Chapter 16: What the...

Allison

My meeting with Brandiy had been ... enlightening.

The dreamscape shimmered around me, appearing as if one of those heat-distortion waves you see on desert highways had washed across the whole landscape. When the wave had passed, I found myself standing in what could only be called a palatial room. I'd only been here twice before, but still there was a reassuring sense of rightness to it. The walls were black marble laced through with veins of bright pink — the blocks of stone so smooth and finely fitted that you couldn't even see mortar lines where they met. My guess was there wasn't any mortar, but rather the stones were cut to fit together a special way, and you would have to dismantle — rather than breach — the walls. The massive, gilt-edged, oak doors were closed, but from somewhere enough of a breeze was getting in to ripple the tapestries fixed high on the walls around the room.

In front of me a table was set with fine porcelain china for two, along with several small plates of snack-sized sandwiches, puff pastries, and scones. I knew from experience that the pastries were to die for, and I was very happy that dream calories didn't stick to your real hips.

I turned towards where I knew the throne would be, and there she was, a tall slender figure appearing only a few years older than myself, though I now suspected she was in fact much older. Even so, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, for hers was a natural beauty, needing no makeup or artifice of any kind. Smooth skin with just enough color that you knew she wouldn't burn in the sun, but still pale compared to my tan. Her silver hair was braided — the braid held with a ribbon that matched the trim on her dress and draped forward over one shoulder. Even so it still reached almost to her waist. The dress was silver to match her hair, but done in delicate plates to mimic the scales of her other form. The pink trim suddenly reminded me of the trim on the little white dress that Amy had worn for so long. Full lips, elegant cheekbones, a pert little nose, and those eyes; God I could get lost in those eyes, but now wasn't the time.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Hello, Allison," she answered, ignoring my question and gliding down the steps to hug me. "It's good to see you safe. Would you join me for tea? We have much to discuss, you and I — and do not worry; your brother will not intrude. If he searches for you he will know that you are safe and don't wish to be disturbed, just as he did before, only now he will know what that odd feeling he used to get means. Please," she held a chair for me, "sit with me."

It's not everyday you get to have tea with a dragon, and — while this was more likely her true appearance — that is what she would always be to me, because that's what she was when we first met. To me, this woman-shape — as beautiful as it was — was only a convenience.

"Thank you," I said, taking my seat and unfolding my napkin into my lap.

She sat herself across from me and did the same, then offered to pour for me. I would have done it, but it is the host's duty to pour, unless servants are present.

"Scone?" she offered after filling her own cup and setting the pot down on the warming plate.

"Yes, please," I said. "Apricot?"

"Of course," she said with a smile. She took up the silver tongs and moved one of the round, crusty scones onto my dessert plate, then helped herself to one before lifting her cup in a silent thank you for my company, and taking a sip. The formalities concluded when I lifted my cup to her, thanking her for having me, and took a sip of my own. I'm not really much of a tea or coffee person, but I always loved this one with her, probably just because it was a dream.

"No," she said. "The tea is real, and I have not done anything to it to make it more appealing."

"Are you reading minds now?" I asked, setting my cup back down.

"No, but each time we have shared it you have commented how much you like it. Given recent events I suspected you might think it an affectation. I assure you it is not — it is a very old and special blend, the ingredients and proportions handed down through my family for generations."

"I see. Thank you for clearing that up."

I took another sip and braced myself for what I had to do next.

"You lied to me, Brandiy."

"I know," she said softly, "and I am very sorry that it was necessary, but you do understand that it was necessary, don't you?"

Yeah, I did. I nodded, took another sip of my tea and moved on. "Were you always real?"

"I'm disappointed, Allison, that was a very sloppy question, but I understand what you mean. Yes, from the very first time you dreamed of me. You needed something unusual enough to trigger the right memory when the time came. Obviously it worked since, when your darling brother decided to take you and Shannon out for some fun, he called on me again, and in doing so fulfilled the promise he had made so long before."

She reached a hand across the table and placed it on mine. "I am so very sorry for your loss, Allison. Truly I am."

The compassion in her eyes was real. If it hadn't been, there wouldn't have been tears forming in mine. I moved on before they got out of hand.

"But that was necessary too, wasn't it?"

"Yes," she said, the sorrow in her voice was genuine, too. She raised her napkin and dabbed at one eye.

We talked for what seemed like hours, though much of it was me talking about my energy theories and her listening. She wouldn't tell me much but she did confirm a few things. It was nice to finally have someone I could talk to about all this. Just being able to vocalize it seemed to help the process along, and I found myself rushing down pathways I had shied away from before. One thing she confirmed was my theory about Jimmy's disappearing DNA. Although, that led me somewhere I hadn't been expecting to go...

"His DNA breaks down when removed from his field, doesn't it? Once the blood, or hair, or dead skin, are removed, they begin to degrade."

"Very good," she said.

"That's going to make it awfully hard to have kids, isn't it?"

"Why would you say that?" she asked.

"Because if what you say is true, then all his sperm would die before they had a chance to fertilize an ovum."

"Unless?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Unless what? Once it's ejaculated and he withdraws, even if his field extended beyond his body, unless he kept in contact the whole time the field would...

Jamie.

Suddenly an image of my favorite sister popped into my head. Why? Was she somehow related to the question?

The question answered itself; Jamie needed Jimmy's energy to survive, too long away and she got tired — fast — and disoriented; according to Lizzy, too long away and she would die. Physical contact was the only thing that helped her. If she was out too long, physical contact wasn't enough, she had to go back to the source. Like her batteries needed recharging. But once she was charged?

"Unless somehow his energy remained longer," I said, nodding my head as another piece appeared in the picture I was building. I had no idea where in the picture it went but at least I had it. A couple thousand more and I might have a clue what was really going on. "Would I have gotten pregnant if Jamie had remained in me that day?"

"Come now, Allison, you know the mechanics. Were you ovulating?"

It wasn't an answer and we both knew it.

"You're close," she continued, "but that is not the answer. Let me ask you something. How did Jimmy find you?"

"Jimmy always knows where I am. He can always ... ah, I see, another piece of the puzzle."

In my mind I was writing notes on a white board: Energy; Jamie, Jimmy always knowing where I was — and not just me, but Easy and Amber, too. Were there others? And he had found me while I was drugged — something he had never been able to do before. Even with Rebecca he had had to work through Amy to find her. If my theory was right, then it all came back to energy. But what was different about the special ones?

I kept coming back to Jamie for some reason. Then I saw it; Jamie, laying with her head in Lizzy's lap, long past time when she should have gone back, gone home as she put it. Why had being with Lizzy let her stay out longer? I had known — or suspected at least — that she would be able to, my original thought being that somehow Lizzy's own special energy field could sustain Jamie for a while, but what if that wasn't it? That only left Jamie somehow getting Jimmy's energy from Lizzy, but how? Ah, but what if it wasn't from Lizzy but through her? What if... ?

"Somehow Jimmy's energy connects us," I said finally. "That's why Jamie can stay out longer if she is with one of us; somehow we act as a conduit for Jimmy's energy. Walter told Jimmy that he had given a piece of himself to Amber, and that it was that piece that allowed her to call him. Jimmy's energy has altered something in our patterns to match his. That's the piece Walter was talking about."

I was talking more to myself than to her, and I could feel myself nodding as pieces fitted themselves together, and a tiny portion of the picture became clear in my mind.

"It's like breaking a crystal fragment off of a larger piece. The crystalline structure is identical, so if you tap either crystal, the other piece will echo the vibration. Jimmy must have used his piece to make my piece echo, then followed the sound, or rather the vibration, back to me. That's how he found me, even though I was drugged. I know that's not really it, but it's the best analogy I could come up with."

I got up and started pacing next to the table. Not far away, my white board showed up with all my notes scribbled on it. I walked over to it and picked up a marker, continuing to talk to myself while Brandiy looked on.

"The piece he gave us is a modification or addition to our patterns, that allow ours to receive energy from his. Jamie's pattern is ... incomplete, lacking that piece. No, that's not it," I said, erasing my last note. "Her pattern is different. It stores energy, like a battery, where ours just pass it through, like a conduit." I was nodding my head now as things started making sense. "And the reason that she can stay out longer now is that she is learning, probably unconsciously, how to manage her energy better; that and probably being able to take a bigger charge as she matures.

"When she returned from taking care of Charles and Andrews she was tired. Even though she had been gone a relatively short period of time, that job had taken a lot more energy, so she had to go home. Handling Kurtz — jamming him physically — was almost too much, she didn't have enough left to go back on her own, and Jimmy had to go to her. I need to talk to Lizzy about how he looked after rescuing mom and dad ... and me, I'll bet he was a wreck. God, I don't have the science for this; I'm not even sure it exists yet! I am going to be in school fucking forever!"

My brain was starting to run in circles, so I set the marker down, sent the whiteboard to a closet somewhere to deal with later, and returned to the table, pouring fresh tea for both of us and helping myself to a small sandwich.

"The DNA thing has got to be a pretty recent change," I said, "they took blood at the hospital barely six months ago; I'm pretty sure they would have said something if it had started breaking down before their eyes. So he's been ... what? Evolving, along with his gift? The energy has been changing him just as it's changed the rest of us. I don't suppose you'll tell me where it comes from?"

"What do you mean, 'where it comes from'?" she asked.

"Oh, don't even," I said, giving her a look. "This isn't something he's creating on his own; he just ... interacts with it. It's got to be coming from somewhere."

"Very good," she said with a smile. "Your brother is a ... nexus... , of sorts."

"A nexus?" I asked. "In what sense of the word?"

"Several, actually, you've already noticed that things seem to happen around him; that he seems to have a knack for being around important events. And then there are the people who come into his life..."

"Yeah, we got that part," I said in wry voice. "People seem to come into his life for a reason. That covers one definition, two actually; connection and center, but there are others; anything else you want to share?"

She just stared at me.

"Hmmm. It was you that told Amber that Christine was important, then?"

"Yes, and I'm very sorry if it distressed her to not understand the feeling, but..."

"But you knew I'd figure it out."

I had a sudden thought and asked, "Was it you that got Shannon out of the car?"

"Yes," she said, suddenly sad again, "her last hours were going to be painful enough without the fire. I could not bear to see her suffer."

"The fire wouldn't have killed her?"

"Not without killing them all. The part of your brother that was to become Jamie would not have let her die while there was strength left to try and save her."

"So what's the deal with Christine? Lizzy is pretty obvious, but what's up with her? All that Lizzy can tell is that there is something weird with her pattern. And of course I can't see it at all, which is going to make researching all of this a real challenge to say the least. Can you tell me that much at least?"

"I'm sorry, Allison, but the truth is that I'm not going to be telling you much at all. Occasionally I'll confirm your findings or theories, and even that not very often — just until you figure out how to do it on your own. Mostly I will be here for you, to give you someone to talk to about your theories. However, one of those theories that I will confirm is your fear of what happens when Jimmy and Lizzy finally stop torturing themselves."

"Dramatic?" I asked.

"You have no idea," she said.

"Great," I said sarcastically. "Is it safer for the rest of us to go with them or find a place to hide?"

"For that part of it you are quite correct: There is no place you can hide from that part of the effect. If you have a piece of him, find someone you want to be with and enjoy the ride, because distance isn't going to matter."

"What about the others; Mom and dad, Bob and Rebecca, Mel and Lynn?"

Her smile made me grimace.

"Susan?" I asked.

"It will affect everyone they know depending on the depth of their connection."

"Great." I seemed to be saying that a lot. "Anything else?"

"When the time comes, the analogy you will be looking for is a dandelion."

A dandelion? In my mind I saw an image of a leafy green weed with a single yellow flower sticking up in the middle of my brother's otherwise perfectly manicured lawn. What the... ?

Jimmy

Lizzy and Amber were already at the beach — out in the water playing with the dolphins — when Christine and I arrived. As always, Lizzy seemed to immediately know when we arrived, and they both started swimming toward shore.

"By the way," Christine said. "I had a really nice time tonight. Lizzy was right; you're worth the wait, and I'm glad you made me wait until we could both play."

"Thank you," I said. "I do my best."

"Do you?" she asked. "Don't take this wrong, but I kind of get the idea you're holding back." She chuckled and added, "Not that I'm complaining; lord knows I'm not complaining. I'm just a little worried that I'm right and wondering if I can handle it if you ever go all out."

"What makes you think I'm holding back?" I asked.

"Well, answering my question with a question, for one thing. Hmm, why do I think you're holding back? I don't know; just a feeling I get." She rolled her eyes and bumped her shoulder against mine. "When I can think at all. Anyway, you've said your life is complicated, and it is. I think part of how you deal with the complexity is you compartmentalize. Right now I'm with Jimmy, Master of Dreamland, but out there... ? Out there I think I'm with David, because David is whom I expect to be with. He's like a suit you put on for me and the rest of the world, but I don't think the suit is big enough for Jimmy. Does that make any sense?"

"I think it makes perfect sense," Lizzy said. She was only a few feet away now, and she covered the last few steps quickly, bouncing into my arms and flinging hers around my neck. She greeted me with a scorching kiss hello.

Christine had released my arm and stepped over to greet Amber, hugging her and kissing her nose playfully. Amber blushed and bit her lip at the unexpected attention. I lost track of what came after as Lizzy's tongue came hunting for mine, and Jamie came forward to show her where it was. It wasn't a wrestling match, just two lovers meeting together in my mouth, but things got hot fast, and with a deep inhalation I pulled back. I could almost feel the passion burning in my eyes as I looked down and found an answering flame in hers.

"And he wonders why I think he's holding back," Christine said, rolling her eyes. "Are they like this every time?"

"Yeah," Amber sighed. "Sweet isn't it?"

"I can't help feeling like I should be jealous, but I can't seem to muster up the ... Have they ever actually set anything on fire doing that?"

"Not physically," Amber answered, "but the night he proposed, everyone knew when she said yes."

"Really?" Christine asked, surprised.

"Oh yeah!" Amber assured her, eyes wide and nodding her confirmation. She turned and whispered in Christine's ear.

Christine's mouth dropped open, and her eyes got wide before she pulled back and looked at Amber. "You're not serious."

When Amber nodded at her, Christine covered her mouth and laughed as she said, "Oh my God!"

Suddenly, there was a roar from the jungle that started just off the beach; it sounded a lot like an angry mountain lion. Everyone was looking at me as the echo died.

"Tell me that was you trying to be funny," Lizzy said.

The sound came again, closer this time, and you could actually see brush moving a little ways back. Suddenly something furry burst from the tree line and onto the beach. It was closer to the size of a bobcat than a mountain lion, and the coloring was totally wrong — more of a mottled gray than the tawny coat you expect on a cougar — but it was definitely feline, with a long thick tail and large paws. It was like no breed I had ever seen before, but at the same time, there was something vaguely familiar about it.

As soon as it saw us it stopped and spun sideways, ears laid back and fur standing tall down its spine. The tail looked like a bottle brush.

"Oh my God," Christine exclaimed with a laugh. "That is too funny!"

"No," Lizzy said, her voice leaving no doubt that she was very serious. "That's not funny at all. Jimmy, you're sure you didn't have anything to do with this?"

"No, I told you, this isn't anything I did."

"Don't be too sure. Christine, what does that look like to you? Why did you laugh?"

"Because it looks kind of like Widget, only bigger. Haven't you ever seen a kitten play? It's like they think they're so much bigger and badder than they really are. I don't know; I just think this is how Widget sees herself sometimes."

Lizzy's next words were for me alone, "Jimmy, freeze this; we need help."

I froze the scene and she called out, "Allison!"

Down the beach, Allison stepped out of the changing tent and looked our way. Then she vanished and reappeared next to Lizzy.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Something's happened," Lizzy said, "and I don't have a clue how or why. See that?" she pointed toward the cat on the edge of the beach.

"Wow," Allison said. "Kind of weird looking, who dreamed that up?"

"No one," Lizzy said. "That's Christine's cat, Widget."

'Shocked' would be a good word to describe my reaction.

"What?" I asked

"Christine hit it right on the head, that is Widget — as she sees herself when she's feeling aggressive, or scared — and right now she is really, really, scared!"

"Elizabeth. Sweetheart," I said, my tone somewhere between calming and conciliatory. "How can that possibly be Widget?"

"Jimmy, I don't know!" she said anxiously. "All I know is that it is; I recognize her pattern. She's larger, and there are some differences in the pattern, but trust me; that is Widget."

I think she could tell that I thought she had lost her mind.

"Don't look at me like that!" she said, pushing my arm. "Jimmy, if she wasn't here, really here, I couldn't see her. Remember how when Amy used to visit I couldn't see her, but now that she's awake, I can? Now I know Amy is different, and she seems to have her own set of rules, but remember when you've tried to take me into other people's dreams, like visiting Samantha that first time? I know you all saw other people on that soccer field, but to me, Samantha was the only one there — besides you guys of course — but my point is, all the others that she dreamed up to play in that game, even the parents on the sidelines, none of it existed to me, but I see Widget!"

"Wait," Allison said, speaking up suddenly. "Back up. You said you recognize Widget's pattern, but that it's bigger and there are differences. Forget bigger, what's different about her pattern."

"What do you mean?" Lizzy asked.

"I mean look at her pattern," Allison said intently. I don't think she meant it to come out so commanding, but it seemed to really get Lizzy's attention. "Look closely; study it. What's different from what you saw before, and does anything that's different look familiar?" She took Lizzy's hand and pulled her toward the cat.

"Look past the fear, that's a distraction; look for the underlying pattern. Compare it to what you saw before — when you were driving out. Can you find the differences; tell what they are? Is it more complex? Are there things there now that weren't there before?"

"Yes," Lizzy said.

"Very good, Elizabeth," Allison said, sounding a lot like my third grade teacher. "Why don't you share it with the rest of the class? Which part?"

Lizzy couldn't help but smile as she answered. "All of the above. You're right, the fear is a distraction, and it's the underlying pattern that's the key. Her pattern has changed — not too radically, or I wouldn't have recognized it as being her — but it's more complex; there seem to be new pieces, almost like another pattern has attached itself to hers."

"Okay," Allison said, nodding her head. "Now we're getting somewhere. Now, focus on the new part, anything look familiar about it?"

Lizzy got a strange look on her face, like she was seeing something but couldn't really tell what it was. "I don't know," she said. "I mean, it kind of looks like it could be familiar — but at the same time, not."

Allison turned to me, "Jimmy, could you give us a few moments, please? Just leave everything the way it is and go to the cabana or something?"

I certainly wasn't expecting that. Why would Allison want me to leave when we were right in the middle of something like this?

"Allison, what the heck is going on?"

She took my hands in hers. "Jimmy?" she said, looking me in the eyes. "Jimmy, I need you to trust me here, okay? I need to talk to Lizzy about some things — things that I really think it would be best if you didn't know a lot about just yet. I'm working on some theories; ever since you left, my brain has been working overtime to try and figure out a lot of the new stuff that's going on. You may have noticed that your gift is no longer limited to subconscious fantasies; you're starting to impact the physical universe, and I'm trying to figure out what's going on. If I start telling you things — or talking about some of them before I understand what's really going on — you're going to get freaked out, and that's not going to help. Please, I'm asking you to trust me. Right now I need to ask Lizzy some questions, and I don't want you to hear them or ask her about them later. If you do, she's going to tell you that she agrees with me and that you should just leave it alone and let me work. I'm also probably going to need her help for some of the research I'm going to be doing, and I'll want you to leave her alone about that as well. In return, I promise you that when I know what's going on — when I'm sure — I'll tell you, and we can talk about it, okay?"

"Great," I said, shaking my head in disgust. "I've been promoted to lab rat again. Okay, fine; just remember you promised to tell me when you know what's happening, because I plan to hold you to it."

"I know. I love you. Thanks for understanding," she gave me a quick kiss. "Now, go away."

Allison

I knew that there had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for how and why a cat had somehow wandered into Jimmy's dreamspace, but I had no freaking clue what it might be. I did, however, have a pretty good idea where to start. Only one thing had changed recently; only one new factor had been added to our collective equation: Christine.

Coming, as it did, practically on the heels of my conversation with Brandiy the night before, I wasn't the least bit surprised.

I waited until Jimmy was safely tucked away in the cabana before turning to Lizzy.

"He's not going to like this, is he?" she asked.

"If I'm right, it's going to really — I mean really — freak him out. That's why I don't want him to know until I'm sure. Lizzy, I want you to think of the last time you saw a newborn baby ... Got it? I need a good strong memory. People you knew really well."

"Okay," she said tentatively.

"Now tell me if I'm right. I know your experiences through life change your pattern; alter it subtly, color it, that sort of thing? If that's true, then a newborn baby is as close to a blank slate as there is. Now, given that our experiences change us, do they change our fundamental, basic pattern, or do they just add to it, color it, maybe warp it here or there?"

"Okay," she said, thinking about the question. "Yes, you're right, most of our experiences, everything short of the really traumatic stuff, is just, oh ... window dressing; it doesn't change the pattern so much as decorate it. Traumatic stuff changes the pattern; sometimes good, sometimes bad, depending on the circumstances, and yes, a baby is about as pure a pattern as you can get."

"Good," I said. "Now, think of that last baby you saw. Picture its pattern in your mind. Is the baby's pattern similar to the parents?"

I watched as she thought about my question for a few seconds, and then suddenly her eyes grew about three sizes, and she spun to look at Christine. I could see the concentration on her face as she studied her. Then she spun again, this time to look at Widget. After a few seconds she sort of huffed out a startled, "Oh, wow!"

"Jimmy and Christine had sex tonight, didn't they?" I asked. "And I don't mean they got friendly and physical; I mean they really got busy."

"Yeah, they did," Lizzy answered. "They were talking about it when they got here. Christine thanked him for a wonderful time, he said something about doing his best, and she challenged him on it, saying that she was pretty sure that — as wonderful as it was — he was holding something back. She was right, of course, but I was surprised she could tell."

"What did you see when you looked at Christine?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "You tell me; what do you think I saw?"

"I think it's what you didn't see," I answered. "I think maybe something is missing?"

"You've really been thinking about this," Lizzy said. "You're close. Yes, something is missing, but not the way you're thinking."

"Hold that thought," I said. "Jamie, I know you're here, you might as well show yourself."

She appeared in front of us with guilt written across her face. "You think this my fault."

"No Jamie, " I assured her. "In fact, I know it's not your fault. You wouldn't take the chance, and if you did, Jimmy would have recognized it immediately and stopped."

"You really think he could have stopped?" she asked. "He sure couldn't the first time it happened."

"I know," I said, "and that's exactly why he would have this time, even if it meant leaving. He would be so worried about her being out of control and doing things she normally wouldn't ... Jamie, it would have felt like rape to him because she didn't understand it, and that is something you need to always keep in mind. I was out of control that day; I loved it, I can't wait to do it again someday, but not by accident. The same is true for Jimmy, trust me; he will never, ever, do that again with someone who doesn't know what they are getting into."

I took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"Jamie, listen to me. You know how you are worried that someday you may do something Jimmy couldn't forgive you for? This could be one of those things."