Chapter 12

It's nice in life when things go right. Also, it's nice when you let things go. Like the song title, "Please Release Me," it's sometimes nice to be able to just let things go.

Things like the Comforter Set and the draperies in the apartment. When we had finished the bedroom and moved on into the kitchen, Lindie just looked at me and asked, "Is there really anything in here you really want?"

At times I'm a pack rat and others I just want to dump things out. I'd had my fill of packing things and choosing in the bedroom. There I'd had over five years accumulation of clothing I really didn't wear much. That extra stuff went into a huge plastic bag to be dropped off at Goodwill.

Pots, pans and all the rest of the contents of the kitchen I really didn't need. There was a nice dinnerware and matching silverware set that June and I had bought together there. Plus a few nice serving pieces.

I didn't mention to Lindie the origin of the dinnerware set. She just smiled at it and told me it was nice, but with everything in her house we three really didn't need it.

Man, I liked the sound of "WE THREE!" in that sentence. I wanted that more than anything else. We three ... warmed my heart.

So, as with the bedding, even though I'd used the kitchen stuff after June and Katie left for a new life without me, I didn't need constant reminder of June. Although, I'd thought frequently about Katie and how things were for her.

She'd accepted me instantly, just like Michelle had done. Perhaps some day, I'd see or hear about her. By then too I figured, the little residual negative feelings I had about June, would be gone.

I know now when she left it was true sadness she was expressing. Like I've already mentioned, I realize that must have been a difficult decision for her. Katie was quite confused but accepted the fact she was going to go live with her dad.

I'd missed both of them as I rearranged my solo life. I didn't want another loss in my life like that again so I'd shut down. I'd had a few short term relationships after June but I never let them get serious.

Sure I'd had some sex with a few of my dates along the way but back then I'd known if I'd allowed myself to commit to anyone else, how devastated I would be if they hit me with another breakup. I just never really allowed myself to get close to anyone after June.

Also, seeing what had happened with June, you know, Katie, I always wore protection. I didn't want to be trapped into a relationship either. I hoped for June's sake that wasn't the case with the guy she left me for. The father of her child.

So the kitchen was very easy to pack. Just leave everything and no trip to Goodwill for anything was necessary either. Although there was one thing I did want. While living with June I'd kept it deep in the back of one of the cabinets. The top most shelf, way in the back as I said.

While I was in college my roommate got tired of my constantly scribbling the same thing over and over. I don't know why it upset him and of course I never told him what the repetitive doodle he found on everything represented.

Although he did one time say, "Is that when you lost your virginity?" I'd just stared deadpan at him and didn't answer. He didn't mention that again.

So he spirited away one of my drawings and made up a present for me. I guess that little gift had become very precious to me and I didn't want to leave that object behind.

Stuart Fine, my roommate, had the drawing memorialized on a large sized white ceramic coffee cup. The drawing was a line drawing in red of a heart with two small hands joined at the wrist centered in it. On the wrists was a 14 with a double circle around it.

Stu had also added on the reverse side of the cup my declaration of long ago, "Girls Suck." He even had picked up on the addition to that epithet Lindie had made and added under that, in smaller script letters, "Boys!" I guess I had also written that many times too along with my doodling.

I had to climb on a chair to retrieve the cup. When I handed it to Lindie she laughed. When Michelle saw it her eyes lit up and said, "I want one too!"

"Sure enough Kitten," I told her and as we were already hugging, another launch was not eminent. She just added a squeeze to her hug and answered, "Thanks Dad."

"What about me?" Lindie asked.

"Of course," I answered. Then with a wink I said to the two of them, "Perhaps I should order a DOZEN!"

We all laughed at that and as we moved into the Living Room we had just about the same challenge and amount of packing to do there as in the kitchen. Well almost the same. I'd had a few nicknacks in there and a couple of pictures. They filled less than a box. Also there was another two boxes of my accumulated movies. Not much for the living room.

Last was the bathroom and that too barely filled another box. I had my male items, you know shaver, shaving cream and deodorant plus the other things a guy would have in a bathroom. Like the other rooms I really didn't need to take much. I just left behind the shower curtain, wash cloths and towels.