Chapter 11

Present – Jens – Truth Network - Washington DC

Yeah, it was great beating the shit out of Mira and giving Jack a few love taps. Now there was no doubt in anyone's mind about who is the alpha female ... shit, the alpha person in this group! As I help a humbled Maria up, Jack walks up and asks, "Jens, Liz has two twins working for her, are they named Mira and Ira?"

I answer, "Yeah Jack that's their names. Why?"

He gets a very serious look on his face and declares, "Jens, we might have another huge fucking issue!"

I just begin asking him what the hell he's talking about when I hear someone clap, and in a sarcastic as hell voice mock me, "Well that was a first class exhibition of the release of pent up anger and aggression. Tell me do you feel better now?"

I look at the door through my sweaty bangs and vaguely see a woman (damn she looks familiar); however I immediately dislike the hell out of her mouthy attitude and sass, "Hell, yes I feel much better now. But I'd feel even better teaching you some respect and manners."

She responds, "That's the problem with violence, it never really fixes anything. In fact some people get addicted to the endorphin release they get from the violent acts. I would say that you're moderately addicted to that release." She glances at Jack then Maria and continues with her monolog, "Now he's come to grips with life and doesn't have many issues. However she is even worse off than you are. Yes you beat her in a not so fair fight, but she's pissed as hell about it and is trying to figure some way to get even."

Shit, it's Liz's fucking shrink! I'd forgotten about her but I answer with a taunt, "Where the hell did you get your psych degree - from the back of a box of Fruit Loops?"

She responds immediately with, "No but I do believe you need to have another bowl or perhaps two, because you're a few Fruit Loops short of a full bowl."

Jack and even Maria almost bust a gut laughing. No one insults me and gets away with it! I am s-o-o-o pissed and add, "Oh yeah! Well shrinks are about as useful as a wooden frying pan."

She snaps right back, "Well if I had one now, I would paddle your smart ass with it. It's a shame you have a million dollar body running on a two dollar engine."

I fight back, "Oh yeah! Well if stupid was a talent you'd be considered gifted!" All of a sudden this banter back and forth between us seems so familiar to me: Damn she reminds me of ... I wipe my bangs out of my eyes - no it can't be!

She responds, "Ensjay on'tday youay uckingfay ecognizeray emay?"

"Jens don't you fucking recognize me?"

I scream, " Eganmay! Iyay aven'thay eensay youay oreverfay!" We both run towards each other and give each other huge hugs!

"Megan! I haven't seen you forever!"

I look at the BFF¹ from my childhood who I'd lost track of many military moves ago: Yes it's Megan and she looks really good. I ask, "Meg, you're Liz's fucking shrink?"

¹ Best Friend Forever

She replies, "Fuck no, I'm Liz's lover!" She laughs when my mouth drops open. Then the taunts return, "Jens you're still too gullible. Of course I'm Liz's fucking shrink, but I prefer the name 'Psychology Goddess and Miracle Worker'! And from the look of things you can really use both of those right now!"

I start to sob and barely get out, "Meg, my life is FUBAR²! Just when I find Ben..."

² Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

She shushes me and says, "Jens, I know all about everything and I should have come here sooner. But I'm here now so let's get to work. Who are the two victims you just got done beating the hell out of."

I smile at her and say, "Jack is Ben's old spotter and Maria Gonzalez is my girl Friday."

Megan says, "I thought I recognized Jack, pleased to meet both of you - Jens and I go way back. I'm here now and I'm going to fix everything. Now Jack, you were just going to tell us about a new and 'huge fucking issue'? That needs to wait until later."

She looks at me and scolds, "Jens, I can tell you haven't eaten or slept enough lately. So we're getting you some food and some sleep. While you're sleeping I need to have a talk with Jack and Maria."

I'm so damn happy to see Megan again, I cry half the time as we head to my office and Meg hugs the hell out of me. She takes one look at my office and says, "This place looks like shit and won't do at all. Jack and Maria, we need a very quiet place away from this office for Jens to rest. Move your asses and find her something now."

They both take off and Megan asks, "Jens is there food in the fridge?"

I respond, "Yeah, there are some TV dinners and other crap."

She berates me, "Jens, you can't live on that bullshit food, but it will have to do for tonight. From now on we're having catered meals brought in every night and we're making a daily sit down dinner part of our mission plan to find your Ben."

I worry about the answer when I question, "Meg, do you really think we will ever find my Ben?"

She grins at me and promises, "Jens, hell yes we're going to find your Ben because we are never going to give up until we do. But first we need to change your whole approach to finding him. I hate to tell you this, but you have really fucked this one up! However, you don't need to worry because I've fixed much bigger problems than this."

She gave me my lovely TV dinner and for a change it really tasted good. Damn it was s-o-o-o-o good to see Megan again and I hope, that with her help, we will find Ben!

Present – Maria – Truth Network - Washington DC

I had hoped that my princess boss was going to beat the hell out of that mouthy BSB³ but then she ends up being a good friend of my boss' from childhood! Damn, gramps was right when he told me about my princess boss having a hell of a lot of friends - they are crawling out of the woodwork like bedbugs in a sleazy hotel. I wonder if he was right about everything else.

³ Business Suit Bitch

Gramps and I walk into the room next to the place my boss calls an office and he asks, "I think this office will work fine for Jens to sleep in. What do you think?"

I decide I'd better start 'doing my job' otherwise I might have a bunch of my princess boss's bedbugs trying to kick my ass like gramps mentioned earlier so I answer, "Gramps, I think this office is too close and she will be distracted by any noise. Let's look at the next office."

He gives me a dirty look and comments, "Listen, if you can't call me by my name, Jack, then I'm going to call you fucking Speedy, which I know you don't like. But I'm glad to see you're finally thinking about Jens and you're right about this office being too close."

I decide I sort of like the old fart and I'm a little horny, so when we get into the next office, I start with the flirt, "So are you as good a lover as you are a fighter?"

He laughs, "Shit, there was a time I'd have shown you the answer to that question all night long." He holds up his right hand and I see a ring, and he continues, "I'm a happily married man, and besides, my wife is Russian and she'd gut us both will a dull knife if I even kissed you."

I commented, "Hey the ring is on the wrong hand – you can't be serious."

He grins, "Not if you're Orthodox it isn't. Let's go get a cot and bring it in here for Jens."

I decide I really like gramp ... I mean Jack, and I have no idea what 'orthodox' is. Most men would have fucked me even if they were married. Shit, I think most of the men I fuck are married but it just makes things easier for me since there are no attachments! Plus, married men are always so grateful to get some sex, because most of them don't get anything except fucking nagging at home!!!

If men only knew the simple truth: Wedding cake is the ultimate sex drive killer for their bride. Fuck! I bet most of them never even get good head after they give their fiancées an engagement ring. Shit! Men are so fucking dense sometimes!!!

Present – Megan – Truth Network - Washington DC

I have wanted forever to come and help Jens, because she was a huge mess! But the fucking psychiatric review board wouldn't let me accept her as a patient! They said, "You have a conflict of interest." Damn swinging dicks thought they ruled the whole fucking world. I showed them when I told them to 'fuck themselves and shove my license up their anal-retentive asses.' Then I made a few not so discrete calls to their wives. Hell no, the things I said weren't true. But the bastards wanted to fuck around with me so let them deal with some shit at home! No one plays psychological bullshit with me and gets away with it.

Jens was more important than my license or even my practice and the minute I saw her in the gym, I cursed myself for not coming sooner. I had really let her down and this was going to change. First I dealt with the obvious physical issues of not eating and lack of sleep. She looked like hell warmed over - big black bags under her eyes and skinny as a fence post.

I heat a TV dinner and demand, "Jens, eat all of this! I would make you another one, but I'm not so sure that much food wouldn't make you sick. How long has it been since you ate?"

She obviously lies in her response, "Meg, it's really good to see you and I think I ate something yesterday."

I glare at her and declare, "Jens, you never have been able to lie to me, so stop trying and tell me the truth."

She very guiltily replies, "Three days Meg."

I know she doesn't need to be scolded, but she needs to be motivated so I explain, "Jens that won't do. When we find Ben, he's not going to want to marry a stick girl. Your chest wasn't that big to begin with, so if you lose much more weight you won't even need a bra."

She giggles (which is a good sign) and answers, "Meg, remember when we used to draw stick figures of our weddings?"

I did and that was why I said what I did. I answer, "Yeah Jens, I remember those days well."

Jens says, "That seems like so many lifetimes ago and now everything's such a big mess."

I need to keep her from negative comments so I counsel, "Jens, it's not as big a mess as you think it is. You're too close to it and you can only see the mess and I bet you see no way out of it. Am I right?"

She nods her head and I continue, "Well, I'm here now and I promise you, we will find Ben and I will see you two married. Jens, you tried using force on Ben and that never works with a strong willed man like him. So we're going to declare a psychological war on him."

The chat has been good since she's eaten all her food and didn't even notice. I hand her a 'Tiger's Milk⁴' bar and order, "Here, eat this too."

⁴ An energy bar.

She grins at me and comments, "Meg, you remembered after all these years how much I l-o-v-e Tiger's Milk bars."

I smile at her, "Of course I remember, just like you remember everything." I was going to say more, but Maria comes in the room and says, "We have another room, two offices down for Jens to sleep in."

I order, "Okay Maria, let's take a cot down for Jens. Jens you go and brush your teeth."

Jens says, "I want to shower too."

I countermand, "Jens that will wake you up. Just go wash your face and brush your teeth."

I know she will listen to me - she always did and that hasn't changed. Maria and I take a cot into the room. I look at her and Jack and declare, "Listen you two, I'm going to sit here with Jens until she falls asleep, then the three of us need to have a very serious discussion! Meet me in that piece of crap office!"

Jens comes in and I stroke her head while she drifts off to sleep. Now to find those two fucking bastards that have let me best friend down - heads are going to roll!

Present – Jack – Truth Network - Washington DC

Maria and I head back to the 'office, ' take a couple chairs and I ask, "Maria, please make us a couple TV dinners while I go over this video from the bus station. I don't want to waste any time."

For once she doesn't give me any shit as she replies, "Sure Jack, I'd be happy to do that."

I'm intently watching the video and don't even hear the microwave ding or see Maria put the food in front of me, until she touches me on the shoulder and announces, "Jack your food's ready."

I think about telling her she's going to make some man a hell-of-a-wife with the way she can microwave, but I sure as shit don't want to get her upset again. She's a damn good fighter. So I simply respond, "Thanks Maria that was very nice of you."

She asks, "What are you looking at Jack?"

I reply, "This is the surveillance video from the bus station closest to 'the shop.'"

Maria asks, "I thought Jens ran that through her facial recognition program and it came up with nada."

I laugh, "Yes you're right Maria, but I'm not looking at the faces. I'm looking at one of the two features you cannot easily change with a disguise. Do you know what those features are?"

She shrugs her shoulders so I answer, "The distance between the eyes and the shape of the ears - those are the two hardest features to change. We already know Banzai didn't look up and probably wore a hat, otherwise Jens' facial recognition program would have nailed him."

She impresses the hell out of me when she says, "So you're looking for guys with hats on, and then looking at the shape of the ears. But are you trying to tell me you remember the exact shape of his ears after all these years? What are you, some sort of fucking spy?"

I laugh and reply, "Maria, you're much closer to the truth than you would be comfortable with. Unfortunately I can't tell you or I would have to kill you."

She gets ready to answer when a very upset Jens' friend (oh yeah, Megan) walks into the room and I wonder if my ass is going to get kicked for the third time tonight!

Present – Megan (Meg) – Truth Network - Washington DC

I walk in the room and demand, "Both of you two over at the table right now!"

Jack responds right away while Maria takes her own sweet time. Once she sets down, I look her in the face and start the confrontation, "Maria, do you like your job here?"

She lackadaisically answers, "Yeah it's the best job..."

I interrupt her lie with the truth, "You mean the only 'real' job you've had since Iraq and you're getting way over paid! Yeah, I had a PI do a background check on you."

Good! She starts getting fired up and now to put her in her place. I continue, "Just so you know, I'm not like Jens, you lay one finger on me and you're going to jail for it. I don't put up with violence against me from anyone. Plus one word from me and you're out on the street again. Do we have an understanding?"

I watch her facial expressions as the jail part catches her interest. She replies, "Yes Megan I understand."

I look at both of them and recite: "Okay you two, I've known Jennifer Donaldson since we were both young girls so I know a hell of a lot more about her than either of you. I know she's been in love with Ben Blaine for as long as I can remember." I look at Jack and continue, "Jack, I know when she gave him the pencil he still carries everywhere. We entered your house together and left Ben the 'Navy Cross' drawing. We also know about all the women Anna kept trying to set him up with."

I glance at Maria and say, "And I know all about how Jens used your name in a failed attempt to seduce Ben. I think it's funny as hell you ended up as her aide." I glance back at Jack, "And I know how her bastard father assigned you and Ben to the spooks after that terrible night and I even know most of your missions."

Jack's mouth falls open and he exclaims, "Shit! That was you two that broke into my house. And you can't know about those missions, because they 'never happened'."

I grin at them and reply, "Jack, you forget, she's one of the best computer hackers in the world. If there was ever any mention of one of your missions on any computer, she found it. Besides, it's not like it's hard to figure out what you guys did, all she had to do was trace where you guys went and then check for the bodies left behind. Because, dead men do indeed tell tales and you two left too many tales."

I was waiting for it and Maria says, "So why are you telling all of us this bullshit?"

I smile, "I wanted to establish my credentials and to illustrate to you the reason I am here." I glare at Maria and pronounce, "Unlike you Maria, I am not here for the money. In fact coming here has cost me my practice and my medical license because the stupid board felt it was a 'conflict of interest' for me to take her as a patient. By the way, neither of you are to tell Jens about this fact." I look Jack deep in the eyes, "And unlike you Jack, I am not here to assuage my guilt. The guilt you wrongly feel for letting Jens down on the failed rescue mission for Ben."

I take a deep breath, and say, "I am here to help Jens, the best friend I've ever had. Both of you need to get your heads out of your asses and make it your priority to help Jens too! If you can't do that then get the hell out of here right now."

Maria voices her opinion (I knew she would be the first), "Megan, Jack already cussed me out about the piss-poor job I was doing. I've been thinking about it ever since and he was right. I took this job thinking it would be some fast cash and I could teach my princess boss a few things about life. I never thought I'd actually end up liking her as much as I do."

I stop her before she openly says something that's detrimental, "Maria, you don't need to say your embarrassed about the bad job you did. Just start doing the best job you can starting right now."

It is Jacks' turn as he asks, "Megan, how the hell do I not feel guilty about the failure?"

I smile and answer, "That's for you and me to figure out together. Just so you know, you're getting a hell of a deal because most my clients pay over five-hundred for an hour of my time."

Maria asks, "Megan how can we help Jens the most?"

I smile at them and respond, "You two might not like this, but for right now and until Jens is mentally stable again, I'm taking over as the boss of this team. You two are to do anything and everything you can think of to help Jens. Maria, you need to make sure she takes care of her basic needs like eating and sleeping and bathing. In fact tomorrow when she wakes up you and she are going to a salon and getting a makeover. Then you are going to do something about this terrible 'office.' This place is like a dungeon! It's an office so it needs some girly stuff in here."

Maria complains, "Megan, I'm not sure how to do this crap!"

I laugh, "Well then I guess you'll need to motivate Jens to teach you how to do some of it. You also need to call her friend Liz because she knows all about stuff like this."

I continue, "And Jack, you and I need to sit down and have a long talk about Ben. I agree he has PTSD, but I want to know more about why it's so bad. And finally, all information you find regarding Ben needs to come to me first. We have to filter what Jens hears until she's healed."

Maria interrupts, "Shit, I forgot! I have Ben's medical records from Walter Reed."

That surprises the hell out of me since they don't let those out of the hospital. I look at her and raise an eyebrow, "Oh really, how were you able to get those?"

She grins and answers, "I was very resourceful."

Jack says, "Shit I almost forgot too and this is important as hell."

I ask, "Is this what you were going to tell her in the gym?"

He says, "Hell yes! Liz has a set of twin female body guards named Mira and Ira. I'll know better when I see them, but I'm almost totally sure that Mira knows and was (and possibly still is) in love with Ben."

I look at Jack in disbelief and say, "Jack, we need to know all about this right now!"

Present – Liz – Dushanbe, Tajikistan

I'm not sure what Ira did when she was gone, but the minute she came back into the room, Mira was in a huge hurry to leave. And with Sam being dead in the other room, it was a good idea. I was confused when we headed out the back door, instead of the usual front entrance. And I'm even more confused when we jump into a panel van. I finally ask, "Mira or Ira what the he..." I looked at Alexi and change what I am going to say, "What the heck is going on?"

Ira laughs, "Ms. Morgan, Alexi is not fluent in English so you are safe verbalizing some swear words around him." She comes over and gives me a huge hug; Mira follows and Alexi tags along. "We disremembered in all the excitement to thank you for reuniting us with Alexi. We are clandestinely departing the Embassy in hopes that those in the government who are observing us will become discombobulated."

I question, "Does this mean we are going to get Ben's adopted sisters and the gold?"

Mira replies, "Once we are perfectly certain we are no longer being observed we will retrieve the girls and the gold. However, that is only half of the equation."

Ira adds, "Yes we will still have to discover a way to extricate them from our country."

Mira finishes, "Plus we will then need to find a place where your jet can retrieve us."

I look at the three of them and exclaim, "Mira and Ira this is about the worst half-baked plan I've ever heard of."

Ira says, "Ms. Morgan, our plan does not require culinary arts."

I laugh, "No Ira, it doesn't, what I mean is you two really don't have a plan on this at all and are just trying to figure something out. Now I've been thinking about this, and here's my plan." I know that Mira and Ira are going to hate my plan before I even reveal it to them.

Present – Ira and Mira – Dushanbe, Tajikistan

After Ms. Morgan describes her plan, I look at Mira and ask, "Mira, is she completely crazy?"

Mira gives me a serious look and answers, "Ira, her plan has moderate merit and with minor modifications to secure her safety, the plan is viable."

As I wonder if my sister has also been infected with Ms. Morgan's insanity, I accuse, "Mira, are you also mentally challenged right now?"

Mira giggles, we have a deep discussion about her minor modifications, I crimson and realize I have been the slightly mentally challenged one. I tell Ms. Morgan, "Ms. Morgan, Mira and I have discussed your plan and we will allow it with a few minor modifications."

Present – Liz – Dushanbe, Tajikistan

When I tell Mira and Ira my plan, they have a heated discussion - it's the closest I've ever seen to them having a fight with each other and it makes me wonder what the hell is going on with the two of them.

Finally they come to a consensus and Ira tells me, "Ms. Morgan, Mira and I have discussed your plan and we will allow it with a few minor modifications."

What the fuck! They will allow it! I start to get pissed at them for that comment but decide I'll listen to the 'minor modifications' first, "Okay Ira, tell me what we need to change."

After hearing the twins' changes, I decide it's now an even better plan. I answer, "Okay, you two, I agree with the changes." I pull out my mobile phone and make the call.

Present – Zarika and Yasmeen – Tajikistan

Zarika

We are prisoners! I think the man with no tongue and who could not speak was very upset at us after our last fight. He separated 'Yasmeen the annoying' and me. He then put a leg chain on her to the far wall of the cell and one on my leg on the wall away from her. We could no longer reach each other. But it was worse than ever because now 'Yasmeen the annoying' throws insults at me all day long. Finally I get tired of it so throw something back at her!

Yasmeen

As usual, this was all Zarika's fault. If she would accept her lowly place as my slave and footstool then things would be perfect. But no! She thinks she is good enough for Ben! Ha! She is nothing but a durack⁶! Now the terrible man with no tongue who can not speak has us chained up to opposite sides of our cell. But at least she can not beat me when I tease her which I do all day long. I yell a new insult, "Zarika the zit faced!"

⁶ Fool in Russian, rhymes with barack.

Then she does a terrible thing: She, she she, picks up the pot she uses for the toilet and throws it at me. It is very full and gets all over me. She yells, "Now you are 'Yasmeen the stinky' and smell like poop!"

I start to cry because Zarika is so very mean to me. The man with no tongue and who can not speak comes in because of all the noise and is more upset than ever. He holds his nose and makes motions like I should clean and change my clothes. I make motions to tell him that Zarika did it. He scolds her very much, hands Zarika a note and leaves, I ask, "What does the note say?"

Zarika

The note is very good news! The best news I could ever have! And unfortunately I have to share it with 'Yasmeen the stinky.' But not before I make her pay. I yell back, "Read it yourself." Then crumpled the note, throw it at her and began to get ready!

Yasmeen

Zarika, threw the note at me, I opened it and complain, "Hey I can't read this, it's in Tajik!"

She laughs and very nastily replies, "That is too bad for you because it is a very good note."

I watch her carefully and notice she is getting ready – it looks like to leave – so I tease, "I bet it says that the man with no tongue who can not speak is finally moving you to a dungeon where you belong!"

She replies, "You are wrong again 'Yasmeen the stinky'."

I think for a minute then tease, "Oh yeah, I bet you can't even read it!"

She laughs and answers, " You are wrong again 'Yasmeen the stinky'."

Zarika delights in torturing me. I keep asking her for an hour what the note says, and she keeps insulting me. Oh! I hate it when she gets this way! If I could reach her I would beat her on the head with a stick!

Zarika

This is very fun! I just wish I could keep it up for days. 'Yasmeen the stinky' hates it when I have information she doesn't. I wish I could keep from her what the note says, but the nice ladies order me to tell Yasmeen. And after trying to fight many times with them, I know it is not good to disobey one of their orders.

I look at the clock on the wall and know I must unfortunately tell 'Yasmeen the stinky' what the note says. It will be very fun to watch her scramble when I do, because she will not have much time.

Yasmeen the stinky yells, "Zarika, you had better tell me what the note says!"

I tease, "Yasmeen the stinky! I will tell you if you promise me you will act like a good little second wife!"

Yasmeen

Zarika is forcing me to promise her I will be a good second wife before she tells me what the note says! She is so stupid. She still does not realize I have no problem lying to a suka⁷ like her. I lie, "I am sorry Zarika. I promise you I will be a good second wife if you tell me what the note says."

⁷ Bitch

Zarika

'Yasmeen the stinky' is going to be very surprised. She also thinks I do not understand she is lying to me about being a 'good second wife.' But I know she is like the back leg of a dog!

I smile at her and say, "'Yasmeen the stinky' second wife, the note says many very good things: First it says the Liz lady will be here in twenty minutes to take us to America to meet my Ben. Next it says we need to be cleaned up and totally packed, and finally the nice ladies order us to stop fighting otherwise the Liz lady might not take us with her." Then I add a little lie of my own, "I almost forgot, it also says you need to act like an obedient second wife."

She answers with surprise, "Zarika, the Liz lady will be here when?"

I smile, "In less than twenty minutes now! You had better hurry second wife!" It is very fun to watch her start rushing to get ready, since she does not know which to do first: To pack, to finish cleaning up, or to try to make herself pretty. I sit on my cot and watch, and it is like watching a circus.

Present – Liz – Tajikistan, picking up the girls

We take the panel van to the jet where Mira, Ira, Alexi and I make a big production of getting on the jet. We know the jet is being watched and we want to make sure they know we are on board. The instant we are away from prying eyes, we jump into action. I order the pilot to file a flight plan back to America and get the plane serviced.

He complains, "But it's already been serviced."

I answer, "Mira and Ira think the food they brought on board was tainted. So I want all the food they furnished taken away. We will use the emergency rations until we get back to the States."

He knows better than to argue and responds, "No problem. I will request the service immediately. It will probably take them about an hour to get here though."

I continue, "As soon as they are gone, I want you to take off." Then I head back and start getting ready.