Chapter 6

Santa Fe was a nice place, but I was happy to be released from the KGC and Abner Folsom assignment to go home. I could have shipped my automobile home by train and traveled the same way, myself, but that seemed like cheating and sort of abandoning a faithful friend. The Oldsmobile got me to Santa Fe, so it ought to get me home.

Judge McAllister told me to take some time off, so I had plenty of time to make the trip. I did not feel compelled to make the best possible time getting home like I did in traveling to Santa Fe. Therefore, I loaded up my Oldsmobile and set out on my journey. I was wearing a dress, since it was so much more convenient for those piss stops I had to make. I had found that I was well able to take care of myself on the trip to Santa Fe, so I should be able to do the same on my trip back to Singer Flats. As before, I left off my bloomers purely for convenience sake.

Uh-oh, I was traveling through an especially desolate section of country at the edge of the goldfields when I noticed four very disreputable men riding as fast as their horses could carry them in my direction. I had been traveling at a rather sedate 15 MPH up until I noticed the potential threat, but now I increased my speed to 35 MPH. I knew that the horses could not hope to keep up with that speed for any more than a mile, so I was confident of escaping totally unharmed.

Unfortunately for me, there had been a windstorm a few days earlier, and a lot of sand had drifted over the road. The sand had started to put a real drag on my tires and I could feel myself slowing down rapidly. I was going to be lucky to make 5 MPH through this loose stuff that my tires were sinking into.

I still was not overly worried, since I had lost sight of the men I was sure were chasing me, but I was not going to stop. I wanted to make as much distance away from those men as I could. Oh, damn! Another uh-oh. The engine was beginning to overheat badly, so I had no choice, I was going to have to stop and let it cool down before I did it irreparable damage.

Just as I reluctantly turned the engine off, I looked back and saw one of those riders who had been chasing me. "THERE SHE IS, BOYS! I TOLD YA SHE WAS GONNA HAVE TROUBLE WHEN SHE HIT THE LOOSE SAND! FUN TIME IS HERE!"

Well, I didn't expect to get home without some sort of adventure, in fact, I would have been a little disappointed otherwise, but I don't consider the prospect of rape and possibly murder as an enjoyable adventure. I had a plan in mind as soon as I saw that I was caught, so I was not yet ready to panic.

I drew my Savage automatic and held it in my hand, but concealed by folds of my dress. The four men rode up with a lot of laughter and joking, all of it at my expense, but that did not bother me. Ever the law-abiding citizen, I did not want to act until I was certain of their intentions. "Good day, gentlemen. You have arrived in time to be of considerable service to me if you would be so kind. I would appreciate it if you would use your ropes and horses to pull my automobile out of this loose sand."

The men looked at each other and laughed. The one whom I thought must be the leader said, "Well, Missy, we might do that later ifen ya're kind ta us. Ya see, we've been out in the gold fields fer nigh on to six months, an' ya're the first female woman we've seen since we left Las Vegas. Now, why don't ya jus' take off that dress, an' let us see what ya're like under all them clothes?"

"Surely, you are joking!"

"No, Missy, I ain't joking. Now, ya jus' remove yer clothes afore we gits rough with ya. Cuz, ifen I have ta remove yer clothes myself, I won't be gentle, an' there won't be much left of yer clothes, either."

That was all I needed to hear! The four men were still astride their horses, and they were clustered around me on the right side of my automobile. That made it impossible for me to miss. I calmly shot all four of the men in the chest, and that 9 mm hollowpoint made quite a mess of their insides, judging from their reaction.

All four fell to the ground as a result of involuntary muscle contractions, but one of them did have his foot still caught in a stirrup. I figured that this had been legitimate self defense; therefore, I was entitled to whatever they might be carrying. I descended to the ground and began checking their pockets, their money belts, and their saddlebags. I did take their pistols and rifles, as well as the money they had. It amounted to $197, which was a lot more than I expected. However, it was when I looked into their saddlebags that I found a significant quantity of gold, both as dust and as nuggets. I couldn't put a value on the gold, but I was sure that it amounted to several thousand dollars. I didn't need the money, but I was still glad to get it.

I had just tossed the saddlebags containing the gold into the luggage boot of my automobile when I heard a shout. I looked to see an elderly man and two boys in a wagon stopped just before where the worst of the loose sand was to be found. "LADY, DO YA NEED HE'P?"

I waved to the man and shouted back, "YES, SIR, I CERTAINLY DO NEED HELP! MY AUTOMOBILE IS STUCK IN THIS SAND, AND I WAS ATTACKED BY BANDITS! I WOULD MUCH APPRECIATE ANY ASSISTANCE YOU COULD GIVE ME!"

The man said something to the two boys. They jumped down from the wagon and trotted toward me. When they got close enough, they saw the four dead men lying near my automobile and skidded to a stop. That's when I said, "These four bandits tried to rob me, but I was able to resist them. Please help me to pull them off the road where they will be out of the way. Once that is done, I have one more request."

The boys, who were 12 and 14 years old, used the bandits' horses and ropes to pull the bodies to an arroyo and dumped them in. Once that was done, I asked them to fasten their ropes to the frame of my automobile and pull me out of the sand. They had to pull me nearly 400 yards to be sure that I was clear of the loose sand.

When that was done, I gave them the four horses and the tack to pay them for their efforts. Strictly, from a monetary point of view, the boys were grossly overpaid, but I would have had to do all of that work by myself, and I had no use for the horses and tack. Therefore, I just made three firm friends, and you can never have enough of those.

I suggested that they help pull the wagon through the sand, just the way they had done for my automobile. The boys hurried off to do that, and I waited in place for them to catch up to me. The wagon was somewhat heavier than my Oldsmobile, so it took nearly 20 minutes for them to negotiate the loose sand.

Eventually, the wagon was through the road block and we all stopped for a little pleasant conversation. I learned quite a bit of useful information on the road conditions, so it was well worth my time.

By now, my engine had cooled enough so that I could restart it. I invited my three new friends to take a short ride, and they were delighted at the opportunity. We all climbed in and I started off. The two boys were occupying the rear seat and were bouncing around so much that I was afraid that they might fall out. A stern word from their father was enough to make them sit still, so I was able to take our speed up to 45 MPH for a short distance. All three men were thrilled to travel at such a breakneck speed, but the father was happy when we returned to the wagon, and he could resume his journey home. The two boys were also thrilled to have their own horses, at least until they got home. Then the situation might have to change.

I was happy to learn that I should not have to contend with any more loose sand. I rolled into Roswell and began to feel like I was almost home. Of course, I was hardly half way, but it would not be long before I returned to Texas where I would feel more comfortable. That popular song sure was correct, there really was "No Place Like Home."