Chapter 5

Present - Erast (Ben) - Washington DC

God damn, there's a fucking rat biting my head. I fight like hell with it and wake up yelling, "It's not a fucking mistake!"

I look at my hands. They're trembling as I shake my head to clear the cobwebs. It's not a rat after all, it's my fucking wig. I just had a terrible dream where I saw the doctor and he kept telling me it was a mistake to leave Ms. Donaldson because surgery could fix everything. He kept repeating over and over like a broken record. Then it switched to rats from the time when that bastard Hussein tortured me.

For a minute I really wonder if I've made the biggest mistake of my life. Perhaps the doctors at Walter Reed were wrong, perhaps the other doctor is right, perhaps one surgery, no matter how painful would really fix everything. But what if the surgery didn't work, I'd be saddling Ms. Donaldson with a broken half-man who couldn't give her the children she so desires. I conclude I did the right thing, because I love her with all my heart and can't risk ruining her life.

Earlier last night, after leaving 'the shop' and changing into my disguise, I stopped by Greenwalls to drop off my prescription. They said I can pick it up tomorrow evening which will be great timing because I will have my documents from Wilhelm by then. I visit a couple other places just to see how well the disguise works and to practice - the disguise works great since no one identifies me.

Because I don't have my documents and I can't sleep at 'the shop' so I decide to find a nice suburban street and sleep in the car. I find a street with other cars parked on it, pull in between two of them and sack out until the fucking nightmare wakes me up. Shit! I'm not sure what's worse, the nightmares of the victims faces or the nightmare I just had. At least Ms. Donaldson won't have to go through them with me. I shake my head because it's hard as hell not to keep thinking about her and wondering if she is okay. I really ... Aw Hell! Who am I trying to fool! She'll have another man within a month.

I guess I need to put the fucking rat, I mean wig, back on my head, find some chow and then meet Dwight to pick up the rest of my gear...

Present — Jens — Truth Network — Washington DC

Liz and the twins want to take me to the hospital, but I'm damn fine other than the bullshit with Ben going fucking crazy and acting like a grade A asshole. I demand to be taken to the station and once there I commandeer Liz's office (Shit! She never uses it anyway) to set up my command post. Liz goes along with everything until I start tossing her foo-foo shit in boxes. She complains, "Jens I paid an interior designer a bunch of money to furnish this office."

I look at the office with all the shit and comment, "Well however much you paid it was too damn much since all this crap is distracting and in my way. Don't worry, when I'm done finding Ben I'll pay for little Miss Foo-Foo to come back in here and foo-foo it back up for you."

She pleads, "At least be careful with it. Some of those items are expensive."

I'm in no mood for bullshit so I grumble, "Well if you and the twins would help instead of standing around and scratching your asses then it might get done to your liking." To accent my point, I toss a vase into the box but it breaks.

Liz gasps and complains, "Jens, that's it! Let me know what you want left in my office and leave for an hour. We will take care of moving everything out of your way."

I smile because this was my plan all along and I dictate, "Liz, please leave me the work table and all the chairs. I want three more phones in here and network drops for six computers. Please put a little table over there and I want a real coffee pot on it not that piece of bullshit thing you have in here now. The mini-fridge can stay but I want it over by the coffee pot with the microwave on the top of it. Please fill the fridge, with energy drinks, you know the ones I like, and healthy, microwaveable meals. While you're at it find me a couple cases of MRE's just in case and make sure they aren't expired like so many of the ones sold in the civilian market. And I want two folding cots in the corner."

I take a breath and continue, "Ira, please find me a Benelli M4¹ tactical shotgun with a selection of shells for it some lethal and some non-lethal, in fact let's see if we can find some of the new Taser Xreps² but first talk to Benelli and make sure the M4 will handle them. I also want a real rifle, something as accurate as your PSG-1's but smaller and easier to handle and let's get it in some other caliber than five-point-five-six with a crap load of ammo and mags. Make sure it's not fucking gas impingement³ because I don't want to be cleaning the fucker all the time. Now Ira, for the sidearm which I will be wearing at all times I want a Kimber Pro Carry⁴ in forty-five ACP with crimson trace grips. Give me ten mags with it and I want the hottest golden saber rounds you can get for it."

¹ Awesome auto-loading shotgun used by the USMC

² A self-contained Taser in a 12 gauge shotgun shell. 100ft. range. First knocks them down from the impact then keeps them down from the shock.

³ Direct gas impingement - is a type of gas operation for a firearm that directs gas from a fired cartridge directly to the bolt carrier or slide assembly to cycle the action. The main disadvantage of direct impingement is that the breech of the firearm becomes fouled more quickly. This is caused by solids from the high-temperature gas condensing as they cool and being deposited on the bolt face and primary operating mechanism

⁴ Same as the full sized Kimber just easier to conceal and carry.

The three of them are astonished while I smile at them and continue, "Now my good friend and pharmacist Mira, please get me extra body armor from Herr Henrick. While you're at it give him a call and see if he can make some that's twice as thick. You will need to coordinate with Liz for my likes and sizes. Also get me a bunch of underwear, a few need to be sexy, a couple nice outfits, one business suit, one or two of the slinky black outfits you guys wear and a week's worth of BDU's - I don't give a fuck what color or branch of the service. I want a full combat setup like I used in Iraq and Afghanistan including a normal holster and a concealed carry holster for the Kimber. I need a military pack to carry my stuff, something similar to what you two use. I need my basic make up and toiletries. For shoes get me a selection including dress shoes, combat boots and running shoes. And if you would be so kind to make up a little medical kit for me from your pharmacy with a bit of everything including some stay-awakes."

"Finally ladies, I want a better lock put on this door and Liz my best friend in the world, I need a secretary, no I need a girl Friday and she has to be combat trained. Pay her whatever you have to and tell her she's with me twenty-four-seven until this mission is over."

They all stand there with their mouths hanging open. I snap them out of it when I yell, "Move your asses because I want the office setup in two hours, the Kimber yesterday, the rest of the weapons by tomorrow night and the fucking clothes whenever! Now do any of you remember everything I just said?"

They start stepping and fetching and Ira says, "We memorized your exorbitantly extensive list but it sounds like you are planning a war, not setting up an office."

I smile and confirm, "You're right, I am planning a war. I'm fucking serious as a heart attack and I'm going to win this war. We need to try to find Ben before he leaves DC because after that he's going to be hell to find. Now I'm going downstairs to record a commercial then I'm headed out to buy some computers and I expect to see some things finished when I get back." I hustle out of the office to begin my chores.

Present — Mira and Ira — Truth Network — Washington DC

We start to help Ms. Morgan dismantle and destroy her lovely office and I say to Ira in our special language, "Ira, what are your feelings about Ms. Donaldson and her actions."

She places a very expensive vase carefully in a box, wraps it and answers, "She is a woman on a very big mission and we should have seen it coming."

I agree, "Yes, it was a minor miscalculation on our part thinking her mother would be a distraction. But we still have your plan." I grin at her.

Ira smiles back and replies, "I think we need to have a brief meeting with Ms. Morgan and persuade her to follow our plan. I do not think it will be hard because I know the perfect way to approach it. You just need to follow along and agree with everything."

I answer, "Then let's do it now."

Ira clears her voice and asks, "Ms. Morgan I think we need to take a short break and discuss what is happening. Mira and I would like to know how you feel about things and we have some ideas for things that might help."

Ms. Morgan replies, "I would love to talk, but do you think we can spare the time?"

I reply, "Ms. Morgan, as long as we have the office clear and Ms. Donaldson's sidearm by the time she gets back, she will be happy."

Ms. Morgan looks relieved and says, "That's great news because I was afraid she was going to go all crazy again - did you see the look in her eyes?"

We both giggle because you could not miss the look in Ms. Donaldson's eyes; she is a fired up determined woman on a mission. Ms. Morgan sits at the table, Ira follows her and I bring all of us a cold drink from the mini refrigerator. As I hand them around the table, Ira smiles at me and Ms. Morgan says, "Thanks, I can really use this."

We all take a drink and Ira starts to weave her web, "Ms. Donaldson is very focused now on finding Mr. Blaine. Because of this Mira and I have no worries she will go crazy again." I nod my head and Ira continues, "The most important thing is that we support her to the utmost of our abilities, because if she thinks anyone hinders her from finding Mr. Blaine, they will instantly become her enemy."

Ms. Morgan questions, "So what else can we do besides what she's asked us to do?"

Ira smiles and reminds Ms. Morgan, "Ms. Donaldson is so focused on finding Mr. Blaine she has forgotten two things which might be used to persuade him to return."

Ms. Morgan blinks her eyes and replies, "I have no idea what two things you are talking about."

Ira and I both smile and Ira says, "She has forgotten about the two young girls Zarika and Yasmeen in Tajikistan who Mr. Blaine promised to bring to America. They are still very impatiently waiting for Ms. Donaldson, you or Mr. Blaine to come and bring them to America as they were promised. If we bring them here, we could put them on the television pleading for Mr. Blaine to come home."

We both anxiously watch as Ms. Morgan thinks about what we just said. Finally she smiles and answers, "I really like this idea. Ben won't expect this at all. And while he may have gone crazy and left Jens, I doubt he could ignore the two of them. Okay you two can go and bring them to America."

Ira instantly replies, "Ms. Morgan, they have very specific orders from Mr. Blaine that only he, Ms. Donaldson or you are to come and bring them to America. You will need to come with us or they will not come without a big fight."

She shakes her head, "Okay, I will need to figure a way to sell this to Jens. But we can't do anything until we get her all set up and settled in."

Ira and I smile at each other, because while Ms. Donaldson might be able to ignore her mother, she will not be able to ignore those two girls. They are just as determined as she is and on equal but opposite missions.

Ms. Morgan says, "Well we better get back to destroying my lovely office. I knew I should have given Jens her own office."

Present — Zarika — Tajikistan

I am very sad because it has been such a long time since Yasmeen and I have seen or even heard from one of the nice ladies. And it seems like an entire lifetime ago when I saw Ben. I wonder if we have been forgotten.

The man with no tongue, who cannot speak, was able to get a television for us so at least we have it for some entertainment. Of course Yasmeen, the little suka, hogs it and spends much of the day watching music shows and trying to sing. I think she sounds more like a dying donkey.

I yell at Yasmeen, "Give me the remote thing. I want to watch the news."

She has become sassier than ever and says, "No way Jose. I'm not done yet."

I swear since she has been watching so much television she has picked up even more stupid sayings than before, like the one she just used with me. I threaten, "Yasmeen, I will kick your rear if you do not give me the remote thing."

Yasmeen giggles and says, "Don't freak out." She then throws me the remote thing.

The last time I watched the news there were very bad things happening in America and many other countries in the world. I find the news station and it seems things are better now in most of the world since the chewchemeks have been beaten in most places are have gone back into hiding. Then I see an American commercial and yell, "Yasmeen look on the television."

She turns over then comes and sits beside me, "Look Zarika, it's our husband Ben. I wonder if he is now a famous television star?"

I try to understand the words, but they are in English and make no sense to me. So I do my best to read the sign but it looks like funny squiggles to me. The commercial is over and I ask Yasmeen, "Could you understand anything that was said?"

She grins at me and answers, "I think it said our husband Ben is now a big movie star. Did you see the big amount of money on the screen - I think that is how much he makes each day." She sniffles some and says, "Zarika, I really miss our husband Ben. Do you think he will come for us soon?"

I grin at her and say, "If he is a big rich movie star I think he will come for us very soon."

Present — Erast (Ben) — Washington DC

I approach the meeting point with Dwight, pull over, park the car, and take off my disguise. Then I run to the top of a hill overlooking the whole area. I can't be sure Dwight hasn't been followed because there are a lot of bastards who'd turn me in for the twenty grand reward Ms. Donaldson is offering for me. I chuckle to myself because I always wanted to be a desperado, and now I have a wanted poster and the whole fucking country is looking for me. And all I did was the do right thing! I guess it is true, 'no good deed goes unpunished.' Oh well, Ms. Donaldson will grow tired of the chase soon enough and leave me alone. But I need to get focused because I have a job to do tonight. And being distracted is a quick way to die. Even though I really don't have a life left, without Ms. Donaldson, I still have a job to do.

I observe Dwight drive up and son-of-a-bitch, the old fool was followed and didn't even notice. I sure as hell hope I die before I get that old! I smile because with my new mission parameters death has become a very distinct possibility.

I pull out my mobile phone and call Dwight. He answers with a question, "Ben, where are you?"

I want to chew his ass, but decide it won't do any good so I explain, "Dwight, I've been watching you and you have a tail. It's going to take me about thirty minutes to work my way around and take care of him. Sit on a bench and relax for a bit."

I drop back over the ridge, run parallel to it for about a klick and then slowly move back to the top. I see Dwight sitting on the bench and his tail still watching from his car with his back to my location. I analyze the slope, the terrain and ground cover to plan my path to the car. I then head off down the hill, using the bushes and trees as cover and always keeping the bastard in sight.

I'm down to the last fifty, and most critical, feet so I crawl, inching my way closer to the car. I get to the back of the car, slip my pistol out of my holster and slide along the ground until I'm just below the driver's door. I rise up, put my pistol close to the face of the driver and say, "Get your fucking ass out of the car and you'd better move in slow motion."

Some idiots never learn so he reaches for his weapon sitting on the passenger seat. I pistol whip the hell out of him and he goes out like a light.

Son of a bitch, now I have to do all the work. I open the door, pop the trunk, then I drag his sorry ass to the back of the car. I search him well, take his shoes, wallet and mobile phone, then stuff him in the trunk. I find the emergency release handle for the trunk and use the tire iron to bust the shit out of it so it doesn't work, 'accidentally' hitting him several times. Then I slam the truck closed. I look at his mobile phone, bring up the last number dialed and hear, "You have reached the Truth Network information line for Ben Blaine. Do you have any information on the whereabouts of Ben Blaine?"

I decide to have some fun and say, "I sure the fuck do. This is Ben Blaine. Let me speak with Ms. Jennifer Donaldson."

The voice says, "You know, I'm really getting tired of all these prank calls." And the phone goes dead.

Prank calls ... that give me a great fucking idea. I punch up the number for Liz's office. I'm going to leave her a voicemail because she's never in her office. Instead of voicemail I hear, "This is Liz, your dime buys my time."

She surprises the hell out of me and I start to choke as I hear her say, "Hello, hello? Is everything okay?"

I yell in the phone, "Tell Ms. Donaldson to leave me the fuck alone." Then I hang up the phone.

The phone rings again almost right away and it's her number. I pick it up and hear, "Ben is that you?"

I yell, "Liz you and Ms. Donaldson leave me the fuck alone!" and hang up the phone. Then I dial the international number for Moscow weather, it's a looped recording that keeps repeating. Next I throw the phone in the bushes. Paying for this phone bill should teach that fucker.

Speaking of the fucker, it sounds like he's awake, banging on the inside of the trunk and yelling his fool head off. I go over and slam my fist down on the trunk and yell, "If you make any more noise I'm going to start firing into the trunk."

He sobs, "Please let me out of here. I hate small dark places."

I threaten, "You keep it up and I'll drive your car into a lake."

He starts crying like a baby and I decide I need to stop fucking around and get my gear from Dwight. I jump in his car, start it up and head towards Dwight. I guess the fucker really thinks I'll drive his car in the lake because he's screaming like a banshee, crying like a baby and kicking the shit out of the trunk.

I wave at Dwight as I pull up, jump out of the car and run over close to him. He says, "What the hell do you have in the trunk of that car? It sounds someone trying to play a violin with a cat that's in heat."

I laugh and say, "It's the fucker that tailed you." I toss him the keys and continue, "You can let him out after I leave if you want. Did you bring my gear?"

He smiles, "Of course I did. Hey, thanks for taking care of the tail for me."

I give him a serious look, "Dwight, you really need to take a long hard look at what you've become and who you've let into 'the shop.' My guess is you might even have a couple ATF agents lurking in the crowd. I'd fucking clean house if I were you and go back to the original few of us you let in."

He agrees, "Yeah, it just sort of snowballed on me and the next thing I knew there were people I didn't even know. Shit! If there is an ATF agent, they'll take everything from me."

I clap him on the back and say, "Well, you know what to do so do it. Thanks for the gear, I only need most of it for my mission tonight and will return it tomorrow."

He gives me a sad look, "I sort of hoped you'd stay around and help me clean up 'the shop.'"

I smile at him and say, "Dwight, there's nothing I'd rather do than stay here and help you clean up 'the shop.' But you saw the wanted posters for me. For a while, possibly for a long while Ms. Donaldson's going to be looking for me and I know her, sooner or later she's going to find 'the shop'." I grab the gear pack, shake his hand and say, "Take care of yourself Dwight, I'll see you in the morning."

I turn to leave up the hill and he says, "Shit! I almost forgot. There's a special gift in the pack for you. I think you'll know what to do with it. See you tomorrow."

Did you ever wish you could do something to stop a coming disaster, but you know whatever you do, it won't be enough? Shit! I'd saved Dwight's life once, I gave him the best advice I can but somehow I know it won't work, not this time.

Present — Jens — Retail Therapy (shopping) — Washington DC

Well, I recorded a commercial where I beg Ben to come back to me. Yeah it is humiliating as hell to be begging, but I love him and have to try at least this once to entice Ben to come back. But if he doesn't come back after watching me beg and cry on television then it's all-out war! I'll hunt his hardhearted ass down and extract my revenge.

Now, on to buy the computers I need. On the way to the local computer store, I decide to stop in a local instant mart and get a cup of coffee. I walk in the door and am shocked to find out the fucking, blood sucking tabloids haven't wasted anytime! Crazy assed stories about us are plastered on the covers. I stop in my tracks and read the headlines.

Ben Blaine captured by aliens, taken to mothership and being probed.

I about laughed my ass off, if he doesn't come back home I'll give him a fucking probing with my boot.

Ben Blaine runs off with Vegas stripper and leaves fiancée heartbroken.

I look at the picture and it's an old fucking picture of him with that fat cow Susan bitch. She looks more like a broken down old Vegas whore, not a stripper.

Old girlfriend says Jennifer dumps Ben because he can't keep her happy

Wow that one was pretty close to the truth only backasswards. The fucking fat cow even gave and interview, she's next on my ass kicking list, right after Ben!

Ben leaves Jennifer when he finds out she's a HE!

There's a fucking picture of me with a close up on my crotch and, what the fuck, they made it look like I have a huge fucking package! Damn idiots, can't they tell it's the bump from something else I need monthly?

Jennifer Donaldson goes crazy, becomes a cannibal and eats fiancée.

There's a very poorly "photoshopped" picture of me where I'm chewing on what looks like a leg bone. It's sickening.

Ben Blaine runs off with Angelina - Jennifer and Brad heartbroken and console each other

This shows two "photoshopped" images - one of Ben and Angelina and one of Brad Pitt holding me. Pul-eeze! Like I would ever take rusty old nail hole (brad pit — think about it) over Ben but I sure like the size of the breasts on the woman's body they put my head on - I'd certainly take those!

Ben Blaine dumps Jennifer for two underage girls.

Now this picture really gets me pissed off since it's Ben and those two girls of his from Tajikistan. What the hell are their names? Where the hell did they get this picture and ... Hey where the hell are those two girls?

There are more, but I need to get going. So I grab one of each tabloid off the rack (I figure I can use a good laugh when I read them later), my cup of coffee and head to the register. The guy behind the register gives me a silly grin, points at the top tabloid and says, "I know who you are - you're her!"

I just grunt at him. He continues, "So are any or all of those stories true?"

I decide to have some fucking fun, pay for my coffee and tabloids and say, "Only one."

He gets all excited, "Which one?"

I lick my lips, grin and say, "The cannibal one of course. By the way I am getting a little hungry."

He turns ghostly white as I walk out the door. I can't believe the crap they print and I really don't understand the people who read it and believe it. No wonder this country is so messed up. But the probed story was truly funny.

I just get ready to drive away when my mobile phone rings. It's Liz, so I bitch, "I sure the hell hope my command post is ready."

She ignores my bitching and says, "Jens, Ben just called my office phone."

I smile and immediately think it's about fucking time! He saw my commercial, came to his senses and called Liz to find out how pissed off I am before he comes crawling back with his tail tucked between his legs. I confidently ask Liz, "So when is my fiancé coming back?"

The phone goes quiet for what seems like forever until I hear Liz cry as she says, "Jens I don't think he is coming back. He yelled at me that we should both leave him the fuck alone."

My hope immediately flashes to anger and I yell, "He said what?"

Liz meekly repeats, "Jens, he said we should leave him the fuck alone."

Now I am totally pissed off so I demand, "Did you call him back?"

She replies, "Yes I did and he told me the same thing again. I've tried calling several times and all I get now is a busy signal. I've got our best people trying to track the location of the phone."

I swear, "Damn him! Leave HIM the fuck alone! I'll show him the fuck alone when I anally probe him with my size seven boot! He won't sit down for a month."

I hang up the damn phone and burn rubber all the way out of the parking lot. Leave HIM the fuck alone! I'm not going to let him the fuck off that easy. I'll find him if I have to chase him to perditions gates and then kick down the gates, to get to him. Leave HIM the fuck alone, I don't fucking think so! I go on national fucking television, humiliate myself even crying and begging his sorry ass to come home and he fucking responds with: Leave HIM the fuck alone! Mr. Ben fuckhead Blaine you will pay for that fucking chicken shit comment!

I fly to the computer store and think: What the fuck is it about, about, about men and their fucking packages! They make such a big fucking deal about it like it's the most important piece of meat in the world. I guess it can give some pleasure but hey, it's not like it's the only way a woman can be pleasured. It's like all men worship at the over highly exalted Temple of Penis and if there's ever any little problem with it they get all fucking hysterical and act like a bunch of babies. And they dare call women emotional — now that's a fucking joke! So his pee-pee is a little broken. Does he stay and go to doctors until it's fixed? Hell No! He goes all crazy, thinking I only love him for his penis, when I've never even tried it! And he forgets about everything else we've shared!

I am calmer when I pull into the parking lot so I take out my mobile phone and call Liz. She meekly answers, "Hello, Jens are you okay?"

Oh shit! I can tell she's really upset! It's my fault and I need to fix things so I respond, "Hey sorry sister, about being such a super bitch earlier. Please forgive me?"

She sounds a little better when she replies, "Jens, I was just worried you were going to go all crazy again and this time I wasn't with you to help you. I'm so sorry Ben said what he said but I don't know what the hell is wrong with him."

I decide, even though I don't feel like it, that I need to tell her a little joke to cheer her up so I offer my explanation: "Liz, the bastard is being a typical male and thinking with his little head which is broken and not his big head."

I know it works because she's laughing like crazy and adds, "Jens you're right about that. What is it about men and their toys. Their toy gets broken and they turn back into boys."

Now it's my turn to laugh, "Liz my sister and best girlfriend in the world, you're so right. Hey listen, I need you to go down and pull that commercial I just made and try to keep it from being aired anywhere else if you can."

She asks, like I knew she would, "Why Jens, what's going on?"

I'm embarrassed as hell when I respond, "Well Liz, I publicly humiliated myself, begging and crying for Ben to come back. It's obvious to me with his, his, his..." I pause and take a breath to keep from getting upset again, then continue, "It's obvious from his answer he doesn't give a fuck about my public humiliation or the commercial. So I've tried the carrot on him and it didn't work. Now he gets a taste of the stick and I've got a big assed stick and I'm going to beat the hell out of him."

She laughs and says, "Oh boy is he ever in trouble. Are you sure he saw the commercial?"

I answer, "I'm pretty damn sure that's what made him call. By the way, I also need to apologize for being so bossy to you and the twins earlier and for breaking your vase."

I can tell damage control is done when she says, "Jens, it's nothing and you were really upset so we all forgive you. We're working like hell to get everything done for you, when will you be back?"

I think for a minute and reply, "Liz, I'm at the computer store and I'm not sure how long this will take. Here's what I'd really like done as soon as possible, and if you can have these things done by the time I get back I'll be really happy."