Chapter 42

During the next two days, Dr. Heightmeyer and Dr. Beckett put Felix through the wringer in a psychological way. He was given as many bathroom breaks as he needed, liquids when asked, he wasn't in the mood for any food, and he remembered only bits and pieces when Dr. Heightmeyer finally brought him all the way back from the deep hypnosis.

The whole time during what Felix considered a form of interrogation, he managed to stay in his castle and stayed safe. As far as he knew he didn't give away any vital information, so he felt vindicated in his mind.

Felix was escorted back to his room by two Airmen and Colonel Sheppard, who told him that he was confined to the room until he was called for. That was fine by Felix — he rolled into his blankets on the floor and slept there soundly.

While Felix slept, the two doctors met with Dr. Weir and Colonel Sheppard in Kate Heightmeyer's small conference room to discuss what had been recorded during the two-day and night marathon session.

Elizabeth could see the rings under the two doctor's eyes from the lack of sleep and appreciated their dedication to their work.

She started off with, "So what all did you find out about Felix — that we don't already know?"

Kate and Carson shared a brief anxious look between them and Carson said, "I'll let you start first, Kate — you spent the most time with him."

The blonde psychiatrist took a deep breath and said, "The battery of questions we gave him was able to give us a bit more insight into why he is the way he is, but the underlying things we found ... were a bit frightening."

Dr. Weir asked, "What do you mean?"

Kate looked at Carson anxiously again and then back to Elizabeth and replied, "Emotionally he is a train wreck. I compared the EEG results we did a week ago and found the underlying things, and compared the two. Simply — I don't know how he has managed to survive this long without having a complete breakdown. The old term we used to use was 'redlined', meaning the subject was too emotionally wound up and could explode suddenly. Felix is borderline on that in my opinion, and this battery of tests just made things worse. I don't feel that we should have done things this way — it would have been better to let him actually adjust."

She paused to gauge any reactions and when she didn't notice any she carried on. "We were able to glean from his answers that he was almost killed several times — deliberately — by the Genii when they captured him. So he may have some issues with them."

She paused to have a drink of water and then continued, "His level of trust is quite low — I gather that has already been noted. He desperately wants to blend in here but feels out of place — he doesn't feel useful here, in his opinion. When he was going from planet to planet he became quite feral in my opinion, and it wouldn't take much to send him over the edge right now. He is able to retreat in his castle at will and stay there until he feels it is safe to come out."

Sheppard looked a bit puzzled and asked, "I sort of understand what you're saying but could you explain it for me?"

Kate nodded and replied, "When you were back on Earth and went through psychological training for if you were captured, they explained how you could get to your 'safe place' inside of you to deny the enemy information, correct?"

Sheppard nodded.

Kate continued, "He is able to do that and stay there — I had a heck of a time coaxing him out. That's why I say that his level of trust is low. We did find out that some incident back on Earth may be the cause of all of this happening — his getting locked out from the SGC, being on the run, etc. He is very torn up inside emotionally — he came from a very normal life on their farm, joined the Army, did all the training he has, and then got put into some very extraordinary circumstances. He managed to survive — as we identified from the earlier tests — by basically locking away fear in a different compartment. His emotions are put away but they come out on occasion, like when we talked about his family. In conclusion Elizabeth, I don't know how he has survived like this as long as he has — it's not normal. As for why he is touchy a lot of the time, we already identified that as lack of contact with any friendly people. We are the first ones to show him any friendship in quite some time, but he will walk away from it for his self-preservation."

Sheppard and Dr. Weir looked deep in thought for a long moment as they absorbed the information given by Kate.

Sheppard asked, "Is he a threat to us here in Atlantis?"

Kate answered, "No, in fact quite the opposite. He is more than willing to defend all the people here from harm — if he is allowed to, that is."

Sheppard asked further, "So what about him being condescending towards some of us — what's with that?"

Kate replied, "I see that as a purely defensive reaction from the lack of any human contact since he came to the Pegasus Galaxy. He doesn't always realize he is doing it, and sarcasm is what comes out sometimes. Again it is purely defensive on his part — Colonel - we all do it, whether or not we realize it. It's what makes us who we are. He is a very knowledgeable person who is at a place that doesn't know how to employ his unique skill set. I found out that he actually admires you three very much - he said he see you as very strong leaders that people respect. He just wants to belong somewhere, as there is nothing for him back on Earth according to him."