Chapter 17

Work was, in a word, work. At least until 2 p.m. rolled around. Then it took a different turn.

In a moment eerily reminiscent of a week or so earlier, Kelly called.

"Mike, I was wondering if I might ask you something," she began in a halting voice.

"Sure, what's up, Kel?" I asked in a suitably cheerful voice.

I was greeted by silence for a few seconds.

"This is not the reaction I was expecting," she said eventually. "Actually, I figured you would probably be a bit reluctant to allow me to ask you for anything — despite the gains we've made in the past few days."

"Hey, the last favor I did for you worked out OK for me," I replied. "I met Carrie and my heart was warmed by the knowledge that you were spending a few days in the pleasant company of your grandfather."

Again, I kept my tone light and I hoped Kelly would recognize that I was — mostly — joking.

"There is that," she admitted with a chuckle. "Damn, I should have thought of something really big for the next favor. If I would have known you were going to act like a human being about things I would have put more time into it."

"The key word is 'act' let's not forget," I said and my ex-wife and I joined in laughter for perhaps the 12th time in the 19 years we'd known the other. "So, what's up?"

"Well, you know the game is on tonight, right?" she said.

"Oh, shit," I answered. "Believe it or not, I completely forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me."

"You're welcome," she said. "Now here comes the favor."

She paused as if she was gathering the nerve to ask me to lend her my TV. I suddenly realized there was a second reason I still owned a set — college football.

"Can I come over and watch the game with you, Carrie and the kids?" she asked in a hurried voice.

"Sure," I answered without hesitation.

"Uh, don't you think you should call Carrie and ask if she minds?" Kelly gently pointed out.

"I guess I should but I don't think it'll be a problem," I told her. "I mean, it's not like we're going to be watching it in the bedroom or anything. Hell, I don't even have a radio in my bedroom."

Kelly laughed again.

"Why don't you give her a call and then call me back," she urged. "I'm certain it will be better that way. But I hope she's OK with it. I was planning to just go to a bar and watch it but I didn't want to be the lone Pitt fan in a room full of worthless nuts."

I laughed in spite of myself.

"I see you were at least paying a little bit of attention to my diatribes during our marriage," I joked.

"Well, the saying is certain apropos," she said with a girlish giggle that I hadn't heard since minutes into our first encounter. "I mean, what the hell is a Buckeye anyway and why would you name your sports teams after it?"

"You realize Ohio State is in the same university system as where you work, right?" I said.

"And Penn State is in the same one as Pitt," she rejoined. "Are you going to start rooting for the Nittany Lions anytime soon?"

"Just the moment hell freezes over," I offered.

"Well, you and I have had a series of conversations without resorting to name calling so I would guess Satan is probably expecting at least a frost," Kelly replied.

"It might not freeze over but I'm betting the higher elevations are in for some frigid temperatures," I told her. "You're right about that. But I still ain't rooting for those damned Ag students from State College. They have a golf course management degree, for Christ's sake. Who it the fuck needs a four-year degree to push a lawn mower."

"It takes them 3 years just to figure out how to start it," she said. "You know you have to put down the beer to pull the cord. So, anyway, call Carrie and let me know, OK?"

I agreed and called my house. Not surprisingly — since I was driving my car — Carrie was there.

"Hey, any plans for tonight?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah," she said. "My ass, your couch, my alma mater on the tube. Sorry, buster, it might only be the Tidy Bowl but when the Bucks play, I watch."

Well shit.

"Don't even tell me you went to Ohio State," I said. "Jesus, Lord have mercy. I should have known that when I found the flaw it would be a fatal one. By the way, your chestnuts are going to get roasted tonight — by my alma mater."

"You went to Pitt," Carrie said accusingly.

"You betcha," I told her.

"Mother fuck," she said.

"Well said, Shakespeare," I joked. "I see that bachelor's in English from OSU is really paying off for you."

"Ha, ha," she said. "Like your history degree is paying your bills."

"Hey, last I checked my political science degree was paying your bills, too," I joked.

"Laugh it up, Fuzzball," Carrie told me. "We'll compare net worths after the first of the year."

"Well, you got to throw Kelly's in with mine to make it fair," I told her. "After all, what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers."

"You better be talking cash only, pal," she warned in mock agitation.

"Cash, credit cards, mortgages, car loans, tuition bills," I listed. "By the way, you are going to be seriously outnumbered tonight so you might wanna sit quietly, not that you'll much to cheer about. Kasey and Mark are both being raised the right way."

"I'll convert them," Carrie told me. "They like me best."

"Kasey maybe," I stated. "Mark, not a chance."

"Wait until he hits 12," Carrie warned. "I'll give him one glance at my bra and he'll follow me around like a puppy dog trying to get another."

"Hey, no fair," I said. "I can't compete with that."

"Too bad, so sad," Carrie sing-songed. "You get the next 7 year. I get the 7 after that. He'll be heading to Ohio State, just like me."

"You only love me for my children," I pouted.

"Figured it out, did you?" she giggled.

"Kelly wanted to know if she could come over to watch the game with us," I explained. "She didn't want to watch it by herself nor did she want to be accosted by a bunch of drunken losers — I mean, Ohio State fans. Wait, that's what I said the first time. Sorry."

"It's your house," Carrie said. "And I really can't tell you who you can invite over."

"I didn't invite her over," I told her. "She asked if I minded. I don't mind but she thought it would be best if I asked you. After all, you control seven-eighths of the money and 100 percent of the hoo-ha."

"Good point and good choice," Carrie said. "Also good thinking. It's a shame all the training Kelly put into you isn't going to do her any good. But I'm fine with her coming over. It gives me one more adult to razz when the Buckeyes do all sorts of nasty things to your team. I mean, I already know I can make Kasey cry. I'm pretty sure I can make Mark cry if I put my mind to it. You'll cry if make threats about withholding certain favors. So you're easy. But when I make Kelly cry over a football game, it'll really mean something to me."