Chapter 11

First thing Aric noticed was that he heard a soft crackling fire as he tried to open his eyes.

The pain was extremely intense behind his eyes and it felt like someone was trying to beat their way out from inside his head for a few moments.

Taking a couple deep breathes he tried to move again, and even though the pain was just as intense, he found he could start to sit up. The thick blanket that was over him fell away and he realized that it felt as if he was on top of a couple more blankets as well to keep the ground from leeching his body's heat while he slept.

A groan escaped his lips as he opened his eyes and tried to look around. He could see that he was back in his own clothing, minus his boots, and he was thankful for that.

Continuing to look around he could see that it was predawn and he could see Brianna sitting off to the side with her knees drawn up to her face with her arms tightly held around them.

Something in the way the way she was shivering told Aric it had nothing to do with the night's air. As he looked at her, she seemed lost as she looked deeply into the fire. Her mind was obviously elsewhere. Aric really hoped it wasn't because she was dwelling on what she did back at Wolfgang's house.

Forgetting his own pain over his concern for his wife, he gradually approached her as he tried to remain silent. But he was surprised that even then she didn't seem to acknowledge him. She remained staring into the fire.

"Brianna. Thank you for taking care of me. How long have I..." started Aric

"Was it all worth it? Have you ever really been happy with me?" asked Brianna suddenly as she interrupted him as she continued to stare into the fire.

"Excuse me?" asked Aric.

He was at a loss for what she was talking about.

"Are you really happy with me? Don't you feel badly at times you had to settle to be with me? If he hadn't ruined your life wouldn't you have been happier? Aren't you really only angry that he messed up your life so badly? With the lives of the ones who were so close to you?

"That because of all of what he did to you, that you just had to settle for me? Don't you wish that things could have worked out differently now that you know?" asked Brianna so softly it was almost hard to hear.

As Aric tried to look at her face he could see she had been crying for a while and appeared to be in danger of doing it again.

Aric wanted to reach out and hold her, but something told him that he had to fix this before she would let him. For all her strength and daring he realized that she had an extremely fragile psyche that could be easily crushed at a moments notice.

"Why would you ever say that Hon? Have I ever done anything to give you that impression?" asked Aric solemnly.

Looking his way for the first time he could see the large tears swimming around in her eyes.

"Why do you believe I had to settle for you? How could you believe that anyone who was with you would ever believe that they had settled for anything? Why do you feel you have so little worth to me?" asked Aric as he looked in her eyes.

"He said his spies were first watching you when you were younger and later watching us for seasons! That they knew all about us! Everything!

"That, in his files, it said that you always looked like you and Andrea were always so deeply in love while you were together, but for us, we just looked like we were together for convenience.

"He said that you always appeared as if you held back when you were with me and it looked as if you settled for me because you had no one else," said Brianna softly.

The way she said it broke Aric's heart. How dare Wolfgang make her feel this bad thought Aric, as he looked at her.

"Bri, I've never settled for you. I know I've mentioned this before, but I've always wanted you more than you could ever know since the first time I saw you. The two things both of you are missing and that should be in his file is this, I grew up with Andrea so we were comfortable together.

"Kind of like we are now, but I had seasons to develop those feelings with her before the two of us ever met. And I would like to think that if you been the one I grew up with, you and I would have had that back then as well," said Aric as he reached for her face.

Touching her chin, he slowly moved her head so that he was sure that she was completely facing him.

"And the other reason was that I was constantly forced to prove my love for Andrea. I didn't really understand how trying that could be until I met you. As a young boy I just didn't fully understand why that shouldn't ever be the case. I wasn't smart enough to realize how dangerous that would be in the long run for me.

"Andrea was always taking me places I didn't want to go, for example places like the waterfront or the docks, where I was constantly getting into fights with other men who also wanted her attention. They would constantly challenge me to fights and she would stand back and watch it all every time as I was forced to protect her.

"She was physically doing other things to me, touching me and feeling on me, but refused to let me do the same to her. She enjoyed teasing me and making me wait for her attention, but no matter how frustrated that she could see that it made me she would never stop.

"Andrea either couldn't or refused to see it. It was like she enjoyed that control over me, and something that I allowed her to have. Something I wasn't smart enough to realize the danger of.

"And she would never stop doing those things. No matter how often I tried to make her understand how dangerous some of her actions were, she was always only interested in what she wanted.

"She never once gave up on her ideas of fun or even considered putting my safety first. All she saw was what she wanted to do, no matter what happened to us before.

"But in your case you didn't do that once. You were confident and you and I worked well together to find a mutual understanding of things we wanted to do together. If you wanted to do something to me you let me do it to you. You truly wanted to make me happy.

"Of course it didn't hurt that you were just as dangerous as I was and could put out the hurt on your own," said Aric as he saw a hint of a smile on her face "but you didn't force me to prove my love almost daily for you. You didn't force me to always constantly fight for you. You didn't tease me for your own pleasure."

"It was only after I was out of that relationship and into one with you that I truly understood the difference, and I'd like to say that I grew up somewhere along the way as well. And it's only because of you, that I can see where if I was truly in love with her and she was truly in love with me Wolfgang wouldn't have been able to come between us.

"I know you remember Keith? Remember how you told me you just knew it wasn't me? You didn't wait until you slept with him first to decide if it was really me. You weren't curious about what it was like to be with another man and use that as a reason or excuse to try him out.

"Once you knew it wasn't me you put a stop to it and came looking for me immediately. Andrea wouldn't have done that. No correction, she didn't do that when she had the chance. But you did. Your first thought was of me, but hers was of her curiosity and of what new things it might bring.

"So how could I ever regret that? How could I ever regret putting all my love and trust into you? How could I regret someone loving me enough to put me before herself all the time? If you feel I settled for someone that determined to be with me and who proved to me how love was supposed to work, then I'm happy to have settled," smiled Aric.

As he finished speaking Brianna seemed to launch herself at Aric as she bowled him over and he ended up on his back with her bawling loudly with her face buried in his chest.

Aric stroked her hair as he realized at the start of their conversation that some of the things Wolfgang said really bit deep, but he was sure she could get past them. She really was the love of his life and he really did feel lucky to have her. How could you not love a beautiful woman who had fought a small army single handed to free you and really asked nothing in return?

"I'm sorry ... I know you've told me seasons before ... a few times ... but it just really hurt to hear this time ... as I thought that ... that you might have been ... far happier without me," Brianna said softly, as she seemed to be almost hiccupping as she spoke, and while she was still crying brokenly as her voice seemed to break from time to time.

"No I believe I think I might have thought so for a time if we had never met, but I would have realized it soon enough if I had married Andrea. I would probably still be fighting to prove something to her even today. She judged my love for her by how often I was willing to fight for her. I would never want to go back to that point in my life. Ever," said Aric smiling down at her.

He continued to rub her hair as he went on speaking.

"But Wolfgang's interfering backfired on him because it led me to you. And I can honestly say that I have never once regretted being with you. And I would have easily outlived Andrea and probably wouldn't have cared, but you are here with me and we are still building our lives together.

"You have to remember that I was so desperate to keep you with me and what we had, that I desperately gave you part of what makes me, me just to ensure nothing took you from me. I had never once considered doing that with Andrea in all our time together," said Aric.

Sill crying Brianna started to rub the top of her head against his chin insistently as he finished speaking, and before Aric realized it, Brianna shifted upwards and was now starting to also now kiss him intently.

Not sure about the quick change of emotions, Aric didn't stop her because he didn't want her to feel he was rejecting her in any way as vulnerable as she felt, so he let her have her way with him.

Soon she had his pants around his ankles, his shirt wide open as she rained tears and hot kisses all over his chest. Her hands seemed to be softly everywhere as she did this.

Again before he realized it, her pants were gone and she was now astride him as she looked down at him. Her eyes seemed to shine as she gently rocked above him, sought his nipples to lightly pinch them with both her hands, as she lovingly stared down at him.

He smiled as he reached for her face and tried to gently rub it himself with both of his hands. Her hands suddenly seemed to be every where on him, clutching and feeling on him.

All too soon he was quickly reaching a climax as it felt as if Brianna's breath seemed to catch on her as she too was starting to be effected. She almost seemed to be gasping out into the slowly brightening day.

Arching her back she pulled away right as it hit, and Aric had to be content with holding onto her slender waist, as he too started into his.

Smiling as they finished Aric looked at her and softly said "You know, I will always love you more than anyone else and more than you could ever know."

Right as he finished speaking he passed out again.

The next thing Aric knew was that the sun was brightly shining and he was again dressed and under blankets. He didn't feel sticky in his underwear so Brianna must have cleaned him up again while he was out.

This time when he tried to sit up it didn't feel like someone was using his head for an anvil.

Looking around once more he could see Brianna sitting off to the side. She had made something to eat and had covered it with another travel plate to keep it clean.

Slowly sitting up he smiled as he said "Bri, you have got to take pity on me. If you keep sexing me into unconsciousness like this, as utterly enjoyable as it is, I'm never going to get the chance to live any more of my life than I have."

Brianna blushed deeply as she giggled, but she seemed far happier than the last time he saw her.

"Bri, are we alright? I know that sometimes deeply rooted fears are hard to get over at times, but based on what we have learned we need to face them together from now on," said Aric as he looked her way.

Slowly getting up she walked over to him and sat across his lap. Kissing him deeply she said "I was a fool to keep questioning your love for me. I swear from this point forward nothing will ever make me do it again."

Smiling he kissed her back, and while doing so she suddenly started to rub his chest.

Leaning back he said "We better stop. I need to be able to stay awake at some point today."

Brianna leaned back and softly punched his shoulder before she embraced him once more and then she got up.

"So how long was I out?" Aric asked.

"First time just over five days, the second time since day break early this morning," said Brianna as she turned her back and started to break camp.

"That explains why she was so intent this morning. She must have been going crazy locked into her feelings of helpless and having that combined with deep feelings of desperate desire at the same time. She must have struggled hard to try to keep from forcing herself on me if I didn't want her this morning, " thought Aric.

Getting up Aric came up behind her as he reached around and held her. She leaned back into him as she put her arms over his and closed her eyes.

He was the only man to ever make her feel this way and she would fight anyone who tried to take him from her. But it was only as long as he wanted her as well. But since he truly and sincerely seemed to want her she felt could face anything now.

"What are our plans for today then?" asked Brianna as she reached back and fondled Aric's lightly fuzzy face. He would need a shave soon.

"Well, I need to go back and finish our talk with Wolfgang," started Aric as he felt Brianna stiffen in his arms.

"I know you don't want me to, but I have a few more questions for him before we head for home. I mean our real home. We need to get more information from him to see if he is telling the complete truth before we can decide what to do about him, and of course we then have to have a talk with the kids and Galen," said Aric.

"Yes that makes sense. When do we leave?" asked Brianna.

"No, I think you should stay here. I don't want him to make you feel any worse than you did before," said Aric with concern.

Turning around in his arms Brianna put her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes.

"That can never happen again. I'm sure of it this time. I know I said that before, but I was never faced with so many repeated shocks as I had this time either. It quickly wore me down.

"But I have to go back. I have to face him to let him know that I'm not that easy to push around or scare. Also I'm the only thing that can stop him if he decides not to take no for an answer," said Brianna softly. Then she kissed his lips.

"Ok, I see when I'm licked. We try it your way. But since we understand what to expect let's see if we can surprise him for once," said Aric.

As they broke apart he asked a few questions that came to mind when he first woke up.

"Honey, how did you get all of this stuff? I mean when we left we went from the Inn straight to see Wolfgang, where did all our stuff come from?" asked Aric.

"I snuck into town under the cover of darkness, paid our bill, and then left. Now that I know what to look for, Wolfgang's spies were easy for me to spot. It took me over 20 miles to get here by coming back in a round way, and in some cases sticking to the trees helped.