Chapter 5

Ashley was sitting in her car in the parking lot waiting for me. I ignored her and went to the office to check in and get my key. I had dressed in khakis and a white shirt with a suit jacket over it. I carried an overnight satchel. It had been packed and sitting in my bedroom when Jean had put hers in there and I suspected that she had opened it and looked. All that was in it was a clean shirt, underwear and socks along with my shaving equipment. When I opened the door to my motel room, Ashley was behind me and entered the same time I did.

"Kiss me Milo."

I did and then I kissed her again. "Hi sweet, God I'm exhausted. I just entertained two women that were equally beautiful and could hate each other just because of that fact. I want to thank you for the distraction of having Lilly there tonight. I only had to spend less than an hour alone with Jean."

"You invited Lilly to dinner didn't you? Oh God, now I am going to have to worry about her too?"

"Ashley, were you like this with Calvin? Jealous, I mean?"

"Some maybe. But he didn't have a beautiful ex-wife hanging around and a beautiful reporter that thinks the sun rises and sets on your butt."

"You know, you are going to have to learn to trust me. Another thing, look at my situation. I trusted someone I loved and she destroyed that trust. So it is me that should be wary of trusting a woman. Ashley, I'm placing my trust in you and hope that you aren't going to hurt me. Can't you please do the same for me?"

"It is just that I'm so uncertain. When I see you, I tingle all over. I want to rush up and kiss you. I want it to be love, but what if it is just that I'm feeling sexy. The feelings I have for you are as deep or deeper than those I had when I was near Calvin. I don't want to disappoint you either and I will be crushed if I can't live up to your expectations. Frankly, I'm a little fearful of all of this."

"Don't be. I'm as uncertain as you. Look, I need a shower. Why don't you get into bed and I will join you very soon. We will take it slow. I want to make love to you and I think you want me to. We'll get into bed and see what develops. That will give me a chance to hold your body and just maybe you will give me your heart as well. That is what I'm hoping for."

It was an hour and a half later that we had each other's body to our mutual satisfaction. I dozed for a little while and then I was fully awake. I asked very quietly, "Are you awake, lover?"

Ashley squirmed a little closer to me as we spooned together. "Yes, wide awake."

"Can I tell you all about tonight? There is one new development you don't know about yet."

"What is that?"

"I hired a young man to work as my helper. He will be a senior in high school this coming year. He has his license and wants to buy a car. All that he could find for work was mowing lawns. I saw his work and it was very much up to my standard. I also had two people give him a good recommendation."

"Somehow, I think I'm going to be surprised when you tell me who it is. You've dragged it out so long."

"You are right. His name is Mark Burgess. He is Jean's stepson. The two people that I took recommendations from are Lindsey and Marie. When they said their stepbrother was mean, it was just because he teased them a little. I saw genuine affection going both ways. So I hired him for Friday and Saturday and told him it was just part-time. If it doesn't work out I don't have to use him anymore."

"You always read people just right. I anticipate you will be using him a lot. Are you going to be setting up a business with a name, books and the whole process?"

"I'd like to. I really don't think it will interfere with you and I and our original agreement. The makeover of your house is going to be an eye-opener in the neighborhood. My work will be out in the open and it will generate even more work. What I did on your front yard has brought me work. If I become more established in your community and people see that they can trust me," I paused, "you will see that you can trust me as well."

"You're serious about all of this aren't you?"

"You know it, Ash Baby." She squirmed even closer if that was possible.

"So tell me about what you and Jean talked about."

I told her what I had said to Jean about wanting the girls with me. When I quoted Jean's observation that the girls wouldn't have a woman's influence, I repeated my reply word for word. "All of this ended with my impression that Jean will at least consider my proposal to let them come stay with me. It could be that she wants to discuss it with James and I feel this would be a plus for me."

"Why is that?"

"I think their house is crowded and he probably will lean toward his own kids, which is only natural. He married a woman and I don't think he thinks too much of the baggage she brought with her. I don't see Lindsey and Marie as baggage, but he might."

Ashley agreed with me that I was right in thinking this. We slept after that, awakening in the morning, hating to think we would soon be apart and yet seeing each other close almost every day. And it was hard in never being sure when we could engineer another night like this. It would happen, we were both sure of that. I held her body in my arms and knew for sure her heart was not very far out of reach. Someday, I was confident it would be nestled next to mine. Again we came together before our stolen tryst was over.

We sat together now as two friends and ate our breakfast, never touching or indicating that there was love for each other in our hearts, hidden from the world around us. Ashley was off to stay with one of her friends that worked in the prosecutor's office with her. Her friend was one of two staff members that helped prepare cases for her.

When I returned home to my apartment the girls ran to me for hugs and I kissed each one as they expressed how much they missed me. I could tell that Jean was upset about something and I was going to be hit with it very soon. Curious, I wanted to get it over with. "Lindsey and Marie, why don't you go play in the gazebo for a few minutes and I will get your Mom packed up and ready."

"Milo, how could you give away more than a million dollars that was rightfully yours? Ashley gave everything to you and the girls said that she wanted you to keep the paintings. What kind of a fool are you?"

"First of all, it isn't any of your business, but I will explain. Those paintings were purchased by her ancestors years and years ago. They were her heritage even though she didn't know about them. I had very little claim to them and if I had kept them and the people here found out about it, I would have no future at all. I balanced that against a pile of money. To tell you the truth I never considered keeping them for one instant."

"Well I would have kept them if she had given them to me. Think what I could have done with all of the money."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but with that money, I could be somebody."

"Jean you are somebody and I'm somebody too. I'm still somebody with or without that money the paintings would have brought. When I look in the mirror, I see somebody and I pretty much like the person I see looking back at me."

"Damn it Milo, you always twist things around so you make sense. Don't you ever do anything that doesn't make sense?" She was thinking about what she said. "I know what you're thinking. If you had any sense you wouldn't have married me."

"Not at all Jean, you gave me a lot in our marriage. I had the love of a beautiful woman for several years and I gloried in that. You gave me two fine children and I'll always be thankful for that. For awhile I wanted your new marriage to blow up in your face, but I don't feel that way so much anymore, for I know the girls would be the ones hurt. If I had begged and pleaded and promised you the world to come back to me, that would have shown poor sense.

"I have thought about this some. As far as you are concerned I think you were like an ice cream cone. The first bite of a cone has the best taste. I had that and I ate it down until it didn't taste so good anymore. Then I let the rest melt away. I still remember that first taste and the kids are the memory that lingers."

"I don't know if that was a compliment or not. I'd like to think it was, but I never know with you. You are pretty deep and I can't always follow your analogies."

On the way back to the Burgess' house, Jean asked if I had a good time last night. "Okay I guess. I had several things to go over with someone about some things coming up later in the year. Yes, I guess the meeting was satisfactory." Boy if she only knew.

Mark knew I was bringing his stepmother home this morning and he was out in front waiting to say hi and make sure I was really going to hire him. Before Jean was able to get out of the car, the door opened and this provocatively dressed young girl, almost woman, came out. "Oh damn, Becky is out to show herself off. I'm not going to say what I think she is and she is just barely sixteen."

"Have you talked to her?"

"Ha, as if she would listen to me." Jean exited the car and went into the house. I got out and removed her bag from the back. Lindsey went running into the house with it.

"Hi Mark, not working today?"

"Nope, all caught up."

"Well if you aren't doing anything--I don't have any work today either, but if you want to see what we are doing tomorrow, I have to order the material. I have a meeting with an architect in a little bit on a different job to go over some plans. Also before I bring you home, I can show you what we are going to be working on Monday. There is no pay in it, but you might be interested."

"Sure, I'd like to see what is going on."

"Marie, run in and get Lindsey and tell your Mom thank you for staying with you. Tell her Daddy appreciates it very much." The girls jabbered away at Mark all the way back. When we reached Ralph Peterson's house I sent the girls over to see Kim Grover to tell her that I thought I could start on her nursery on Monday next week. Also to ask if they could play there until I finished with Mr. Peterson.

"Mr. Peterson, this is Mark Burgess. He is going to be helping me for awhile. I thought he would like to see what we are doing."

"Fine, I was wondering who was going to help you. You are going to need more help than him though. This is more than a man and boy can do alone. Have you got a carpenter lined up?"

"No, not yet. I'll worry about that later and I'm sure I can find someone before we are ready to start. Let's see the plans." I turned to Mark, "I'm pretty new at this construction business. I'm willing to learn and you might as well learn right along with me. Mr. Peterson is the onsite boss and is going to tell us how to put this project together."

"I'm going to work your tail off. If my name is on this project, you bet it is going to be done right. Okay, this is the material list, right down to the finish nails you are going to need. What is going to take the longest time to get is the balustrade system of posts and rails. The two curved sections will ultimately be the most expensive components. The columns we can build up out of standard lumber that will be strong enough to hold the porch and roof. I've indicated the window treatments and we can find standard ones most anywhere. All in all it will take about a month before construction starts.

"You've got all that old furniture and stuff in the garages. Get rid of that. The rough timbers you can order and hold at Home Depot. The finish stuff should be stored where it is at hand and that would be right here on the premises. You are lucky to have Miss Nelson--I mean Mrs. Winslip, financing this. She said when the money was needed, it would be there.

"I still have a few contacts and I will share with you, but you are the one that will be looking at the items you order for quality, etc. So get on it and get started. Of course you know you have to have permits and all that. You write up the application and I will review it for accuracy. A poorly written application has held up more than one job in my experience."

Had I taken on a bigger job than I could handle with my inexperience? Peterson could tell from the way I looked I was concerned.

"Hey, everyone has to start somewhere. This may be difficult and you will lose some sleep while thinking about it. The job is doable, mostly because it is a simple construction job, so hang in there and work at it. If you get into a bind, I'll find someone to get you out of it. There are still a few old friends of mine out there that would love to have a hand in this project of ours. It may be a simple job to me, but the end result is going to be mighty impressive."

"What do you think, Mark? Do you still want to work for me?"

"I do, I just hope I get to work on the house project before school starts."

"Oh, I will see that you are involved. I don't suppose you have a digital camera do you? I want to start a visual record of the work I do and put it in a scrapbook for the girls. Someday they may want to look back and see what their dad has done with his life. Come on, we have to get those kids from Mrs. Grover. I have to do a job there on Monday."

"What are we going to be doing tomorrow?"

"I'll show you presently. A lot of these rich people may have little projects in mind and I try to accommodate them. Have you ever done any painting?"

"Not much, although I helped a neighbor last summer."

"That is about the way I started getting interested in this kind of work. When your stepmom divorced me, I was pretty broken up over it. I had a business of my own, but had to give that up. So I started going to building supply places and just hanging around to kill time. It made me aware of what different materials were used for different jobs. I was fortunate in meeting Mrs. Winslip in that she gave me paying work and I was able to have a place to live. I worked seventy-seven hours the first week for her. I don't work quite so much now as I have to watch the kids this month, but they are worth every dollar I lose while I have them with me. The courts say children should be with their mother and I basically agree, but god I miss them."

"I can see that."

I pulled up in front of the Grover house. Lindsey and Marie came running from around back and shouted to Mark to come meet their friends. I heard, as I headed to the front door, Marie tell someone that this was Mark, their big brother. Somehow that made me feel good.

The room Kim showed me that was to be converted was already a beautifully decorated room as were most of the rooms in the house. It was their money and they could have it decorated as they wished.

Kim wanted a figured wallpaper with farm animals. It was a fairly long room so when she asked what I would propose for the ceiling, I suggested a series of circles done in the plaster. I could outline an animal in each of the circles down the center of the room. I also suggested that as you entered the room, on the opposite wall, I could make a plaster likeness of a baby right in the wall. When I asked how permanent she wanted it, she said make it forever. It would make a great conversation piece.

When we got around to the color scheme, she had things she wanted that I didn't feel confident in doing. I suggested she use the same company that I had employed to do my apartment. "No, you hire them and put in your markup on top of their bill. That way I will have to write only one check." I warned her that although the bulk of the work would be done on Monday, Tuesday and part of Wednesday, it would be a week before the painters could do the ceiling because the plaster had to cure. That was fine, the baby was still nestled in a safe place for another five weeks.

As we drove away I said, "Okay Mark, talking to the lady was a billable hour. Sometimes if you have a difficult customer, that won't show up on their bill, so your overhead has to be high enough to absorb it. Everyone advertises free estimates, but in one way or another the customer pays. Your father can explain it for he does the same with his clients."

"I wish he had more clients so he would have more billable hours. Sometimes he doesn't make very much."

"Maybe he needs to partner with another firm where each can work to their own strengths." Nothing further was said as we headed for the deli. I swung by the Home Depot and told Mark this is where I was getting the materials for tomorrow's job and then I showed Mark where we were going to dispose of the debris from the ramp.

I bought subs for all of us and we went to the apartment to eat. Mark had of course heard me make suggestions to Kim Grover about doing her ceiling. He asked many questions as I showed him the ceilings here where I lived. "So while you are plastering, what will I be doing?"

"You will be helping. This is a job that pretty much has to be hurried right along. The living room here was too big for me to do alone, so I asked Mrs. Winslip to help. We were both a mess when we finished, but we got the job done. The two bedrooms I did by myself, but I sure could have used someone. You'll see when we do the Grovers."

"Who is Mrs. Winslip? Jean has mentioned her several times."

"She is my landlady, my boss, and the widow of a man that was my best friend. I like to think she is becoming my friend too."

"How old is she? Is she pretty?"

"I think she is about twenty-eight. She isn't beautiful by some peoples' standards, Jean's for instance, but she is warm and friendly and a person you just want to be around."

"Do you love her?"

"Mark that is too personal a question. I've only known her a short time and really that would be our business and definitely not yours."

"I know and I'm sorry. I guess I read too many novels." Mark was flustered now and I knew he had asked without thinking. "Would you forget I asked? I am sorry!"

"Forget it. Say, what happened to your mother? No one has ever mentioned her."

A look of sadness came over Mark's face. "Mom is sick and Dad put her in an institution. She is pretty good if she takes her medication. Sometimes the state lets her out and we see her, but then she thinks she is fine and stops taking her medicine. She ends back in the institution. When I'm eighteen I'm planning on becoming her guardian and am going to make sure she does what she is supposed to. She is really nice and all of us kids miss her."

"How come your father divorced her?"

"Dad said he needed a woman all the time, not someone he just had to take care of and not someone that was in an institution part of the time. I guess he is right in a way, but it hurts when it is your mother."

"Where is your mother staying if she isn't in an institution?"

"The state has what they call halfway houses. One time they closed the one that Mom was in and didn't tell us. We found her out on the street wandering around. That was about the last time Dad had anything to do with her."

I let the matter drop. My estimation of James Burgess hadn't been raised any during this conversation, that was for sure.

I had Mark sit down and we filled out the forms I needed to employ him. While I did more paperwork I had the girls take Mark out to look at the gazebo. I reflected on what Mark had told me about his mother. No wonder the Burgess kids resented Jean. I suppose they lived with their father because they had to. I bet I could work up more than a little dislike for the son-of-a-bitch. He was married to a woman and when she got sick, the bastard dumped her. More and more I wanted Lindsey and Marie with me. I didn't want them growing up near him.

The girls and their stepbrother were gone quite a while and I was wondering where they were. Did I know this boy? Should I be worried? I went down the stairs and toward the gazebo. I was almost there when the three of them came around from Ashley's house. They had been visiting Mrs. Hamlin, and to prove it they had saved me a cookie. I decided it was time I took Mark home.

When we got there, Jean invited me in for coffee. I declined, but I did talk a minute with her, asking if Mark was a good driver in case he had to drive the girls somewhere while he was working with me. She said he was good and she had ridden with him. Before I left with the kids, she thanked me for letting her baby-sit Lindsey and Marie. She said it was nice to be away from home where there wasn't so much tension. I deduced that Jean's wonderful lawyer husband wasn't the easiest to live with--too bad.

I had spent the morning making calls and ordering material for the house job. I finished the paperwork that Peterson needed to review and handed it to him when I went for Mark. I would make application sometime this afternoon when Mark was deconstructing the deli ramp. I picked Mark up and he was waiting just as he said he would be. I put him to work with a sledgehammer and wrecking bar while I went to make application. Ralph said I was right on the money with the permit forms and to go for it.

That done I helped Mark load what he had pulled apart and sent him to the dump with the first load. This ramp may have looked ready to fall down, but it didn't come apart that easy. We struggled where it was bolted and attached to the cement posts. We got all but one of the nuts off. On that one we broke the bolt itself and I sent Mark down to the hardware section at Home Depot to get a replacement for all of them because of the rust.

To end the day we put up a barrier and some police tape so no one would think there was a ramp there. When we got back to the apartment, I handed Mark the keys and said I would meet him at Home Depot at seven in the morning. "You mean you want me to take the truck home?"

"Yes. I was thinking if you didn't have a date or anything you might want to go see your mother or something."

"That's going to put an extra twenty miles on the truck."

"Your mother would like to see you wouldn't she?"

"Yes."

"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

I hadn't seen Ashley for two days. I missed her. I was sitting in the living room thinking about her just before midnight, when the lights went on in the house across the lot. I rang her number. I got a tentative, "Hello."

"I'm going to be in the gazebo in about five minutes."

"Okay." Click.

There was no moon, but the stars were out, even though with the city lights, they weren't too well defined. In the gazebo it was night black. "Milo?"

"Here, Ash Baby." She fell into my arms.

"God I miss you. Hold me." We both wanted to let ourselves go, but knew this wasn't the place for it. We sat and cuddled and told each other what we had been doing since Wednesday night--our glorious night we had spent together.