Chapter 5

My first love affair, if affair was an accurate description, came to an abrupt and tearful end when Anita's father was forced to move because of his job. He had been offered a promotion that he couldn't afford to turn down, even if it meant moving to another county. Anita was determined to stay with her grandparents to be close to me and all her friends although I'm not sure that was the right order. Of course her parents were never going to allow that to happen.

For the three weeks before the actual move we saw even more of each other and more often without Susan's presence. During this time we discovered that kissing could be even better when tongues were added. The excitement brought on by this discovery led my hand to her young breast. Anita was wearing a blouse with a bra underneath at the time yet those two pieces of fabric did little to spoil the excitement I felt. For some reason, that she didn't push my hand away was even a bigger thrill for me. I vowed to wait until she was old enough to return to me. After that it became the norm when we were alone for me to caress her breast outside her clothes. The very last time we were alone together was a few days before she was due to leave. It was also when Anita 's hand traced my erection for the first and only time. It lasted but a few brief minutes but provided my fantasies for the next few years. I think her parents planned that our last time together would be sooner than we expected so as to prevent any dangerous goodbyes.

Anita knew my address and promised to write as soon as she was settled into her new home. So with tears in our eyes we parted for what would turn out to be many years.

The letter with her address arrived two agonising weeks later and was to be the first of many over the next few months. Fortunately my new job proved to be very time consuming, with a lot of homework involved with the Higher National Diploma the company put its business apprentices through. They were also firm believers that a fit body led to a fit mind, so an hour's physical education was built into the working day. I was amongst the fittest of the new apprentices but even I found the going extremely strenuous. The good point of all the exercise was early to bed and early to sleep meant less time for reflection.

There were eight business apprentices starting that year. All the others, although the same physical age, were all a lot more mature. Actually that's the wrong word, for mature they certainly weren't, let's say they were more life experienced than I was. Paul who appointed himself leader of the group was the kind of boy I'd had problems with all my life. He was extremely good looking, or so many of the office girls told me, but he was also arrogant and a bully. When I stood up to him in, I think, the second week he made it clear to the other apprentices that they were either for him and against me or the other way around. He had the charisma that I lacked so once more I was the outsider.

Fortunately the apprenticeship required me to spend time with my peers only during P.E. And college so their attitude had little or no effect. I was required to spend a few weeks at a time in the factory's various offices, learning how all the administrative functions worked and interacted. This of course brought me into contact with a lot of women and more than a few single girls. It didn't take most of them long to work out just how naive I was and to put that knowledge to good use. Most of the teasing was good natured but I must have spent at least half the time with a red face. The possibility of dates were strongly hinted at too, but I ignored them all, happy to wait for Anita. Oddly, once my fidelity became known, there were even stronger hints from some of the older girls. I recalled my mother's comments so backed away even further from these colleagues.

One evening, about three months after starting my new job, I arrived home from work to a letter. The letter was posted from the usual place but the handwriting was different. I swiftly opened it and began to read. It turned out to be from Anita's mother, who told me that her daughter was not settling into her new surroundings and that it was partly my fault. She said that I should write one more letter to Anita telling her that I did not want to continue our relationship and then stop writing altogether. Anita's mother would open the first letter to ensure that it said what she wanted and would throw any subsequent ones away. She would also ensure that none of Anita's letters to me were posted. She ended saying that she was sure that I understood her reasons and that I would therefore happily comply.

As I was sat at the kitchen table whilst I read the letter my mother saw my shocked reaction and wanted to know what was wrong. Unable to think, never mind speak, I just handed her the letter. Having read it and without commenting on the contents she asked me what I intended to do. I had no idea, all I knew was that I had no intention of giving Anita up. I told Mum that the only thing I could think of was to go and see Anita. I would have to wait until I saw her outside, possibly on the way home from school.