Chapter 4: Nobody’s Fault but Mine

When Julie and I returned to the house, no one was around. Hans was sleeping, and the rest of the adults were still at the movie. Lara and James hadn’t come back from wherever they were.

Julie and I sprawled on the porch couch and fell into a trance. We were too tired to do anything but lay there in silence, after all the excitement. Neither of us had felt steady enough to ride our bikes, so we had to hurry back on foot. By the time we reached the comfort of the couch, we were exhausted. A few times I found myself nodding off.

Soon we heard my parents and aunt pulling into the drive. I wondered what they would say when Lara wasn’t home. Julie and I looked at each other with the same thoughts.

“Maybe I should go,” said Julie. “At least Lara might not be in as much trouble if your parents think she’s with me.”

“True. But it’s late. You shouldn’t walk home alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” Julie dismissed.

“I’ll walk you,” I said firmly.

“But then you’ll be in trouble!”

“No, I’ll figure something out.”

I stood and pulled Julie up. We slipped out through the porch door and walked down to the beach, just as the lights went on in the house.

“You know, we’re starting to make a bad habit of sneaking out the back door as the owners come home,” I quipped.

Julie laughed and put her arm around my waist as we walked along the sand. We soon spotted two people walking our way. As they came closer, we recognized Lara and James.

“Hey,” I called out as we approached. “Everyone is already back at the house.”

“Are we in trouble?” asked Lara. She didn’t seem too concerned, though.

“I don’t know. We left right before they got there,” I said.

“Matt was walking me home,” added Julie.

“We figured there’d be fewer questions if we were both missing,” I said to Lara.

“Well, if you lot need to get back, I can walk Julie home,” offered James.

I hesitated for a moment. I wanted to accompany Julie myself, but the sooner we returned to the house, the better off we’d be. I glanced at Julie. She shrugged.

“Thanks, James, that would be cool,” I said.

“No problem, mate.”

I gave Julie a kiss and wished her goodnight, while James did the same with Lara. Then we went our separate ways.

“So what are we going to say?” I asked Lara as we approached the house. “We don’t have a side door to sneak in through at Aunt Beth’s.”

“Are you still drunk?” she asked.

I thought for a second. I couldn’t tell if I was tired or drunk. Probably both. “Sort of. We took the bottle with us and drank some more.”

“You do look a bit worn out. We’ll just say we were hanging out on the beach. Let me handle it. I feel all right.”

We went up the stairs and entered the porch. The women were laughing somewhat wildly in the kitchen. Lara motioned for me to sit on the couch as she went into the house.

“Hi,” she said cheerily, as I listened through the open door.

“Out late, are we?” Melissa asked.

“Yeah, you three were out late!” Lara agreed. “We were searching the beach for you. I was about to call the cops!”

I stifled a snigger. To my surprise, my parents and aunt laughed at Lara’s snide remark.

“No, Matt and I were just sitting out on the beach, chilling,” Lara explained.

“With James and Julie, I presume?” Sarah asked. I thought her voice was a little unsteady and happier than usual.

“They left a while ago, but we just sat out there a bit longer, enjoying the air, talking...” Lara answered, the pinnacle of innocence.

The adults appeared to be fooled, or, more likely, were too jovial to challenge the tale. They poked their heads out through the door to the porch and bade me goodnight. As their voices receded into the house, Lara closed the door and sat next to me.

“Nice one,” I said quietly.

“Thanks. How was your night?” she asked.

“Long. Crazy. But good.”

“Crazy, huh? What did you do?”

“We ended up going over to the house Julie was sitting for.”

“You went over to Becky’s? Why?”

“Why do you think? An empty house...”

“You and Julie are getting serious then, huh? But Becky’s ... That’s way far away!”

“We biked,” I explained. “We didn’t know where to go, so that seemed like the thing to do.”

“Did you get naked?” she asked in a low voice.

“Lara!”

She was grinning at me. “Did you get crazy on her parents’ bed?”

“God! I’m not telling you anything,” I said with a grimace.

“Fine, suit yourself.”

She shrugged and sat back in the cushions, closing her eyes and pretending to sleep. We remained there in silence for a while.

“All right,” I finally said. “We fooled around.”

“Well, I figured as much!” she blurted out, snapping upright and rolling her eyes at me.

“We were there when ... Well, we were fooling around when Becky and her parents came back,” I said quietly.

“No shit? Are you serious?” Lara exclaimed loudly.

“Shh!” I glanced at the porch door nervously. “Yeah. Luckily we were able to sneak out the back before they came in.”

“Wow.”

I watched as Lara tried to re-create the scene in her head.

“Did they see you?” she asked.

“No, I think we escaped unnoticed.”

“That was lucky!”

“Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, that was my night. We came home after that. What did you and James do?”

“Nothing as exciting as that!”

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

“We fooled around.” She seemed to be the one hesitating, now.

“Oh, thanks for that info. Didn’t know that,” I said sarcastically.

“If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell our parents?” she asked excitedly.

I knew she was going to tell me anyway, but I still reassured her. “Lara, you know I’d never do that.”

She looked at me seriously for a moment. “James and I had sex,” she said in a low voice.

I raised a brow in surprise. “Really? That’s cool. But where?”

“We went to the tennis courts. There’s no one there after the lights go out.”

“Ouch. Must’ve been uncomfortable.”

“We were on the grass, and James had a blanket,” she explained.

“Oh. How was it?”

“It hurt a little at first, but then it started feeling better. But it was all so fast.”

“So fast?”

“Yeah, James was so horny, he finished pretty quickly.”

“Why didn’t you do it again?”

“He only had one condom.”

I made a mental note to ask James where he got his rubbers.

“Me and Julie did it too,” I announced, more confident after Lara’s disclosure.

Lara turned to me and hit my arm playfully. “You didn’t say that earlier!”

“Well, it didn’t come up until now!”

Lara’s eyes suddenly lit up. “So you were in the middle of doing it when Becky’s parents came home?” The thought seemed to excite her.

“Yeah. Well, sort of. We didn’t really have sex. Well, we did, but I didn’t have any condoms, so we kind of did, but we were just playing around.” I grew acutely aware of the level of detail that I was sharing with my sister.

“Talk to James, maybe he can hook you up with some,” Lara offered.

“All right, I will. There’s not much point, though. We only have a few more days before we leave.”

“Mm. Kind of sucks that we’re leaving just when things are getting good. Still, a few days is a few days. Better have something on hand, just in case.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Feeling a little exposed, I yawned and stood up. “Shit, I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed. Long night, you know.”

“Yeah, me too.”

I pulled Lara up and gave her a hug. “Is this weird?” I whispered into her ear.

Lara pulled away and gave me a questioning look. “Is what weird?”

“Talking to your sister about your, you know, sex life?”

“Sex life? I didn’t know you really had one. Except your hand.”

“Lara!”

“Just kidding. No, I don’t think it’s weird. Does it wig you out?”

“No. I just never expected to be sitting here telling you about it.”

“Me neither. But so what?”

“So nothing. It’s fine. I was just checking.”

“Cool. Okay, let’s go, before you pass out on me.”

She gave me another hug and then we went inside. I was out before I even hit the bed.

Julie came by the next day, and she, Lara, and I went for a swim in the ocean. When I saw James walking down the beach, I excused myself and waded out to meet him. For a moment I felt silly asking him for condoms, but I didn’t think I’d enjoy buying them at the drugstore any more. I’d been mulling over how to broach the topic, but wasn’t sure what to say.

“Hey, man, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, mate.”

“I was wondering if you, um, have a way of getting a hold of any rubbers.”

Well, there it was. Direct and to the point.

James looked at me for a second and then grinned. “Yeah, sure. I can usually find some in my brother’s room. I’ll get you some when I go home, later.”

“Thanks, man.”

Following some unwritten code, I didn’t mention how I knew he had access to rubbers and he didn’t ask why I wanted them. I suppose both points were quite obvious, though.

We waded into the water to hang out with the girls. They were in quiet conversation, stopping as we approached. After some obligatory small talk, Lara and James waded out to lie on the beach.

“So I told Lara about last night,” said Julie.

I wondered if Julie was mad that I’d told Lara first.

“Really. What did she say?”

“She thought it was crazy. Cool, though.”

So Lara hadn’t mentioned that I’d told her about the events. I suddenly had a new respect for my sister.

“What’s wrong?” asked Julie.

“Huh? Oh, I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“About last night,” I said quickly. “That was a lot of fun. Did you hear anything from Becky, though?”

“Yeah, they left a day early and didn’t tell me. I have to return the keys later this afternoon. Do you want to come?” Julie asked.

“I don’t know,” I said cautiously. “It might be weird, especially if they suspect anything.”

“Nah, I don’t think they saw us.”

She sure seemed confident. More than I felt.

“All right, I guess I’ll go with you,” I said. Despite some apprehension, part of me was excited at the thought of seeing the couch one more time.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the waves or lying on the beach. Neither of us spoke of my impending departure, which was starting to weigh on me. We had two days together before I had to leave for home.

Eventually, Julie and I took the bikes and went over to Becky’s house. I offered to wait out on the road, but Julie assured me there was nothing to worry about. We parked the bikes and walked up onto the deck. Becky opened the door and invited us in, giving Julie a big hug.

“You remember Matt?” Julie asked her, as she gestured to me.

“Sure, you’re Lara’s little brother,” she said, looking me up and down. For a second, it seemed like she was appraising me for a sale.

“Yeah,” I said. She missed the frown I sent her way. Only her little brother by a few days.

“He’s not so little anymore,” said Julie, giving me a wink.

“Obviously not,” said Becky, regarding me again.

I stood there uncomfortably. I’d last seen Becky a year ago. Back then, she had braces and was a bit overweight. A year had made a big difference though. I checked out her body furtively as I followed the girls into the kitchen. She’d grown taller and her baby fat had turned into a nice set of curves, including a pair of rather large breasts. She looked pretty good in her tank top and shorts.

I was nervous about being in the house again, after having to leave so abruptly last night. Nothing seemed amiss, however. I kept glancing over to the living room, expecting to see a piece of forgotten clothing sticking out from a cushion, but there was nothing of the sort. I reminded myself that we’d taken everything out that we’d brought in, but I couldn’t help feeling strange.

One thing hadn’t changed about Becky: she still talked nonstop. She and Julie chatted for a bit, catching up on local news, while I stood around trying to appear interested. Finally Julie slipped in that we had to get back for dinner.

“What are you all doing tonight?” Becky asked me as we went out onto the deck.

I didn’t really want to have to hang out with anyone besides Julie, but I didn’t want to be rude to her friend, either. I just shrugged.

“I don’t know,” Julie replied. “We’ll probably just be hanging out at Matt’s aunt’s house. Or maybe the pier.”

“Maybe I’ll call over there later and we can do something,” Becky said, apparently to me.

Why is she looking at me? Julie was her friend. I hardly knew her.

“Okay,” I said vaguely, under the pressure of her stare.

We said our goodbyes, grabbed our bikes and rode back to the house.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Julie said, though her tone was a bit subdued.

“No. I was half expecting to see something we left on the living room couch, though.”

“Yeah, I looked over there a few times too,” Julie admitted with a small laugh.

“What do you want to do tonight?” I asked, as we approached the house.

“I don’t know, but I kind of hope Becky forgets to call us.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, relieved to hear that. “I mean Becky’s cool, but I want to maybe spend some time alone tonight.”

“Me too,” said Julie. “Let’s just see what happens.”

After dinner, Julie and I were hanging out on the beach, having forgotten all about Becky. Lara came down and joined us on the sand. The evening was particularly hot and humid.

“Becky’s coming over,” she announced.

Julie and I eyed each other.

“She just called while I was peeing,” my sister continued, her face quizzical, “and told Mom that she was coming by?”

“Yeah, she asked what we were doing tonight, when we saw her earlier,” explained Julie.

“Do you think she’ll stay long?” asked Lara.

I had a feeling she saw the problems with a fifth wheel hanging around, and a talkative wheel at that. Surely she was hoping for some private time of her own with James, given our last two nights here.

Julie looked at her sympathetically. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe James will scare her off,” said Lara. “He doesn’t like Becky all that much.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“He thinks she talks too much, and it annoys the hell out of him.”

“Yeah, she can be that way,” said Julie. “But she’s all right most of the time,” she added, almost reluctantly.

We went into the water to cool off while we waited for James to show up, but Becky arrived first. She put her beach bag down on the sand and peeled off her clothes. She was wearing a tight string bikini that let her large breasts swing about as she walked. She waded out to where we were floating. As she approached I made sure to keep my eyes on the horizon, lest anyone see me eyeing her bosom.

Becky gave Lara a quick hug and greeted Julie and me.

“So what’s going on tonight?” she asked.

The three of us glanced at each other.

“We hadn’t really thought of anything yet. We’re all kind of tired though,” said Lara.

“Tired? Come on, people, I just got back from endless boredom with my family! I’m ready to have some fun. I’ve got some wine in my bag,” she added in a low voice.

“I don’t know if I can drink tonight,” Julie said. “Still recovering from some tequila we had last night.”

Becky stared at her for a moment and then laughed. “I never thought I’d hear you turn down wine! Remember the last time I brought some wine over to your place and your brother—”

“Becky, quit it,” said Julie, interrupting her. Her tone was a bit annoyed.

“What, that was a great night! You and John finished that bottle and—”

“Becky, that’s enough!”

Julie splashed her face with water. Becky returned the attack, thinking it was a game, but there was no mistaking the tension in Julie’s voice. I wondered what Becky was going to say that had made Julie so uptight.

Becky started splashing everyone, so the situation turned into a reluctant water fight. But only briefly, since Lara spotted James approaching on the beach. He had a bag in tow as well, and he sat down on the sand to wait for us.

“Come on, let’s get out. James is here,” said Lara.

We followed her out and toweled off. James gave Lara a slightly pained, questioning look. She just shrugged a little, rolling her eyes. Becky was soon trying to enlist James to help convince us to party with her.

“So James,” she said, “they say they’re too tired to go out and drink some vino. We need to wake them up.”

“I’m kind of tired too, actually,” said James, letting out an exaggerated yawn.

“Damn it, you all are wusses! Um, I know, let’s go to the pier to drink.”

“Hey, keep it down,” I hissed, “My folks are right up there in the house.”

“Oh, sorry,” she said quickly.

She momentarily lost steam. We stayed on the beach for a while, acting tired and lazy. All of us were hoping Becky would give up and leave. When it started becoming clear that she wasn’t going anywhere, James stood up abruptly.

“All right, let’s go,” he said quietly. “It’ll be dark soon.” He shouldered his bag, and we all started off toward the pier.

The next few hours were miserable. Becky must have been terribly lonely on her family trip, and she took it out on us with an endless torrent of words that none of us really wanted to hear at that moment.

She also passed the wine around. At first we drank half-heartedly, not really in the mood to get buzzed. After Becky went on for a while about her young bratty cousins, we started drinking in earnest, hoping to dull the edge.

Neither of us couples had really indicated to Becky that we were together and it seemed awkward to do so at this late stage. In retrospect, it would’ve probably been better to tell her right when we first saw her, but it was hard to tell her anything, it seemed.

“Then my cousin was like, Becky this, Becky that, and it was so annoying, you know, and there was just, like, nothing worse than...”

Becky got more animated as she drank, while we became more subdued. When Becky started putting her hand on my arm and thigh briefly as she talked, I knew I had to do something.

I got Lara’s attention, motioned with my head toward the shore, and closed my eyes. She gave a small nod, and then announced that she needed to get some sleep. As she rose, James offered to walk her back home. Without further ado, they said goodbye and disappeared down the pier.

Damn it Lara, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind! Part of me was happy that at least they’d made a good escape, but another part of me was getting bitter that Julie and I were still stuck there with Becky. Twenty more endless minutes went by as I wondered what the hell to do.

“Well, I think I better turn in too,” said Julie, during a rare break in the monologue.

I opened my mouth to offer to walk her home.

“Hey, my folks said I could sleep over at your place tonight,” Becky interrupted.

Julie gaped at her for a moment, wide-eyed. “Um, I don’t know ... I, uh, I haven’t asked my mom,” she stammered.

“She won’t mind. She always says I can come over anytime,” Becky dismissed.

“I guess. I’m really tired, though.”

Julie turned her despairing eyes to me. I had no idea what to do. I felt angry, but no solutions were presenting themselves to my wine-clouded brain.

“Well, I don’t have a ride home,” Becky said flatly. “I don’t know if I can walk all the way back now. I’m all drunk and shit.”

I sighed silently and then shrugged. I could see the apology in Julie’s eyes.

“No, I guess you can’t walk home now,” said Julie, with a slight unpleasantness in her voice as she stood up.

I walked with them to Julie’s, a last ditch attempt at maybe having some alone time with her after we arrived at her house. I could see why James didn’t like Becky. My resentment toward her grew even more as we neared Julie’s place. When we reached the front steps, I said goodnight. There wasn’t even a way to get a kiss in. Julie and I shared a longing look before she closed the door, leaving me standing there in a huff.

The next morning I woke up in a foul mood. I hadn’t slept well at all, tossing and turning as I mulled over what could have been the night before. I was depressed at the outlook for today as well. Unless we could somehow ditch Becky, I ran the risk of not being able to spend much time alone with Julie on my last day in Montauk.

I ate a late breakfast and retreated to my room. I didn’t feel like doing anything, so I lay on my bed and sulked for a long time.

Someone knocked.

“What?” I grunted.

“It’s me,” said Lara. She opened the door and came in, closing it behind her. I lifted my head to look at her. She seemed tired, but there was a happy glint in her eyes.

“Hey,” I said dejectedly, plopping back down onto my pillow.

She sat on the edge of the bed and as I stared off at the wall. “Didn’t go so well after we left last night, I take it?”

“No,” I said bitterly, my voice heated. “Fucking Becky, she invited herself over to Julie’s to spend the night!”

“Why did Julie let her?”

“She didn’t, but Becky assumed it was okay. I don’t know, it sounds like Becky is there a lot.”

“I’m sorry. I was hoping you’d leave like we did and Becky would just go home.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.”

“Hmm ... We have to think of something for tonight,” Lara said pensively.

“I guess. Tell our parents not to let her come over, if she calls again.”

“I don’t know if we can say that,” Lara mused, “but at least I’ll tell them to let us talk to her.”

“I guess. She’s just so pushy. Totally took over the night.”

“Yeah, I know. Hey, cheer up, though, Julie is coming by for lunch.”

“Unless Becky is still over there,” I spat.

“Nah, Julie just called and said that Becky was going home for a while, so she was going to come over for lunch in a bit. I guess she had a bad night too.”

“I’ll get up in a little while, then,” I said, rolling over onto my stomach.

“All right, I’m going to cool off in the ocean for a bit.” Lara gave me a sympathetic pat on the arm and then went out.

A little while later there was another knock.

“Yeah,” I grunted.

Someone came in and closed the door. When they didn’t say anything, I turned around, surprised to find Becky standing there. She had her string bikini top on and a pair of short shorts. For a second I stared at her blankly. Then I sat up, thinking a thousand thoughts. I was in my boxers and felt rather exposed. I didn’t have any clothes at arm’s reach, though. To pull the sheets across my lap seemed somewhat ridiculous.

“Um, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was on my way home, and I was just stopping in to see what was up,” she said airily. “That was a fun night last night.”

I forced myself not to gawk at her chest as I looked up at her. “Yeah,” was all I could say.

“What are you doing today?” she asked, as if I’d invited her over.

“Nothing,” I replied, before I’d thought about it. “I mean, I don’t really know. Just hanging out, you know?”

While I mumbled those words, I wondered why she was here. She’d closed the door. She was in her bathing suit. Is she coming on to me? I started thinking back to last night, and her touches and looks seemed a lot less innocent. But wouldn’t Julie have said something about us last night, after I left them? Whatever the case, I didn’t think being in my room with her was a good idea, especially with the door closed. If Julie shows up now...

“You want to go into town and get some lunch?” she asked.