Chapter 5

Later that evening, sitting alone not watching the so-called entertainment showing on the switched on television, I was feeling down. 'Sod it!' I thought. 'I am going out, try to get laid but definitely getting hammered.'

Decision made, I dressed up accordingly and headed for a local nightclub, well known as a pick-up place. I was on my second drink and third rotation around the club when I saw her dancing around her handbag. She was facing away from me but even in the mandatory dim light, her red hair jumped out. I felt my pulse rate soar as the adrenalin surged through my body. Every other woman suddenly lost her appeal, as did the idea of casual sex. I started towards her, trying to work out what to say when I realised that the hair was a little too short as was the rest of her. It was not Amanda and the disappointment I felt was immense. Briefly I thought of still approaching the young woman, as she still seemed close to my ideal. A few weeks ago I would not have hesitated but now she seemed such a let down. The evening was spoilt. I knew that I would not pull, in fact I no longer had the inclination to, so I swiftly finished my pint and headed moodily home.

That week dragged by as I quickly ran out of things to occupy myself with. Still feeling more than a little sorry for myself, I had only reluctantly checked out a few possible jobs. No matter how good the job I don't think it would have attracted me, given my depressive mood. A couple of times I built myself up to go out socialising again but each time the red-headed stranger and my huge dismay that followed changed my mind.

I spent some time with my sympathetic parents and only Brian and Michelle visited me. The only other times I went out was for a quiet pint with my younger brother Paul. It made me realise that most of my friends, at least those local, were actually just work colleagues and my sudden departure must have made it difficult for them.

The following Monday I bought a nice bottle of Juliénas to celebrate my first week of freedom. Juliénas is a Beaujolais Cru, which offer an excellent French red wine at an affordable price and as I was now out of work the latter was important. Whether the word 'celebrate' was strictly accurate is a mute point but it was an excuse to self indulge.

Barely had I opened it to breathe when the doorbell rang. My first thought was that it was my younger brother, who can smell a good bottle of wine being opened from miles away; also he'd said that he would call round over the weekend and for him a day late was still pretty good.

Smiling, I headed to the door, knowing that Paul invariably cheered me up.

To my utter astonishment it was a very nervous Amanda at the door. Already smiling, the initial sight of my dream girl filled me with joy. I quickly and enthusiastically invited her in. As I followed her into the living room my mind went into overdrive trying to work out why she was here. Even with my total pessimism of late I could think of no bad reason for her to call to see me.

"It's really great to see you Amanda." I said genuinely as I took her coat and threw it over the back of the chair. "And I am really sorry for the embarrassment I caused you before, its just that..."

Once more I had let my mouth operate without my brain in gear. I knew exactly what the 'just that' was but explaining it would just repeat the embarrassment that I was apologising for. My voice just trailed off leaving an empty silence.

Realising that I had finished Amanda laughed softly at my latest gaff.

"Don't worry, I think I know what 'just that' is and I'm glad of it."

This just confused me, but she carried on.

"Also there is no need to apologise. In fact it is me that should apologise to you for acting like a little girl and running from things, but I did not want you to see me cry."

By now I was totally bewildered.

"That apology is one of the three reasons why I am here." Amanda finished and looked at me expectantly.

As I had no idea what she expected I remained numb and silent.

"Well! Do you accept my apology?" She asked with a nervous exasperation.

"Yes, of course, but of course there's nothing to apologise for of course." I stammered, just about making sense.

She smiled briefly before her nervousness showed again.

"The second reason is that I want to know if you meant what you said."

"When and what?" I enquired, puzzled once more.

"Last week, just before I ran away." Her confidence drained away and I could even see her face pale, but she finished albeit in a whisper. "About asking me out."

I don't know whether she already had my heart, if not that moment sealed it. I was suddenly knew what it meant to be filled up with emotion. I couldn't speak at all but as I was still standing I managed to hold out my arms. She was out of her chair and in them in a flash.

Being unable to speak didn't mean I couldn't communicate. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me. I also couldn't resist burying my nose into her hair and kissing her head. I was quite sure that these actions had answered her question.

Eventually she looked up and I saw that she was weeping. I bent down and kissed the tears away and felt happier than I could ever recall. I desperately wanted to kiss her properly but couldn't make my mind up exactly why she was crying and whether my doing so would cause more distress. Eventually she smiled tentatively and pulled away.

"Thank you. You don't realise just how good that felt." She said slowly.

I grinned. "Oh, but I do. I know exactly how good that felt, especially to me. It took a lot of willpower not to move my lips down a couple of inches to yours."

This time her smile was full on, lighting up her entire face. She even blushed slightly, highlighting her freckles. For some reason a story came to mind about kissing each and every freckle. It sounded a delicious idea.

"I wish you had. I also think that you answered my question emphatically enough to know that there is plenty of time to put that right."

My heart leapt at this and I must have had a grin a mile wide for Amanda laughed, now more confident, and joked. "You look like the cat that got the cream."

"More like that cat that was just offered the keys to the dairy."

"Thank you!" She said unnecessarily. "On a serious note I think you need to know why I acted the lovestruck schoolgirl."

My eyebrows shot up at the 'lovestruck' comment.

"I felt an immediate attraction when I first entered your office and sensed an even stronger one from you."

I nodded.

"I know I'm attractive to some men and that my hair makes me repulsive to others so your response was not unusual in the least. What was different from all the men from Uni is that you tried to control yourself and treat me in a businesslike fashion. You made no snide remarks about my femininity nor verbal hints as to your thoughts." She giggled a little here. "Not that words were needed for me to guess your thoughts."

"Hell! I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was that obvious and I tried hard not to show my attraction." I said quickly. When I realised that I had not offended her I jokingly added. "Though I suppose the drool was difficult to hide."

She burst out laughing. "Quite right, it was pretty obvious. Its an odd thing for a young woman in that sort of situation. Obviously she wants to be thought attractive but more importantly she wants to regarded as professional. You managed both." She then grinned impishly, and couldn't resist adding, "although it was touch and go at first."