Chapter 14

Over the next few months once again my life revolved around work. I found that I was driving less and doing more and more office work. Tim Marsh had been delighted with my input and had slowly added more. The company planned a major reshuffle of all its routes and Tim asked my to liaise with the other drivers for their thoughts. He made it clear that this was an official thing and I would need to produce a report on my findings. I suggested that the opinions of the others would be more forthcoming if they could be anonymous. That would mean that the company would have to trust me that the report accurately reflected local opinion. He agreed and promised that it would cause no problems.

That news left me feeling happier than I had for a while so I decided to stop off for a bottle of wine. Wine was relatively new to me but I found that it suited me to drink at home. I preferred reds and had already learned not to go for the cheapest. As I couldn't afford the best I tended to go for a middle of the road Burgundy.

I'd not long opened it when I heard someone at the door. I'd just about opened it when it was pushed against me and a bundle of energy forced their way in.

"Hi David." Said Susan. "Where's my kiss?"

Although it had been a while since Susan had stayed with me, giving her the usual hug and kiss that always welcomed her visits still seemed natural. Was it my already better mood or was there a bit more into that kiss than normal. I was almost certain that it was longer then ever before.

In my little terraced house, the front door opened directly into the living room. Susan looked around and spotted the wine.

"Just in time I see." She joked. "Though white would have been preferable."

With her infectious good humour I could not help but smile. "Nice to see you too."

"How are you?" She asked, momentarily serious. "You holding up okay?"

"Just about. How about you?" I knew that Stephanie's death must have hit Susan almost as hard as me, so close were they.

"Slowly bouncing back." She answered with the hint of a smile.

"I didn't realise that you did anything slowly." I joked and received a thump on my arm as a result.

"So what brings you up here?" I asked after fetching another glass, filling it and passing it to the still standing young woman.

"A change of jobs. I don't start the new one for another week so I decided to visit Nan and Granddad. Given that I was up here, I thought I'd call around to see how you are getting on."

"Sit down then, you're making the place look untidy. You still pulling pints?" I asked as I sat in my usual reclining chair.

"Yup. Same old job, just different pub."

She sat opposite and for a few minutes we talked about her Nan and Granddad and about how she was doing at home before the conversation inevitably turned to her sister.

"I'm sorry about Anita messing you about but she's been like that for years now. She can't abide anyone telling her what to do, she seems to take it as a personal insult. Malcolm, that's her ex by the way, was as easy going as possible, a real nice and genuine man, yet 'Nita considered even him to be manipulative."

"So I found out, but at least I did find out before I was in too deep."

"Well 'Nita has made it very clear that she's no longer interested in you. More fool her I say. Nan and Granddad agree too."

For Susan at least, she looked very serious although that changed when she looked up and saw the surprise on my face. She laughed. "You look surprised."

The best that I could do was just nod.

"You shouldn't be. Remember I was forever talking to Stephanie and guess what our favourite topic was? So add Stephanie's glowing recommendation to my own memories and we feel that 'Nita slipped up. To be honest though I believe you're better off without my selfish sister. I wanted to come up to see you earlier but I have found it difficult to reconcile seeing you, which I knew would be fun, with the loss of my best friend. I was also sure that you would have felt something similar."

"I do. At times it felt very weird the evening I was with Anita, as if I was cheating on Stephanie somehow. It would hit me at odd moments."

"Did you love Stephanie?"

I paused to give her question due consideration. "No, I don't think so. I thought a lot of her but I'm sure I didn't love her. I did love being with her though. I think sometimes that that is part of the guilt, that I didn't love her and maybe I should have done."

"You can't help who you love."

"I agree but that doesn't stop me thinking that way."

"Do you or did you love 'Nita?"

"That's more difficult to answer. I'm sure I was close when you had to move away. Whether that was simply a case of first love that would have quickly worn off, I can't say. When I met her again I think I was in love with the memories I'd created over the years, not Anita as she is."

Susan nodded this time.

The conversation gradually drifted to other matters, especially Susan's running which, if you pardon the pun, was coming on in great strides. Mine was going the opposite direction with me doing no running at all since Stephanie's death. Susan then stated, rather than asked, that I would run with her in the morning before I needed to head into work. A brief discussion followed that confirmed what I'd expected regarding where Susan was staying that night.

The relaxing conversation and the alcohol, to say nothing of the early morning run, ensured that I had a relatively early night. Susan agreed and after staggered bathroom visits we headed to our respective bedrooms. After so many recent sleepless nights I was surprised to fall asleep immediately, or at least I would have been if I'd have been aware of the fact.

I awoke to banging on my door and derogatory remarks of how the old and ugly needed their beauty sleep. A series of caveman grunts told the intruder that I was awake or at least close enough for her. Fifteen minutes later we were on the road. A few short weeks ago I would have had little trouble keeping up with Susan on a training run but this time my lack of practise ensured that I struggled. I thought, when my ragged breathing allowed that is, how easy it is to lose fitness. I vowed to start running daily again.