Chapter 25

We had been living in our new house for about three weeks before Dorothy was able to convince Sonia to come to La Habra for our meeting. I had stayed completely out of the negotiations to that point. I'd been a little surprised when Dorothy first told me that she had insisted that Sonia come to our new home in order to have our meeting.

By the time I came home, on the night of the meeting, Sonia and Jake had already been there long enough to have taken a complete tour of the place. Jake was over in Eric's room, talking with Zinat and Eric. Buzz was in the living room, watching something on the television.

I joined the two sisters in the kitchen area. Sonia and I exchanged pleasantries, but I was very careful to not say anything that could be construed as me opening up the negotiations. I wanted my wife to be happy, but, to be candid, I wasn't the one anxious to bring Sonia back into our everyday lives. That was all Dorothy.

We all sat there at the table making small talk until dinner was almost ready. Both women got up then and finished the final preparations together. Seven of us sat at the new dining room table, enjoying our first meal together in almost two months.

"How come we can't live here with you, like before, Uncle Jim?" Jake broke the silence at the table with his unexpected question. I looked up from my plate and noticed six people staring at me, seemingly expecting me to answer his question.

I looked over at Sonia, then Dorothy, more than half believing the two of them had set this up beforehand. There were several answers that popped into my head, but none of them would lead us to a cure for Dorothy's unhappiness.

"Your mother, Aunt Dorothy, and I wanted to have a talk tonight, to see how everyone felt about us living apart like we now are. You haven't lived with your grandmother for that long yet, and we weren't sure if she could afford to rent that big house of hers without someone else chipping in with part of the rent. If you moved over here, you'd have to change schools, just like all your cousins did."

"I wouldn't mind switching schools. I'd be back in the same school with Eric again. I don't like living where we are now. Too much arguing and fighting there. Mom doesn't get along with any of them. They always try to tell us what to do. I miss the food we used to eat when we lived with you."

This wasn't going the way I thought it would. I didn't want to have to make my decision based solely on what Jake wanted.

"Jake, the adults have to talk about things, alone, before anyone is going to even begin to think about making any changes. You children need to go away somewhere and give us some time to talk, okay?"

Sonia and Dorothy got up to clear off the dinner table and take all the dishes, leftovers and silverware back to the kitchen. As soon as they left, all four children got up from the table and left for the back bedrooms. Only Zinat hesitated, turning back to me when the boys were out of hearing range.

"Are you going to let them come back to live with us, Dad?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Mom does, and I know she's been sad since Aunt Sonia left. It really doesn't matter much to me though. It was fine when we all lived together, and it was all right with me when they moved out. I'm okay with whatever you decide. Eric wants Jake back living with us like things were before. I don't think it matters too much to Buzz, but I think he misses Aunt Sonia."

I waited in the dining room, after Zinat left to join the boys. For me, personally, I felt ambivalent. It was really only Dorothy pushing from our end, to get them moved back in with us.

I was alone in the dining room for a good thirty minutes before Dorothy and Sonia came back and took the same seats they'd had earlier. I knew they'd had another strategy meeting while out in the kitchen, and I was curious to see how they planned to approach me. I didn't have long to wait to find out.

"Jim, Sonia and I talked, and we both want things to go back to how they were before they moved out. She told me that she can be happy with how everything was, before we had that other talk."

I waited, silently. There was no way that I was going to let Dorothy do all of Sonia's talking. I can't claim that I understand women, but I knew enough to know that I had to get a firm commitment from Sonia that things were really going back to how they were before. I didn't want to let the camel's nose back under my tent without first being told that she understood, and would comply, with how I'd told her I wanted things to be. How I needed them to be, if I were going to let them come back.

After five minutes of no one saying anything, I stood up, went back through the kitchen, and up the stairs to the second floor. Once there, I went out to the living area and turned on the television to watch Walter Cronkite. It took the women ten more minutes before they came up and joined me.

"Why did you walk out on us, Jim? We were waiting for you to say something. I thought what I told you would settle everything." Dorothy's voice carried a very slight overtone of anger. She thought it was a done deal, but I wasn't being as cooperative as she'd thought I'd be.

"I was waiting for Sonia to tell me what she wanted, and what she was willing to agree to. I thought we were all going to have another talk, then we'd see if we could all reach an agreement that each of us could live with and be happy about. What you want, is to turn back the clock, then have us all pretend that nothing happened to cause Sonia and Jake to need to move out."

"I want to come back, and Dorothy wants that too. Only you don't seem to want that."

"That would be okay with me, Sonia, but if you come back under those circumstances, without us being able to clear the air, then I won't be making any Wednesday night visits. If you can go along with that, then welcome back."

I watched as Sonia glanced over at Dorothy. She was obviously hoping that Dorothy would come into the conversation, supporting everything going back to the way it had been, before the rift developed between the three of us. Dorothy wasn't willing to jump in right away. I hadn't been counting on this occurring, but I had been hoping it might.

"If we did that, then we'd still have the same problem we had before. You don't want me dating anyone."

"I could change my mind about that. Mostly, I didn't want you bringing other men home with you. Now, after what happened, I wouldn't mind you going out on dates, or sleeping with someone else, as long as you didn't bring any of them in the house."

I could tell that Sonia and Dorothy were both shocked by what I'd told them I'd agree to. It would be a compromise I could adjust to and live with, if it solved Dorothy's sadness problem, and put an end to her not having Sonia around, to drink coffee with, and to help with the cooking, laundry and other housework.

"I can't agree to that. What Dorothy and I talked about, was me having you on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I had known what you were planning to do, I wouldn't have bothered coming here today. I don't want to date anyone else, Jim. Why can't you just accept that I love you like Dorothy does?"

"I don't think you understand what I've been trying to tell you, Sonia. I have one wife, Dorothy, and I'd be happy for you and Jake to come live with us again, but only as my sister in law, not as my sex partner. You were the one that told us that it was making you unhappy not having more of my time at night. I don't want you to be unhappy, but I also don't want to resume having sex with you. You're still young enough to go out and find someone to be exclusively yours."

"Tell him what we agreed to, Dorothy. Tell him what you promised me."

"Sonia, Dorothy can promise things for herself, but she can't make promises for what I will be doing. I'm sorry if this makes her unhappy, but if I went along with what you're asking, then I'd be unhappy. Eventually, all of us would start regretting our decisions."

After Sonia and Jake left, Dorothy and I had a huge fight. She was beyond angry with me, mostly upset because I had so cavalierly undone all her efforts to get Sonia willing to accept less than she'd wanted earlier. For Dorothy, getting Sonia to settle for only two nights a week instead of the every other night she was originally demanding, had been accomplished only after many hard fought hours of face to face negotiation. She told me that she felt betrayed.

Just like any other husband would do, I let her get everything out of her system. I knew better than to tell her that she was the one at fault, simply for making an arrangement like that with Sonia, without first getting my consent for making the offer.

"I have half a mind to leave you, and if I do, I'm taking the children with me."

"I can't stop you, and I wouldn't even try to. You've always been free to do that. I haven't held you here against your will. If you do leave though, you better not count on me ever letting you come back. You have to pick a side here, mine or Sonia's. If you pick her, over me, then I don't want you with me anyway."

We both left it right there. I went to bed in Sonia's bedroom. I'm certain neither of us slept well that night, but we'd ended up right on a precipice. I was grateful that my wife hadn't decided yet to actually follow through on her threat. I was pretty sure she wouldn't actually decide to leave me, but I was also pretty sure that I wouldn't go chasing after her if she did.

The next evening, when I got home from work, Dorothy and the children were still there. I spoke with all the children at dinner, but Dorothy and I exchanged no words. It went on like that, me getting the silent treatment from her day after day, with me choosing to spend my nights in what we referred to as Sonia's bedroom. I was really miserable, but I believed strongly in what I'd told both women.