Afterword

Writing this memoir has been an incredibly cathartic experience for me. I'm hating to end it now—it's like having to say good-bye to Diana once again.

Despite the pain, I'm so glad to have known and loved her in the way I did. We were so close for so long. This love was right for us, the most rewarding and joyful part of our lives.

However, that doesn't mean it would be right for everyone. Our story shouldn't be seen as a blanket endorsement of incest. Like most human behavior, incest is a complex phenomenon. A relationship that works for one can be highly destructive and self-sabotaging for another. What brings joy and liberation to some can lead to depression, guilt, regret, and other forms of unwanted moods, attitudes, and outlooks—a life of gloom and doom—to others.

I find the way incest is often practiced to be deplorable, degrading, and usually destructive for all parties concerned. A father or mother aggressing their young children is harmful and wrong. Children shouldn't be having sex with any adult, especially a parent; it interferes with their emotional development. Children are still dependent and often haven't started building their bridge from parental protection and care to a place of self-love, self-esteem, and self-sufficiency. They haven't yet become persons in their own right. Thus, having sex with a parent can overwhelm them and interfere with this maturation process.

History has shown us that what a society represses it will then manifest to abnormal extremes. Prohibition in the 1920s in the USA is a good example. It led to excessive drinking and alcoholism for many who got high merely due to the allure of tasting the forbidden fruit.

Puritanical notions and religious teachings that link sex with sin have instilled fear and the threat of punishment in the American public. With such repression, we can safely predict the upshot: an inordinately large percentage of incest, especially among "God-fearing folks." Incest as a taboo is even more titillating than drugs and alcohol ... or it easily becomes an add-on. The resulting fear of discovery and persecution can lead to a life of guilt and low self-esteem that is devastating for the parties involved.

The anti-incest hysteria is fed by fundamentalists (some practicing incest themselves) who are determined to force everyone back into the strait jacket of the '50s. They recognize the sexual revolution as a threat to their control. You can be sure, because of their hypocrisy, it will be their children who will be the first to experiment with any behavior labeled deviant by their parents.

It is now time for those who have followed their hearts' desires and had positive, loving incestuous experiences to speak up. Fortunately many persons, including myself, are now ready to tell the world about the happiness they have found, not because of, but in spite of a taboo.

As the truth emerges ... as secrets are revealed, it might become evident that in regard to consenting adults the incest taboo is largely a superstitious phobia, an ancient fear that science has now rendered harmless through contraception. We can gradually free our psyches from this prejudice. The myth can slink back to ancient Greece where it came from and fade away. Then our primal urge will be freed from the closet of repression and shame into the light and fresh air of understanding. With the caveat that the lovers must be of legal age, society can gradually adjust to this basic but currently banned relationship.