Chapter 3

SARAH

When Dad told us that we were going to move to Arizona, I was really bummed about it. I did not want to leave my friends and go through the process of making all new ones. It was gong to be my first year in high school, and I am already nervous enough about it without losing my support system. But he made it very clear that we were going to move, without question, so I resigned my self to that. By the time school was out, Dad was already working and staying full time in Arizona, and Mom, my brother Travis and I were left in Cleveland to finish up packing the stuff and actually moving. Really, we had movers and packers for the stuff in the house, but we still had to decide a bunch of things. Then Mom came up with the suggestion that we make it a leisurely drive from Cleveland to Phoenix with whatever side trips we wanted to take. That sounded better than a straight drive, so Travis and I started scouting out things to see and places to go between here and there. Naturally, there are a bunch of places that guys like right off the bat and so we went to some air and space museum and another museum in Chicago that was all about machines and stuff. Boring!!!

I should say that there are really a zillion things to do in Chicago, and I could have spent my entire summer there, but Mom said we could only stay in one place for five days. One day we had to go to a ball game, to keep Travis happy, and to his museum another, but the remaining days we went to the Art Institute, an enormous Arboretum, and an unreal zoo. By that time, Mom was anxious to get going again so we headed off, down to Saint Louis on the way to Kansas City. But we took a little side trip to see the Mark Twain National Forest, and that's where everything started to go wrong. First we got lost on a detour, and then Mom crashed the van trying to avoid a big bear that was standing in the road. We ended up getting stranded and having to walk to a main road, in a pouring rain, and were picked up by two guys. That was the first day of the second part of my life--the second part of all of our lives, actually. If I had asked you to guess how my life has changed since that night, you would not come close to being correct.

We stood there, on that road, the three of us, standing in pouring rain. No one had a rain coat, or an umbrella. We just stood there waiting for somebody to come along and rescue us, I guess. Except, nobody came. We stood in that rain for what seems like hours until we finally saw the dim glow of headlights approaching. There were three people praying very hard that the car didn't turn away before it came to where we were, and our prayers were answered. The men in the car were just a surprised to see us as we were to be there. They offered us shelter for the night and a place to dry off, warm up, and get some supper. Both of the men were very hospitable, really cordial, friendly guys. The house was clean and neat, (and warm) and supper was delicious. I managed to claim first dibs on the shower, once they offered it to us, and Travis was quick to follow after me. I was asleep within minutes after my shower, and slept soundly until morning. I think I was up first, but Travis was right behind me. We sat quietly downstairs waiting for the others to get up, and managed to snoop around the house a little while we were waiting. The thing that struck me as odd was the absence of photographs. Most people have pictures of family and friends sitting on shelves or hanging on a wall somewhere, but there were none that I saw, in any room of the house I looked into.

What was more puzzling was that when Travis and I were snooping around the house, we couldn't figure out where the remaining bedroom(s) were. We had located one, down a long hallway in the opposite end of the second floor from where we had been, but that was it. I was about to mention that to Travis when Mom appeared in the stairway, in a white terrycloth bathrobe. She was chatting and laughing with our host, Mike, who happened to be dressed in an identical white terrycloth bathrobe. I was more than shocked. For as long as I can remember, I have never seen my mother in anything other than street clothes. NEVER in a housecoat or a bathrobe, never with her hair uncombed, never looking like she had just climbed out of bed.

Travis and I both screamed in shock. Honestly, I don't think I will ever get over that morning, really. In a matter of seconds, one discovers that her mother, who has always been the MOST conservative, person on the planet admits that she has spent the entire need in bed with a perfect stranger, and that not only did they have sex once, but many times throughout the night and morning. Travis and I could not believe what we were hearing. We were dumbfounded, really. And in the next few minutes, our mother told us how she had been transformed, changed from a person that had denied the pleasures of sex to herself for her entire life, to a woman who had just discovered ecstasy. We were speechless. Following breakfast, she went on to tell us how miserable her sex life had been with Dad, how selfish he was, how inconsiderate of her needs, etc. on and on about how, between her overly conservative mother and her uncaring husband she had become convinced that sexual pleasure for a woman was a myth.

Not really the discussion that I ever thought I would have with my mother, especially at breakfast sitting at a table with my brother and two men who were, until last night, complete strangers. After all, at fourteen, I had zero actual sexual experiences, and only knew what I had learned in school, plus what other girls had told me during sleepovers. But I was angry with my mother for being unfaithful to Dad. She had told both Travis and I for years that marriage and love meant devotion to one's partner. She had hammered that thought into our heads at every opportunity. Yet here she was, sleeping with a stranger and then telling us all about it, as if her discovery made it okay. I didn't know about sexual satisfaction. I didn't know about sexual frustrations. I didn't know about any of that stuff. But I did know that you weren't supposed to have sex with strangers and that you weren't supposed to cheat on your husband. I was pretty upset. But then she dropped the real bomb on me, and I almost fainted. She said that she was thinking of asking this man, Hank, our host, to have sex with me too! I really thought that Travis was going to lose it all right then. He told Mom that she was absolutely nuts. He was furious, but Mom stayed calm and suggested that we all go see about the crashed van that we had abandoned.

We discovered that the van was no where to be found, apparently washed away in the heavy rains throughout the night. As Travis so aptly said, we were stuck here, in the middle of nowhere, until Dad calls us. Travis was still extremely upset with Mom. Conveniently, hank had some kind of chores to do outside and asked Travis to assist him. Travis was more than ready to get away from having to talk to Mom right now, so he jumped at the opportunity.

When it was just Mother and I in the house, I asked her if she was serious about making me have sex with Hank. That opened up the discussion from the morning again, and she went on for sometime about how she had always been so prudish and conservative about sex and how she had protected Travis and me from being exposed to it too early in our lives. She said that until last night, she had never experienced any joy with sex, and couldn't see any point in subjecting us to it too early in our lives. Then she talked in great detail about everything that had happened last night. By the time she had finished explaining, I felt like I had relived her marriage to Dad, as well as the time that she had been growing up with her parents. We talked, calmly for almost three hours about her life. She told me stuff that I suspect she had never told anyone else, things about how she felt as a little girl, about how being forced to skip a grade had upset her and forced her to make new friends that had different privileges than she did. I sense that her childhood and years in high school must have been pretty frustrating to her. At some point, she began talking about having sex and how being deprived from its joys had caused her to think of it as a burden for a girl. She knew now, she said, that that opinion had clouded her judgment in how to deal with our sexual development as well. She was nearly in tears apologizing for the terribly negative thoughts and values that she had tried her hardest to instill in us. And then she explained why she now thought it was so important for me to enjoy my first experiences with sex. She made it sound so enjoyable, I agreed to do it.

I was incredibly nervous, first about being naked in front of the others and then about not knowing what to do during. And yes, Travis and Mom were both in the room watching. I didn't really want to be naked in front of my brother, but Hank said it would benefit both of us, somehow, and had to be, so there they were. And, before we even started, Travis told me that he had already seen me naked many times because the bathroom door in our home in Ohio would never stay completely closed. He said that seeing me naked made him excited, and that made me feel better about everything, for some reason. I will spare you the details of my first sexual adventure other than to say that Hank had gotten me so excited I could barely remain on the bed. When he entered me finally, it hurt so much I actually cried, but he was so sweet and he waited so long for the pain to go away. I am quite sure that no boy that I ever date would ever, ever have waited that long for me. And then he started moving inside me and it was heavenly. There really isn't a way to describe it, at least I don't know of one. It felt unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Here was this man, with his penis inside me, moving in and out. Just the feeling of having a penis inside me was so different, and the feeling of all the moisture there that made it so smooth for him and then he moved and that's what I am at a loss to describe. I just wanted to feel him pushing in me over and over and suddenly I lost control of my body as he moved within me and I knew everything was alright then. But he kept moving and it felt so good, and then my body began shaking even harder and I think I fainted for a few seconds, but he kept moving so I began to move against him and he would drive into me and I could feel his body hit mine and I thrust up to him harder and he pushed into me all the way and then I felt his climax. I felt the hot liquid as it squirted into me, deep inside me, and I came again. There is just no adequate way to describe those feelings.

I thought that the "lesson" was over. I just wanted to snuggle with Hank and hold him next to me, but he said there was much more to learn. He was correct. I had completely forgotten about the two people that were watching us, and Travis had been sitting right next to the bed, seeing everything. To put it bluntly, he was about as hard and excited as a guy could possibly become, and Hank said that I owed it to a boy to relieve him of that condition. I had no idea what he was suggesting, but very quickly I learned how to perform oral sex on a guy. Talk about a new experience--wow! That is not something that I would have done voluntarily, had I just been on a date, but with Hank and Mom both encouraging me, I actually managed to do it successfully, including swallowing an almost unending stream of his semen. After that, I just wanted to sleep. I was exhausted, and slept for several hours.

They allowed me to sleep for most of the afternoon, but then we were back in Hank's room again. He asked Travis to see if he could get me excited following the techniques that he had watched Hank use. I was really nervous about having Travis touch me like that. It seemed really strange and yet, once he started, I guess you could say it was strangely different. It felt really good, and he was very tender and loving. I think that was the difference. I could feel the emotion in his hands and fingers and it really made me excited quickly. Before I knew it, I was having little orgasms and then I looked up and saw and felt Hank as he entered me again. That is such a wonderful feeling; it's really difficult to compare it to anything else.

Then he had me turn over onto my hands and knees and I felt him behind me again, but this time he pushed into my bottom. That hurt so much it makes my fingers sore to write this. I begged him to stop, pleaded with him, but he kept on, slowly pushing into my bottom until I felt him all the way in there. And then he started to pull out again and I was relieved, but only because I didn't really know what his intention was. He began pushing in again; a series of slow strokes, and while he did that, he began to caress me in front. I don't really know when it stopped hurting so much and when it began to feel different, but I remember feeling him rubbing inside me, feeling that part of my body almost on fire, and I could hear myself moaning and demanding that he do it harder and deeper, my voice totally different than normal. Whatever kind of orgasms that he caused me to experience felt completely different and was so overpowering I ended up fainting on the bed. When I awoke, he was standing there, so I just reached out and pulled him to me and we kissed for a long time.

Once again, Hank looked at Travis and asked if he had been paying attention. I looked at Travis below the waist and could see quite easily that he had been paying strict attention. Hank asked me what I wanted to do about that and I pulled Travis to me. When he entered me, it was so beautiful that I wanted to cry. I have never felt closer to him, and at that moment, never wanted him to leave my side or my bed. When I felt him shoot in me, I knew that Mom had been correct and that this was an experience that I would never forget.

When I think back about that day, it's almost like a disconnected day in my life. Prior to that, I had been a normal teen aged kid with an older brother, parents who loved me, and a pretty stable life. Granted, Mom had always been a whole bunch weird about sex and stuff, but other than that, our relationship was as good as any mother and daughter could ask for. But then that day started out discovering that Mom had slept with Hank and ended with me having sex for the first time, with him and then with my brother. It can't get much weirder than that, can it? But from that moment on, I think everyone thought of Travis and me as adults. We were suddenly "grown ups" in Mom's eyes. That was very different! But everything changed when Mom called Dad a couple days later and discovered that he was sleeping with his secretary, in her apartment! It was the same secretary that he had when we lived in Cleveland, and she isn't but five or six years older than Travis. She could be our sister! Boy did that make a mess out of Mom. She was furious at Dad. For days she spoke in short, clipped sentences, her jaw always tight. She stomped around Hank's house and I thought it was probably a good thing that Dad wasn't anywhere nearby. I have never seen Mom so angry. But finally she calmed down a little and we began to talk about life after Dad. One thing was sure--we were not going to continue on to Arizona. And then we began to talk about life with Hank.

Hank spent a long time telling us his life story. That was pretty cool in my eyes because it reinforced my idea that they were thinking of us as adults. After all, grown men do not need to explain to kids why it appears that they don't ever work. But Hank did, and then he took us on a long walk showing us just how much land he owned and stuff. And then we went to look at the nearby towns, and checked out the schools, and all of that was pretty good. Hank had already said that we could stay as long as we wanted, and just like that, we sat down, talked about it and decided to do just that.