Chapter 4

If you wanted to see desolation--the ranch was it at eight the next morning. The carnival roustabouts had worked all night and the trucks pulled out at five a.m. The hay crew were already in the lot the farthest from the ranch buildings. It seemed as if there was trash everywhere. I went over to where the cars had been parked to see if there was very much in the bordering hay field. There were a few empty beer bottles thrown over the fence. I would get Amy and Amelia to pick them up later.

Paco and Juan and the two college kids came rolling in about nine, saying they had eaten breakfast already. Angelina was getting ready to go back to the city. "Amy and Amelia, Junkin is going to bring you into town for clothes on Wednesday. By that time he will have found out if you can go to school from here. That will make it so I can have more time to study. When I become a nurse, I'll try to find a job near here and you can live here all the time. Now you do everything he tells you to do. If you don't he has my permission to spank you. Now come give me a kiss and say good-bye to me."

I wanted her to ask me to kiss her too. I did get a look that she was aware. "Junkin, I'll see you when you bring the girls in. You promised to take us out for lunch so I'll see you then." She hesitated and then came over to me. "Junkin, thank you for what you are doing for all of us. I declare I never thought I would say that. I mean it though." She put her hand out.

I took it and brought it to my lips as I bowed just a bit. "Thank you, Angel, I will see you on Wednesday." I stepped back. Angelina flushed at the gesture of fealty I had bestowed on her. It was actually more intimate than if I had kissed her.

"Damn it Junkin, just once would you do something that I expect you to do." She tried to act exasperated, but it didn't work for she was smiling too broadly. I could tell she was pleased.

I wanted to get to the bank so just as soon as Angelina left, Jenny and I went into town. It took over an hour for the bank to tabulate all of the proceeds. I came away with my copy of the deposit slip saying that the ranch's account had increased by $82,017.22. Not bad! I had lent the ranch $67,000. There was now plenty of funds to pay interest on what I had loaned the ranch. When Angelina came next time, I would talk with her about how some of the money should be distributed. I knew that I could finally work with her now.

The ranch was now in the black and we had accumulated quite a few assets. We had tons of hay over and above what we needed for our own stock. This second cutting was worth nearly as much as the first cutting, although there was only a quarter as many bales. It was of much better quality. We had a sawmill. We had enough vehicles to drive no matter what size crew we had. That thought reminded me that Izzy needed a driving license. What a boost to his ego if he could pass the test.

Our next project was going to be the poker party. That should bring in better than $10,000 over expenses for the one weekend. I had Randall Smith coming to look over how to get skiers up to the top of the lease. I was hoping he could come up with something that wasn't too costly.

One thing I hadn't had time to check out was the trail up the mountain and the ghost town that sat in the valley on the other side. Maybe I could convince Angelina to go horsebacking to see the abandoned town with me. I knew she rode. I did now, but it wasn't anything I was thrilled with. How in hell could people spend hours in the saddle and enjoy it, was beyond my comprehension.

Maddie and Mazie were all packed by the time Jenny and I returned from the bank and were waiting for a ride to the airport. They had said good-bye to Paco and Juan last night. The brothers were working with the hay crew as were Izzy and Pete. The twins were dressed in halters and shorts. Terry kept glancing at them in their brief attire. I was smiling and Bill was too.

I was tempted to suggest that Bill be the chauffeur, but figured it wouldn't gain me any points. Mom was going to drive them. I whispered this to Mom and she landed all over me. "Don't you dare! It would just make your sister mad." Sister? I had forgotten for a minute that Terry was family to me again and Bill was my brother-in-law. I chuckled at the twist of fate that made this so.

All of us were in the yard when the young women were ready to leave. They kissed Ezra and he acted as if it was his due. Amy and Amelia had tears in their eyes for they had been treated as little sisters to the big girls. And then they came for me.

I mean they were all over me. I had both of them in my arms at once. This time it was they who had tears. They exclaimed over how much fun and freedom they had this summer. It was something they would remember and treasure all their lives. They didn't know if they would ever get to come back. I assured them they would be welcome anytime. This was seconded by Ezra.

I looked around as Mom pulled out for the airport. All that were left here for the minute were Ezra and Grace Lincoln, Jenny, who was getting lunch, and Terry and Bill--oh yes, my nephew, and of course Amy and Amelia. I would be talking to Terry and Bill right after lunch. The girls were hanging on my arm wanting something to do. "Okay, if you want to, you can go look for beer bottles and cans in the hayfield next to where the cars were parked. Find all you can. I'm sure lots of people threw their empties over the fence. Just bring them up and toss them back over. We will pick them up soon."

"Okay Junkin, don't forget us when you eat." They skittered off.

Terry was amazed. "How do you get kids that age to do something? That wouldn't happen at home."

"They know everyone works on the ranch. They also want to stay here when they go to school. At home with Angelina, she has them at the baby-sitters and they are bored. You watch, they will make a game out of picking up beer cans. The work will get done and they have fun doing it. You have met Paco and Juan. They are down there haying. When they came here the first of the summer they brought trouble with them and were a lazy pair. If they wanted to stay, I told them they had to work. As a reward, they had two college kids to sleep and play with. The rest is history."

"What was the trouble?" Terry was curious.

"Paco and Juan were forced to bring two men with them who tried to rob the ranch. They almost succeeded as Ezra and Izzy were in town. Your dad took care of the one that went after Mom and I was able to stop the other when he went for Angelina. They are in jail now." I paused, trying to decide if I should expand on the relationship of some of the people here. "Paco and Juan belong to Nina. She was Ezra's woman but she spent some time in the bunkhouse when she should have been in the ranch house. It didn't matter to Ezra as the boys were born Hogans and he claims them.

"Izzy has just become a Hogan. Ezra was about worn out from running the ranch when Izzy first came. There was just the two of them here when Mom and Pete came out from the east. Angelina lived in town and rarely came out except to try to get Ezra to sell out. Paco and Juan, for a time Ezra had no idea where they were.

"Then I came. Ezra tried to give me half the ranch in return for keeping things going. That pissed Angelina off and she blew her stack, thinking I was running a scam on Ezra. She has just started speaking civilly to me. Then Jenny latched onto Izzy and to give him some stature, Ezra got Angelina to make him her brother the same as Paco and Juan.

"I haven't done much more than meet Mrs. Lincoln and I'll be getting acquainted with her. What I'm trying to say is, we all think the world of Ezra and we want to keep him going as long as we can."

"These things all happened since you left home?"

"No, these things happened since Mom came."

"Why did she come out here when she did?"

"Hmm, I guess that was my idea. What was I going to do with an alcoholic father-in-law who was going downhill because he didn't feel as if anyone loved him? I knew I was part of the problem and I knew what his dream was. Mom and Pete were about the same age and both lonely. She came from around here the same as Pete. That took care of where. The why--you know Pete is your father and he became the same to me when my Dad died. I haven't lost a bit of love for him and it has paid off in spades. Now he is actually mentoring me in the western ways. We both won."

"That makes me look like a hateful, uncaring person."

"Well you were, but tell me you didn't change before you knew he had changed? You told me you went to the police and reported him missing. He has forgiven you. You immediately came out to visit him when you found out where he was located. You have embraced the woman he chose to make his wife. You have given him a grandson to carry on his bloodline. Forgive yourself Terry. People can understand why you acted as you have even if they think you were pretty shallow the way you went about it. Get on with your life."

"But this is all tied in with you. How can you stand there and not hate me? I pushed you away just like I pushed Pop away and so much more. I showed the most disrespect when I started cheating on you. You provided for me and I threw that in your face because I was unhappy with how you earned your living. I--"

"Stop Terry, that's enough, you don't have to go any further. Just give my nephew the best care in the world. Tell him when he is old enough that he has an uncle out west who loves him. You might come and visit when you can. I'd like to see him occasionally as he grows up. You can always use the excuse that you want to see your father. Your father will never leave here and I don't believe I will either."

Bill stepped forward and shook my hand. "God Junkin, I don't believe anyone that I know really knows what kind of a man you are. You're the best."

"Thanks Bill, just take care of your wife and son. Now tell me how the town is coping with the clean up?"

"It has been pretty upsetting. No one knows anyone else because there are so many strangers around. Your junkyard property is busy night and day, loading or unloading stuff. There is plenty of money floating around, but that has brought in a rougher element. The town has enlarged its police force by half to cope with the crime rate. We even have a redlight district. Of course we have two new churches too. We are all waiting until it is over. We are hoping that it won't take the full four years."

"I miss the old business sometimes. I had connections all over. If I wanted something or wanted to sell something that I had acquired, all I had to do was pick up a phone. Someone I knew could put me onto someone that could answer my questions. I'm new here and have to start all over making new connections to get things accomplished. This barbecue will help a lot. If I call someone and mention Hogan's Hacienda they will know who and what I am.

"I have a lot of projects that need developing here at the ranch. I don't want to take away the western flavor or heritage of the place, but to enhance it. Ezra is an icon and I want to make sure he is remembered. It is up to my generation to preserve it for the kids such as Amy and Amelia. Hmm, I do get carried away, don't I? Let's just say I'm happy here and have no regrets about anything that happened before I moved out here."

My intent was to take away all the shame Terry and Bill felt in how they had treated me. If they had the freedom from that, then they would give Bill Junior that much more love. The baby might never know his real father and I am okay with that if he receives all the love from his parents that he deserves.

These were just words that I was speaking and I believed them most of the time. I wanted them to believe me! But there were still moments when I wanted to lash out and push Bill's face in. Revenge toward Terry--figure out how to label her as a whore and tell the whole world about it. I knew I wouldn't do this, but if I did, some people would better agree with those actions than the way I was treating Terry and Bill now. No one sympathizes with a cheating wife, but in this instance, they couldn't know Terry like I did and some of the reasons to cause her to cheat.

Maybe my thoughts could be read on my face. Terry asked, "Are you okay Junkin? You looked strange for a minute."

"No, I'm fine. I just remembered that I didn't give the girls any gloves to wear while picking up trash. Would you excuse me while I go tend to them?"

Wednesday I took the two girls into town and had lunch with Angelina. I had news for her about the kids being enrolled in the school and how ecstatic they were. Our lunch was nothing special, we just went out to a fast food place. It was a place that catered to young kids and they had things for them to play in or on. We were there almost two hours. It was the most relaxed I had been since coming west. I had many chances to flirt with Angelina and was tempted, but I figured I would let her open that can of worms. We were in her environment here--not out at the ranch under the moonlight or with a beautiful sunrise to exclaim over.

I did learn one thing. Angelina's taxes were due on her property the first of October and she was owing her tuition for the next three months. When we reached her home I asked what the total would be. I made a decision. "The ranch will pay for both. It is about time you derived something as the daughter of Ezra. We will go over the books the next time you are at the ranch. Hopefully you can come out this weekend."

"I will be out Friday evening. Are you sure about the money? How are the others going to feel about this?"

"They will be fine about it, honest. Jenny is agreeable as long as her mother and Izzy are taken care of. She has been promised money if she needs it. Paco and Juan have been told if they want better quarters on the ranch, we will build it for them. They don't ever intend to leave. Mom is a relative of Ezra and she may want separate quarters someday. I doubt it, for she loves the big old ranch house and Pete loves her. When you move out to be with the girls, we can figure something so you can have a separate apartment if you wish."

"What about you, Junkin? You haven't said what your plans are."

"I'll just adapt to whatever happens. I could say I just work at the ranch, but I think I'm a big part of it and I can't see where I'm going to be leaving anytime soon. Look, I have to get back out there. I'm doing hard physical labor tomorrow. I'm replacing Pete on the hay crew so he can spend the last day that Terry and Bill are there with him. Where are the kids? I want to say good-bye."

"I think they are in my room. You may go in."

I went through the door. The girls were laying crosswise on Angie's bed reading. They jumped up so I could kiss them. As I turned back I spotted a picture on Angie's dresser. It was the one Mom had given me of Angelina and the two girls. The one where I had my arms around her. "Do you like my picture, Junkin?" This from the doorway. "Jenny found it when she was putting away clean clothes in your bureau. She gave it to me. It is such a nice picture of the children, I claimed it for my own. I hope you don't mind. It took almost a day before I figured out where and how the picture was taken. I paid you for it already so it isn't yours any more."

"When did you pay for it?"

"Saturday morning as the sun was coming up. Don't tell me you have forgotten?"

"The kiss?"

"Yes the kiss." She looked at me. "That was a down payment. There will be other payments forthcoming periodically. Not today though."

"Okay, I can live with that. Bye girls, see you this weekend. You too, Angel." I could have used a payment right then, but I decided I would let my Angel set the boundaries for just a little while longer.

I did work on Thursday. Pete spent the day with his daughter and grandson. I will say that I was getting more and more impressed with Paco and Juan. They had my ass dragging by noon. Izzy, who never said much, was the most capable doing this kind of work. It didn't seem as if he expended any effort at all to get the job done. Haying was moving to a close and would be done tomorrow. One of them, I don't know if it was Paco or Juan, told me they could handle things the rest of the day. I headed in to the ranch headquarters.

I could hear Pete, Bill, Terry and Mom talking in the living room. I branched off in the kitchen and went into Ezra's quarters to get acquainted with Mrs. Lincoln. I found her pleasant with a twinkle in her eye. Jenny came in and joined us. We went over the past weekend and then how the haying was going. I said things around the ranch would be slowing down now until the upcoming poker weekend.

I could see that Jenny Berkley wanted to say something. "I don't know who to say this to, you Junkin, or Ezra. I'll just spit it out. You know that Izzy and I are sleeping together. He is fourteen years younger than me, but he is of age. Now I don't want you to think that I'm looking to horn into owning part of the ranch, but I want to get married to Izzy. It would have been easier to do if you hadn't adopted him. Can one of you figure out how to arrange this so people won't think I'm after some of the ranch? He loves me and I love him."

I spoke up, "What if you fall in love with someone more your age and with a few more capabilities?"

"That might be a problem if I was ever going to leave the ranch. I would like to make my life right here and I would sign an agreement that if I leave, I will not make any claim on the ranch."

"No, by God, if you marry a Hogan, you get a share."

"Don't go too fast Ezra. I'm in agreement that this is the way it should be. Think Ezra, about Angelina and how she may feel about it. Before anything is agreed to, let me talk to her. Remember what happened a few months ago when you wanted to divide up the ranch. I hope Angie has mellowed since then. Remember also she has two daughters to think of. Paco and Juan will be finding wives sometime. That will make them equal with Izzy and Jenny. If I can get Angie to half-way agree, that is the time to get an attorney to sort it out." I tried to inject a little humor. "How about you, Ezra? When are you getting married? You're getting to be an age when it ought to happen."

This brought a round of laughter, but Ezra ignored it as I continued. "Nothing has to be settled here today. Jenny will still be sleeping with Izzy and you will be sleeping with Grace. Mom is your niece. She comes into this as well."

Ezra looked at me. "When are you going to get Angie into bed? That'll calm her down. I bet she will do anything you suggest as soon as you do that."

"She has to love me before that happens."

"Shit man, she has loved you ever since she took that bullet out of your leg. You may not know it but that scar is just the same as the cows have after being branded. That's a Hogan brand. Believe it boy! Oh sure, it took her awhile to realize it and she fought it some, but she loves you. She told me."

I glanced at Grace and she was nodding her head. "I heard her tell Ez just before she went back to town the other day."

I was speechless and had to think about this. "I guess I will go up to the lease and look at the cattle. I'll be back, mealtime." I was walking on air when I got into one of the pickups. I was up there two hours. Did I check the fences? Nope. I parked the vehicle right where I received the kiss the other morning. Did all my thoughts stay with Angelina? They should have, but then I started puzzling about how to get people way up here so they could ski down.

There was a hill off to the east that Ezra had named the "hogback" because that is what it resembled. Click! A year ago before I closed the junkyard I remembered that there was a small ski area that had been closed for years somewhere in southern Vermont. I was invited to bid on the tow and lift equipment. The biggest catch was that it was still on the mountain and would have to be removed before it could be scrapped. What if the equipment could be salvaged and made to work again?

The equipment itself could be bought for pennies a pound if it hadn't been sold. Removing it would be costly and transportation even more so. It was a long way from Colorado to Vermont. Was it too much to bite off? Maybe. I'd have to get some figures and talk to a banker. Would Bill want a piece of it? I certainly had caused him some grief when I pulled my accounts out of his bank. I think he understood how I felt at the time. I mean if you are screwing someone's wife, you should feel a little pain. Well I wasn't ready to talk yet.

Finally my thoughts returned to my Angel and I was feeling a little guilty. I'd have to tell her about this someday. What would she say? She was getting to know me and I think beginning to understand me. One thing I was sure of, she would let me know how she felt.

I was quiet at supper time. My mind was on how I was going to handle this ski tow project. Several times those around the table spoke to me without me answering. Before Mom served dessert, I looked at my watch and figured what time it was where Randall Smith lived. I went into my room and closed the door and dialed his number. "Hey Randall, I'm ready to get that ski tow project started. Can you help me?"

He answered, "I can. I was wondering when I would hear from you."

"I think I have scrapped the idea of a rope tow like we built when we were kids. I think I will look for a used ski tow or lift. I remember one being for sale up in Vermont a year ago. Would you trundle up there and see what you can find? All I need is the equipment. Get the figures on what it would cost if it is still there. If you can find what I want, start estimating what it is going to cost to tear it down, load it on trucks and transport it. I'll need figures because I don't have that much money right now. I do have a couple of million due me in the next three years so I'm not broke.

"Just as soon as you get the figures, come out here and show me what's needed for bases for the towers or whatever they call them. Why don't you get your engineering company involved for that part?" I listened as he clarified what he thought would need to be done. "You're a buddy. Let me know just as soon as you can. Winter's coming, you know."

I wore a satisfied smile when I came out of the room. Terry was the only one smiling. "Junkin either just spent an awful lot of money or made an awful lot of money. I bet it had to do with junk, too. I've seen him like this too many times not to recognize that look. How much this time?"

"Don't know yet. It is a risk. Ezra says there is plenty of snow here in the valley. All I've done so far is see if I can find a ski tow. How is your bank on making commercial loans, Bill?"

Bill flushed, "We haven't made too many lately. Some pissed-off husband sewed the market up and took our business to another bank." He was smiling.

"So if this pissed-off husband relented and threw some business your way, would you turn it down? Would you trust him to repay the loan?"

"Yes I would, and not because of his credit either. It is more personal than that. Junkin, just let me know and I'll see if I can help you if you need it."

Terry, Bill and little Junior got ready to leave in the morning. Mom was driving them to the airport. Ezra was the ever gracious host and invited them back anytime. "You're family you know." It took me a minute to figure that one out. It came to me then, Terry's father was married to Mom and Mom was Ezra's niece--oh shit, it was too complicated! I suppose it didn't matter. If Terry came to visit, I would be seeing Bill Junior. That was the only thing that interested me. I had given up my firstborn, but I did want to see how he turned out.

Terry caught me alone for a minute. "Junkin, I have seen another side of you this past week. You have opened up and I can see the kind of man you really are. I love you. I mean that, but it is for the way you have treated me and Bill. When you were sitting around in the junkyard, I didn't see the real you and turned away. I should have known after the way you treated me way back the night you took me to the prom. I'm sorry about that in a way, but I think it was the best thing for both of us.

"Angelina is here and I know you love her. I think she is one that you should sweep off her feet. I'm speaking now as your sister. As your ex-wife, I guess I am a little jealous." There was just the hint of moisture in her eyes as she turned away. Later I was the one to hand Bill Junior in to her as they were getting settled in the car. Bill shook my hand and thanked me one more time as Mom put the car in gear.

Amy and Amelia rushed to me as they jumped out of the car when they arrived that night. I swept them both into my arms for a hug. "Did you have a good time in town?"

"We hated it. We had to go to the baby-sitter while Mom was in class. I'm never going to leave you and home again." They ran off to say hi to everyone.

I looked at Angelina as she made the statement, "I guess you know now how they feel about where home is. It's all your fault too. You have stolen my little girls from me."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Junkin, if this was back two or three months ago, I would be very upset. Now the only part I dislike is the fact that I'm not their only all-be-all. I miss that. They are so happy out here at the ranch. They have changed, and being out here hasn't hurt them. Before they felt I was the only one who loved them. Now they know a whole lot of people love them. It is nice to feel loved."

"Do you feel loved?"

Angelina came a little closer and looked intently into my face. Then she spoke. "This is about more than just a kiss isn't it?"

"Yes." I didn't move. "Angelina, would you go on a date with me tomorrow evening? I would like to take you out dancing somewhere. Maybe we could talk a little without me having to pay attention to what is going on here at the ranch. Do you realize that I have spent only one night away from here in the last three months?"

"That was the night you spent at my house before picking up your ex-wife the next day."

"My sister and her baby, not my ex-wife, you mean. Your mother was there that night too, but you weren't if I remember correctly."

"Yes, I remember. I remember also that I offered my bed to you, but you gave it to her to sleep in. Maybe I should offer it to you again."

"Would you?"

"I might. At least I will think about it. Now go give someone some orders or something and stop looking at me like that." We both turned away from each other with a little smile.

It wasn't to be. Not that next night anyway. The hay crew wanted to finish up and I had to pitch in to help. Then the cows broke out of the fence and headed from the lease up the trail and the county beyond. Paco, Juan and Pete got horses and went after them. No way were they going to get me on a horse to chase cows in the dark on some mountain. It was almost midnight before things returned to normal. I was beat.

I didn't see my Angel when I returned to the ranch and Mom said she had gone to bed earlier. I was pretty dejected as we all ate a late supper. It was after midnight before I was calm enough to think about going to bed. All day I had thought about the date with Angelina which was supposed to happen tonight. I honestly felt worse about this than I had the night Terry had asked me for a divorce.

I slid into bed. It was already occupied. "Hi."

"Hi yourself. I didn't expect to find you here."

"I know. Life is full of surprises isn't it? I'm here to make sure you know you are getting a rain check. I can imagine how disappointed you are that we couldn't go dancing. I came in to tell you I am too. I'm not staying long so if you want to kiss me, I'm waiting."

Angelina stayed longer than she planned to. One kiss led to another and than the natural progression was to do some exploring. "Junkin, it has been a long time since I have had a man's hands on me. You have lit a fire in me and I don't want you to stop. I know if you continue, I will lose all control."

"I will stop if you say so. I don't want to either. I am patient and don't need to reach the ultimate goal tonight as long as it happens very soon. I would very much like to give you pleasure. Would you relax and let me make you feel good? I will stop the minute you tell me to."

"Just a little bit then. Just until I tell you to stop." Even with nightclothes on, she was worn out before finally telling me to stop. "Let me lie here in your arms. I feel so loved. Nothing has ever happened to me like this before."

Angelina dozed. I was wide awake. I was needing relief and I didn't know how I was going to get it. I did say I was a patient man, but the patient man didn't know how he was going to feel after he had held this beautiful little woman in his grasp and more or less had his way with her.

"Are you awake, Junkin?"

"Yes."

"I thought you might be. Kiss me and if you have any love for me, I'd like to hear you say it." I said it and meant it. "Now it is your turn to relax. Remember I was married for several years so I guess I am as experienced in love making as you are. Of course if you want me to stop, I might listen and I might not."