Chapter 21

Irene asked, “What are you looking at?”

Stephen answered, “You are wearing makeup.”

“Yes, I am,” Irene replied.

“Did you change your hair?” Stephen asked.

“Yes, I did,” Irene answered.

Stephen said, “I’ve never seen that dress before.”

“It’s new,” Irene said. “Claudia and I went shopping last weekend.”

“Irene is in love,” Stephen said pronouncing love more like ‘luuuv.’

Magus stepped out of his office and said, “Wonderful powers of deduction, Titus. Do you care to guess the identity of her love interest?”

“It wouldn’t happen to be Leland Bowne, would it?”

“Nailed it in one,” Magus said.

“Considering that it is stamped on her forehead, how could I miss?” Stephen said.

Irene wrinkled her face at Stephen and said, “It isn’t stamped on my forehead.”

“So how is Leland Bowne?” Stephen asked.

“He’s the nicest man I’ve ever met,” Irene answered.

Stephen and Magus looked at each other. Finally, Magus asked, “What are we? Chopped liver?”

“You are two of the most egotistical, self-centered, loud, obnoxious, infuriating, and strange men that I’ve ever met,” Irene said pleasantly.

“You left out nice,” Stephen said raising his right hand with the forefinger extended to make a point.

Magus leaned over to Stephen and, in a stage whisper, said, “She sugar coated it. Wait until you hear what she really thinks of us.”

“I can’t wait,” Stephen said.

“Do you remember when she was shy?”

“I do. Do you remember when she was meek?”

“I do. She used to be mousy.”

“I remember when she was timid.”

Wistfully, Magus said, “Those were the days.”

“Yes,” Stephen said. “Something intrinsically evil must have possessed her.”

Together the two men pointed at each other and said, “It must have been your influence.”

Irene shivered and then said, “This is scary.”

Further discussion was interrupted when a man entered the office. He looked at the group gathered in front of Irene’s desk and asked, “Is one of you Titus?”

Stephen was not aware that he had an appointment and immediately checked the schedule on Irene’s desk. There wasn’t one. He answered, “I’m Titus.”

The man stepped over to Stephen and handed him an envelope. In an officious voice, he said, “You’ve been served.”

“What did you say?” Stephen asked wondering if he had misheard something.

“You’ve been served,” the man said and then left the office.

Stephen stood there staring at the envelope like it was a snake. Slowly, he opened the envelope and extracted the paperwork inside. He read the first page and then shouted, “I’m getting sued for a million dollars!”

“Interesting,” Magus said with a smile.

Irene said, “Oh my. That is a lot of money.”

Stephen turned around as if seeking an answer from somewhere in the room. He took a few steps towards his office and then turned to take a few steps back to where he had been standing. He repeated the short voyage several times. Frantic, he shouted, “Ahhhh! Uhhh! Magus, what am I going to do?”

“You can run around in circles, scream, and shout,” Magus said.

Stephen paused in performing his nervous movements and asked, “What good would that do?”

“I don’t know, but that’s what you’re doing right now,” Magus answered with amusement written all over his face.

Stephen said, “I guess I should calm down.”

“That would be a start,” Magus said.

“Why am I getting sued?” Stephen asked staring at the papers in his hand.

Magus said, “That is a good question.”

Deciding that the answer probably was in the papers that had been handed him, Stephen read them with a little more care.

After reaching the last page, he said, “I don’t even know who this is. Some woman says that I maliciously and intentionally destroyed her livelihood.”

“That would be the complaint, but not the reason,” Magus said.

Stephen asked, “What is the reason?”

Magus said, “You’ve done the unforgiveable.”

“What is that?” Stephen asked wondering what unforgiveable thing he had done. He was unaware that he had done anything wrong.

“You are helping people. Don’t you know that no good deed goes unpunished?” Magus answered.

Stephen said, “I’ve heard that expression before.”

“There’s a lot of truth to it,” Magus said with a sigh. “That is one of the occupational hazards of this career. You solve someone’s problem, they discover they are unhappy about having gotten rid of their problem, and then they sue you for helping them. It happens all of the time.”

“That’s stupid,” Stephen said.

Magus shook his head and said, “No. It is human nature. Some people define themselves by the problems in their life. If they actually get rid of all of their problems, then they are nothing.”

“I’ve heard of people defining themselves by their job, but not their problems,” Stephen said thinking about it.

Magus said, “That’s not the only reason you’ll get sued. Sometimes your solution for someone creates problems for someone else.”

“I thought we were in the business of providing solutions and not creating problems,” Stephen said.

“We are. Of course, that only holds for our clients,” Magus said. “Sometimes our solutions negatively impact others.”

“How?” Stephen asked.

Magus said, “Take for example the cheating spouse of a client. We point the client in the direction of getting a divorce. All of a sudden the cheating spouse is in a world of hurt. The security that was at home is destroyed, money gets tight, and their friends turn against them. I would say that person has suddenly got a lot of problems.”

“That’s true,” Stephen said.

“People can rationalize things to the point of being absolutely convinced that they are doing nothing wrong. When they suddenly suffer from the consequences of their actions, they are angry at whoever brought about the consequences,” Magus said.

“I never thought about that,” Stephen said.

Magus said, “That is why we have Igor and Hagar. Sometimes people react violently in their anger.”

Hearing about people reacting violently, Irene began to get worried. She asked, “Am I in any danger?”

“I guess I understood that. That’s why you had security put on us after that little incident with the organized crime family and the crooked vice cop,” Stephen said.

She asked, “Am I in any danger?”

“You’re not in any real danger, Irene. Titus and I are the ones who bear the brunt of the danger. If it could get out of hand, we’ll hire bodyguards for you,” Magus said.