Chapter 6

Ed made the point that we needed some intelligence information before we made our attack. We had to identify just where Prometheus was being held and how he was restrained. The story said that he was simply chained down on a rock, but that really didn't tell us much. There was no way around it, somebody was going to have to go for a look and return, preferably with pictures.

That brought up the question of who was going to go. Naturally, I volunteered, but that got vetoed by Mom. Everybody else who was willing to go was disqualified for some reason or another. That's when I had an inspiration—why not ask Ares to do the recon for us? Certainly, there was no one better qualified, and he could not be harmed by Tartarus if he was caught, since they were both gods and on an equal footing. Actually, Tartarus was mostly nothing but a sadist with very little real strength, and he had to have the backing of Zeus to get away with the awful things that he did.

Ares was quite willing to help us out. In fact he thought that the project was a clever trick to play on Tartarus and Zeus, neither one of whom he held in high esteem. Ed provided Ares with a good quality digital camera which would work in practically any sort of light level.

Ares was good! He came back from Tartarus (it's damned annoying when a place and its curator have the same name!) with a full set of pictures showing how Prometheus was bound and even showing the eagle tearing at Prometheus' liver. It was a disgusting sight! But it was certainly plenty of incentive to get us moving.

I told Mom that I intended to be a part of the rescue team, and I was not going to listen to any counter arguments. I thought that it was important that I be there for purely political reasons, if for nothing else. Upon reflection, Mom agreed, but I did have to give the universal promise that I would be careful.

Our first problem was that of getting Ed and me in and out of Tartarus without compromising Hades' position. Also, for political reasons, Hades had to be kept separate from this phase of the operation. Normally, the only physical entrance to Tartarus was through Hades, so we had to find a way around that. Hermes had the solution: he provided Ed and me with winged shoes, copies of the shoes he used to flit about the universe. Those shoes could take us from here to Tartarus without going through any intervening space. Don't ask me how it worked, I was just happy that it did work. Hermes also provided a pair of the shoes for Prometheus to wear during the escape.

One thing I kept forgetting was that Prometheus was a Titan, which meant that he was a giant. When we returned with him, we sure as hell could not bring him into our house. Where do you put somebody who is 15 feet tall? Mom solved that one by renting a "bubble" temporary building that was kept to size with compressed air. With a minimum of shopping, she found one that had 20 feet of clearance in the middle and would still fit into our backyard. Yep, when you have what looks like an impossible job, turn my Mom loose on it!

Our "strike force" consisted of Ares, Ed, and me—we didn't need any more people, since this was supposed to be a clandestine operation. Ares was the leader and Ed provided the guile. I was along as a gofer (go for what one of the others needed). We did not take weapons with us, since Ares could provide anything that we might need on the spot: anything from a blackjack to an Abrams tank.

We had to go at night, since we wanted to avoid the eagle. The eagle was not real, but was a sort of demon constructed by Zeus, thus it was immortal. The eagle was kind of like a robot. It had no thoughts of its own. It was just following programmed orders, and it could not change those orders if it had the desire to do so. Therefore, it was just simpler to avoid the eagle and not get involved in a metaphysical dilemma which we probably could not win. Also, it would stall off Zeus getting the word of Prometheus' escape.

All we took with us was a power hacksaw with a blade having diamond teeth. We didn't know what the chains were made of, but Priapus told us that the diamonds would cut through the chains if we believed strongly enough that they would. That was perfect for us, since there was no way that we could know better!

In keeping with Greek tradition that heroes always were nude when they did something heroic, we stripped naked for the expedition except for the special shoes. I confess that it was kind of awkward trying to do any hurried movement with that perpetual seven-inch-long hard-on that was kind of the symbol of my power. At least, I had developed the groin muscles to make it possible.

Ares showed up at our house on the night of the mission. I wondered why it was night in our place when it was night in Tartarus, but it was a fleeting thought that I didn't worry about. Ed and I put on our special shoes and I picked up the bag holding the hacksaw, extra batteries, and extra blades. I took three extras of each; who knew how many we would actually need. If it came down to it, it would be my job to return for more tools.

Ares gave the signal, and away we went. Sheesh! Tartarus was a miserable looking place—perfect for the home of a sadist. The night was damned dark; the only light was a pale glow in the clouds. And from those clouds was falling a misty rain, not enough to be a problem, but certainly enough to be aggravating. At least, we could depend on there being no tourists wandering around to get in our way.

We arrived just as the wound in Prometheus' gut was healing. The poor guy was in obvious agony, but what was one more night of pain after having endured it for close to 9,000 years? One glance, and I was ready to kick Zeus' butt, personally. Later on, when I found out the real reason for the way Zeus had treated Prometheus, I was really pissed at Zeus.

Ares acted as our spokesman, since he was personally acquainted with Prometheus. "Hey, Buddy, we are here to get you out of this mess, so don't fight us. These two humans are my very powerful friends who are here to help me. That's Edward Simms and that's Jimmy Smith. We'll give you the details once we're away from here and have you safe from Zeus."

"Oh, Ares, am I glad to see you guys! It has been a long time and I have regretted being immortal. Death would have been a welcome escape. Please do whatever it is that you have to do to get me away from here."

Ed pulled the hacksaw out of the sack and started to work on the first chain while I held it taut for him. Well, things were going great, and we had three of the chains cut when who should show up but Tartarus. The personification that we saw looked like I would imagine Joseph Stalin to have looked at 150 years old. Evil seemed to drip from every pore. All he wore was a loin cloth, and he was about as disgusting a sight as I could imagine.

Before Ares reacted, I did. I dropped the chain that I was holding and called Ares over to help Ed. I wanted to confront Tartarus, since I would have to do it later if I replaced Zeus. I stood as tall as I could, all 5'-6" of me and marched up to Tartarus' face. He was roaring and blustering about how we were not allowed to interfere in his domain, and we should get out before he cursed us into cinders.

I couldn't stand his noise and his foul breath for another moment. "SHUT UP, YOU ASSHOLE!" Tartarus froze in surprise that anyone would dare to talk to him that way. I looked him in the eye and said, "I know that your existence is necessary for the balance of the universe, but that does not mean that I have to like you. My name is Jimmy Smith, and some changes will be made as soon as I take over. I demand that you stand back out of the way until we finish. When we are through, you would be doing us a favor if you would tell Zeus, your asshole friend, what we have done. You can also tell him that I will be coming after him very damned soon, maybe tomorrow."