Friday

The bell rang loudly, indicating to everyone not only the end of class but also the end of the day. I hoped that Miss Taylor had nowhere to go, because I knew I needed at least an hour of her time, if not longer. My name is Sophie Green and I am 14 years old. Mentally and physically I am a well developed young woman, even though I should be classed as a girl. My sister told me once I was 10 going on 18. The people who know me well, have treated me as such, this has helped my confidence, which I will definitely need when I tell my teacher and my parents, my secret.

Since I started here over 2 years ago, I have been by myself, no friends my own age, I made the decision I could survive without them. But with the teachers I try and be friendly towards them, I feel they understand me better. It has helped me to be noticed more as a very hard working student, which helps me want to work harder and impress that much more. Miss Taylor was one such teacher, except we had more of a friendship. If we weren't student or teacher we would definitely be friends, we enjoyed talking a lot about each others interests. We shared a lot of the same likes and dislikes, including the books we read. I was always instigating conversations about her thoughts of the world around us. I trusted her even more than my parents in some ways, like I could tell her anything, so I had chosen her as my secret keeper.

She is finishing off what seems to be some marking. Then suddenly she looked up at me and as soon as she saw me she smiled at me. Her face softened seeing me, it seemed younger. I got up and approached her desk.

"Excuse me miss, but I was wondering if you could spare me some of your valuable time? I need to talk to you about something important to me." She nodded, putting her stuff away and gave me her full atttention, Miss Taylor was just the person I thought she is, caring, honest, trustworthy and forthright.

"Sophie, please sit." She pointed to her one to one chair she kept just a few feet from her own chair. "I am your teacher Sophie, whatever you want to talk to me about, you have both my attention and confidence."

"I really appreciate that. I need to talk to you about something, to tell someone I trusted, hoping for, not only their guidance and support, but also needing a friend, you were my first and only choice. Do you think it will be alright for you to talk to me, or do you feel that maybe this is something you cannot get involved with because of your position? It is quite personal." Miss Taylor took off her reading glasses, folding them and placed them on the desk. Then she turned her chair so she was directly facing me. Miss Taylor is only a few inches taller than me, has long flowing blonde hair to my curly, shoulder length mousy brown hair. She is currently wearing a yellow summer dress. She gives off a very warm, welcoming feeling, giving my heart a much needed boost. The impression she is giving me is that we are equals rather than an adult/child.

"This sounds very serious Sophie and without knowing the problem, I will not be able to give you a straight answer on what my answer will be. So at this moment in time, with the fact school is finished for the day, I want you to consider me as your friend rather than as a teacher. I also want you to feel comfortable and call me by my first name Amy. Whatever you tell me will not leave this room, unless you tell me otherwise. I'm glad you can see me as someone you can confide in, so when you are ready Sophie, tell me how I can help?"

"Ok mis ... Amy, I am a lesbian." It felt pretty good to finally say it, however Amy just looked down nervously at her feet and did not say anything for 5 minutes. Eventually she looked at me seriously and asked "Why are you telling me?"

"One day soon, maybe, students and teachers at this school will find out. Even though you are my teacher, I need a friend at school to help me, I trust you above all others and I know you will be there for me, as you have already said, I have your trust. I am sorry if this has put you in an awkward position."

"I feel slightly honoured that you feel that way towards me, and you have my trust. Do you feel an attraction to me or see me as some sort of future lover?"

"I think you are a very attractive women, but my feelings towards you and my reasons for talking to you about this, are nothing more than as my teacher and my friend. When I feel more comfortable with my sexuality or if I find someone I really care for in that way and that my affections are returned, I may take the next step, I just need a friend, that is all."

"Well thank you again for your trust in me. Why have you not told your parents first?"

"I was going to, I have a very solid and open relationship with them, but I wanted someone at school to know first, a friend, you."

"Are you scared your parents reaction will be less than positive."

"No not really, they may not fully understand, but I do at least feel they will be very loving and supportive of my decision."

"How long have you known?"

"About a year, but as with everything I do, understanding it was the more difficult process. I have been doing a lot of research on the subject, mainly being a young lesbian and about coming out to your parents. The internet has been a most valuable tool over the year."

"So why now, if you do not feel ready to attempt to find a girlfriend, why do you feel you have to tell people now at such a young age, you might find this is just a phase."

"Unless you are gay also," she flinched at this, but I simply continued "you just know in yourself enough to believe the truth. I believe eventually that a few people will figure out I am different from other girls. I will not deny who I am, I have integrity and a strong belief in who I am. My sister told me that no matter what, I am who I am, and I felt you know and understand me better than anyone else to believe me."

"I hope you don't mind me asking these questions, please do not think I am judging you. These are just things that others may ask, it is with hope that not only do you understand it, that I can understand it as well. I have no real experience on this subject." She stopped talking and looked down at her shoes. I could not see her face but from the shaking of shoulders and general body language, she was crying.

"I am sorry Amy, please tell me what is wrong?" I touched her knee to let her know I was there if she needed me, but she flinched at my touch. "I am sorry again, I did not mean to put any pressure on you." I did not know what to do, so decided it would be better to leave. I made my way towards the door, but as my hand reached for the door handle I heard Amy sniffle.

"Please don't leave" she asked. My heart wept for the pain I heard in her voice, I went Amy, wrapping my arms around her, offering my support. After a few minutes she calmed down and asked me to sit again. I apologised again but she put her hands up to stop any further talking from me. "Please don't apologise, you have done nothing wrong, in fact, if anyone should apologise, it should be me. Please allow me to explain. There is something that very few know about me, a secret I have kept hidden from many people. I almost lied to you Sophie, which upset me more than you could ever know. I know that you have asked for my support and I beg your forgiveness for allowing my own past to almost break the trust we have built and ask for your support now. I need to tell you my own secret, it is finally time I stopped hiding, admit to myself the truth and finally tell someone." I knew what she was going to say, but I gave her the chance to tell me.

"Amy, nothing you tell me will leave my lips, if you need to tell me, you have my confidence and trust as well as my friendship. I believe we are true kindred spirits and together we can stand up to our fears, heads held high, together we can do anything." Suddenly she broke down again. I saw the utter relief Amy was showing, I had given her hope. This made me cry as well, I felt proud of myself for being able to help someone important to me. She quickly stood and lifting me out of my seat, wrapped me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist as we held each other and cried. This was a major turning point in our friendship; the bond we had built over the last few years was sealed. I had never felt a feeling as strong. After a lot of comfortable minutes in each others arms we slowly parted, Amy kissed me on the cheek and offered I take my seat again.

"In all my life I have never felt closer to another person. It is a truly amazing feeling, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your friendship and support. I am extremely thankful that you have come into my life."

"I feel exactly the same, I think we are closer than any two friends could be. It is a very warm and happy feeling that I do not wish to lose."

"Whatever happens I feel nothing could ever break our friendship. You know, the moment you first came into this classroom, I knew just by that first smile you gave me that you were someone very special."

"I felt it too. You understand me, you showed your trust and belief in me, better than anyone else has, you have truly become my closet friend and confident. So do you feel ready to talk, if you need more time, I can give you as much as you need."

"No, I need to do this now, I feel strong, stronger than ever. Sophie, I am gay too." Now this is what I was expecting her to say but it was still a shock, but I felt closer to her.

"So you know what I am going through, that helps me a great deal to know I have someone who knows what to expect and who I can talk to without any prejudice."

"Well as I said earlier, not many know my secret, you are the first I have told in 8 years. Since then I haven't even dated to confirm my true feelings. I have hidden myself away from the world and just stuck to teaching, distracting myself with books and homework. There are two people in the world that I loved, and I hope to find love one day, true love, however my fears, I am afraid, got the better of me." She wasn't crying anymore but seemed very upset.

"So these two people, you were afraid of telling either of them?"

"Please let me explain everything to you, so that you understand what you may face in the furture, but also so you know me more personally, than anyone else. Sophie in the time you have started this conversation, you have helped me so much. I have been given the true gift of friendship, I feel blessed to know you and hope whatever I say neither upsets you or ruins the bond we have sealed this very night, a bond that has developed over the years into something special." She paused again.

I slid my chair forward so I could be closer to her. I held out my hands so that I could hold hers, offering my non-verbal support. She took both my hands and held them tight. Amy gave me another smile and continued. "I was 15 years old when I first told anyone of my feeling, telling my best friend. It was on my 15th birthday, during the party I asked Claire to dance, she agreed and it was during that dance I realised just how beautiful she was, how much she meant to me. It was on that night I knew I was gay.

"After several months I understood that I had always preferred girls to boys and had also learned of the term lesbian. I needed to talk to someone, so I felt my best friend would understand and stay by my side. She then asked if I liked her as more than a friend. My answer was honest and true, I would not lie to her, so I said yes but her reaction was not of friendship. I told her I did like her that way, I loved her very much, but this was not what she wanted to hear. She became very angry at me, called me a lot of names. After that I never spoke to her again. We avoided each other at school and ever since.

"What hurt more than anything though, was that not only did she tell her parents, who told my parents, but she told other students, which soon turned into the whole school knowing. I was picked on, it was the worst time of my life. When I finished school, I left home and the county, going to university to study to become a teacher. Sophie, the person you chose to tell your secret too, me, was the one person who actually became a teacher so I could give support to the students, support I never got." Gradually as she told me her story, more and more tears cascaded down her cheeks. I could feel her pain, not only in the years of unshed tears, but in the way her hands were shaking.

"I am sorry Amy that you had to go through that alone, but now I am here, you can share your pain and let it out, find someone who deserves your love. I know you have plenty of love in you and I am very glad to have you in my life and knowing I was absolutely right to choose you as my friend. I only hope that there is another out there, the love of my life, who is just like you." She broke down again but also pulled me into another hug, the best yet, we both felt the love and friendship we shared and both felt even stronger towards each other as we cried happy tears.

We both slowly parted, I looked into Amy's eyes, seeing right into her soul. I raised my hand to gently wipe the tears from her face. She reached up and held my hand to her face as she leaned into it. She then raised her other hand and placed it against my cheek. It was then I realised that I loved her, like the moment she felt with her friend, it was a shocking revelation, but it was a truth I could not deny. Looking into her eyes, I could see that she felt it too. My hand gently stroked the hand that was cupping my face while my thumb on my other hand caressed her cheek.

"I love you." I said softly. After everything Amy had gone through I needed to tell her that, but not only for her but for me. Even at a young age, what I had just said along with the gentle strokes my hands were making, I knew I had found my one true love. Amy smiled, a few gentle tears left her already swollen red eyes.

"I love you too, Sophie." At this declaration to each other, we both leaned towards the other. Our eyes closed, our heads tilted as our lips joined in the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. Our first kiss. It was very gentle, a kiss that both of us could truly feel the love we felt for each other. Eventually we parted, but we kept our faces close. The smile on her face was the biggest I had ever seen, she seemed so happy.

"I don't regret that kiss, but I am your teacher, as you are my student, which in the rule books of all schools, is number one on the not to do list. But we both love each other, a love I know is strong and true, that we will hopefully share for the rest of lives, I will not lose that love, now or ever."

I nodded my head gently in agreement, truly stunned that all this was happening. "Forever." I said simply.

"This is not going to be easy for either of us, we have to be very careful, I am not going to lose you. I need you Sophie like I need air. I don't ever want to feel the loneliness I have felt in the last 8 years. I will hand in my resignation in the morning."

"No! I do not wish you to leave." I said it harshly, but I left no doubt that I would not let her do that.

"But I cannot be here and have you as well, it is just too risky if anyone was to find out."

"I need you here and so does every one of your other students. You are one of the best teachers in the school. You may think I am biased but it is still true. Firstly I would like to say we are partners now. Partners means that no matter what happens, we are in this together, we make decisions together, and that is one I refuse to agree to. I may be 14, but I know who I am and what I want, but I also understand the risk we undertake. We have some big decisions to make, but together we can do anything. We are meant to be together, I don't think I could wait for school to finish to be together. We need to be together now and forever. I love you Amy, I knew that from the moment I met you, but only now realising it. With everything I am I will protect you and our love and make sure for now, nobody finds out." By now neither of us was trying to stop the happy tears we both shed. We were sharing a moment neither of us would ever forget.

"I loved you too, from the moment I met you."

"I was the second person you mentioned earlier." She simply nodded. "Amy I am very afraid of what tomorrow brings us, I know it won't be easy. But we have tonight and I want to suggest something to you. Before I tell you I want you to understand, that we agree or disagree together from now on. However it may help give us some peace of mind for the future."

"You want to tell you parents about us don't you, when you tell them you are a lesbian." Wow, we really do love and know each other well.

"Does our love mean we can read each others mind?" She laughed, which was nice to hear after a night of many tears.

"Kind of, as you say, we are partners, for that we need to understand each other. I agree, I know you well enough to know this is too important for you to keep this from them, and with their support and hopeful acceptance, we must have no secrets from the ones we love, especially each other."

"This night will mean more to me than anything else. We should get home before it is too late. Can you give me a lift home?" She nodded happily. "I should talk to them on my own, but I would like you nearby so I can have them meet you afterwards."

We both exchanged each others numbers, both home and mobile and left to head off to our future. Once she stopped the car outside my house, I needed some reassurance.

"Amy, can I have another kiss, I need to share our love if just for a moment?" She looked in my eyes and kissed me deeply.

"Sophie, no matter what I love you, whatever happens, I will support you in anyway I can."

"Amy I love you too, I'll never get tired of saying that, nothing will keep us apart."

I waved to Amy she drove away. I took a deep breath and opened the door. "Mom, dad, I'm home." I heard shouts of hello and went into the living room. My mom was sat comfortably reading a book. Turning to me she gave me a smile, slipped a bookmark into the book and placed it on the coffee table.