That night was the last time I ever cried. I learned to hide my pain and terror behind a perfect mask.

I promised myself that no one would ever hurt me like that agian, sure my daddy took me to bed with him every night but I always closed myself off. I would dream of the far off places I wished I could go, just me and my brother.

As the years past, I became more and more withdrawn. I no longer had friends at school for fear of making my father jealous. I did well in school only for the dream of escaping. I had been young and foolish to pray for someone to save me, no one ever came. I stopped praying and eventually learned to live the life I had. On my fifteenth birthday my father told me that he had boughten my a special suprise.

My daddy had always kept the tradition of giving me a special surprise on my birthdays and I expected nothing less.

He handed me a box filled with tissue paper and a tiny piece of pink silk. In another box was a black and pink teddy he had bought to match.

"You want me to wear this for you daddy?"

The look in his eyes told me yes, but I still wanted to hear him say so. Over the years the only satisfaction I ever got was in making my father say the perverted things he shouldn't.

"Of coarse I do. You're big surprise is tonight and I want you to look perfect"

He smiled at me with sparkling eyes that made me want to run. My daddy had always had a dark side, but he saved it for dark nights when there was no one to hear me scream. I hated him for it, yet he still meant everything to me.

My brother had never giving any hint that he knew about daddy and I. I had almost told him a couple times but he saw daddy as a king and I couldn't shatter that love. My brother and I were as close as any other siblings, nothing more than affection. I always had a secret hope that he would catch daddy and save me, no matter what happened my hope wouldn't deminish...

I waited impatiently for my daddy to enter my room. He had been drinking and I knew I would have bruises in the morning. When the door creeked open I held my breath, slowly my father came into view. He wasn't very steady on his feet and stumbled until he reached my bed. The liquor on his breath was strong, I leaned away, but he had other plans for me tonight. He fumbled with his pants and shirt until he was completely naked beside me. Although I was wearing my new pajama's for all they coveered I to could have been naked. He touched me roughly with no skill, I knew what I was expected to do as well. I licked, touched and sucked with everything I was worth.

"You stupid bitch!"

He yelled at me after I pulled off, my mouth soar and tired. Getting up he got up and wobbled to the door muttering about punishing me. I pictured his belt in the closet choking me, striking me and cringed. I waited silently until I heard the door once agian open. I closed my eyes and steeled myself for the pain, but there wasn't any. As

I re-opened my eyes I saw Derren's head peak through the door. My brother had never seen me in a bathing suit let alone almost naked. sitting there on my bed in shock I couldn't make myself move.

We stared at eachother in silence both wondering what to do.

"Lisa! I better hear your dirty cunt making you brother happy or I'm going to beat you worse than anything!"

With that he stumbled along the hall into his room. We didn't move an inch until we heard the squeak of his bed.

I got up off the bed in an attempt to break through the akwardness that surrounded Derren and I. My brother's eyes followed my movement accross the room, never leaving my body. Derren was three years older than me, I knew he had been with girls before. I had heard girls in the senoir class taking about him, I had never really paid attention, but I now wished I had.