Chapter 5: After Shock

Liam knew he was dreaming but was unable to alter his dream at all. He recognized the clear sky he was watching while lying on his back in the familiar field. He felt a warm body clinging to his side, but could not turn his head to check who it was. Instead, his gaze was forced upon the sky above.

He heard a voice in his head. No, that wasn't right. He FELT a voice in his head. It was a soft caress of a familiar melody. It was his Bridget.

You must release me and let another fill your soul. I will always be with you, but another needs you now and you need her; it is time. Your heart aches to share your love with her. You need to let me go. You must help them all heal. Only with their healing will you be able to move on. You are strong enough. You must help them. You are the only one. You are ready.

Liam felt ready to argue, but was unable to. He remained still and noticed soft clouds appear in his sky. They formed the angelic face of his Bridget smiling down at him. And then the clouds were gone. He still had so many questions for her. He didn't want her to go. He fervently wished for her return to his dream. As his mind was struggling with her loss again, he felt a familiar heat begin to grow within him.

It began slowly in his loins and then continued to grow throughout his body. It was all wrong for his dream. He forced his head to turn and saw Gina lying beside him in the field. Her hand was rubbing the bulge that was growing in his shorts, tempting his desire for her.

As Liam jerked upright, he awoke from his dream. Gina was beside him and still stroking his erection. He was desperate to remember his dream and get back to his Bridget.

"Stop!" Liam tore Gina's hand away from his body without thinking. Almost immediately he regretted his reaction.

Gina's hurt and embarrassment registered on her face. She rushed from his bed and his apartment, slamming the door as she left. Punching his pillow in frustration, he knew he needed to go after her. Just before Liam left his bed, he heard Bridget's voice again. She needs to feel the love you have for her.

Grabbing a box from the bathroom and his keys from their hook, Liam left his apartment and let himself into Gina's. He found her huddled on the sofa, sobbing and shaking. She didn't move when he entered, nor when he sat down beside her.

"I brought these for us," he began, dropping the full box of tissues on her coffee table. "I have a feeling we're going to need them." Liam waited for a response from Gina. When she offered no rebuke, he continued. "I owe you an apology and an explanation; I know that. I was an ass and I'm sorry. But, I have a couple of questions for you before I explain. Will you answer them?" Gina nodded her head. "Did your step-father hurt you? Or, other boyfriends?"

Gina sat up to compose herself and used a tissue to blow her nose before she explained. "No. My mother's husband never touched me. He was a letch and constantly leering at me but said my body disgusted him. I wasn't fat, but I wasn't athletic and toned either."

"Did you ever tell your mother how you felt?"

"I tried once. She told me that he was worried that I wasn't going to be able to find a good man to take care of me. I couldn't get her to understand the way he looked at me. Graduating and leaving for college was the best thing that could have happened." Gina wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Was there someone in college who hurt you? What about that boyfriend you told me about? You were with him for three years."

"You know how they talk about the 'Freshman 10?'" Liam nodded. "I, actually, had the 'Freshman minus 20.' I worked whenever I wasn't in school so I'd have an excuse to stay away from my mother's house. In the process, I lost twenty pounds my first year. That's when I met Gary. I wasn't even 100 pounds soaking wet; he said I looked good."

"I think you look better now. You're a very sexy woman," Liam added. "What happened?"

"Looking back, Gary would never take me to dinner. It was the movies, or a concert or a party. Anyway, he took me to a party for my twenty-first birthday and we both got a little drunk. We got back to my room and did it. I was telling him how wonderful it was. I was so stupid! He turned to me and told me he felt like he was fucking a skeleton! Then, he told me he was going to Tiffany's room; at least she was warm-blooded and knew what to do."

"I'm so sorry, Gina."

"I just pushed it aside and dove into my studies. I met Chris after I graduated and started working full-time."

"Has he hurt you before this?"

Gina tore at the clean tissue she held in her hands. "Chris wasn't this way at first. I actually wouldn't date him at first. But he was persistent. He showed me he could be gentle and loving so, I relented and went out with him. He became more and more jealous when he noticed other men watching me when we went out. And then, when he told me I had to choose between seeing him or having you for a friend -- that's what that fight in the hallway was about when we broke up."

"I didn't know."

"I know you didn't. But, when he forced me to choose, it was easy. I knew you didn't like Chris, but you never tried to get me to leave him. When he insisted on coming over tonight, I asked him to give me a back rub. I told him a friend had done that recently and it worked to get rid of my migraine. Well, he figured out that you were that friend. He went crazy."

"That explains the bruises on your face but not the rest of your body. Gina, I know enough to know those aren't fresh bruises on your breasts."

"Yeah." Gina concentrated on her hands wringing in her lap. She took a deep breath and then continued. "I met Chris at a club last weekend. Let's just say, Chris now likes it a bit rough. That last time we slept together was a big mistake on so many different levels."

"Thank you." Liam reached over and gently hugged Gina. "Now, I owe you explanation about earlier."

Gina pulled away so she could look him in the eye. "No, you don't, Liam. I was out of line. I misunderstood our little 'Truth or Dare' game last night. I'm just a physical person -- I like to be touched and held. I haven't had that since Chris and I broke up. I miss it. And with all the stress I've been under lately, then Chris; and your kiss was so gentle last night and so sensual."

Liam shook his head. "No, you didn't misunderstand. That kiss last night was real; it wasn't staged to make you feel better. But something also happened that I need to explain." Liam took a deep breath to muster his courage. "First off, I do feel an attraction to you. I think I always have, but didn't want to chance ruining our friendship so I made you my replacement 'little sister.' I like knowing that you're right across the hall. I can rely on you and I've missed that feeling since Bridget's been gone. I always called Bridget my 'little sister' because she was so much smaller than I was, kind of like you. But, she was also my twin, my complement. We seemed a lot closer than other twins we knew. My weaknesses were her strengths and vice versa. When she started to get the headaches, I went out of my way to find something to help ease her pain. The massages seemed to help for a while. When we found out about the brain tumor, I did whatever I could to help her."

"It must have been painful for you, too."

"We all took a trip to Ireland when we found out she was terminal. She had always wanted to go so our parents took us as a high school graduation gift. But, we knew the real reason. Two weeks after returning, she went into a coma and never came out." Liam accepted a tissue from Gina to wipe the tears that were flowing for his Bridget. "We spent a lot of time together in Ireland, Bridget and I. It's like she knew she was going to die soon and wanted to share all her deepest secrets and thoughts with me. We spent one afternoon just lying in a field, looking up in the sky and talking. It was beautiful and I miss that with her." Gina moved closer to Liam and wrapped her arms around him for comfort.

"I'm so sorry, Liam. I never knew."

"I had a dream this morning. I dreamt I was back in that field in Ireland, and someone was beside me, but I couldn't see who. Bridget was talking to me, letting me know it was time to move on and let her go. She said I needed to let her go so that I could allow someone else in my soul. She left before I could ask any questions. Then you invaded my dream." Liam sucked in his breath and shook his head. "No, that didn't come out right."

"But I think I understand," Gina consoled. "You were hoping to see Bridget in your dream and you saw me, instead. You still miss her; it's obvious. I'm sure your parents still miss her, too."

"I know they do. Bridget had a way of wrapping everyone around her finger. She always did that. I didn't mind, either. I knew our parents loved us, but Bridget had a special spirit that just enveloped everyone around her."

"So, what does all this mean for us?"

"I think Bridget was telling me it was okay to feel this way about you. I want to be with you, Gina. But, I don't want to damage our friendship."

"I want to be with you, too."

"You are like my Bridget in so many ways. I see you as my complement, too. You are the other part that makes me whole."

"I hated keeping this thing with Chris from you but I was afraid you would think less of me."

"I could never think less of you, Gina. You are so strong. I've seen it in you." Liam sighed while pulling Gina tighter to his body. "I want to be with you, as more than just friends, but I'd like to wait until your bruises heal before we..."