ear brought her to her knees sobbing in relief. "Oh, sweetheart, I had thought I lost you." She stared into his face like a starving person.

His voice was light and amused, "You don't think I would let you leave without me?"

She wrapped her arms around him, clutching at him, fearful of losing her grip on him. "Don't ever leave me again."

Right before his lips touched hers he murmured, "I am here now."

It seemed like her whole body strained to merge with his. She could not press tightly enough against him and as he entered her, she sobbed with joy. Her orgasm rolled through her, making her loins quiver and pulse, and woke her. As she lay in the darkness, she could feel her heart beating heavily in her chest. She reached down and pressed her hand against her throbbing sex and pressed hard, trying to somehow trap the feeling, to save it for as long as possible. Her face was wet with tears. She whispered to the darkness, "I won't forget you."

Her hair had grown out almost half an inch when she could see the walls of her room from the vantage point of her bed. There was still a soft, translucent quality to her vision, like there was a faint rainbow halo around anything seen at a distance, but if she did not concentrate on it she was hardly aware of it. She was able to walk around on the damp uneven surface of the floor without assistance, but still held Xeno's arm almost out of habit now. She was having a hell of a time finding the portals between rooms. As far as she could tell, the walls of her room were uniformly covered with dangling tubes and tendrils. It frustrated the hell out of her that Xeno could walk directly to the wall, casually push aside the tendrils like a beaded curtain and step through. She kept asking him how he did that and then demand. "Damn it, can't you make an exit sign?"