Chapter 5

My 13^th birthday was rapidly approaching, and Mom wanted to do something special to celebrate. I suggested that we have a Priapus party in our very large back yard. When asked what that was, I said that I would like to invite some of my friends and also invite Priapus and a few of his friends. He knew all of the minor gods as well as nymphs of all sorts, so I thought that it would be fun to meet some of them. Mom was a little dubious at first, but I pointed out that Priapus and most of his friends never got invited to the parties held by Zeus, etc. on Mount Olympus, so I was sure that they would like to attend a party.

Mom considered for a moment and announced that she thought that was an excellent idea. Many people would enjoy meeting Priapus and some of the other immortals, so it ought to be fun on both sides. She asked me to contact Priapus and have him talk to her so that she could work out the details.

It turned out that Priapus was delighted. He had never been asked to a party of this sort, so he would love to come. He knew that several of the "minor" gods had also never been invited to a party, and he was a good friend of Dionysus, who was especially good at organizing parties. Priapus said that with Dionysus working on it, he would guarantee that my party would be a blast.

Well, the two gods visited Mom and they spent several hours alone, I was not allowed in the room, and Mom came out smiling like the Cheshire Cat from "Alice in Wonderland." My birthday happened to fall on a school day, so Mom even had the solution for that. Everybody would be invited to show up after school, and I could use my no-time toy to give us all of the time we needed for the party. As I have said before, my Mom really knew how to organize things!

The guest list consisted of Mom, Ed, my harem, Mom's former call-girl stable, Bob and Vicki from the Clubhouse, Harold, Martha, and Jeff Powers, and Mrs. Olsen and the teachers and staff from my school. Priapus invited Dionysus, Hermes, Ares, Chronus, Asclepius, Themis, Hades, Poseidon, and the three Fates, the latter five because they never got invited anywhere.

I could understand Hermes, Priapus' father, and Chronus, the one who gave me the no-time toy, but Ares, Hades, and Poseidon were a surprise. Priapus explained that Ares was suffering from a bad case of Post Traumatic Syndrome and needed to get out to where people were having fun. He had been a nice guy until he started drinking too much and had seen too much wanton killing. Priapus hoped that this would help him break out of his emotional vise.

Hades and Poseidon were major gods and actually brothers of Zeus, but they had been badly cheated by Zeus and needed to know that they were not always victims. Zeus was a major jerk and never treated anybody very well unless he wanted something, but he had outdone himself with these two brothers. In fact, it was Priapus' opinion that all of the regulars on Mount Olympus were jerks, from Apollo to Zeus. Even heroes like Herakles needed some cluing in.

The Fates were really nice old ladies who were under Zeus' thumb and needed some encouragement to break out to do the good that they were capable of. Hermes spent almost all of his time being ordered from place to place by Zeus, and needed a break. Chronus was a nice old character who just needed to get out a little more often.

Themis needed to see that she had to take that damned blindfold off and start helping to clean up the mess she had helped to make. Asclepius worked too hard and needed a chance to relax. Priapus had not brought any nymphs, after all, because he thought there were enough females here to keep the party alive.

Most humans thought that all Dionysus could do was make people drink too much alcohol, but that was not true at all. He was a great party Master of Ceremonies, and could tell a joke like nobody else. Mom had to ask Dionysus to back off a little with his joke telling because some of us were actually getting sick from all of the laughing. There was no question that he was the life of the party.

I took some time to talk to each of the guests, both Mom's and Priapus', and I think that I made a few friends. I really tried to help Ares to break out of his shell, and I think that we did make some progress. I invited him back to visit any time he could get away, and he really seemed to appreciate that.

Hermes was absolutely fascinating because of all of the places that he had visited. I didn't have time to listen to many of his tales, but he had a rapt audience as long as he was willing to talk.

Hades was a guy who had really been given a bum rap. He did his best to make death tolerable to all of those who deserved some consideration. He got the blame for the stuff that Tartarus did. Tartarus ran the punishment camp, but most modern people had never heard that. Hades was simply an administrator, but he was worked to his wit's end with all of the souls he had to look after, now. He really did need to subcontract some of his work, but he was a workaholic and just couldn't keep from trying to do everything himself.

Poseidon was not the workaholic that Hades was, but he did try to do what was best for his realm. His big problem right now was a combination of pollution and over fishing. The sun was going through one of its tantrums thereby causing the ocean temperatures to get out of balance. I asked why he didn't speak to Helios about that, and Poseidon said that he had never thought of it. He would look into it as soon as he left the party.

The three Fates were old women who had a lot of power, but didn't know how to use it. They were probably the most powerful beings in the pantheon, but they just wanted to sit and knit. The constant pressure on them to keep the universe on an even keel was very trying for them. They spent a lot of time talking privately to Mom, and they seemed to come away from the conversation renewed and refreshed. Mom did tell me that they had some surprises in store for me.

It was curiosity more than anything else, but I asked Themis what was the source of Zeus' power. She said that it was the belief in him by humans that gave him the power to control the universe. Now that there was almost nobody who believed in Zeus, he had very little power and was sitting on his throne mostly because nobody else wanted the job. She said that Priapus had more real power now than Zeus, and it was mostly my doing. My Priapus Club and Priapus' Clubhouses were the modern equivalent of the old temple worship that the Greeks afforded the gods. She said that, at the rate I was going, Priapus would have enough power to throw out Zeus and his old guard within a few years, so I should decide how I wanted to wield the power that I was building. Priapus deferred to me much more than I realized, and I could rule the universe if I really wanted to! Oh, my gosh, this was heady stuff. I was going to have to talk to Mom about it pretty damned soon.

I wasn't sure that I wanted that much responsibility. Hell, I was just a kid! What did I know about running the universe?

Everybody, both humans and gods, had a great time at the party if I could believe half of what they told Mom and me when they finally left. The party lasted nearly 10 pseudo hours, yet there was no sex and no alcohol for the whole time. Frankly, I was amazed at that. We just had fun with the good company. Now, that's my idea of a good party!

When the party was over, I told Mom what Themis had told me. I think that Themis was acting in her Delphi mode when she said all of that. I told Mom that I was scared because she really could predict the future, and she had me planted square in the center of the action. I asked Mom if we could have a private conversation tomorrow after school, since I really needed some advice, but I wanted a break from the party before we got too deeply into it. Mom agreed, so that was where we left it.