Chapter 5

Arnie Upson was the most knowledgeable among the wagon train crew on wagons, so he was sent into town with us to find a wagon to be hooked behind the chuck wagon. This wagon was to become a home on wheels for Alice and me. Alice claimed to know nothing about wagons, and I certainly didn't, so we were grateful that Arnie was willing to help us out in selecting a wagon.

Arnie warned us that a good wagon could cost $60-75, so he was going to be real picky about the one he recommended. He even warned us that there might not be a suitable wagon for sale. In that case, he would recommend that we just put off our purchase until a later town where we could find exactly what we needed. Hell, Arnie was the expert, so we were willing to go along with what ever he said that we should do.

To show what esteem Alice was held in, the wagon train was waiting about a mile out of town until we got back. Mr. Jackson insisted that he did not care whether or not we came back with a wagon. The important thing was to find the wagon that Alice was happy with! His point was, we would keep stopping until we came up with the wagon that she wanted, even though every delay was costing him money. A person couldn't go wrong with a friend like that!

I guess that Arnie looked at every wagon in town that was for sale. We had worked our way from one end of town to the other (OK, it wasn't that far), and there was only one more place to look. Arnie was not very hopeful, since the place was a seedy little livery stable that looked to be on its last legs. We walked in to the main barn, looking for the owner or manager, and there IT was!

Arnie just stopped where he was and admired the wagon. I swear he drooled, he was so impressed. Not only that, the wagon was painted red with yellow highlights. With Arnie and Alice completely enthralled by the wagon, I was not going to argue. It was up to me to track down the livery stable owner and negotiate a price.

Never in my life did I think that I would ever have a use for the bargaining skills that I developed in Iraq. I was always dragged along by anybody who wanted to buy something from the local merchants, since I seemed to have a talent for getting the best price.

Anyway, I found the owner and asked how much he wanted for the wagon. Naturally, he quoted a price of $120. I figured immediately that he wanted $60 for the wagon, so he was giving himself plenty of negotiating room. I slapped myself on the side of the head and shouted, "HA! NO WAY! I'LL CONSIDER $25, BUT NOT A PENNY MORE!"

That got Abner Jones' attention. He could tell immediately that I was no beginner at the bargaining game. "OK, as a special deal fer ya, I'll drop the price ta $100."

Well, I had him moving in the right direction, so I offered $27.50, which showed that I was willing to be reasonable, but I was not going to give in too easily.

Jones was afraid that he had a tiger by the tail. He really wanted to sell that damned wagon that had been taking up space for months, but he was not going to give it away. I could see the determination in his eyes as he suggested $90. Wonderful, now I knew that we were working toward a price that I could live with. I offered $30, but I was slow to mention the number. I scratched my head and rubbed my jaw for a while before mentioning the number. Jones now knew that I seriously wanted the wagon, and he was sure to be able to unload it at last.

He offered the next bid at $75, and this really startled me. That was one hell of a drop from $90 to $75, so I knew that I was getting close to owning that wagon. I kicked the ground, turned to stare at the wagon for 3-4 minutes, and then said, "I don't see how I could go over $35. That is a fine wagon, but my resources are already stretched."

Uh-oh, the sale was slipping away! "OK, I'll accommodate ya as much as I kin. How 'bout $60?"

Aha, now we were down to the nitty-gritty. "Mr. Jones, will you excuse me a moment while I discuss this with my friend who knows more about wagons than I do?"

At Jones' nod, I walked over to Arnie and asked how much he thought Jones had paid for the wagon. Arnie speculated that the price might have been $60 or so when the wagon was new, but Jones could not have paid more than $35 for it as a used vehicle. That was the information I needed, so I went back to Jones. "Mr. Jones, I appreciate your courtesy and forbearance with me. My friend says that I have not been making you a fair offer, and I should raise my offer to $40, but that is really pushing it for me."

"Well, Mr. Huston, I can't afford to lose money on this here wagon, so how about I cut my price to $50?"

"Mr. Jones, I don't know what to say. Your price seems reasonable, but all I have on me is $45 in gold. Will you take that for the wagon, plus lend me two mules long enough to haul the wagon out to the wagon train where I work? It's about a mile from here, and I'll have the mules home long before dark."

"Hell, Mr. Huston, ya could have saved us a lot of bother ifen I had known ya was gonna pay in gold. The wagon's yers fer $45 in gold in hand today, and, yes, I'll lend ya the two mules ya need ta git the wagon home."

"Ah, but Mr. Jones, had I mentioned gold at the very first, I would not have had the pleasure of talking to you for this time. I'm much obliged to you, and here is the gold. There's two double eagles and a half eagle. It has been a pleasure doing business with you."

Arnie and I got the mules hitched to that gaudy wagon and drove it out to the wagon train. Arnie could hardly wait to get to the train and to tell the story of the bargaining which yielded such a fine wagon for only $45 in gold. Alice and I rode in the wagon and Arnie rode his horse. The other two horses were hitched to the rear of the wagon.

It was funny the way Arnie couldn't wait to get to the train to tell his story. I could tell that he was busting a seam to get there, so I told him to go ahead. He was off before I finished speaking. By the time we got to the wagon train, Arnie had told the story innumerable times, and I think that it got bigger every time he told it. I couldn't help laughing to myself—now I was no only a hero, but I was the king of bargainers!

I don't know how Alice felt about Arnie and his story, since she was still glowing with pride over the fancy wagon that we had bought. Well, I didn't care as long as I was her hero!

A bunch of the guys in the crew helped me hook the wagon to the rear of the chuck wagon while Arnie returned the mules to the livery stable. Arnie reported that, from the way the livery stable owner acted, he could hardly wait to get to a saloon and brag to his friends about the way he had unloaded that old wagon for GOLD! I figured it to be a win-win situation and didn't worry about it.

We were ready to leave as soon as Arnie got back from town, and Alice spent the rest of the afternoon riding in the seat of HER new wagon. She was happy, so I was happy. Another case of a win-win situation.

That evening after supper, we got all of our stuff moved from her temporary wagon to our permanent home wagon. Damn, it was nice to say that! The crew helped me to get the wagon set up the way she wanted it and to get the canvas cover in position so that we could have some privacy. Ha! How much privacy can you have in the middle of a camp with only canvas walls to shield you? We didn't care, it was the principle of the thing.

One thing for sure, that wagon really rocked as we celebrated moving to our new home. Everybody else, including Mr. Jackson, slept in a bedroll under his wagon, but Alice and I had an almost regal position with a wagon to sleep in. The damn thing also squeaked when it was rocked a certain way! The only compensation for the noise, if it was that, was that Alice was noisier than the wagon when she hit her peak. I gained even more machismo points as a result of the sounds Alice made. If this kept up, I just might become "Mr. Huston" to the crew, instead of "Tomahawk Jeff." Only time would tell.