It had been nearly two years since I'd left, going straight into the service out of high school. It felt good to be home again, though it was still going to feel different even then.
For one, dad had died the year I had graduated. That alone had made my leaving all the harder on mom, but she at least had a sister she was very close to, who had seen her through much of that difficult time. Though she lived an hour away from where we did, mom never failed to at least travel to see her once a month, sometimes spending the entire weekend with my Aunt Susan and my cousin Jill. The fact they had named me Jack wasn't by accident, though at the time it didn't really dawn on me that my mom and dad had thought it funny to name me Jack, after my aunt and uncle had decided to name my cousin Jill. It was only later that Jill and I realized they had done so on purpose, seeing as we were born during the same year, and only a couple of month's a part.
Still, even then I looked forward to our monthly visits, which most of the time was only mom and I making the trip up to visit with them. It was something I remembered fondly doing while growing up, and had always looked forward to it whenever we went. My cousin Jill, also an only child, though I never knew the reasons why the two of us were, only that's the way it happened to turn out. Because of that perhaps, neither one of us having siblings, Jill and I had grown especially close as kids, more like brother and sister as opposed to just being cousins.
Now home from the service, I hadn't as yet begun looking for a job. I'd decided to spend a couple of weeks just getting used to civilian life again, along with helping mom out around the house, getting things back into shape again for her before looking for work. Something I was in the process of doing now. Unbelievably, mom hadn't gotten around to boxing up most of dad's things. Much of which, I would be taking down to the donation center after going through them, keeping some stuff to actually use or wear myself. Other things, going up into the attic for storage until such time as mom decided what she actually wanted to do with them.
Away at work herself, I had gotten an early start, wanting to dispose of as much as I could as quickly as I could before she returned home. I knew it would be a lot easier on her if things weren't still lying around when she got home. Hard enough how different it would appear when they were gone, harder still to see them sitting there in preparation of being given away or even stored.
I'd been at it pretty much all day long, just then taking the last few stored boxes up to the attic. Needing to make a bit of room and keep things orderly and neat, as there was no telling how long things would be up here, I decided to combine those boxes with a few others that were sitting there. Most of those I noticed were some of moms, things she'd kept for whatever reason. Mostly old photograph books and memorabilia from the years that she and dad had spent together. I had taken a small break to look through a few of them, which is when I came across a couple of old worn leather strapped books. I immediately recognized them for what they were, diaries. The little locks on them had been broken a long time ago as I picked one of three up out of the box, curious about it, but hardly expecting anything electrifying or major in reading any of the passages. Mom had been writing in diaries for years, and as mundane as her life seemed to be, I hardly expected to read anything more other than a few private thoughts perhaps, or how she had spent the day working out in her garden.
Boy was I in for a big surprise.
I noticed the one I was holding was dated 1975. I smiled thinking back how I could have only been around thirteen or fourteen years of age at the time. The first few entries in fact were indeed pretty mundane, just as I'd suspected, with little being said except for what significant occurrences mom felt, had happened that particular day.
I was just about to put the diary back when one entry caught my eye. It was dated on a Saturday, one I was particularly familiar with as it was also my Aunt's birthday, and I clearly recalled the day we had taken up the bus to visit with her on that particular weekend. I continued reading, remembering back, and then things got really interesting.
Though we had been planning on going up there for my Aunts birthday anyway, there soon was a second reason for mom's going and need to be there. I didn't know it then, and wouldn't for a time afterwards, but Aunt Susan and my Uncle Stephen were getting a divorce. She had discovered he'd been having a long-term affair with his secretary just two days before her birthday. She and mom had been on the phone together for hours, though she had locked herself inside her bedroom. I knew something was going on because she had, but beyond that, I knew very little else.
All that I remembered as mom once again briefly mentioned their conversation in her diary. But then I read:
"I knew you needed me emotionally, and physically just as much as I needed you. It had been so long since the two of us had been together, not since before our weddings anyway, and I missed that. After we had gotten the kids down to sleep, I remember coming into your room, you ... naked lying there on the bed waiting for me. You looked so vulnerable. I knew you were hurting inside, and yet, I saw the desire in your eyes as well, hopeful that by your being there like that I would come to you in the way that I most certainly did. For me, it was as though we had gone back in time, back to those days when we used to share a bed together and began to experiment. I knew then, I never wanted to stop sharing the intimacy we once had."
To put it mildly, I was shocked. I had to reread the passage twice in order to ensure I hadn't misread it. I kept thinking the intimacy she spoke of wasn't sexual, but as much as my mind tried to interpret it any other way, I just couldn't. Especially when I read on after that. Mom wrote of their encounters together, things they did after that, the time they spent. And it wasn't in general details either, but very explicit in nature, the way she described my Aunt's naked body, how she looked, felt, smelled and tasted as the two of them played together.
I sat back trying to digest all of this. Words mom had actually used, written down in her book were words I had never heard her ever utter before. "Sucking her ... your clit," words like "fuck" which again I'd never heard her use, and yet in her diary, she used them repeatedly, though the tone of their use was indeed far more erotic, needful than ever being used in a derogatory way. At first I sat there confused. Learning something about your own mother that's completely out in left field left me wondering if there was indeed a side of her that I didn't know, would never come to understand. On the other hand, it made her even more real to me, more human for some reason, and in a very big way, even more vulnerable herself.
It took me a while to wrap my mind around all this, but when I did I found myself smiling at the thought. After all, who was I to judge my own mother when I'd been harboring my own dark secrets. Curious, once again looking back, I rummaged through another box discovering even more diaries, looking for one in particular. It was the year I had gone into the service, remembering another weekend when I had actually driven mom up to see her sister, and where I of course had gone in order to say good-bye to everyone as I would be leaving the following week. I had gone with the expectations of spending some time with Jill, a continuation hopefully of something we'd almost done, but had suddenly gotten guilty feelings about prior to anything actually happening the last time we had visited. As I rummaged through the box, my mind went back to that particular date in time.
As we always did, we arrived very early that morning just in time for breakfast. By now, as we'd been so comfortable doing whenever we did come for our visits, my Aunt Susan was still wearing her night shift beneath the thin robe she had on. It wasn't at all unusual for her to do so until after breakfast was finished before she usually got dressed for the day. I took those moments to secretly look at her, as well as my cousin Jill, so alike in many ways, and yet different in their own rights. Aunt Sue as I called her was about the same height as mom at just under five and a half feet. Jill on the other hand much taller, only an inch or two shorter than I was at nearly six feet. Both Jill as well as my Aunt had long dark hair, moms a bit lighter in color, and shoulder length whereas both Jill and my aunt kept theirs in very similar pony-tails most of the time. All three of them had green eyes, though I think Jill's could turn blue dependent upon what clothes she was wearing.
But that was where the similarities basically ended. Jill had much smaller breasts than either my mother or aunt had, though I wondered if in time she might continue to grow there as well. I'd seen photos of my mother around Jill's age, and she didn't appear then to have quite as full, or as large of breasts as she did now. Jill was quite naturally a bit slimmer too, not too surprisingly as she'd been on the gymnastics team during high school. And not that either mom or my aunt were totally out of shape, because they weren't. But to describe either one of them, I'd have to include the term voluptuous, as they had a bit more meat on their bones so to speak. Though sitting there looking at the two of them as they conversed while making breakfast, I could only admire and secretly harbor a few indecent thoughts regarding the two of them.
Thoughts I might indeed entertain, but thoughts I would never openly act upon.
Jill however, was something else entirely.
Growing up together, again closer than most kids back then, we'd gone through several "curious" phases together as I called them. One of which mom and my aunt had caught us doing. What I recalled from that, was that neither of them made as big of a deal out of it as some might have. We were indeed "counseled" about it to be sure, and told that it wasn't proper for cousins to be engaged in such activities, especially at our age. But beyond that, neither one of us had received any punishments. For a time, we did indeed behave ourselves, but only for a time.
Jill was the first girl I had ever kissed. Jill was also the first girl who had ever let me feel her up, which is what we'd done now each and every time we had come for a visit after that. Each time lasting a bit longer, getting a bit more exciting every time we did. It was because of that, because we had finally done far more than we ever had before, that I wondered if she ... like me, had overcome our previous guilty feelings about all that. I was more than curious to find out, and didn't have long to wait.
Even with our expected early arrival, Jill as she always usually did, slept in. She never had been an early morning person, definitely more of a night owl, very often not even going to bed until well after midnight. Something, which during my last visit had suited our purposes perfectly. Eventually we could all hear her finally stirring as the bathroom door opened and then closed up stairs. Minutes later the sound of her coming down the stairs in order to join us all, reached our ears.
Like I said, seeing my Aunt still wearing her sleeping gown wasn't any real surprise, especially as she for the most part kept herself well hidden enough beneath the thin robe she wore over it. Jill on the other hand left very little to the imagination, which my aunt briefly commented on, though making more of a joke about it, rather than admonishing my cousin for her somewhat inappropriate attire. All she was wearing was what they call a "wife beater" for a top, which she slept in, and a pair of short, men's boxers. I thought she looked sexy as hell in them, especially as her pert small breasts could be so easily seen pressing against the tight white tee shirt.
"Good morning sleepy-head," my aunt had said. "Was just about to send Jack here up to wake you, though it's probably good I didn't," she said giving her daughter an obvious look at her appearance.
Jill had walked around the kitchen table giving mom an affectionate hug, and then a kiss on the cheek, likewise moving back around behind me, doing the same, though I think her lips lingered a bit longer than usual on the back of my neck as she kissed me there.
"Good thing you didn't send him up, I might not have gotten up, or let him come back!" She stated surprising everyone by the implication.
"Jill!" Sue said turning to admonish her, though I noticed a slight smile on her face as she did that. Jill laughed, as did my mom, though a bit nervously as I recalled. Something that now had greater implications and meaning behind it now that I thought about it. Though at the time...
"Besides, it's not like he's not seen me dressed like this before in the mornings either mother," she continued. And in fact, as you remember, I wore that blue baby-doll nightgown the last time they were here when I was getting ready for bed, and you never said a thing to me about that."
"Well, it's because you were on your way up to bed," Aunt Sue had said, and I think Jack was being enough of a gentleman not to sit there and stare at your breasts, even though they were fairly noticeable!"
They had been indeed. And I smiled remembering that, both then and now. I had been a bit surprised to see her wearing so revealing an outfit, though as my aunt had said, she'd appeared there only briefly in it before heading upstairs to bed. But I knew ... as well as Jill did, she had done that on purpose, as a further tease towards me. It had been like that all day. It had been like that almost every time we had come for a visit in fact most recently. And now, with her sitting there at the kitchen table, her nipples now even more noticeably erect, pressing against the thin material of her tight tee, I was hoping for and now anticipating more of the same.
After breakfast was over, it was one of Jill's chores to then go out and feed and water the horses. They had three, which were theirs, plus they stabled and took care of four others for neighbors, making a bit of money on the side for doing so. It was a chore I always looked forward to in helping out with. Not only did we very often go out for a ride later, but also there was the infamous barn, which was situated on the far end of their property. A good walk, it also ensured us of a bit of privacy, which is where our last visit had gotten interesting.
But as I sat there thinking about that visit, and what eventually happened, I couldn't help but now wonder at what had also been going on after we'd left. As I said, my aunt always appeared dressed, refreshed for the day after her morning shower, but I now recalled that mom too had appeared to do that. We'd always be gone for at least an hour, if not two, plenty of time for my mother and aunt to spend some personal intimate time together themselves.
The puzzle pieces were beginning to slowly fall into place.
After we had walked a reasonable distance from the house towards the barn and the stables, Jill had reached down taking my hand. We walked together like that for a short distance, whereupon she suddenly dropped my hand and took off like a shot towards the barn. I stood for a moment simply watching her run. Her long legs, trim, sleek body was like poetry in motion. Moments later I took off after her watching as she soon after disappeared inside the barn. By the time I got there, she had disappeared.
"Up here!" Came her response, and though I couldn't see her, I knew then she had climbed up into the loft. Climbing the ladder, I reached the upper level of the barn, but she was still nowhere in sight. There were a lot of hay bundles stacked up there as well, and I could see that some had been recently moved, basically creating a bit of a partition or wall from prying eyes. I grinned knowing now where she was, but still not fully aware of what she was up to, until I came around the corner and looked down where she was laying.
She was totally nude. She had spread out, having prepared the place some time ago, as it seemed, a rather large thick quilted blanket over a pile of loose hay. Somewhat surprised, I could only stand there gawking at her, especially as she lay there, the evidence of another unexpected surprise awaiting me. She had trimmed her pubic patch into the shape of a heart. And I knew now, she had done so just for me.
"You like?" She asked grinning up at me. "I guess you could say ... I have a heart on for you!" she giggled excitedly. "Any chance you have a ... heart on for me?"
"I don't know about a heart on, but I certainly have a hard on," I had told her. Which I honestly did.
"Then show me," she said as she reached down between her legs, her fingers suddenly spreading herself so wickedly, and the look in her eyes wanton, lustful. I had honestly never seen her this aroused before, which she obviously was, nor had I ever expected to see her totally naked either like I was now. She was a feast for my eyes, and all I wanted to do was devour her.
Whatever guilt she had experienced the last time I'd come for a visit, seemed to have been dealt with. That she had offered her breasts to me to fondle the last time had been exciting enough. But after I'd left, with Jill acting so guilty about what we'd done during that visit, I certainly hadn't expected or even hoped for anything like this.
"You sure?" I had asked looking at her, though my cock was now pressing almost painfully against the front of my jeans.
"I've never been more sure about anything before in my entire life," she had told me. "I've been thinking about it, and almost about nothing else since the last time you were here. I finally decided... 'fuck it', it's what I want ... if you want," she finished worriedly.
I gave her the answer she was hoping for as I undid my jeans.
Even then I didn't move to join her immediately. Just looking at her as she so openly, so uninhibitedly played with herself was a fantasy of mine come true. Her breasts, though small were firm, hard-tipped and pointed. She held one within her hand, self-teasing the rosy pink nipple, almost by way of an offering. Her other hand, fingers delicately caressing her clit, just rubbing it back and forth, up and down her wet slippery groove. When she held that up towards me, I immediately knelt down in front of her, taking her middle digit into my mouth, sucking it off, tasting her for the first time.
She giggled hotly, perhaps not expecting me to do that, no more than expecting me to now do what I then did. With her legs still bent so obscenely at the knee, I prostrated myself down in front of her, kissing her womanly place, my lips immediately embarking on a first time experience as I mouthed her succulent, sweet tasting pussy.
Jill groaned deeply, tossing her head back into the pillow of straw and blankets, her hands now coming up to bury themselves in my own dark thick hair.
"Holy fuck!" She mewled as I now began lapping at her tender clit with my tongue, initially doing so lightly, softly until she all but mashed her cunt into my face humping herself against it.
Obviously I seemed to be doing it right, though this honestly was my first time ever experience actually doing so. And it wasn't to be the first only experience doing other things either.
Now ... I had made one other girl come with my fingers. So I was sort of expecting something like that. She had indeed moaned, groaning pleasurably through her climax. I'd even felt her pussy clamp down on my probing finger as she did. But that was the only way I ever had, up until now at least, so I still wasn't entirely sure of what to expect if in fact Jill even did come this way.
I don't think she was expecting it either when she did, as it was suddenly upon her before either one of us really knew it. One second she was lying there somewhat still, though still rocking, or rather rotating her hips slightly beneath me. In the next instant, she literally lurched upwards, her ass coming up off the blanket entirely. I felt her stiffen, her back arching as she sucked in her breath holding it for a moment, and then let out what I could only describe as a blood-curdling cry of release. All I could think of at the time was, "Thank god we're this far away from the house!" It was loud enough that I could hear the horses whickering down below us in the stables.
The other thing I hadn't expected, and to which she admitted herself afterwards, was the sudden expulsion of pussy juice that liberally sprayed my face. This was something totally unexpected, but not at all unenjoyed. She was even embarrassed about it afterwards. Telling me a short time later that she knew she got pretty wet, even to the point of 'gushing' as she called it whenever she masturbated. But this had been the first time she had actually 'squirted' to the extent that she obviously had. Maybe it had something to do with the way I'd brought about giving her, her orgasm. Neither one of us really knew for sure, but what I did know was ... I'd enjoyed it, and wanted to do so almost immediately once again.
She of course now had other plans.
Extricating herself from beneath me, Jill now rolled me over onto my back. When I felt her lips, and her tongue suddenly began to bathe my prick with kisses and light feathery little flicks of her tongue, I had somewhat of an idea of what she'd just experienced for herself. This too was another first for me. Up until now, I'd only had one single hand job by another girl, the same one I had likewise fingered in the back seat of my car at the drive-in. Nothing since then, and certainly nothing ever like this. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Which I think was partially what suddenly shot out of the end of my dick seconds later. If I'd hoped to have some sort of control, some sort of long-lasting stamina to endure and thus enjoy the sweet sensation Jill's mouth and tongue was giving me, I was sadly mistaken.
She on the other hand seemed immensely pleased to have brought about such a quick unexpected release. And oddly, neither one of us even considered for a brief moment as to what to do ... or not to do, when I actually came. She simply swallowed my almost constant, or so it felt like anyway ... spending as I squirted copiously into her mouth. The feel of her lips sucking me, drawing the head inside her as she opened her throat in order to more easily swallow my discharge was beyond anything I had ever felt before. And that included my having on occasion, masturbated with a baggy filled with whipping cream, which up until then had provided me with the best felt pleasure.
This by in large far surpassed the feeling of that.
We lay there together for a fairly long time, just holding, touching and caressing one another until we both realized we needed to be heading back before we were missed. But it was only the beginning of what I now looked back on as the most important, most significant day of my entire life.
It was then that I finally found the diary I'd been looking for.
Once I had, I quickly skimmed through it looking for that same particular date. I had already learned through briefly reading through some of her other entries, that even in the mundane, mom was particular in writing a lot of detail. I wasn't too terribly surprised then upon finding the dates for that weekend that she indeed had. Nor that those two specific dates had far more of a longer detailed entry than most. A lot obviously had gone on that weekend, much of which I remembered of course, but a lot more that until now at least, I hadn't been aware of.
I quickly skimmed through our arrival, and even some of the things we'd said and shared during breakfast that morning. What I was interested in, was seeing what she had written after Jill and I had left to go down to care for the horses. Now knowing what I did know, I was more curious about that.
" ... As I stood looking out the window, watching Jack and Jill walking down the hill..." She paused, and then I noticed a footnote she had written there in parentheses. (Perhaps it was a mistake to have named our son Jack, I cannot help but laugh every time I write their two names down together, especially watching them as they moved off. I can only hope that neither of them will ever hold it against us for having done that ... but I digress here) She then continued on. "Sue made mention to me a bit later how she thought it was very likely that the two of us had possibly already become intimate. I wasn't as surprised to hear her tell me that as I might have expected to be. I'd been thinking along those same lines myself now, ever since our last visit here. Just seeing the two of them together, the way they very often teased one another, even flirting a little hinted at that very same possibility. When I discussed it at length with Sue, her thoughts were that it was simply bound to happen at some point. She'd been actually expecting it to, long before now. The fact that Jack and Jill are both adults now, and most capable of making their own decisions with regards to any furthering of their relationship, should that include sexual intimacy, was something they would themselves have to deal with. Sue and I both feel that it could and very possibly would have far reaching complications should they decide to do so. But to interfere, to try in any way to keep it from happening, would be a very hypoctrical move on our parts. What we did agree on, was to be there for each of them, when and if such a thing were to occur. Though seeing them as the two of them walked down the hill together, eventually taking one another's hands as they did, was only the beginning of what the rest of the day would eventually offer up.
It was then that I felt Sue come up from behind me, kissing me ever so sweetly on the back of the neck, her hands coming around to cup my breasts, caressing them as she stood there fondling and kissing me. I was already wet between the legs in anticipation of some time together, watching the kids walking off as I turned towards her. Her hands now coming up to begin undoing the buttons on my blouse. Aroused as we both were, we soon after headed upstairs to her bedroom where we once again enjoyed the intimate touch of one another's bodies in ways I now knew, I could never do without. The only concern I had was when we sat for a moment afterwards basking in one another's arms after having given one another what was yet again another explosive climax, was her comment about Jack. It's not as though we hadn't shared certain thoughts with one another about other such intimate things, even fantasies, neither of which I think at the time we'd have acted upon. And sometimes just because we might admit to having thought them, wasn't in and of itself a bad thing necessarily, or one that would tug at my conscious later on. But I got the impression that if something ever should happen, Sue wouldn't exactly be opposed to it. What bothered me the most however, I'd been wondering about that myself."
Once again I sat back, wondering at what she had meant, though now knowing without any doubt whatsoever, that the two of them had been enjoying one another intimately at the exact same time that Jill and I had. It was an ironic piece of information to now know and come to understand. But I also knew there was more. A lot more. I had barely read through a quarter of the day's events as they'd eventually unfolded.
I remember just getting back to the house when mom and Aunt Sue came down from the bedroom, now dressed. I had noticed at the time that their hair was still damp from having taken a shower, but as I also recalled, mom's face had a bit of a flush to it still. I didn't think anything of it at the time. Now I did.
They had told us they were going out to do some grocery shopping to pick up a few things for the weekend, and then something special to drink as well, as mom and I had not yet told them I'd be leaving soon. Looking back, I almost wish that we had.
They soon after left, and I knew almost immediately that we had a good two hours or more once again to ourselves. After our time together in the barn, I knew by the look in Jill's eyes, she was thinking the same thing I was. Though instead of heading upstairs to her bedroom, Jill took me by the hand leading me out towards the back patio instead. It was much cooler outside than in, in the shade for one thing. And for another, the old hide-a-bed couch was what we very often sat on outside, and had in the past on several occasions, still used it as a bed to sleep in at night out beneath the stars. Which we'd in fact do that very same evening.
As quickly as we'd gotten dressed, we'd gotten undressed once again. Though even though we had, it was at that precise moment that Jill said something that would have significant importance for me later on that same night.
"Jack? I want you to know ... I'm still a virgin," she told me. "I've been saving it ... not for marriage, but for the right guy to come along. I now know ... that person is you."
I was myself a virgin too, and though we'd never really discussed it, I think she was fairly certain that I was, and believed me when I told her that I was in fact. As we crawled onto the couch and began kissing, I wondered if she had said that by way of informing me, that this was to be that moment for each of us. In a funny sort of way, I was almost relieved when she told me it wasn't.
"If you're willing ... I'd rather wait until tonight," she told me. "I want to lose my virginity beneath the stars. It's the way I've always imagined losing it, and now that I know who with ... I'd like to wait until later on this evening after mom and Aunt Darlene have gone to bed."
I didn't have a problem with doing that, with waiting. If anything, it made the excitement, the expectation of that eventuality all the more arousing for us both. In the meantime however, I was already crawling up between her legs, to once again sample her sweet tasting pussy with my mouth, and hopefully, enjoy my only second ever blow-job too, hoping this one at least, would last a bit longer.
I could still see that moment in time inside my head as though it were yesterday, and not over nearly two and a half years ago now. I could almost recall how she tasted, how she smelled as I closed my eyes remembering that moment along with all the others of that fabulous, somewhat crazy weekend.
I looked down at the diary in my hand and began reading again.
"It's hard to say what we might not have known, or to what extent things had honestly progressed had Sue not left her wallet inside the house. We had barely reached the main road when she realized it, and hurriedly turned the car around. I waited for her to run inside and get it, expecting her return momentarily. After several minutes had passed however without her coming back outside, I grew curious, somewhat anxious and worried that perhaps something had happened. Perhaps she had tripped, fallen, hit her head. A number of things suddenly running through my mind as I ran into the house in search of her.
I was surprised to find her standing there in the kitchen area. She turned smiling, though holding her fingers up to her lips, letting me know in an instant to be quiet. I wondered what was going on, yet ... in the recess of my own mind, already had a pretty good idea as she turned back to look out the window, peering from around the side of the kitchen curtain as I now walked over to the other side, moments later doing the same.
I had half expected to find what I did, simply by the way Susan had looked at me, informing me in an instant to remain quiet in my approach, which I did. I don't know what I was trying to picture in my mind as I approached the other side of the window, but it wasn't at all what I thought when I eventually looked. There was Jack, obviously nestled down between Jill's outstretched legs there on the couch, licking her pussy.
It wasn't so much the shock of seeing them together, after all, Sue and I had half expected it to happen before now anyway. I'd honestly however thought to find the two of them fucking, but the fact that they weren't is what initially threw me. Perhaps it was because Sue had so recently gone down on me. The sensation of her tongue lapping away at my own tender clit, immediately causing the sudden stir of emotion the way that it did at that moment. I felt what I later called a searing jolt to my groin, the almost spasmodic tickle of desire, and the immediate surge of moisture suddenly gathering between my legs far faster than I would have ever thought possible.
Watching my own son, licking my niece's pussy ... and wishing now more than ever before, that it was me he was doing that to."
Once again I had to reread what she had written several times. "Mom? She had been wishing it was me? Doing that to her?"
I didn't know what to think. It was for sure a private thought, and certainly one she had never obviously acted upon. Even after that date mom never spoke or treated me any differently than she ever had. "Or had she?" I wondered trying to think. More confused now than ever, I crept back to my own thoughts, there'd been times I'd allowed myself a few fantasies, but never anything more than that. I'd never purposely spied on her, or attempted to see or do anything that would have been inappropriate for me to do. In the fantasy of my own mind, that was one thing. Actually doing something, or looking for the opportunity to do it was something else entirely. Sure, there had been those rare moments when I'd accidentally walked in on her while she was dressing. What son hadn't at one time or another. And it wasn't as though we had any hang-ups about running around the house in various states of undress from time to time. That happened to. Which perhaps is what at times gave birth to some of my imaginings. But again, it was never something I consciously set out to do.
I continued reading.
"I was becoming aroused, very aroused, watching Jack going down on Jill, glancing over towards my sister as the two of us stood there peeking through the curtains at the two of them. I know we both should have stopped, turned away and left again. Emotionally I fought with doing so, but the sensuality of what we were seeing held us both like glue as we stood there. Watching Jill climax, hearing her cries of pleasure and release nearly brought about my own. Only then did I realize I had actually slipped my hand down the waistband of the slacks I was wearing. I was soaked. My own pussy a virtual ocean of hot wet moisture as I stood there actually touching myself. Susan too was doing the same, unabashedly, uninhibitedly, so obviously aroused.
And then they switched places.
I had only once before seen Jack with an erection. Years ago when I had accidentally stumbled into his bedroom, not realizing he was at home. I had only seen it briefly as he had immediately hidden what it was he was doing. But I knew, even though I pretended I hadn't seen what he was doing, it was too obvious that he had been, to fully ignore it either. What could have been a very awkward moment for us both was one that thankfully we talked through quickly, telling him that it was perfectly natural and normal for people to masturbate. More importantly, that it wasn't anything he should have been ashamed about in doing. It had been my fault, not his, that I had come into his room the way I had. What I remember most about that, was our discussion afterwards. It felt so good and so natural to be able to sit down with Jack and talk about it the way that we did. I remember blushing when he asked me if I did ... if dad did. To which I told him yes, even married there were times when this simple pleasured act was enjoyed by most everyone. What could have been a scarring incident, I believe was left with a mutual respect and greater understanding between us.
I was much more careful after that, always knocking before entering. But I also knew from the few times I had stood there outside his door, listening to him as he pleasured himself, that even then I was aroused knowing that he was.
Now ... seeing Jack's hard beautiful cock once again, I found myself envious of Jill. The way she so lovingly licked his shaft, sucking the hard swollen head of my son's prick. I again wished that it were my own mouth savoring the delights of his taste, and eventually the warmth of his hot spurting seed into my mouth. God how I wanted that, and how I fought emotionally with the desire for that afterwards. I even became jealous surprisingly later. And not with Jill ... but with my own sister, as though she had no right to be there, to witness and see the exact same thing I was seeing. As though it was my own personal pleasure to be enjoyed, experienced, though I was as guilty as she in continuing to stand there watching the two of them.
We were silent as we finally drove into town, eventually discussing it, though Susan was cognizant of my discomfort, though not knowing to the extent or the real reason I was. Eventually we parked in the parking lot of the store we were going to, and simply got it all out. In the end, each one of us at least admitted to the other of our thoughts, not that either of us fully understood them, but at least we'd accepted and admitted that we had them. The fact that we both were still very much aroused didn't help the matter much. Nor did it help when later on that same evening, we got an even bigger surprise which merely added to that arousal, heightening it even more."
I wanted to read more, but it would have to wait. Mom was due home any time now, and I wanted to finish up what I'd set out to do before her return. Replacing the diaries back where they belonged, I did note the specific boxes they were in, promising myself to return and continue reading them when I could safely do so.
Hot, sweaty and sticky from my exertions, that and being up in the hot attic for well over an hour now, I returned to my room where I intended to quickly shower and freshen up. Even as I pulled the sliding glass door on the shower stepping beneath the hot spray of the water, I heard the sound of the garage door opening and knew that mom had arrived home.