Chapter 4

The sound of a hair dryer cut through her fitful sleep like a buzz saw. Allison moaned as she came awake to a killer hangover. Her head ached and her body resisted even the slightest attempt at motion. She was vaguely aware she was still wearing the same clothes she had on last night.

What had possessed her to drink so much?

Last night? Oh my God! Had she really let her former college roommate Tricia talk her into going out to Mike's Roadhouse after the awards banquet?

Oh ... and suddenly her memory came into muddy focus as she recalled how she and Tricia had picked up those two cowboys and she had let one of them, was it Kirk? Take her out to his truck and then... ?

Oh God had she let him?

She was lying on her back and she reached between her legs to feel for the tell-tale signs.

Allison signed with relief. She felt no dried cum. And then she remembered she had sucked him off until he came all over her bare breasts and tank top. With a feeling of revulsion she ran her hands up her body until she felt the crusted cum on her top.

The nausea almost overwhelmed her.

What the hell was wrong with her? She had Jake again and had sworn to be faithful.

Before her thoughts could travel down that path any further there was blessed silence as the hair dryer cut off.

A few moments later she heard Tricia call her.

"Allison ... you awake yet?" Checkout is at noon and its 11:15. Best get going girl. Unless you're going home looking like that." Tricia chuckled.

Suddenly Allison was furious. It was like old times with Tricia the woman who could never stay in a relationship leading her around and into trouble. Tricia had introduced her to Allen and had constantly harped on Allison for being faithful to Jake that first few months of college in Austin. She encouraged Allison to "get out and meet some new people".

Allison knew that Tricia was only partially to blame since Allison jumped into the social scene at the University of Texas thinking that her relationship with Jake was rock solid and it wouldn't hurt if she went out once in awhile and of course Jake would never find out. What a fool she was. Allen saw her as an easy target and with his wealthy sophistication and his smoothness, at eighteen Allison hardly stood a chance of resisting. He was a senior and he swore he loved her. That set the stage for the easy seduction, but somehow deep inside she knew Allen didn't love her like Jake did. Once Allen had her he did all the romantic things like bring her little gifts and taking her out to the nicest restaurants. His parents were also charming, living in that big home outside Austin and having another home in Dallas. So Allison convinced herself she was in love with Allen and even though it was different than with Jake, it was new and exciting.

For years every time she thought of it she kicked herself for being so gullible and for her shameful treatment of Jake. She'd betrayed him and then she didn't even have the nerve to tell him in person that she had found someone else. She had hurt the only man she had ever really loved but by the time she discovered how stupid she was he was gone, she thought probably never to return.

And here she was again letting herself be led away from Jake by Tricia. No, she thought ruefully, the fault was entirely hers. But why?

Before she could go further with that train of thought Tricia came into the room wearing a towel, another wrapped around her hair.

"Bathroom's free ... you'd better get going. I've called down for some coffee ... I think we both need some!"

Allison forced a smile although she felt like hell and also felt like lashing out at Tricia. She groaned as she sat up and put her feet on the floor.

"You certainly seemed to have a good time last night Allison ... and Kirk really seemed like a nice guy. I'm sure he'd like to see you again."

Allison said nothing as she fled to the bathroom and closed the door.

She wept as the hot water poured over her. How could she have been so stupid? She vowed that she would do everything she could to make it up to Jake even though he didn't know about it, and that she would never do anything like that again. What she had reestablished with Jake was too valuable to lose. What was the problem?

As she toweled her hair — she couldn't face the sound of the dryer, she looked at herself in the mirror. She could hardly meet her own eyes for the shame of it. She had only come to her senses last night in the big truck when Kirk had told her he wanted to fuck her. Why had she gone to his truck anyway? What did she think was going to happen out in the parking lot? She considered herself lucky that he was the kind of man who would settle for a blow job. Had he been more forceful she might have let him have her just to be done with it. And then what? She had no worries about pregnancy but unprotected sex? What was she thinking?

How had it come to this? She just shook her head.

She threw her clothes into a suitcase and they said their goodbyes. She was grateful that Tricia had to leave for an appointment in Austin so they could not prolong their parting. Allison promised herself she would never see Tricia again. Of course she had vowed the same thing after Allen had dumped her but when she showed up at the teacher's conference it was like they were college roommates all over again.

What a fool I am, she thought as she got in her car for the drive home.

She pulled out her phone. It was dead and she'd forgotten to pack the charger. Her stomach lurched as she thought about the call she'd received from Jake last night. She'd seen it was him on caller ID but had ignored the call because she was with another man. Why had she been so stupid? Why hadn't that phone call been a wake-up call for her. At that point she should have called it a night.

Looking at her phone reminded her she'd ignored his calls all weekend and hadn't tried to contact him.

Why was she mad at Jake anyway?

She thought about that as she drove the highway. The rain had cleared and even with her sunglasses on the brightness of the late fall day bothered her eyes.

They had been back together since Christmas last year and that was what she wanted. She had tried very hard to win Jake back and she knew the competition was formidable, especially from Betti Taylor. She flushed with embarrassment as she thought about that first day she saw him after he got home from the hospital near Washington DC. She had so hoped he would come see her when he returned but he had made no attempt at contact. She had even enlisted Emily to help out but it had been futile.

So the day she saw him in Big Toni's her heart jumped. He was so handsome and the years was absent had added maturity to his rugged good looks. She felt the love for him warming her soul and at the same time felt the regret of loss — knowing it was her fault.

She had approached him, and warmed by his smile she tried to find the nerve to ask him to meet for coffee. Just then Betti Taylor had walked up and with a gleam in her eye and put her arm through his. Allison was humiliated as she realized they had spent the night together. Completely flustered she had fled.

But she had been determined and started running with Jake in the mornings. That first morning she had been up for hours in a state of nervous excitement as she watched for him to walk up the drive toward the county road to start his run. What if he told her he didn't want her company?

She was satisfied when he just allowed her to run with him and so it went. Fortunately Emily kept up her support too. Eventually she got what she wanted, but had she? Allison reflected. Did she really want Jake or was it a challenge to win him back and away from Betti?

She pushed those thoughts away. Of course she loved Jake and she wanted to be with him, and she had for many years except for her stupidity with Allen. So what was the problem?

The little voice in her head that had been around for a few months answered,

"But does Jake love you?"

She knew he did. He said it and showed it in so many ways and he was fantastic in bed, so why the doubts?

She knew the answer.

Jake was holding back.

Was it because he didn't love her enough, or was it that he was afraid of being hurt again?

Allison was indignant as she thought about all the times she had professed her love for him, but that emotion turned to shame as she thought about last night. Was he right? Did he know her better than she knew herself — that she might be incapable of being a one man woman?

That was absurd she thought. She just slipped up a little after having too much to drink and it wasn't like she really did anything. We'll a blow job in a truck in a parking lot of a roadhouse actually was doing something but it wasn't like she and Jake were engaged or anything.

This kind of circular thinking made her headache worse.

The biggest immediate problem was how she was going to apologize to Jake for not speaking to him all weekend. How could she look him in the eye after last night? Her actions were really inexcusable and had their positions been reversed Allison would have been deeply wounded and might have a hard time forgiving him. She sighed thinking that Jake will never know so she should just call him as soon as she got home and say she was sorry for not calling.

Allison pulled into her driveway with some relief because she didn't see Jake's truck at his parent's house. That would have been hard to ignore. Her determination to call Jake as soon as she got home waned as she entered the house. It was after 2 in the afternoon and neither of her parents was home so she went to her bedroom and unpacked and plugged her phone into its charger. She thought about calling Jake right then but was so tired that she thought it might be better if she had a nap first.

Her sleep was interrupted by her ringing. She saw it was from Kris Parker. She was relieved it wasn't Jake. She wanted to call him but wanted to have her story straight before they talked.

"So tell me how he did it?" An excited voice asked.

"What?"

"Jeees Allison don't drag this out. Did he get down on one knee, was it at his place? Come on girl ... give."

"Kris I have no idea what you're babbling about". She said somewhat impatiently.

There was silence.

"Oh shit." Was all she heard in response.

"What?"

"Never mind ... just forget I called."

"Kris ... what are you talking about? Who gets down on one knee?"

Then it struck her and her heart skipped a beat. Kris had to be talking about Jake. Had he told people he was about to propose?

"I'm sorry Allison. Me and my big mouth ... just forget it okay?"

"Kris is this about Jake and me?"

"Yes," she said in a quiet voice.

"And Jake was going to propose?"

"Yes." She responded, this time even quieter.

"And how did you come by this information?"

Silence.

"Kris?"

"Okay, okay ... well ... you know my brother Carl works at Elite Jewelry..."

"And?"

"Well Jake came in on Wednesday ... and bought a half carat engagement ring ... and I just figured by now..."

"Sorry Kris, no engagement yet ... I've been out of town." She tried to keep the feeling of dread out of her voice.

"Allison, I'm so sorry. I just figured Saturday night would be the night ... sorry."

Allison cringed as she mentioned last night. Had she gone to the farewell dinner with Jake she'd most likely be engaged now and happily showing off her ring to all her friends. Now she was nauseas with the feeling that she had screwed up royally again.

"Well congratulations early I guess."

"Thanks Kris." She said and hung up.

Allison sat on her bed and cried as the light outside faded.

Finally she made up her mind. She needed to see Jake and tell him how sorry she was about the weekend - of course leaving out her indiscretion from last night.

She took another shower and agonized over what to wear. She decided on jeans and a dark blue sweater that Jake had given her. The weather was cool but dry so she slipped on a pair of sexy pumps.

She stopped to check messages before she left and there were several missed calls — the last one from Jake was from last night when she was at Mike's. There were also three from Emily.

Emily had only left one message and that was from ten this morning.

"Allison ... We need to talk. Call me!"

She couldn't face a call to Emily right then so she erased the message.

Allison smiled uncertainly as she looked at herself in the mirror. She knew she had to salvage this situation somehow and tried to come up with a plausible excuse for not contacting Jake all weekend. She was still mulling that over as she headed down the stairs to the front door.

When she opened the door she met her mother who was coming in with a bag of groceries.

"Oh there you are Allison. Just get home?"

"No I got in a couple of hours ago and took a nap."

"Oh."

"Mom, I've got to run. I'm going over to Jake's place for awhile."

Her mother got a strange look on her face.

"Hold on a second. I guess Jake didn't manage to track you down before he left..."

"Left?"

"He came by early this morning ... said something about going to California for a job. Said he'd been trying to get hold of you over the weekend but you didn't answer or call back."

Allison tried to hold back the tears.

"What's the matter honey? Did you two have a fight?"

Allison shook her head as the tears came. Her plans for an apology and an engagement suddenly shredded. Why had he left without telling her or waiting for her to get home? He hadn't mentioned anything about a job in California. Was this how he was punishing her for not calling him all weekend? How had things gotten so out of hand in just a couple of days?