Chapter 13: Winter Is For Healing

Jesse pulled up in front of the Emporium and parked. He made no move to get out. Instead he turned to Marie and asked, "Are you all right now? Maybe we should take you in to Laramie or Cheyenne." She was grateful and comforted when she heard the love, concern and worry in his voice. "I can get us into Laramie in four hours tops," he added.

She felt it come from deep inside her. Marie felt a great dark wave anger build up at the way he tried to run her life for her. No man would ever run her life again, not after Barry ... She shook off the rest of the thought. "Jesse," she told him sharply, "I am not all right. I may be going crazy and I feel so much anger inside I could explode. But please, please, don't suffocate me." She clenched her fists and drew them up to her temples as if to ward off an attack.

Jesse's own feelings became confused. He drew a deep breath and told her, "Well, damn it, I never felt like this toward anyone in my whole life and I'm scared I'll lose you. I feel helpless because this is something I can't fight with my fists or work hard to make it right. Honey, I have started to love you so much, so ... God damn it, I'm scared for you." Then his voice cracked and she heard the pain and concern in his words.

As quick as it came the black anger evaporated and was gone. Ashamed of her outburst, she touched his arm and told him in a softer voice, "Just keep reminding me of that. You are better than all the medicine in the world. I love you too, you know."

He gave a rueful laugh, "I sure to God hope so. I'd hate to be the only one of us in this much misery." He twisted around in his seat a little more and kissed her. As he drew back she laughed.

Saul came out of the Emporium in his shirtsleeves. He began to shiver as he rapped on the window on Marie's side of the car. "Come in the store," he called to them and rushed back inside where it was warm.

Jesse smiled as he got out and hurried around to open the door for Marie. "I must look a mess," she complained, then added, "Thank you, Jesse." She kissed him and walked ahead into the store.

"What for?" he asked in surprise.

"For being you," she whispered and kissed him quickly on the chin.

Saul held the door open, "Come in, come in. In case you haven't figured it out yet, it's cold outside." Saul quickly shut the door behind them as soon as they entered. "I, with my great Jewish intellect and ability to solve the unsolvable have unraveled the mystery of the fake map. It is not exactly a fake after all. In fact, it is," he bowed to his unseen audience, "three maps in one!"

Without another word they entered the store. Saul led them to the back workshop. His face shone with pride as he showed them three copies of the map printed on thin transparent acrylic sheets. As they removed their outer clothing, Saul stated proudly, "It was all a matter of connecting the dots, the X's and the O's I thought were put there as points of reference of some sort."

Jesse looked at the different markings on the three copies. "I don't get it. This copy looks like a grid."

"It is a grid. I drew lines back and forth through the dots both vertically and horizontally," the old man told him, "Now look at the second map."

Jesse and Marie crowded close and stared down at it, Marie saw it first, "There is a faint dot in some of the squares and no dots in others. You drew lines through all the circles that had dots in them and connected the rest of the circles that stood alone. Then you took the one circle that has an ex and a dot inside it and put it on the third map." She stared hard and exclaimed, "That mark is right in the middle to the cave you showed me!"

Then Jesse thought he understood. "The whole damned thing is a scam. Captain Ford used a system similar to this to sucker the rag heads into setting up an ambush at a supposed ammo cache. He even left the key to the map in with the map. We shot the hell out of fifty Iranians who had come to Afghanistan to join the jihad. Why that son of a bitch."

Saul interrupted, "Jesse, when I overlay the grid on the second map I find a circular space a little off center of the map." He pointed to the upper left portion to a small mark. There is your cave. Now using that as a reference, what is there in that empty space on the map? I estimate it to be a mile north east of the cave."

Jesse frowned as he looked hard at the transparencies. "Well, as far as I can figure, that spot is almost smack dab in the middle of the south pasture. Now I know for certain there is nothing out there but grass and a cairn built by some bored sheep herder years ago."

Marie suddenly focused on the map. "This is it!" she exclaimed. "Whatever he had hidden must be hidden there. Let's go see." Her voice had taken on the quality of a little girl on Christmas morning.

Saul looked at her strangely and back to Jesse. Miriam gently suggested, "Dear, it's awfully cold out there. Maybe you ought to wait for a break in the weather."

"Did I ever tell you how much you sound like Fran Dresher? You are so nice and we have to go now." She began to zip her parka back up. Saul and Miriam stared at Marie as she snugged the hood of her parka tight. "Come on Jesse," she called impatiently.

"Oh Jesus Christ," Jesse sighed prayerfully. "What the hell do I do now?" Again he felt the frustration of trying to do battle with shadows.

Saul looked up at his friend. "Be patient, Jesse. Be patient and above all, be gentle with her. She needs you." Miriam nodded silently, her own eyes expressed the deep sympathy she felt.

Each step he took as he followed Marie out the door was taken on feet that suddenly weighed almost too much to pick up and take the next step. He remained silent as he climbed into the little jeep and started the engine. "Marie," he began tiredly, "Let's head into Laramie. So long as we can make it to the state line, we can make it all the way into town."

"Jesse," she asked him in a sad voice, "Are you trying to get rid of me? Don't you like me any more?" The little girl quality in her voice grated on him and sent chills up and down his back. "I'll do better, I promise I will."

"Oh God, Marie, I don't know what in hell to do here. I can't handle this." He started the engine. He waited a few moments before he put it in gear and headed toward the ranch. "Marie, you are going through something I saw people experience in battle. They go crazy and try to hide inside their heads and it doesn't work. I can't handle this."

Anger radiated from her in waves, "Damn you Jesse, I am not going crazy. I will not. I ... I ... I ... I'll kill myself first." Suddenly she began to sob. Then a keening wail came from deep within her throat. There were no words, only a long whining moan.

Just before he turned in at their drive, she whispered, "Help me, please help me, Jesse. I'm afraid." She sat slumped in her seat until they stopped in front of the house.

Jesse parked beside a strange car with New York License plates. Now what? He wondered apprehensively. Troy came up to them as they stepped up on the porch. "There is some guy in the house with a piece of paper he wants to serve on her," he nodded toward Marie. "They want her back in New York to testify at some sort of hearing. Marie seemed not to hear.

"Honey, would you go over to the bunk house and see if Annie needs anything. After all, she does work for you and you know more about women things than I do." Marie nodded and followed Troy. Jesse went in the front door and began to remove his parka. He saw the big bull of a man get up off the sofa and start toward him.

"You Jesse Morgan?" The stranger asked.

"I don't remember inviting you into my house," Jesse said in a neutral voice. He turned back toward the clothes hook to hang his parka up.

"Hey, sucker," the stranger started and grabbed Jesse's shoulder to turn him around. "Don't you turn your back on me, you dumb son of a bitch."

Jesse slowly turned around, raised his right foot and stomped down hard on the other man's foot. As the hard leather heel came down, Jesse brought his right elbow up at an angle and smashed the side of stranger's nose. Never hesitating he kicked the man's feet from under him with a side sweep and kicked him in the head as he fell.

"I still don't remember inviting you into my house," he told the unconscious form. He picked his parka off the floor where it had fallen and re hung it on its peg.

Jesse returned to his newest enemy and squatted down. "Now let's see who you really are and what you are really up to. When he removed the man's walled, the first thing he saw was a gold detective's shield. It was from New York City. "Well, hell, he muttered to himself.

Without warning Marie came into the house. "I'll kill you!" she screamed and ran toward the bedroom. Jesse jumped up and intercepted her as she ran from the bedroom with his automatic in her hand.

"We want this one alive, babe," he told her and removed the firearm from her hand. Jesse got no further as a shot rang out and Marie fell to the floor. Jesse jumped across the room and ran into another bullet. His momentum carried him all the way to the detective. His last move before passing out was to smash a work hardened fist into the man's temple. He fell into a black pit.

A bit at a time, he drifted back to the real world. He hurt. It was hard to think. He opened his eyes and closed them again. He waited and listened. Somewhere in the distance an alarm sounded. He struggled to sit up. "What the hell?" he muttered. It was so hard to think.

"I been doped," he said angrily and looked at the needle stuck in his arm. He quickly removed it as a nurse came bustling into the room.

"Here now, Mister Morgan, You lie back down there." She attempted to shove him back down in bed and went sprawling as he swept her away from him.

Groggy from the meds, Jesse struggled to bring his feet over the side of the bed. "Where are my clothes?" He demanded of the nurse. "I got to get out of here. Suddenly he became aware of the deep, hard ache in his head. "Oh damnation," he muttered. His fingers encountered a bandage when he touched his head. "Get me my damned clothes," he ordered the nurse, "now." She climbed to her feet and ran from the room.

Jesse struggled. He was dizzy and almost ready to lapse back into unconsciousness again. He got as far as the closet when two large orderlies ran into the room. The first one to reach him went down, felled by a throat chop. The second one dropped with a broken jaw. He opened the closet door and reached for his clothes.

"How you doin' there, Jesse?" came a man's voice from the door. Jesse slowly turned and assumed a fight stance. It was one of the two FBI agents he had put down in the sheriff's office back in Walden. "Remember me?"

"Oh yeah, I invited you to go hunting," He swayed back and forth on his feet. He blinked his eyes and tried to focus them. "Oh Christ I hurt."

"Come on and get back in bed. You been shot. Well, I guess you probably figured that out all by yourself." The agent laughed. "Come on and get back in the bed. Let the doctors help you get better.

Slowly Jesse let himself be led and helped to lie back. "No drugs. You tell them no drugs. I will kill the son of a bitch who tries to shoot me full of drugs."

A doctor and another nurse entered the room. "The man says no dope in his system. I would listen to him if I were you." The FBI agent smiled at the doctor.

"I say what this patient gets and does not get." The round little man glared around the room, indignant that someone might interfere.

"Hey retard," Jesse told him. "I say no drugs and that means no drugs. I will damage you bad if you try any. Now get the hell out of here." You," he told the startled nurse. Get my clothes and stuff and put it all in the closet. I'm getting the hell out of here tomorrow. I'm hungry, get me a steak." He relaxed and closed his eyes. He fell into the familiar black whirlpool once again.