It's My Life
Copyright© 2009 by The Mage
Chapter 6
All three of the animals had survived their move to our stables without any injuries. I left them in the, hopefully, capable hands of their lads, and went to get Ben ready for the morning stables.
When I entered Ben's office I was very surprised and pleased to see that Annie was home from college for the weekend. It had been decided, early on, that it would be better for Annie if she went right off to school once we had settled to the fact that she wanted to be a Vet.
Ben looked at me for an instant then continued giving Annie instructions, "Lacie and I need to talk, so I want you to take morning stables today, Annie. As to the schooling, tell the lads to do the same thing as yesterday if Lacie and I don't finish what we are doing here."
Annie nodded, and grinned. She hugged her Grandfather, and me, then ran out the door. It was obvious that she was happy to be back home. I was surprised, because I didn't know she was coming home this weekend. It would be nice to have her, someone my own age, to talk to. Though I loved Jean a whole bunch, her sensibilities were of a different era, and we just didn't mesh.
Ben woke me from my daydreaming.
"Lacie? Lacie, come and sit down. We need to talk."
"That we do, Ben, that we do," I said as I went to the big wing chair next to the fireplace and sat down.
"Must you sit so far away, Lacie?"
"For the moment, Ben, just be satisfied that I'm still here."
"Lacie!"
"No, Ben, I told you all about what my family did to me ... and especially my father. What you and Bobby did to me was just as disrespectful to me, in its own way, as anything my family has ever done. When did I ever give you reason to treat me so badly? Huh? When?"
Ben sat there with his temper fighting his guilt. At first, he would turn purple with rage. Then that anger and color would dissipate and he would become as pale as a dead fish's belly with obvious guilt and grief, and then back again.
Finally, he viciously beat his desk with his fist a half a dozen times. As he did all that pounding I sat still and mute as a statue wondering if his actions were real or just a show to gain my sympathy. Ben looked at me and saw that I wasn't impressed. He stared at me for a full two minutes. I simply stared back at him.
"You have changed, Lacie. You are so cold. How can that be in so short a time?"
"I haven't changed Ben. I'm the same person that I was yesterday. You just failed to believe me when I told you that I would never allow ANYONE to ever treat me as my family has, EVER AGAIN; period, full stop, the end," I said with a totally cold inflection to my voice.
"Ben, you and Bobby crossed the line! Then, to add insult to injury, Bobby and his son tried that 'evil eye' thing on me. I am not amused! So ... my question for you, is: do you want me to stay? I can be out of here by the end of the day, if you no longer want me here."
The old man just stared at me, but I could see that deep down I had hurt him. Just then, Jean walked into the room. She pulled a chair up next to mine. She sat down and then took my hand. She struggled to speak as she stroked my hand.
After several seconds of this, Jean managed to gasp out, "Lacie ... Please don't leave us ... I promise you that there will be no more disrespect ... I promise..."
As she spoke, great tears rolled down her cheeks and dropped onto her great bosom.
My heart was breaking as I reached up and wiped the tears from the old woman's face.
Jean then turned to look at her husband, and paused before speaking. After several false starts she cleared her throat.
Then, in a strong clear voice she said, "Benjamin Cutter, I have endured your temper and selfishness all of these years, without complaint. But this ... this I will not stand for. You are beginning to behave the way you did before your stroke. You were an arrogant bastard, then, and you are returning to your old ways. Hear me now, Benjamin Cutter! You did not save this yard ... Lacie did! Everything that this yard is, now, is from her hard work and love!"
"B ... BUT..."
"No buts about it! You said from the very beginning that this girl had the ability to become the pre-eminent trainer in all of England. You taught her the basics and she went from there. You're just too arrogant to admit it! You and your Romany people did not save this place!
"If she goes, I go! And if I go, Annie goes. I still have my inheritance, so we can start over, but you ... You will be all alone. Will Bobby save you? I think not! No! He will do the same thing he did before, when you got sick. He did nothing. That is what he will do again, if we leave. There! I've had my say. Now it's your turn."
Ben look ashen as he asked, "You wouldn't leave me?"
"Oh, yes, I would! And I would use my money to buy out Sumner Stables. Molly told me that John wants to retire while he's still on top, now that he's won the cup."
If anything Ben's color got worse, he was so pale that I thought that he would have another stroke or a heart attack. I really began to worry for his life. I started to say something when Jean squeezed my hand so hard I almost cried out.
Ben sat, staring at the top of his desk. He nodded to himself and then struggled to say, "Please stay, Lacie. I apologize for disrespecting you."
I could see that it cost him a lot to say what he did. Yet, watching his eyes, I saw that he didn't truly believe that the situation was any fault of his.
At first, I was going to let things slide. Then I remembered what Peggy told me her husband said, after each time he had beaten her to within an inch of her life. She described exactly the same expressions and attitude. She would forgive the bastard, and then he would revert to his bad behavior after a short time and the cycle would repeat itself, over and over. Ben did the same thing. It was amazing to watch, as Ben now acted as if everything was back to normal, almost as if none of this problem had ever happened.
I felt bad that I was about to burst his bubble.
"You know, Ben, I do love you. I want you to be sure of that. I love Jean and Annie, too. In fact, I love all of you, more than you can ever understand.
"I thought that this was my home, and that you were my surrogate father. Then you turned into a 'superior being'. All of a sudden, I was way beneath you and your Roma friends. I don't know if you are of royal Roma blood, or not, but you certainly act as if you are. I am not your property, nor your servant. I have worked here with only your knowledge as my pay. To this day, you have yet to write a paycheck for me. I was watching your face when you apologized, just now. I could see that you don't really mean a word of it.
"I'll go pack my stuff. I'll be out of here before evening stables. You can play 'king of the hill' all you want, now."
I stood and walked over to Ben, kissed him very gently on the top of his baldpate and turned to leave.
Behind me I heard Jean say, "You stupid, arrogant old man."
Jean followed me out of the room.
Behind us, there was a crashing and thumping. I stopped and looked at Jean. She turned and ran back into the room, with me on her heels.
Ben lay on the floor! His body was rigid, and yet vibrated with muscle spasms. He was having a seizure, or another stroke!
I grabbed the spoon out of the old man's tea and tried to open his mouth as I did that I yelled at Jean to pull Ben's belt off. She did as instructed, and then gave the long leather strap to me. I folded the leather over several times, forced his mouth open and then jammed the belt between his teeth.
Next I slid the spoon between the layers of leather and levered the metal against the old man's tongue, clearing his airway. As I struggled to keep the old man alive, Jean dialed 999 (the British equivalent of the American 911.)
I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I was angry and frightened, I slapped the old man across the face twice with all that I had.
I screamed into Ben's face as I slapped him, "You had to have the last word, didn't you? You fucking bastard! Well, listen up! You will not die, today! I won't let you! DO YOU HEAR ME?"
I have no idea if the things I did are what caused the seizure to stop or not, but stop it did. At this point, Jean took over. She pulled the seat cushion from the wing chair and put it under Ben's feet.
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