Chapter 1

I find it hard to think back to before, it's as if my life started in that place. If I focus and really think, I can remember who I was before, my friends, my family, growing up, and so on but it's as if that life belonged to someone else. I wonder if it was part of what they did to me or if it was my brain's own way of coping. It doesn't matter anymore I am what I was made to be.

It started with the change, I was scared. At 17 I had hoped I'd dodged the bullet. Days passed in a haze of drug induced sleep, very little of what happened around me got through. I thought I heard arguments but it was always either out or range or when I was passing out, just voices raised in angry tones but no words or context.

When I woke up feeling better and alert I was not in my bed, I was in what seemed to be a hospital. I tried to get up and found I was tied down. I started to struggle, old fears of being confined sparked my heart rate, in turn making me breathe faster. Struggling only seemed to make whatever held me grip tighter and I was soon in a full blown panic. I struggled harder fighting to break free and suddenly there were tearing and ripping noises and I began to move easier.

There was the sound of running footsteps and a large heavy set bald man in a white uniform burst into the room. He made no effort to calm me just leapt on me trying to hold me down. I struggled harder getting an arm free somehow. More running footsteps, I shoved the bald guy and he went sailing across the room impacting the wall with a crunch. I froze in surprise and two more men burst into the room, these two had close cropped hair one blond one brown. Blondy aimed something my way and there was a strange noise followed by my body exploding in pain, every muscle contracting and spasming at the same time.

"Dose that thing!" Blondy cried and the other jabbed me with some sort of needle, the world went fuzzy.

They must have kept me drugged after that as I had very few clear memories just pieces and nightmares. Being rolled in and out of what seemed to be operating theatres, being poked and prodded and loaded into a variety of machines and scanners. Hundreds of small fractured memories of medical or maybe scientific people examining poking and prodding.

One memory especially stood out, I was rolled into a room that contained a frail looking girl in a wheelchair. It seemed that either her head was much too big for her body or her body was wasted and skeletal. Initially her face was hidden by long blue hair, but on some unheard command she raised her head and stared at me with dark haunting eyes. Her gaze was intense it seemed to cut right through me to some level beyond just seeing my body, she seemed to weigh up my entire being with one look.

After staring for only a moment her head dropped down her frail body sagging in on itself as if the effort of that one glance had exhausted all her energy. Then in a high quiet voice you had to strain to hear she spoke briefly.

"We see Type 5 class 7"

Then there was a jab in my neck and I was out again.

When I next full resurfaced I was sitting in an uncomfortable unpadded plastic chair in a plain white room. It had no windows and only one door which had no handle on the inside. In front of me was a plain wooden table and a thin man in an expensive suit was sitting on the other side he was holding a cane or a walking stick in his hands. He had a large bald patch on top of his head with tufts of red hair that stuck wildly out to the sides of his head, he also had a elaborately styled moustache curled at the tips with a small pointed beard. His appearance struck me as that of an eccentric uncle or some such. He looked to be in his 50's or 60's, while his hair still had colour his skin was wrinkled and pale. Everything about the situation felt wrong even my own body felt wrong but the more pressing matters of me not knowing where I was and why took precedence.

"At last you're awake!" the man cried in a joyous voice, a spark of manic amusement lit his eyes "Now the adventure begins, another dull clump of metal for me to hammer into a sword. Oh dear me, yes, what fun I shall have with you my new tool."

I shifted in my seat and realised I was not tied up or restrained in anyway. Reacting on instinct I sprang at the man. The moment I touched him it was like the inside of my head exploded.

Pain shot down every nerve ending and my body seemed to lose all control of my arms and legs, I couldn't move at all just waved spasmodically like I was being shocked.

"Oh my always the same, the first lesson learned the hard way. Hopefully you're not a slow learner," the man tutted, "You cannot come within touching distance of a controller such as myself. In fact if you even think about hurting me I will know."

I flopped about in agony for a few more seconds like a dying fish then on some unseen signal the pain stopped. I could move again and shuffled my way rapidly across the floor wedging myself into a corner as far from the man as I could get. I was making strange almost involuntary whimpering noises from the shock of it.

He eyed me up and down as if weighing me up then nodded to himself, "Good it seems you learn the implications quickly enough. Much has been invested in you but mark my words not so much we can't cut our losses if you fail to adhere to the rules. But fear not if you do what you are told when you are told then we shall reward you."

Suddenly unimaginable pleasure surged through me, it was like no feeling I had ever experienced it topped every pleasurable sensation I'd ever had by a factor of a hundred and when it stopped I cried out at the loss of it.

The man laughed, "Quite remarkable piece of technology isn't it my dear. Some plucky Americans developed it, though as is fitting they only thought to put in the pain option. More subtle minds perfected it so now we can give you pleasure or pain at any intensity we desire. It will make you quite a useful little pet my dear."

I looked up in horror, the implication of his words burning through me, I would do almost anything to avoid the pain and I could already feel an insidious yearning inside to experience the pleasure again. The two combined would work to control me. I started crying silently.

The man laughed again then gestured to the seat, "Yes wonderful and terrible isn't it. Sit now!"

I carefully edged forward wary of getting too close to the man. He seemed completely indifferent to my tears regarding me with relish as if I was some game to be played, or perhaps more accurately some new toy. I slipped into the seat pulling my knees up between me and the man. I studied him more closely this man who called himself a controller. He was well dressed in an expensive suit and he wore it well. He was thin almost to the point of being skeletal, but there was a kind of hungry energy about him like he was thin because he burned off anything he ate with manic activity. Beyond his hair he was immaculately groomed. Indeed in almost all respects from his clothes to his beard he was carefully styled and neatly presented. It was as if all that control meant the madness and disorder had to have some outlet and it was as if his hair was where all the escaping madness went.

His eyes were disturbing, they seemed to be the only part that showed his true personality the rest being a carefully constructed mask. They were startling blue and seemed to burn with some inner fire. He glared out at the world and it seemed like what he saw was not what normal people saw. One look in his eyes and I knew despite his congenial attitude and comical image he was at his heart a stone cold ruthless snake.

"Now then where was I, oh yes you were given over to this facility not kidnapped or anything so obvious and so rest assured there is no-one looking for you. Your family, those who weren't directly involved with sending you here, are under the impression that you died due to complications of your MORFS. Which is not unheard of my dear even in this day and age. You were cremated more than a month ago, as caring masters we of course sent flowers. It was a fine funeral, I think you would have liked it my dear, one of your little friends gave a fine eulogy, and I understand there is a plaque up near your school library, isn't that nice. Suffice to say you now belong to us and no-one is going to come riding out of the sunset to save you, like in some movie. You know the sort of thing maybe something about cowboys or pirates, " He grinned at me and I cried a little harder.

"Now point 2 the device that you so helpfully demonstrated earlier is not removable. It has been implanted into your brain and nervous system in such an ingenious way that it cannot be removed without killing you. More over it is equipped with a failsafe which will accomplish that task in a frightfully unpleasant manner should you manage to escape or in some way displease me or any other controller sufficiently."

"So to summarise, you are not able to escape, the device inside you that controls you cannot be removed, and no one is going to rescue you. You belong to us now. What fun we shall have, you and I."