Chapter 11: Pizza and Perverts

Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 3:15 AM

“Doors closing!” said the familiar female voice. BING-BONG!

Tricia looked up from her Blackberry and saw the doors on the Metro train sliding shut. “Shit!” she cried out, and she jumped off the concrete bench and ran to the train. The doors closed before she could reach it, and the train started moving, leaving without her.

She stamped her foot in frustration. “Fuck!” She turned about and looked at the underground station. It was large but empty. She was alone in the station. The oval shaped tunnels and indented tile ceiling felt familiar, but she couldn’t remember which station she was at. Where the hell am I? She looked for an information pillar and found one next to the escalators.

This has got to be Metro Center. That or L’Enfant Plaza, she reasoned as she walked to the pillar. This station is too big for a simple drop-off point. But if it’s a transfer station, where the hell is everyone else? She looked at the pillar and frowned.

Gold line? Since when is there a gold line? The pillar looked official, like any other Metro pillar, but the stations didn’t look familiar. Gus station? S. Carter station? What is that, South Carter? Q. Knight station... She looked at the second list of stations. A. Weaver station, T. Booth Dr. station ... T. Booth Drive? What the hell is that? A toll booth?

“HELLO???” came a voice from another section of the station. It was a woman’s voice. “IS ANYONE HERE??”

Tricia looked in the direction of the voice. There in the center of the station was the intersecting train line coming in at a right angle to the Gold line. She ran in that direction, heading for the connecting tunnel.

“YES! HELLO!” Tricia yelled out as she ran. “WHERE AM I?”

“IS SOMEONE THERE?” answered the voice. “I NEED HELP!” Tricia could hear running footsteps in her direction. Tricia reached the corner and turned, and very nearly collided with the other woman.

It was another Tricia. They both saw each other and screamed.

Tricia thrashed under her blankets and woke up. Her room was dark and quiet, but her heart was pounding madly. She clutched her chest and looked at her clock. It was 3:15 AM. She calmed herself down, flipped her pillow over, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

The Plum Satin looked best on her, Tricia decided as she applied the lipstick. She blotted the excess on a tissue, sprayed on a little Calvin Klein’s Secret Obsession, fluffed out her hair, winked to herself in the mirror, and headed out to the hallway.

“Okay, I’m going now!” she announced. “Wish me luck!”

Joey looked up from the couch. He was reading his book. “You’re going to do the homeless kids story today?”

“I’ll see if I can start working on it. It all depends on Marty.” She checked herself in the hall mirror once more. Damn! I look good!

“Who’s Marty?” he asked.

“My boss. I think he wants me to do something stupid in a bathing suit, but I’m gonna pitch this story to him today. See if I can...” she shook her hips slightly, “... ‘convince’ him!” She looked at Joey and gave him a wink.

Joey looked confused.

“So!” she continued. “Be good! Keep reading! And please, don’t let me catch you and Annie in a compromising position again, okay?” She winked at him again. “Bye Annie!” she called out loudly.

“Bye!” Annie responded from her room.

Tricia left for work, leaving Joey alone in the living room with a concerned look on his face. Annie soon rolled in from her room, dressed and ready for work. She looked at Joey, clapped her hands together once, and said “So! You got stuff to keep you busy?”

Joey nodded, holding his book.

“Good. And as much as I’d like to spend the rest of the day playing with you again, I really need to get some work done.” She grinned. Joey smiled back at her.

Annie rolled to her desk, opened her laptop, and booted it up. She then attached a headset to it, put it on, and pulled out her notebook. She tapped a few commands, and a new window appeared.

“Configure, set search engine to Google, go,” she said. The window changed and she marked in the notebook. “Configure, set search engine to Yahoo, go ... Configure, set search engine to AltaVista, go...”

Joey watched her.

“Search, news on Barack Obama, go.” New windows opened. “Next ... Next ... Close.”

“What are you doing?” Joey asked.

“Hmm?” Annie looked over at Joey.

“Are you talking to your computer?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m doing product testing. This is a voice activated search engine. I also have to do some icon design for a graphic age progression utility, and documentation on a content management system.”

Joey looked blankly at her.

“And...” she continued. “ ... you have every right to look confused. But you know, I think you would like the search engine. It’s voice-activated, so you really don’t have to be a strong reader to use it. Want to give it a try?”

Joey shrugged. “What does it do?”

“It listens to your voice, tries to figure out what you want to know, and searches the Internet for things. Watch ... Search. Images of yorkshire terriers. Go.”

A window opened, showing many small pictures of dogs that all looked like Scrappy. Joey’s eyes lit up. “Wow!” He got up and stood next to Annie, looking at the small screen. “Can I try?”

“Sure.” She unplugged the headset and took it off. “Just speak loudly. My laptop has a built-in microphone. SYSTEM PAUSE.”

A small window opened, displaying the word “PAUSE”.

“Now. You get its attention by saying SEARCH. Then you tell it what you are looking for. It can be news, images, websites, videos, definition, maps, directions, or...” She checked her notes. “ ... or a few other things you probably aren’t interested in. RSS feeds or content management systems. Then you tell it the things you are interested in. Then you say GO. Okay?”

Joey nodded.

Annie pressed a key, releasing the program. “Okay. Try it.”

He thought for a second. “Search. Images of Harry Potter. Go.” A window appeared with a set of images of Daniel Radcliff. Joey grinned. “This is cool! Um ... Search. Images of Hermione. Go ... Wow! She got old!”

Annie laughed.

“Search,” Joey continued. “Images of Omega Man. Go.” The window opened. Joey got quiet as he saw the pictures. “Oh ... wow...” he muttered.

Annie watched his quiet reaction. “Focus,” she said, and looked at the screen. “Down. Down. Right. Right. Right. Open...” The image became large on the screen. “Print.”

Her printer started.

Joey smiled slightly and turned to Annie. “Thanks,” he said quietly.

It was the 9:00 AM bullpen meeting and Tricia sat anxiously, waiting for Marty to get to her.

“Okay...” Marty was looking down the list. “Bob, you’re still on Michael Jackson. Anything going on there? Is he still dead?”

Bob Patel grinned and checked his notes. “We’re expecting a toxicology report today. And it was announced that the concert merchandise is on sale, and his estate is open for business. Also, a nurse who worked with MJ says she was interviewed by LA detectives, and they said they found needle and track marks on his body.”

“Good! Go with it. Mike, got anything?”

Mike Grimes looked at his notebook. “AP reports that cats have different purrs for different situations, Justin Timberlake has opened a golf course, and a Massachusetts transgender equality bill has fueled a bathroom fight.”

“A bathroom fight? What do you mean? People fighting in a bathroom?”

“No, it’s an argument over if they are allowed to use the different bathroom once hormone treatments start taking effect.”

“Where’s the golf course?”

“Tennessee.”

“Go with the cats. Tricia. Good work with the Quantum Knight fight. Now, I’d like you to do something on this LZR Racer suit that was banned by FINA. See if you can work in a tie to Flavia Zoccari’s wardrobe malfunction. Also, I’d like to see you in a...”

“Actually...” Tricia interrupted, “I found something interesting. I got a lead on someone who can identify sexual predators on the streets here in D.C.”

“Sexual predators? I like those.”

I thought you would. “I’d like to work this into an introspective on the plight of homeless children in the district. Show their challenges, lack of funding for homeless shelters, and a need for public awareness and assistance.”

Marty frowned. “Any specific kids you know of? Any good photos?”

“None, and not yet.”

“Not interested. I want you in a bodysuit.”

Tricia grimaced. “Why, so you can catch it ripping and showing off my ass like it did to Flavia?”

Marty perked up. “You think you can manage that?”

“Not interested. Marty, this is important.”

“Well, you’re going to have to do more than that to convince me. Until then, you’re on the racer suit.”

“Do more? Like what?”

Marty looked at her and raised his bushy eyebrows. There were a couple snickers around the table, and Tricia sighed, and made a note in her notebook. “Fine,” she muttered.

When the bullpen session ended, Tricia returned to her desk and sat, looking at her computer. She fumed. God damn you, Marty! I’m tired of this! She glanced around her and saw several people watching her, waiting to see her next move. She didn’t care about them. Who gives a fuck what they think?

She did a few searches on the bathing suit, found a compromising picture of Flavia’s naked ass, and then sat back and groaned.

Do it for the kids. Do it for Joey.

She opened her desk drawer, pulled out a few breath mints, popped one in her mouth, and then got up and marched over to Marty’s office. She could hear a few people giggling as she entered his office, but she told herself she didn’t care. He was alone in his office, sitting at his desk on the phone. She closed the door behind her. Marty looked at her and smirked.

“I’ll call you back,” he said into the phone, and hung up. He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. She could smell his armpits already.

“What do you want Tricia?” he asked with a grin.

“What’s it going to take, Marty?”

“You know I can’t just come right out and tell you what I want. That would technically be sexual harassment.”

She groaned and stepped towards him. He spun his chair around away from his desk to face her, and Tricia dropped to her knees in front of him. She grabbed his belt buckle and undid it, and started opening his pants. “I’m getting tired of this!” she complained.

“Yeah, yeah ... Let’s see Huntley and Brinkley again.”

Fifteen minutes later Tricia emerged from Marty’s office, adjusting her clothes and grimacing at the awful taste in her mouth that a third breath mint was incapable of handling. Everyone was staring at her. Her assistant Judy was standing outside, ready with a Poland Spring. Judy took one look at Tricia, rolled her eyes, and handed Tricia the water bottle.

“Thanks,” Tricia said as she took a swig. “Don’t look at me like that. Grab a camera. We’re heading out to the homeless shelters.”

It was early evening when Tricia returned from work. “I’m home!” she called out.

Joey was on the couch surrounded by various papers. Some had drawings, and others were math worksheets and handwriting exercises. He looked up anxiously. “Hi Tricia! Did you get to do the story?” he asked eagerly.

“Yep! Started with some photos of the homeless shelters and some kids, and met up with Gus.”

Joey broke out into a huge smile. “So, Marty let you do the story!”

She nodded. “Yeah! Well, it took a little convincing...” She grimaced slightly and licked her lips. “ ... but he eventually came and saw things my way. Hey Annie! Have you started dinner yet?”

Joey frowned. Annie looked up from her laptop. “Nope. Joey was talking about going out to eat, though.”

Tricia dropped her purse on the end table, cleared a section of the couch, and plopped down on it. Joey was momentarily distracted by her shaking breasts as she landed. “I don’t know about that,” she said as she casually picked up a few of the drawings and checked them out. “I was going over the finances, and with all the new purchases ... new clothes, dresser, Scrappy’s stuff...”

“Three sixty-five dollar bras...” Annie added nonchalantly.

“Hey! I got ten percent off!” she said defensively. “In any case, I’m running low. I get paid on Friday, so maybe we can go out then.”

“Oh,” Joey said dejectedly. “I was just hoping ... that we could, you know ... go to Tony’s.”

“Tony’s? What’s that?” asked Annie.

“Tony’s Pizza. Over in Dupont Circle.”

“Are they any good?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I guess. It’s not very good when you pull it out of his dumpster, though, but...”

Annie and Tricia looked up at Joey with some concern. He continued. “ ... but he would sometimes give me food. And he hasn’t seen me in a while ... so I just ... I wanted him to know I was okay.”

The two women looked at each other seriously. Annie smiled. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to Tony’s Pizza tonight! Let me get ready.” She wheeled off to her bedroom.

Joey looked surprised, and as he watched Annie roll away, this look of excitement and relief spread over his face. Then he turned to Tricia and looked at her expectantly.

Tricia shrugged. “Tony’s Pizza!” she said, conceding.

Tony’s Pizza was a small family-owned restaurant with a jovial atmosphere. As Tricia opened the door and Annie pushed herself in with Joey behind her, Tony, a fairly large Italian man with a big, black, bushy mustache and a balding head, took a look at the three coming in the front door and did a double take.

“JOEY?” he yelled. “Is that you, my boy Joey?” He came running up from behind the counter, his huge stomach bouncing as he ran excitedly.

Joey broke out into a huge smile. “Hi Tony!”

“What happened to you? You’re so clean! You’re in the nice clothes! You got the nice haircut, and you have these two beautiful angels with you! They ARE with you, are they? What happened? Did you go buy the winning lottery ticket?”

Joey laughed. “These are my friends, Tricia and Annie. They’re taking care of me. This is Tony.”

Tricia extended her hand and shook his. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Shoolem alaykhem!” Annie shook his hand.

“Oh! You two! You are such angels to do this, to take care of my boy Joey here! I would do this too, would take him into my home, too, but my wife? She tells me I am too generous, and she is right. I would take in all the kids that come here, and we have enough kids of our own! Because when I look at my beautiful wife, I cannot stop myself. But you two, such angels! You do a wonderful thing here! And so, to show you my gratitude, dinner tonight is on the house! My treat!”

Tricia perked up. “Oh! Umm ... Thank you! That is very kind of you!”

“A groysn dank! Thank you very much!” said Annie. “Ach, my uncle Morty would be so proud. And I didn’t even have to negotiate for that.”

“Thanks Tony!” said Joey.

“Please! Please! Do not thank me! I thank you! Come in! Come in! Have a seat over here!” Tony proudly gestured towards a table, and led them into the dining area. Tricia and Joey each took a seat, while Tony pulled away a chair to allow Annie to pull up to the table. Tony handed them all menus. “Please, order anything! And I will go back to tell my wife the good news!”

As Tony headed back behind the counter, Tricia looked at Annie and Joey with an amazed and entertained expression on her face. “Wow! I could get used to this. You have any other old friends we need to visit?” Joey laughed.

A heated argument in Italian rose from behind the counter. All three turned and looked over at the commotion. So did everyone else in the restaurant. Tony and his wife were yelling at each other, their hands flying about madly.

“Have you ever noticed that Italian is actually a form of sign language?” Annie asked.

Tony came back with a dejected look on his face. “So my wife, she is very pleased that you are taking care of Joey, but she does not want to give a free meal. I told her, I have already promised that. So we make a compromise. We have some old pizzas from lunch that are to go to waste. They are not the best, but they are still Tony’s pizzas! So you may have one of them.”

“That’s okay!” Joey exclaimed. Tricia and Annie shrugged at each other, and agreed.

“Good. So we have three pizzas, and you can have one of them. We have a meat-lovers, a vegetarian, and a Californian.”

Joey gasped. “Meat Lovers!”

Tricia winced. “Ehhh ... Vegetarian.”

Annie looked shocked. “Are you kidding? Oy! Californian! Is that with avocados?” Tony nodded. “Definitely Californian.”

Tony held up his hands. “I leave it to you to decide. I will be back.” And he waddled off.

Joey looked back and forth between the two girls. “What’s wrong with the meat lover’s?”

“Ugh!” Tricia grimaced. “All that grease! Oil! Yuch!” She looked at Annie. “Avocados? You serious?”

“Hey! Don’t knock it until you try it! And besides, that meat lover’s is hardly kosher.”

“Well you don’t keep kosher!” said Tricia. “Why not, by the way?”

“Hey, if I keep kosher, then I have to do all that other stuff, like not using anything on the sabbath. Technically, I can’t use my chair on Friday nights!”

“Oh, so is that the main reason?”

“Well, that and I can’t use broadband.”

The three sat and stared at each other for a moment. Nobody was backing down. Tricia raised an eyebrow, grinned, and slapped her fist into the middle of the table, thumb up. So did Annie and Joey.

“ONE – TWO – THREE – FOUR – I – DECLARE – A THUMB – WAR!”

The Great Pizza Thumb War of 2009 commenced, and all three friends screamed and laughed as they struggled for thumb supremacy. Joey managed to pin Annie for a second, only to have her wiggle free as Tricia tried to pin them both. Soon Joey was pinned, but managed to reverse and pin Tricia down. Annie pinned them both down and yelled in victory. “I WIN! Californian!”

Annie then noticed that Tricia and Joey were both distracted. Tricia had a vacant stare as she looked up to the front of the restaurant, and Joey had noticed it. He turned around and saw what she was looking at. He gasped.

She was staring at a man who had just entered. It was a man both she and Joey recognized, last seen in a dark alleyway.

Joey turned back to Tricia. Tricia’s eyes narrowed, and her face scrunched up in fury. “Oh, give me strength!” she cursed, and she suddenly pulled her hand out and jumped out of her seat.

“Tricia! No!” Joey said. He glanced at his hand and looked horrified. “Oh no...”